Is It Time To Criticize My Co-Worker?

So I've been, for the past couple months at least, in a routine for my workweek.  The first half I am in The Fourth Department, where I get to sleep in late but have so much shit that comes my way that I usually stay past eight hours and sometimes, like yesterday/Wednesday, need to stay almost all ten.  The back half I am in The Main Department, which, and I maybe could do a blog post about it, is starting to bore me to tears.

I am splitting time in The Fourth Department with the new person.  Actually she's not that new now (and she actually moved here from another department; in fact, I think she's worked there longer than I have), but she is now up to speed back there and so takes the back half of the week.  Wednesdays, BTW, used to be hers back there, but for the time being it'll be mine because she is training in her fourth and final department.  Pretty soon, she'll be full versed in everything, just like me.

She's solid.  Can't say I know her all that well, but she's bright, dedicated, and easy to get along with.  I like her.  I really do!  That being said ... I don't know why, maybe it's because I'm in a mood, or maybe I'm suffering from PTSD after last week's colonoscopy, but I've noticed some things about her that irk me as we pass stuff between us.  They are, in order of most to least annoying:

• There is a function by which we go into a software database we have and record, for each form we come across, the information we need to retrieve and how we are attempting to retrieve it (as in did we e-mail or fax, and who the person we tried to contact is).  Without saying too much (because it's hard to describe and I don't want to bore you with the details), it's easy to not do this job.  In fact, it's easiest to not do it until you get the info you need; then, you can just go to this screen and type up all the information.  But that's not what that's necessarily there for.  You open up this screen/record and it stays "open" because you haven't gotten the information yet.  That's OK; in fact, someone else -- say, for example, the person relieving you in The Fourth Department -- will need to know where we both are in the process of this retrieval if the contact hasn't given us what we want yet.  Without this screen, your work is incomplete.  And yet it looks as though she doesn't do this.  I do, however, and I have make sure that the ones for which the forms aren't complete get this open record up so we all know where in the info-gathering process we are.  And if we don't get the info back I could, well, "dummy" up a screen that I open and then immediately close.  But that's still work, and that's rudimentary work that is so easy the person who initially touched this form should be doing, not me.
• Another problem with passing this job between us (and the more I complain about it here on Wailing And Failing, the more I think I should talk to my supervisor and boss about my complaints) is that when people do e-mail us back with the information we need, he or she may be sending it back to us when we're not in The Fourth Department.  We usually try and make sure a copy of our e-mail CC's our shared department e-mail address, but sometimes the respondent does not hit Reply All.  So, what we are supposed to do is once we see this e-mail, we forward it to our general dept. address.  Unfortunately, some of these are secured messages (I understand the need for them, I still hate them), and so we can't forward them because the other person doesn't (or at least shouldn't) have the password of the other person's account in order to access that secure e-mail.  So what I do is open it up, print it out, go back to The Fourth Department, pick up that physical copy, scan it into my e-mail address, give the physical copy to her so she can staple it to the copy of the form for which it's for (you still with me?) and then tell her I will forward her an image of that same e-mail because we need to put that image in another record-keeping database we maintain.  Well, I don't think she does that, at least on a regular basis.  Instead, she forwards the secure e-mail I can't open, and then e-mails me a copy of the secure e-mail she has opened up.  That's frustrating because I sometimes reply to that first e-mail, and when she tells basically tells me, "Oh, we have the answer here," I've wasted some time and maybe annoyed a person who has to send the same information twice.  What I do is better because I am more thorough about the information I pass along so that nothing has to be repeated.
• When she cleans up the desk before she leaves on the weekend, I believe she spins the mousepad upside-down.  I come in on Monday and I see the pad with the, you know, pad side on top.  It's supposed to be the other way around.  That pad, or bump, is where you rest your wrist so as to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome.  Why in the hell is she spinning around the pad?  Does she not understand what the pad is for?  Does she think carpal tunnel syndrome is a hoax?  Is she anti-carpalite?  And even if she is, she must see other people use an ergonomic mouse pad correctly, right?  So why can't she just leave it the way it should be, with that rest/bump/pad down where the wrist is?  The more I think about it, the more freaked out by it I am.  That's fucking weird!

You know, instead of bitching about this to my blog, maybe I should take it up with her, or our supervisor, or our boss.  That's the mature way of handling things, right?

I made a point of getting on my laptop before 2 a.m. so I could do my daily spin on Zynga Poker and stay on Day 7/400% bonus.  I am fairly sure I was on there by 10:30 p.m., 11:30 at the latest.

I didn't get on to Facebook until just now, around 2:15 a.m., and of course I'm too damn late and have reset myself all the way back down to Day 1/10%.  I kept it up at Day 7/400% for weeks.

