#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2). Swept St. Thomas at Ridder Arena over the weekend by scores of 4-2 and 5-1. But still, how in the fuck did they lose at home to Penn St. the Week before?
Nothing else to say. Well, besides that the team is playing the second of three straight in-state schools, Minnesota State-Mankato, in a home-and-away (here Friday, there Saturday).
Home to Edmonton, then at Nashville and Colorado.
#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). The third-ranked Gophers split a pair at Ohio St. (ranked eleventh at the time, ranked eighth now) over the weekend, and what's notable is that both Games were routs -- the Buckeyes keelhauled the U. 5-1 on Friday, and Minnesota returned the favor (and then some) Saturday by a score of 6-1. Getting their asses beat on the road to a very good team isn't great; kicking ass at the same arena is pretty good.
Host Notre Dame for two this weekend.
#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: 0). So after routing Rutgers at Williams last Wednesday by 26, they reached the Associated Press Top 25 for the first time since before the pandemic (2019 to be specific) at #24. Fantastic! At 16-1 at the time, bracketologist Charlie Creme seems to think they are moving closer to safely being in the NCAA Tournament. And not the stupid-ass Play-In Games, I'm talking about the actual tournament of 64.
But we fans also know that the trip to Maryland, ranked eighth in the AP Poll, last/Tuesday night was going to be a gut check. How good is this team really? Well, they lost, 99-92, but yes, you can call this a moral victory. Previous Golden Gopher iterations would've been blasted out the gym by the Terrapins, but this club won the First and Fourth Quarters. They won't be winning it all, but these women can ball, and they can hang against some good opponents. Northwestern is not one of them, but they get to visit the Wildcats Sunday afternoon, so that should be a Win for them.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). Road victories over Orlando and Washington bookend an extremely frustrating 127-125 loss to The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies at Target Center Saturday. The Woofie Dogs led by four with 1:41 left and allowed Memphis to score the final six Points to steal it, the last two of which started with a Steal of Julius Randle.
This club is mired in eighth in the West. And instead of maturing as a leader, Anthony Edwards continues to get fined for obscenities. There's a bad vibe surrounding this franchise right now, and every screening Week that passes without a string of Wins that comes from this unit locking in on both ends of the court only increases the toxicity. It's not getting better, and time is running out.
This Week: Home to The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors, at MSG, home to red-hot Cleveland (Cleveland??), at Memphis.
#-6: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). I don't remember Nebraska ever being a power in wrestling (even though they are in a part of the country where you would think wrestling is popular), but they were ranked sixth in the nation as they hosted the U. Saturday and, lo and behold, the Goofers (ranked eighth at least at the time) lost, 21-13. Minnesota won only three of the ten Matches, but after Gable Steveson (ranked #1 in Heavyweight again) technically fell the Cornhuskers' Harley Andrews, the Goofs were leading, 13-9 ... only for Nebraska to win the final four Matches comprising of the lightest weights (125, 133, 141 and 149 lbs.) to take the Dual. Host Michigan Sunday afternoon.
#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -5). It gets sadder, and yet more predictable. Got annihilated in Wisconsin by 21 Friday, then lost at Maryland Monday by six. Yep, by only six, and the Gopher men's b-ball Twitter account said, "Fought to the end." Sure, they fought, but they are also winless in conference play at 0-6. Now, they get Michigan at The Barn Thursday and visit Iowa on Tuesday. Could they win one of those two? Yeah, no.
#-Infinity: Vikings (Last Week: -4). I don't know what to say, or else anything different from what I say when the Vikings or, to be honest, any Minnesota team that looks like they might have a chance of winning it all and finally freeing this goddamned state of its misery of loserdom lets us down again. I don't think this is worse than any of the NFC Championship Game Losses, but Monday night's beatdown by The Bastard Cleveland Rams (in the home of The Bastard Chicago-by-way-of-St. Louis Cardinals because of the L. A. wildfires) is particularly disappointing because in these last two defeats that have ended their season, to Detroit and the Rams, they looked absolutely nothing like the juggernaut that went 14-3 in the regular season and had many Vikes fans (me included) that they had a chance, small but real, that this would be The Year.
It wasn't. The Offensive Line, which I thought held up really well (especially after the season-ending injury to blindside Tackle Christian Darrisaw), was absolutely fucking shredded by the Rams, who sacked Sam Darnold nine goddamn times. I don't know how prime Tom Brady could produce at all when you're being battered like that, but apparently Darnold didn't hold up his end by missing receivers all over the place. (I say "apparently" because I turned off the TV shortly after the Second Quarter started and Will Reichard put Minnesota on the board, making the score 10-3. I didn't like the vibe of the Game, and I was tired, so I took an hour-long nap, and then when I woke up, I still didn't turn on the TV. I made the right choice.) He was so good because, according to what I read on The Athletic, his timing was impeccable. The incessant pass rush by the Lions and Rams destroyed Darnold's timing and thus his game. We saw none of this over the previous 16 Games, but it reared its ugly head when the Games mattered most.
It was more than two Weeks ago that Darnold was thrown into the air by his teammates in the Vikings locker room after they beat Green Bay at U. S. Bank Stadium. There was a crescendo of talk from Purple Faithful asking whether Darnold actually is The One, and that the squad should actually trade J. J. McCarthy and keep Darnold. You are hearing none of that talk now, which I find funny; we toxic fans would treat a player like #1 one week, then #2 the next. Maybe we should not get too high or too low until the season's over, huh?
With all that said, I don't think Darnold should come back unless he accepts a contract that underplays his performance this season, to be honest. I really thought the savings from his contract as opposed to Kirk Cousins's contract bolstered a Defense that really needed it, and was really good (well, until the past two Games, but still). But the O-Line still needs work, it turns out, and there's a bevy of Free Agents, and who knows how many will come back? Why not punt on next season, start McCarthy, and save the money you would usually funnel to the QB position and instead spread it out amongst a team that still needs talent and depth?
Yeah, I understand that we were supposed to punt on 2024. Yes, this is a surprising season. But my fundamental point still stands: Any team's season that ends short of a title is a failure. You can say that this team overachieved. But that means that expectations change during the season. I can be upset that a surprising team loses in a postseason very few people thought they would even reach before the regular season began. And I certainly be mad that the Vikings organization will go another year without winning the Super Bowl.
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