#-1: Gopher softball (Last Week: -1). On the whole, this screening Week has been very lackluster. In fact, of all the local teams in action, I feel best about one that had their season end; that's below.
And yet the clear best team this Week are the Gopher softballers, who won their series at Cowles over Illinois over the weekend (despite getting bludgeoned in the middle Game Saturday, 14-6). They've nosed over .500 in the B1G ... but if you can do that, you shouldn't be losing to smaller programs, and yet the U. did at St. Thomas yesterday/Wednesday afternoon, and by a score of 7-2. Seriously?
They host Ohio St. for a three-Game series. And I find this pretty odd -- the series goes from Saturday to Monday afternoon.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -4). Sure, they're just about assured of a First Round playoff series versus The Bastard North Stars, and they probably won't have home ice, but can you see this team doing anything with the way they're playing right now? They managed to scrape by Florida, beating the two-time defending Stanley Cup champs (who now sit in last place in The Atlantic Division) 3-2 Thursday at Sunrise, but got doubled up at Boston on Saturday, 6-3. This team looks tired, so having several Days off before resuming at home versus Vancouver, The Worst Team In The NHL, could be a nice reset. But they'll be busy with about two Weeks left in the Regular Season; they travel to Ottawa and Detroit this weekend back-to-back, then come back to face Seattle Tuesday. How about some consistency, boys?
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0). The thought that they could spark to life and gain momentum to end the season is rapidly fading, what with a 22-Point ass-kicking at home on Saturday to leaders of the East, Detroit, and no, winning by 30 at Dallas on Monday means little to nothing. They currently sit in sixth place in The Western Conference by 4 1/2 Games above Phoenix, so getting pulled into the Play-In probably is no longer a concern. But Denver is in fourth place by 2 Games, and there are less than two Weeks left in the Regular Season. And now, not only is Anthony Edwards still rounding back into shape (and missing the start of Games because he needed to take a shit), now Jaden McDaniels is out from week to week with an injury. The mojo isn't there with this team, and so the expectation that they're contenders is quickly becoming a delusion.
Holy fuck: They have a five-Game screening Week. It starts punishingly, with visits to Detroit and Philadelphia tonight/Thursday night and tomorrow/Friday night. They come home to face Charlotte Sunday evening, then have another Eastern Conference back-to-back on the road, namely Indiana and Orlando, Tuesday and Wednesday night.
#-4: Twins (NEW SEASON!). Whoo, baseball's back! And whoo-whoo, the Twinks are already 1-4, whoo-whoo!! I could break down the upcoming season, but who cares? They have three established guys of note: Byron Buxton, Joe Ryan, and Pablo Lopez. Lopez is out for the beginning of the season. I and many others would bet good money that both Lopez and Ryan will be traded in the middle of the season. There are a bunch of youngsters trying to figure things out with the big ballclub, none of whom move the needle and capture the imaginations of Twins fans to make them think he's the next Kirby Puckett. I swear that the Pohlads could sell the team right now to someone in Nashville and we would be like, "See ya! Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out!" So who cares what they're going to do now?
And tomorrow's/Friday's Home Opener might not start due to rain! No one's going to show up to see them because they suck, and now more people might not show up because they might not even play it! Serves them right this could be the most embarrassing home opener in the history of the franchise!!! Whoo-whoo-whoo!!!
#-5: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3). Got swept at home to Ohio St. Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!!! The baseballers are now 2-7 in-conference, so this season feels lost already.
This Week: At Iowa for three, then have a one-off vs. South Dakota St. at Siebert Field on Wednesday. The weird thing is all times for First Pitch is listed at two Minutes after the Hour. Two? Is this some sort of promotional thing?
#-Infinity (tie): Gopher women's basketball and Gopher wrestling (Last Week, respectively: Positive Numbers and Re-Entry!). OK, so the Gopher women's b-ball team got routed by UCLA Friday by 24 in Sacramento. Not saying it's not a big deal -- all seasons that end short of a championship are, in its most distilled essence, failures -- but we all knew it was going to happen. And like I said last Week, this is what I could have hoped for for this program before the Year began, and what I expected as the team finally founds itself during conference play. The recruits Lindsay Whalen brought in, Amaya Battle most notably, were finally developed because of Dawn Plitzuweit, and this season the results came through. So this is the proof of concept that there is a plan and it could work. These are the roots from which hopefully blooms even stronger and better recruits and yields greater outcomes for next Year and beyond. You never know what will happen, but at the risk of getting ahead of myself, this program is finally looking good for the immediate future.
In the meantime I forgot to talk about the NCAA (men's) wrestling championships back on March 21. Minnesota as a whole finished an irrelevant ninth place. But maybe I shouldn't be so hard on the entire team; Penn St. won the title again, so as of now, every other school is as irrelevant as the U.
But, one Golden Gopher won an individual championship. Max McEnelly, out of Waconia, won the NCAA title at 184 Pounds. And he did it as the third-ranked wrestler at the weight and upsetting the top-ranked wrestler, Rocco Welsh out of, natch, Penn St., 4-3. According to the U. athletic department, McEnelly's individual title is the 25th in Gopher wrestling history (won by 19 Gophers total); it's the first individual championship for Minnesota since the great Gable Steveson won back-to-back at Heavyweight in 2021 and 2022; and it's the first title won at a weight other than Heavyweight since Jayson Ness at 133 Pounds back in 2010. At least that's something.
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