Stupid me.  Stupid fucking lazy me.  There were a couple things I needed to do on my computer, sure, but as soon as I turned my lap on, I completely forgot about the one thing I turned it on for.

I feel as though whenever I have time to burn, like the hours before I feel like going to bed, I will not do anything I need to do.  Now, when I have a deadline, or I have this many minutes before I, say, go to work (like I did with the blog post just before this, which I did before work yesterday/Tuesday morning), I'll make sure I do what I set out to do.  If I have all the time in the world, though, boy, any to-do list is neuralized out of my mind.

What the fuck have I been doing the past three fucking hours?

Thirsty AF For Money

So there's one stripper, bless her heart, who continues to both stage and promote house parties.  I won't link back to her because I gotta go, but I have blog posted in the past about going to her parties just to see her, only for her to be gone and having these scary, brokedown strangers sticking around instead.

I used to be upset, but now I don't really care.  Add to it that 1) I work late on Mondays, the day she usually hosts these stripper parties and 2) I am trying to save money, and frankly, seeing her and attempting to get down is no longer a priority.

Still, she texts me to say, "Hey, there's a party this Monday," as there was yesterday.  And I had no intention of going, but I wait until the day of to say, "No, can't, busy with work," or, "Sorry, can't make it."  She at least is good in saying, "That's OK," which sort of makes me feel bad that to give her the impression that I'm trying to make it to her parties.  Well, I would if I ever could see her, but seeing as though I haven't seen her in the flesh since before the pandemic, I no longer hang on to that possibility.

She texted me just now that she's working a strip club south of the Metro tonight.  No way I'm going there because it's too damn far.  Man, she's thirty as fuck for money.  I'll tell her I can't.  I'll make up an excuse.  And I'll tell her that excuse, oh, some time tonight.

Bad Driver: PRG 112

I was just minding my own business going south on East River Road (which I had to take because 94 was closed for the weekend and I wanted to set the "Loti" pencil, a storm-murdered tree that was turned into a very realistic, blown-up-Claes Oldenburg-style pencil on the front lawn of a guy who lives in a tony part of Minneapolis) when this fucker in a black Jeep cuts right in front of me, even though there was no one within a half a mile of us, even though there was no turn he (I'm assuming it's a he) just caught in time.  And I'm even more insulted when he turns on his signal only after his whole ass is in my lane.

I so totally want to report this asshole, but I know this is something that doesn't rise to the level of road rage driving.  But this motherfucker didn't give enough clearance before cutting in front of me; that has to be illegal, right?

Oh, by the way, the occasion (on Saturday, BTW) was that the owner of the house with the tree was "sharpening" the pencil.  He started it last year and apparently he's trying to make it an annual thing.  But there was no real sharpening, dammit.  Someone just put a pointy "tip" on top of the "dull" pencil and acted as though they sharpened it.  They constructed a giant student sharpener -- you know, the rectangular one, usually red, you carried with you if you were Gen X.  They put it on top of the stalk, and two guys circled around it as if to "sharpen" it.  But it was all a lie.  I really thought some guy was going to take a chainsaw and make the top pointy.  That would be cool.  What I saw instead was A LIE!!!

Sorry, Green Insect

A green insect hopped on to me after driving home from DQ (went to the library first to do some stock stuff for my parents -- after stopping by the gas station for a black cherry Pepsi).  Second one that hopped on to me.  Don't know what happened to the first, but I allowed it to stow away as I drove off.

This second one stayed on my finger.  I took a long time to attempt to coax it on to the hood of my car, and then the garbage bin, any place besides me, but no dice.  Finally, I got it to hop on to a leaf.  I thought it was going to be OK, but at first he had trouble getting all its feet on to the leaf; either it was afraid or it got caught on something.

Then, inexplicably, it swung underneath the leaf.  At first I thought it meant to do that, but then I feared that it felt it was too heavy for the leaf it was on and keeled under.  I tried saving it with the temple of my sunglasses, but it didn't take.  Finally, I bent down to look underneath the leaf.  And it wasn't there.

Probably fell to its death.  Tried searching for it on the ground, though, but I couldn't see anything green down there.  No, I didn't look all that hard.  But I still feel bad.  Should have chosen a leaf closer to the ground, or the ground itself.  Or, considering its probably fate, I should've done what most people did and killed it myself.  Don't know how cruel that would be from what probably happened to it

Sorry, green insect.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  My God, the American League Central is a sorry-ass Division.  But the Twins remain the only team who's doing ... oh, a little above average in it.  They remain the only ballclub above .500 there, and they went 4-3 this Week, dropping the rubber Game at home to Toronto (they lost, 3-0, and former Twink Jose Berrios got the Win in front of the squad he wanted to ditch, boo), but turned around and won a three-Game series in Houston.  And they have taken two-of-three in a four-Game set at Target Field vs. The Cleveland Guardians, who remain in third place in the AL Central behind, still, Detroit, who sit 3 1/2 Games behind Minnesota for the lead.

