#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6). This team has now won five in a row after running the table this Week with victories over Charlotte, Miami (although that one was really close, 106-104), and San Antonio. Goddamn that they still are in the Play-In scrum, a half-Game behind The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors for sixth. But I want to say that there have been many Days where more than one local team has played, and this may be the second or third time in 2025 that the Timberwolves were the only ones that won their Game that Day. The Wolves have been the only reason there hasn't been more #MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA tags this calendar Year. And I and Twin Cities sports fans are grateful.
They travel to take on Denver tonight/Wednesday night, then start a five-Game homestand playing Orlando, The Bastard New Orleans Jazz, and Indiana.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -5). Dropped consecutive 3-1 results in Vancouver and at home to Pittsburgh, then defeated The Bastard Quebec Nordiques in a Shootout last/Tuesday night at the X. But Colorado had slid past them in the standings and they still are. The Mild, once the best team in the NHL, now has a Wild Card spot only. Now, they are eight Points ahead of Calgary, who has the other one. But this team is still missing Kirill Kaprizov and Joel Eriksson Ek, and they spend the NHL Trade Deadline trading for two Forwards, Justin Brazeau and Gustav Nyquist (who played for Minnesota before), that might make the whole team slower. That might help come playoff time, where the rules against interference and close play are loosened up, but it doesn't help in the regular season, where skill is rewarded and penalties are called quite easily. It's like politics: You want to appeal to your extreme base in the primary, but once you win your party's nomination, you want to tack back to the middle to pick up independent voters. But there are more disgruntled Wild fans that don't think General Manager Bill Guerin can be so deft.
With the Boys' State High School Hockey Tournaments now done, they have begun a seven-Game homestand, which continues this screening Week with Games against the Rangers, St. Louis and Los Angeles.
#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2). Dropped two-of-three in their conference-opening series against Purdue at U. S. Bank Stadium over the weekend, then started a two-Game mid-week set with a 10-6 Win at Ooooos-Banhk over Kansas. Golly, a BcS school coming up here to play the Golden Gophers in baseball -- I would love to go see opponents like the Jayhawks in Tuesday's matchup. Anyway, they finish up with Kansas this/Wednesday afternoon, then travel to Oregon to play a weekend trio against the Ducks.
#-5: Gopher softball (Last Week: -3). In the LSU Round Robin over the weekend, they balanced out a pair of one-Run victories over South Alabama with a pair of ass-kickings at the hands of LSU that were so bad, they got mercy ruled at five Innings in both Games. And they traveled to Beaumont, Tex., and got shut out by McNeese St., 2-0. Oof.
OK, so this is weird. The Gophers begin conference play this weekend. But they are doing so by playing four Games but two B1G foes -- two against Michigan St., then two against Penn St. Moreover, they will be playing these league Games at a neutral site nowhere near the Big Ten footprint: Devon Park in Oklahoma City, Okla.
#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -8). This has been a really crappy past Week in Dinkytown. Considering that of the four winter sports winding to its conclusion the Gopher women's hockey club fared the best is a reflection of how horrendous the performances were from the big school.
Maybe I'm being a bit too harsh on this team. In their WCHA Final Faceoff Semifinal Friday afternoon in Duluth, the third-seeded Gophs took it to second-seeded Ohio St., tripling them, 6-2. Then again, if you're cynical enough to believe that the Buckeyes didn't try because they sewed up the playoff position and situation they wanted to sew up, you might not be cynical enough. Minnesota still had something to play for, however, in the title Game vs. 1-Seed Wisconsin, and they played like it: They tied the Game at 1 (Allie Franco scored 20 Seconds after the Badgers' Casey O'Brien kicked off the scoring), went ahead with three Minutes to go in the First Period on a Goal by Josefin Bouveng, and then tied it up again at 3 late in the Second Period on a Power Play Goal by Natalie Mlynkova. Unfortunately, with 25 Seconds left in the Third Period, a perfect centering pass was fired in by Wisconsin's Sarah Wozniewicz, and the Badgers denied the Gophers a conference tournament championship they haven't won in a long time.
