#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -1). A 3-2 week. But about that third win ... it happened in the first game of Thursday's twi-night doubleheader with Ohio St. With the scored tied at 2 in the bottom of the ninth, men on first and second and one out, Troy Larson hit a cue shot off the Buckeye shortstop, which caromed into centerfield. With that 3-2 walkoff (I hate that term "walkoff," and I don't know why ... I should say "game-ending" instead) win, the Gophers secured a spot in the Big Ten Tournament.
Their regular season finale against Ohio St. will determine whether the Goofs get second place in the conference. They're currently a half-game behind Illinois and tied with Purdue in third. That's important because the conference tournament comprises of only six teams, and the top two teams get to skip the first day, Wednesday. Unfortunately, the game that was supposed to start last night was postponed due to in-and-out rain. It was rescheduled for noon today, or six minutes ago ... but the steady showers I hear outside are the same ones they're hearing at Target Field because they're delayed yet again.
#-2: Twins (Last Week: -Infinity). Did it have to take Harmon Killebrew, arguably The Greatest Twin Ever, to die in order for this team to stop sucking? Apparently so; the day he passed (by the way, that was quick, wasn't it? There was an announcement that he's stopping cancer treatment on Friday, and he's gone four days later? It was probably planned that the statement would be released well along his, for lack of a better word, "journey" towards the end, I guess.), the Twinks ended a nine-game losing streak by beating Seattle, 2-1. That adds up to three. Three was the Killer's number. Coincidence? Defintely so. (Sorry, making fun of people who read too much into things.)
That actually began a three-game winning streak for the team, including a mini-sweep of Oakland in Oakland, before they attended Killebrew's memorial service in Peoria, Ariz. Friday morning. They then lost to the Diamondbacks, 8-7. It's as if they can't win unless they're in shock over an icon's passing. They finish up their interleague series this weekend, then fly home to do three with Seattle, host a public memorial to Harmon Thursday (an off-day), then begin a weekend series against the Los Angels of Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Angels Of. ...
#-3: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!). The curse of the franchise drafting "n+1" in an "n" draft continues. OK, let's be real: There is no one guy in this draft. In fact, this could be the shittiest draft since 2000, where the best guy in that class is Kenyon Martin. It could be the worst ever.
Still, there is consensus coming around one guy: Duke Point Guard Kyrie Irving. Jonny Flynn is not the answer, and Ricky Rubio would rather eat Osama bin Laden's shit than play for the Woofs (don't blame him), so General Manager David Kahn needs a PG, even though he's drafted a dozen of them the past two years.
Since they had the worst record in the league, they had the best chance to get the #1 pick. But not only has, like, only three teams with the worst record that year actually get the top draft pick, but the Woofie Dogs have frequently slid down. And that they did -- to one spot, with Cleveland, post-LeBron, getting the first overall.
Well, fuck this team. Really, fuck them. You might as well move the club. Who is the second best player in the draft, Derrick Williams out of Arizona? He demands to be a Small Forward, and Minnesota has a bunch of Power Forwards that should be threes. Who else is there? Kahn might as well trade the pick for a veteran player who'll at least make this team professional, or sell it for money to improve Target Center after the downtown deal to refurbish the Metrodome for the Vikings fell through. Seriously, they just shouldn't pick at all.
By the way, the things Kahn said ... well, I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I'm not going to say he's completely crazy. One thing about this hubbub I'm sure of; most of the people who are bitching that they want Kahn fired for his post-lottery fixing comments only want to because they hate Kahn and will use anything to get him shitcanned. I understand the sentiment, but you goddamn well know that if this team was a more successful one, you'd let him skate. Hypocrisy, plain and simple. And by the way, it does seem like a coincidence that the Cavaliers won the pick, doesn't it? ...
#-4: Wild (Re-Entry!). Derek Boogaard's tox report came in. The Boogeyman did something foolish, and fatal: He chased down oxycodone with alcohol. With his death, it's assured: He replaces Marian Gaborik in fans' minds as The Greatest Wild Player Ever. I mean that.
No comments:
Post a Comment