In last Week's WMNSS, I thought that I would be go home from Game 3 of this MLS First Round series disappointed, and true to #MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA form, MNUFC provided practically from the jump, coughing up two Goals in the Fifth and Ninth Minutes. Joaquin Pereyra pulled one back via a diabolical Free Kick in the 19th, but in the 41st Minute, Joseph Rosales head-butted Jesus Ferreira of Seattle, resulting in a Red Card.
That was when I started to emotionally check out of the Match, and the season. No way does a team -- a Minnesota sports team -- come back from both a Goal and a man down. But goddammit, they did, and they did it off set pieces. Jefferson Diaz was the recipient of a header in the 62nd Minute to tie it up, and then in the 71st, off a Corner Kick, Pereyra found a completely unmarked Anthony Markanich at the far post to bang the ball home and give United FC a 3-2 lead. I have never, and I mean never, seen a 10-man squad score two Goals, let alone score twice to take the lead over a fully-manned club.
But again, this is a Minnesota team, and as much as it would have been glorious if they held on, they fuckin' didn't; Jordan Morris pounced on a loose ball (off a Sounders Corner, natch) to tie it up in the 88th Minute. That sent this Game, like Game 1, into Penalty Kicks, and then into Sudden Death Penalty Kicks, where the Loons, who went first, couldn't slot it home on back-to-back attempts. Seattle had two chances to end this Match and advance, but one shot hit the post, and another was saved by Goalkeeper Of The Year, Dayne St. Clair.
The teams reached Penalty Kick #10. MNUFC, who could only draw their Penalty Kick scorers from those on the field at the end of the Regular Time, had to go to St. Clair to kick ... and he succeeded, putting the soccer ball past Sounders GK Andy Thomas, who came in late in regulation for Stefan Frei for his so-called excellent PK skills. Even though an outfield player, Cristian Roldan, was available, the two Goalkeepers just rotated around each other, and Thomas needed to score to extend, and:
So Minnesota wins 3-3, in Penalty Kicks 7-6, in what is The Craziest MNUFC Match Ever. I love their resilience, but being a Debbie Downer, they shouldn't have gone down 2-0, they shouldn't have allowed that Game-tying Goal late, and they got lucky a few times as Seattle, like they did in Game 1, hit the woodwork a few times. They get the top spot this Week, but they remain in negative numbers. And they now travel to San Diego to face the expansion club that won the West and just smashed Portland, 4-0, to take Game 3 of their series. I want to think that an expansion team cannot be good enough to beat a team (and from here on out it's just one Match) that's been established for nine Years, but it seems as though United FC have their work cut out for them. Oh, by the way, I'm no fan of the date and time of this Game: Monday the 24th at 9 p.m. The hell? You can't play this one on a weekend, football be damned?
#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1). The next three U. teams all went undefeated, so I'm ranking by (first) number of victories and (second) vibes. And I will list the U. femaler b-ballers first by virtue of their blowout Wins over Manhattan by 63 and, in what should have been a sterner test, Marquette by 43, both at home. This probably doesn't prove much about this squad's strength, but hey, better to win big than to lose. And they won't lose their only Game this screening Week, early Friday evening vs. The New Jersey Institute Of Technology, or NJIT.
#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -9). After a tough stretch where they lost four in a row, they bounced back by sweeping Notre Dame at Mariucci over the weekend by scores of 3-0 and 4-1. It was a sorely-needed pair or Wins to show this group of young players they can be successful. And yet I'm not quite sure if they can sweep their next opponent, the middle of three the U. gets to face on home ice: Long Island, a program that started up in 2020. I think this is the first time they've ever played the Sharks.
#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). Only played one Game, and that was a 95-50 destruction of Alcorn St. at The Barn on early Saturday afternoon. They will face a, and probably the, test of their non-conference schedule tonight/Wednesday night as they face Missouri for only the fourth time in school history, and this will be a true road test in Columbia, Mo.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). After getting blasted at MSG by 23 to New York, they have feasted on weaker Western Conference competition, beating The Bastard New Orleans Jazz by 40 at home (this is an NBA Cup Game where Margin Of Victory is the tie-breaker), defeating The Bastard Rochester Royals in Sacramento by 27, then eking by said Jazz again in Salt Lake City yesterday/Tuesday by seven. Their Point Guard situation remains a work in progress, and the Defense has yet to show up in any meaningful way.
The T-Wolves begin a four-Game homestand by hosting said Kings and Denver back-to-back, then playing Cooper Flagg and Dallas on Monday.
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -5). They're not awful anymore, I guess, just ... mediocre-minus. Wins over the Islanders and The Bastard Atlanta Flames are sandwiched this screening Week by defeats at Carolina and at home to San Jose, who scored in the Third Period to tie it up and then won it in Overtime, 2-1. That Game sums up the Mild so far this Year: Offensively inept, prone to coughing up leads late in Games as often as getting behind early in Games. This fucking team is going nowhere.
It's a (thankfully) light Week for the Mild: Not too long after a six-tilt homestand, they continue a five-contest homestand playing Anaheim and (Las) Vegas back-to-back this weekend.
#-7: Vikings (Last Week: 0). Blame this Loss on the Offense. This was an eminently winnable Game Sunday against The Bastard Cleveland Browns, but this 27-19 defeat can be explained through those two big fundamentals, Turnovers and Penalties. The Vikes were penalized 13 times for a total of 102 Yards. Maddeningly, eight of those flags were for False Starts. Mind you, they played this Game at U. S. Bank Stadium. False Starts are what the road team does, for fuck's sake.
And what also did them in were that Kickoff Return Fumble by Myles Price and those two Interceptions by J. J. McCarthy. In both picks, McCarthy was throwing it deep on Third Down for Justin Jefferson, who was targeted a dozen times on Sunday. You want confidence in a Quarterback, but that was reckless gunslinging when gaining 40 Yards was not necessary. Instead, the Vikings Defense had to respond on the fly with Baltimore having good Field Position a few times in the Game. They did well, but they were put in bad situations too often because of those Turnovers and Penalties.
I don't know if I said this already, but the Front Office sees this franchise as in a "competitive rebuild." That's kind of an oxymoron, for one. Also, it is hard to do that with a QB in his first season as the starter. McCarthy is showing flashes of brilliance, but he also has shown he can make some bad mistakes. I am willing to give him grace and patience. But how can you call yourselves a Super Bowl contender while also thinking that your Quarterback is allowed to fuck up once in a while? Fuck-ups turn into Losses like Sunday. That makes no sense.
This Sunday they host Chicago, who currently are above them in the Division, perish the thought.
#-8: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -7). In Years past, this once-proud program could have stood toe-to-toe with the fellow titans of the Big Ten. No more. The team had a Week from hell, playing 11th-ranked Wisconsin on the road and top-ranked Nebraska at home, and they did so missing so many key players. And yet it's horrible to see that they took only one Set versus the Badgers and got swept by the Cornhuskers. Nebraska is a wagon; not only are they are undefeated, they haven't dropped a Set since September. But I remember when Minnesota was a much better program than they are now. They still might have lost both, but they sure as shit would not have lost both like this. Stat: Nebraska had never swept the Goofers before Saturday. They sure as fuck did now.
Minnesota is still making the NCAA Tournament. And they will still not go far in the NCAA Tournament. This screening Week: Home to 24th-ranked Penn St. Friday, then at Iowa Sunday.
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