There are players on the team not pulling their weight.  Jorge Lopez continues to pull up the rear in the Bullpen (although he always makes himself available in the locker room for The Media, which is something I admire).  Meanwhile, Aaron Gleeman in The Athletic had a breakdown advocating for the organization to move on from Max Kepler.  The Twins were open to trading him, but no franchise met their asking price, so he is staying in Right Field, where he still has a great arm but (along with Byron Buxton and Carlos Correa) is weighing down the Lineup.  Meanwhile, the way to a permanent spot in the majors is blocked for the next two guys in the pipeline, Trevor Larnach and Matt Wallner, both of whom the squad feel has much better upside.  The entire situation could be alleviated if Kepler agrees to play more in Center, but he has told the team he won't play that position anymore.  Well, frankly, if he doesn't agree to do that, I would just fucking cut him.  The bats on this club could use a shake-up.

After playing the fourth and final showdown in the series against Cleveland, they'll be on the road the rest of the screening Week, with three in St. Petersburg versus The Tampa Bay Rays (The Best Team In Major League Baseball) starting on Tuesday and then three in Toronto beginning Friday.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -3).  Hey, they finally won!  Well, they endured three Losses to begin the Week (to Las Vegas, Dallas and Connecticut) to start the season at 0-6, something the franchise has done only once before.  But in Washington, DC last/Saturday night, they finally got off the schneid by beating the Mystics, 80-78.  And this one was a nail-biter; Minnesota led by ten going into the Fourth Quarter, but the Mystics managed to tie it up late.  But Tiffany Mitchell put back her own miss with three Seconds left in the Game to win it.

Surprisingly, they're not last in the WNBA; that goes to once-proud Seattle, who, without the retired Sue Bird and Breanna Stewart deciding to get hers and super-teaming it in New York, is 0-4.  (I just noticed that the Lynx have played seven Games, more than any other team.  Go figure.)  Still don't think they'll make the playoffs, and I still don't think they should make the playoffs, either.

After a hectic four matchups this past screening Week, this screening Week will be much lighter: At the Liberty Wednesday, home to Aliyah Boston Friday.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: -2).  Gave up a late Game-winning Goal to Austin's Sebastian Driussi to lose on the road Wednesday, 2-1, then came back to score in the 89th last/Saturday night to tie Toronto at Allianz.  But the big story was the return of Emanuel Reynoso.  He was named to the bench versus TFC, and in the 65th Minute, seven Minutes after Lorenzo Insigne scored on a piss-poor giveaway in the offensive half, Adrian Heath broke glass and put in Bebelo.  And in his short time, even though he may probably not be at 100% fitness, he made a difference.  His sending-in caused the chaos that eventually allowed substitute Kervin Arriaga to kick the ball that bumpered around some Toronto defenders and into the net.  It was one of those nights where that was the only way the Loons were going to score.

I do feel better now that Reynoso, whose prolonged absence still hasn't been explained, now seems to have his head back into playing for MNUFC.  But we still have a striker problem.  We still have a motivation problem; the XI didn't seem to play with any urgency and character until they went down a Goal.  They know they can play aggressively from the first whistle, right?  And I don't know how much Reynoso can help on the defensive end; I blame both the Game-winning tally for Austin FC and the sole Goal for Toronto FC on the D.

They have won only twice this Year at home, one of which was in league play.  Conversely, they have won four times on the road.  And they'll be on the road (for MLS action at least) the rest of June; they're in Montreal Saturday.  Hey, maybe they'll win there.

This might be an addendum blog post to the previous two blog posts; that'd be a first.  Anyway, I kind of remembered something during my colonoscopy prep, if I am not mistaken: In all the times I was pissing out of my ass (sorry, I'm using that revolting phrase again) starting on Thursday evening, I don't remember pissing through my, you know, pisshole.  That seems weird.  Shouldn't urine go out through my penis?  If I am right, all my effluvia went out through my butt, and I find that strange.  Can bodily waste be shunted either completely frontwards or completely backwards, like a railroad switch that's in my intestine?  If so, how did my body decide it was all going out through my ass while I was going through my colonoscopy preparation?

You know, I'm not tired, but maybe I should go to bed anyway.

Colonoscopy Thoughts ... If I Can Remember Them

So the colonoscopy went fine.  I received a clean bill of health.  Even got pictures.  Wanna see?

