Wednesday, March 5, 2025

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -7).  I really thought the Loons were going to drop their home opener to FC Montreal Saturday night.  We have had a good stretch of weather where the temperature was well above freezing ... except for Saturday.  It was warm before then and it was warm after, but a pustule of cold air went over the Twin Cities that day.  No matter; Tani Oluwaseyi's attempt on goal found the bottom of the right (?) boot of Kelvin Yeboah and he stuck it home to give MNUFC the 1-0 Win.  Not bad -- and good enough to take the top spot in this Week's WMNSS.

At San Jose Saturday.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5).  I don't know how good Arizona St. is supposed to be this Year, but they are a traditional blueblood in college baseball.  So I think it's a remarkable achievement that these guys took two-of-three from the Sun Devils -- and at Tempe, Ariz.  They followed that up with a 16-4 quadrupling of Wisconsin-Milwaukee last/Tuesday night.  That's the way to fly into conference play, namely a three-Game set at Das Bank v.2.0 against Purdue this weekend.

#-3: Gopher softball (Last Week: -3).  They hosted their own tournament this weekend: The Gopher Indoor Classic at U. S. Bank Stadium.  And they went 4-1 over the weekend, their only Loss being ... to St. Thomas?  Yeah, the Tommies beat them Sunday afternoon, 8-6 in eight Innings.  That is not good, especially when seeing that the squads the U. beat are North Dakota St. (twice), Wagner and Miami (OH).

This is their final non-con screening Week.  They participate in the LSU Round Robin this weekend down in Baton Rouge, La., where they play host LSU and South Alabama two tilts apiece.  Then they mosey on over to Beaumont, Tex., where they play apparently a neutral-site contest vs. McNeese St.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -8).  Defeated the Cornhuskers in Lincoln, Neb., Saturday afternoon, 67-65, on a Three-Pointer by Brennan Rigsby with 4.1 Seconds to go.  This is a stunning fact: Five of the Gophers' seven conference victories are Quad 1 ones.  That should be interpreted as a sign that Ben Johnson, despite his still evolving tenure as Head Coach, gets his players motivated to play a big opponent.  That stat's kind of mind-blowing.

This is the final Week of the regular season for men's college basketball.  They host Wisconsin tonight/Wednesday night, they finish off 2024-5 at Rutgers Sunday afternoon.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -6).  Started the screening Week with getting their asses beat twice (at Utah Thursday, 6-1, and at Colorado Friday, 5-2).  Ended it with a pair of one-Goal victories (1-0 Sunday at home to Boston, 4-3 last/Tuesday night in Seattle).  Joel Eriksson Ek's return to playing seems more implausible by the day, and the continued blackout as to how (or even if) Kirill Kaprizov is healing from his injury is a puzzling but major concern.  Still, even though this team is treading water, they're still in playoff position -- and still might make one more move before the NHL Trade Deadline.

This Week: At Vancouver Friday, then home to Pittsburgh and The Bastard Quebec Nordiques.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Like the Wild, the Timberwolves also had a 2-2 Week where they also lost their first two matchups (at The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers and The Bastard New Orleans Jazz) and then also won their last two matchups (at Phoenix, home to Philadelphia).  But they remain stubbornly in Play-In position -- seventh place in the Western Conference, now a half-Game behind The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors for sixth.  That's why they slide below the local professional hockey club for this Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.

This Week: At Charlotte and Miami, then home to San Antonio.

#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: 0).  Finished the regular season losing in Overtime and then defeating the Nittany Lions at Penn St. over the weekend.  Then, The Big Ten Conference says that the Gophers and Michigan St. both won a share of the regular season conference title.  If the conference tournament has the Spartans listed as the 1-Seed and the only team granted a bye, and if Minnesota is listed as the 2-Seed and needing to play a best-of-three Quarterfinal series at home versus Notre Dame this weekend, then there is no sharing.  The Gophers fucking lost the regular season title.  Come on, the time for yellow participation ribbons is fucking over.

#-8: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  They advance to the WCHA Final Faceoff again (this season it's in Duluth after winning their First Round series over Minnesota State - Mankato.  But they had to do it in three Games because, my God, in yet another example of how this program is far from the indomitable power they were in their championship days, they lost Game 2 to the Mavericks in Double OT.  I want to say that's the first time MSU-Mankato has beaten the U. at Ridder.  They're playing Ohio St. Friday afternoon and they're a lock to reach the NCAAs, but if they can't sweep the Mavs at home, how in the fuck are they going to win it all, which is the only point?

#-9: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  It's been a roller coaster ride at the end of the season for the female Goofs b-ball team, and right now they are on the low side -- the very low side.  They lost yet another Game to a team equal in talent to them -- Wednesday to Washington by ten and (and this part really hurts them) at home.  And then they finished losing by 15 at ranked Michigan St.

They now fall into the First Round of the B1G Tournament and play the Huskies again this/Wednesday afternoon.  And I think they need to make a run to ensure they're in.  ESPN's Charlie Creme has the U. falling into play-in territory -- ick -- but note that there are two huge factors that don't favor the Goofs: They have no Quad 1 Wins, and they have an awful strength of schedule rating, especially when you count only non-conference SOS.  Those are two gigantic red flags that might be too hard to overcome.  I'm really afraid they won't get in if they don't win two, maybe even three times.

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