Now, would winning Saturday afternoon moved the Gophers up past the #4 Seed for the NCAAs? Possibly. But Cornell has that, and so, despite getting to play Saturday afternoon's Quarterfinal at Ridder, they play 5-Seed Colgate. I have a bad feeling about this. And by the way, once again The NCAA Women's Hockey Tournament has 11 teams. Eleven! Why? How did they come up with the crooked number of 11? And as I'm on this topic, why in the hell does every basketball conference tournament this season only 15 teams big? What an odd number to settle on, 15. That means there are only three tilts in The First Round of a 15-squad tourney. But that means that there are four First Round and four Quarterfinal contests the two following Days. Those quadrupleheaders are all played on the same Day. So why isn't the First Round four Games big? Why in the hell aren't the conference tournament fields 16 teams big?
#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7). What happened last weekend was fucking shocking and humiliating. In the B1G Quarterfinal series they were hosting at Mariucci, these Goofers lost a three-Game series to Notre Dame and have been eliminated from the conference tourney. Friday's 3-2 defeat should have been a wake-up call, and they responded the next night with a 4-2 Win. And yet the message didn't stick because the Fighting Irish -- the last-place Fighting Irish -- blasted the Goofers Sunday, 4-1. How the fuck??
That upset pushes the U. down the PairWise (Pairwise?) down from third to fourth, being passed up by Maine. Thank goodness that, at least according to College Hockey News' Pairwise Probability Matrix, it is unlikely that the Goofs will split to fifth and thus lose one of the four 1-Seeds for the NCAA Tournament. But that possibility was highly unlikely before getting ganked by Notre Dame. Meanwhile, CHN's Adam Wodon still believes one of Minnesota, Michigan St. and Boston College is coming away with the title. His belief in the local team has not wavered; for I and I think for many who witnessed that atrocity over the weekend, that faith has been heavily shaken.
The Selection Show is on the 23rd. The team will have a hell of a long time to reflect on what they allowed to happen.
#-8: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4). Finished the regular season with two more Losses, home to Wisconsin last Wednesday night and at Rutgers in Overtime Sunday. (Aside: Rutgers has two players, Dylan Harper and Ace Bailey, both of whom many prognosticators believe will be top 5 picks in the NBA Draft in the summer. A few are saying that those two will go #2 and #3, with Duke's Cooper Flagg being picked first. You don't need The Fab Five to win a championship in top-flight college basketball; two potential pro superstars may be more than enough. That the Scarlet Knights will not get into The Big Dance without winning the conference tournament is one of the most head-scratchingest puzzles in college sports in a long, long time.) Dawson Garcia is the only bright spot with this squad; the loyal returnee was named B1G Second Team by both The Media and coaches.
So a season that had many signs of encouragement -- again (all those Quad 1 Wins, all going to waste) -- will end up with yet another First Round appearance in the B1G tourney. At least this one isn't going to be in front of a home crowd; the tournament is being played in Indianapolis. And like their female counterparts, they will be in the kickoff Game, versus Northwestern, this/Wednesday afternoon. Will they go meekly like their counterparts, the ...
#-Infinity: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -9). The collapse of the U. Goofers women's b-ball team in its second Year under Dawn Plitzuweit is now complete after going out like bitches in the First Round of the B1G Women's Basketball Tournament last Wednesday, a completely uncompetitive 79-65 Loss to a below-mediocre Washington squad to whom they lost by ten, at home, the Wednesday prior. They lost eight of their last ten Games. And what was to be a breakthrough season under a Head Coach known to turn around programs -- Charlie Creme once had the U. pegged as a 10-Seed -- likely ends with another fucking appearance in the WNIT.
The arc of the season is concerning. That this club, and this program, hasn't improved under Plitzuweit, should be even more concerning. You cannot say Minnesota doesn't have talent -- or can you? Everything should be on the table. It is downright miraculous that there wasn't an exodus the two previous off-seasons, but that can't happen three off-seasons in a row, can it? I guess the more important question is, Shouldn't it? I don't know how the state of the program is viewed at the office of Athletic Director Mark Coyle, but there appears to be less panic than there should be. This wasn't a good season, y'all, especially how it ended, and there needs to be changes, full stop.
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