I think we have been treated well by this place over the years. That's why our group keeps coming back. Of that group, we have about half a dozen or so who are diehards, those who have been to most of my Game-watching events going back many, many years. I love them because I get to see them throughout the fall. I would have no reason to do this if they didn't continue to show up. So, if and when they have a concern, it would be my duty to listen and consider their grievances.
So, a couple weeks ago our alma mater's Game was on a Saturday night. It was getting busy, but we found a table. One of my regulars -- and seriously, this has been the group's A1 from day one -- comes in. He's been under the weather lately, but he still managed to show up to root not only for our alma mater by also for The Los Angeles Dodgers, of whom he has been a lifelong fan.
Like I said, it got busy. Not a big deal for a Saturday night, at least in my estimation. After about five minutes my friend leans into me and says, "You know, I think I'm going to be leaving soon because the waitress is pissing me off." Whoa. He's never said that before. Maybe things were going to blow over because we found a table closer to a TV that would show our Game, but after we scrambled to that table, he decided to leave. He had a Dodgers hat on; he was planning on staying several hours to watch our football team and the Dodgers. But he left maybe 15 minutes after he came.
Later that evening, after both the Dodgers and our football team won, I texted him. I apologized if him leaving early was my fault. It wasn't, he said, but it was the servers, two of them. First, and one of the other regulars noticed this when I kind of brushed it off: One of the waitresses told my friend he should not be using a high chair he took from another table because a low one was available at our first table, but my friend's health issues get exacerbated when sitting too low. There might have been an issue regarding the possibility that this low chair was underneath our first table, so maybe the server didn't know my friend couldn't see it. Second, another waitress wanted us to wait to get onto this second table until she cleared all the dishes and glasses and wiped it down. I think that's fine; in fact, I think that is what servers are supposed to do. But the way my friend put it in his text to me, that was the final straw. He felt disrespected twice, and so he split.
He was planning not to join us for our team's previous Game because that was on a Friday. But they're back on Saturdays now, and so I would expect him to come. But will he? I wanted to ask him earlier in the week, but I got so busy ... well, to be honest, I have been thinking up the right words to say. Look, I have left restaurants and bars before because I felt disrespected. If you feel that way, go up and leave. You should. The problem is is that if you feel that way, you never go back to that place. But that would mean, for me, that my good, good friend, and he's a real good guy, is never joining us for these Game-watching events ever again -- unless I change the venue. And I am loathe to change our venue. Sure, it would be nice to have the sound on. There is a school with a bigger alumni group that literally takes over the bar when their Game is on, forcing us to one table or even to another place. And maybe going downtown is a deterrent. But it is such a pain in the you-know-what to patronize a brand-new bar that won't push us aside for a bigger alumni group. As many disadvantages we've had to put up with, the equity we have built over the years is, to me, still worth staying at this place. And, finally, I would like to think the slights my friend felt are not so serious enough to not go back. But that's my perspective, not his, and as a leader, I feel like I have to take his considerations into account seriously.
So, what to do? I need to text him to ask if he's coming. Hopefully he'll say he'll give the place another chance. But if he doesn't want to come back ... well, I don't want to change the place just because he's no longer comfortable going there. Sure, you can call it laziness, but I don't have the energy to find another sports bar, I just don't. Does that make me a bad leader if I make the decision to stay? Maybe, but I can't see myself doing anything else. So it's my friend or the bar. And I can't decide.
Sucks being a leader.
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