For the first time in a long time, I ate something other than wings at Hooters the evening before I go stripclubbin'. I just didn't feel like eating wings, so I opted for something very slightly cheaper: A hot dog with all the works, with a small cup of potato salad on the side. I was thinking to myself, "Why am I buying a hot dog for seven bucks when I can eat it at home for a lot cheaper?" But, I had popcorn at the theater before, and I don't know about the way the theater in your neighborhood does it, but a regular size of popcorn is huge. Fucking huge.
I could've downed a pile of 10 wings after gorging my mouth with popcorn, but there was another thing besides eating too much: A time crunch going to the stripclub afterward. I knew I wasn't going to devour wings, and if I'm so not willing to eat it in a timely manner, I'll be staying a lot past what I should. But a hot go? Everybody likes a hot dog! So I ate it.
Was it good? Well, it was a hot dog, so yes. But, the hot dog was a lot smaller than the bun it came in, and the relish wasn't spread on, but in the form of an individual packet. Classy, Hooters, classy. Well, at least my bill was a buck less than it would have been if I had ordered wings. Eating too much, time crunch, cheaper -- three reasons why I switched it up at Hooters this time around.
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Money was also a big factor in how I spent my time and money at the King of Diamonds, the strip club I went to after Hooters. I get eight or ten dances from my All-Time Favorite after I ride the tip rails.
This time, however, was different. She wasn't busy, like she usually is. Instead, she was talking to one of the other strippers. It was close to the entrance of the club, so it wouldn't've been logical to just avoid her. We said hi and, to make sure I didn't lose her to another guy for the night, I switched it up and got private tables from her first, planning on getting one more dance for the road right when I leave.
After spending $100 on her, I go to the rail. I'm there for a while, giving a dollar to every stripper. However, after some time, there's a mix-up in the rotation of dancers. For two consecutive stage sets there was no one on-stage. This place is notorious for girls dancing late, but they had at least showed up eventually. Seeing not one but two no-shows was a sign for me that I should not wait until I gave tips to all the girls working that night and just sit away from the rail.
That's where the girls started to hustle me, dammit. There are some nice ones, but for the first time in a long time at the KoD I said no to a couple. I did say yes to a black chick who could flex her titties, but although she was sexy as fuck, I found her to be a little false. Plus, I like to ask questions to get to know a stripper, and she didn't like that.
Meanwhile, I didn't feel like getting a beer at the KoD because I already got one at Hooters, and tonight, that was enough. Usually I get one at Hooters and one at the club, but I had more than enough beer for one night -- and besides, pop is cheaper. The Coke/Pepsi that I had tonight was so refreshing. (But like Hooters, they were stingy; it was mostly ice, and after several big gulps I pretty much emptied the glass.)
Unfortunately, not only were the girls hustling in my seat away from the rails, the waitress was, too. If I had just sat alongside the stage, the waitress wouldn't've bothered to fight through the customers to get to me. But I was in sight for this girl, and she asked me if I wanted another drink. I said yes -- but only to a Sprite. And I slammed what little beverage there was very, very quickly.
My ATF was close by but preoccupied, so I decided to cut my losses and say goodbye to her while she was dancing with another guy and leave. I do that, then go to the bathroom, and then hear the song is ending. I leave the restroom to see just one more time if she's free ... and as luck would have it, the guy was done getting dances with her. So I quickly swoop in, take back my quick goodbye and have that one dance for the road before saying farewell good and proper.
The only problem? I didn't spend as little as I decided I would midway through my time in the club. Now I keep wondering whether the $200 I got tonight will last me through the long weekend.
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