The pictures (and by the way, I appreciate receiving a report after every visit I get a clinic.  I don't read much of what I get after I see my doctor, but in something like this, I like that they're attesting that they found no polyps and there is nothing of concern, and therefore I don't need to get another one of these dastardly things for a decade) are on the grainy side.  I though they'd be more resolute.  Thought they'd be bigger, too.  Frankly, I was thinking that a clean bill of health means that my colon would be, uh, totally a light pink and no bumps and stuff.  I don't think I saw that.  In a couple pictures it looks like there are black spots on my large intestine.  That doesn't look bad.  Maybe it's the photos, which is why I wish they were bigger and better.  But if they say I'm good, well, I'm good, I guess.

I went under.  I asked the doctor just before the scope how unconscious I would be.  He said that I should be awake enough to answer directions.  He also said that if I go out, I am getting more sedative than they intended.  Well, I don't remember anything after he put Vaseline in my asshole.  I could have answered instructions.  Hell, for all I know, he could've told me to sing "Yankee Doodle" and I could've done it.  In other words, if I was awake enough to breathe deep or shift my body, I don't remember.

I don't remember him giving me a post-op debrief, either, even though he was supposed to.  Or maybe he did and I don't remember 'cause I was too groggy.  I remember putting on my underwear after the nurse told me to try and sit up by hanging my legs off the side of my bed.  I don't remember if I still had my gown on, however, because I don't remember taking it off in order to put my clothes on.  Yeah, the more I write about not remembering the operation even though I wasn't supposed to, the more paranoid I am about what I actually did, or what actually happened.

With that being said, I'm home now, safe and, assuming the clean bill of health is correct, healthy enough to not go through that colonoscopy crap again.  I'm catching up on my sleep.  Possibly as much as the number the preparation mixture did on my body and bowels, the disruption to my sleep routine, particularly waking up at 2:45 to drink the second mix before my 6:45 op, is the most onerous part of going through this colonoscopy.  But staying in until lunchtime tomorrow should get me straight, and if it doesn't, I can sleep in Sunday, too.

My God, I've Been Pissing Out Of My Ass

Just got out of the toilet where, for either the fifth or sixth time (lost track) since I began this clear liquid diet and colonoscopy preparation this evening, I have been evacuating my bowels.  I'll be honest: The first four or five times I felt I had my bowels in control because I was shitting and pissing, and that was it.

This last time, however, scares me.  It was like a vicious attack of diarrhea.  I have had that before, and I have spent maybe an hour on the throne where my organs felt like they were being liquidated and then excreted through my rectum.  But now it feels as though it's not going to stop.  I would have an attack, I thought it would be done, and then, "Ope!  It's coming again!"  I actually got dressed once and was about to open the door when I realized I had to go again.

What frustrates me this time around are two things.  First, the bowels have become all liquid.  That's good in the sense that this was expected after I downed all that Bisacodyl and Gatorade; in fact, if I were still pooping poop this late in the day, that would be a big problem.   But "pissing out of my ass," as my brother describes it, isn't a good feeling.  My colon shot out my liquid excrement not straight down but, I think, at an angle, so it started hitting my anus.  I had to clean all over my butt, and I hate that.  I might take a quick bath so I can wash my tushy again.

The other thing that frustrates me?  I have this incessant, primordial fear that I will need to go as Mother takes me to the hospital.  Will I shit myself ... well, piss/shit myself?  Hope to God I don't, but like I said, I don't feel as in control as I did earlier in the evening.

Yeah, I want to get this over with.  This is painful and embarrassing.  And I realize I've been saying "pissing out of my ass" a lot, and I want to stop typing that, let alone doing that.

My Goddamn Meddling Fucking Mother

Mother volunteered to mix the mixture I need to drink today.  I told her she didn't have to, that I could do it.  She told me how much Gatorade I need for my mixture.  I told her wrong.

I was chilling in my bedroom trying to listen to Stephanie Miller.  I was going to show her the instructions as to how much Gatorade I need for this initial mixture.  I was afraid she was going to ignore me, and sure enough, when I went out to the kitchen to show her that, uh, I was wrong, and it's 16 oz. of Gatorade less, I saw her wrapping up these measuring cups.  She did.  She fucking did it.

Yeah, I made a mistake.  But I told her I was going to do it after I check the instructions.  She fucking meddled again.  My Fucking Father does this all the time and now My Fucking Mother does it.  Why can't they meddle on shit I need them for, like money?  I have six hours in which to make up this mixture, and because she "loves" me, she doesn't do what I say?

Oh yeah -- when I told her the mix is wrong, she said that she was right, she knew how much Gatorade to use, but "I don't listen to her."  Get the fuck outta here.  That might be more triggering to me than the fact she did what I asked her not to do.  The projection is such a trigger to me.  Fucking hate it.

I have to tell the nurse about this, as much as to blow off steam as to make sure this isn't a fatal mistake.