The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  Can't say I think they're going to win this series, but ... this club seems as locked as they have been all season.  That depth and chemistry propelled the Wolves into taking Games 3 and 4 at Target Center this Week.  Anthony Edwards is stepping up as the alpha, not only on this team but also in the playoffs.  Meanwhile, Jaden McDaniels has had to step up and be a reliable scorer, and he has.  Therefore, they are on the brink of beating The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers (who played all five of their starters for the entirety of the Second Half of Game 4, no substitutions ... and they almost pulled it off, falling 116-113), starting with Game 5 tonight/Wednesday night at the Crypt.

Want to be encouraging about what they've done, so I put them above negative numbers, but they haven't yet reached The Western Conference Finals, so I won't put them at Positive Numbers.

#-1: Gopher softball (Last Week: -6).  This squad is mired in negative numbers based on overall and conference record.  But let us note that the softballers had probably their best weekend of the Year over the weekend.  They hosted two teams, both out-of-conference (Pittsburgh and North Dakota), for two Games each over three Days.  Only the first tilt versus the Fighting Hawks Saturday evening went the distance.  Not only did the other three Games get mercy-ruled, they ended after the minimum of five Innings, and they all were Gopher Shutouts.

Poor Pitt.  They got waxed 9-0 in five on Friday and 8-0 in five Saturday afternoon.  I was at that Game Saturday afternoon as part of a Golden Gopher softball/baseball Doubleheader.  It got done in 75 Minutes.  Oh, the U. blitzed NoDak Sunday afternoon 8-0 in five as well.

Didn't realize they were in the middle of a seven-Game homestand.  Also didn't notice that the regular season ends this weekend as they host Michigan for a three-Game series.  They're 4-15 in the Big Ten, and they've already been eliminated from playing in the 12-team Big Ten Tournament, so this is it for them.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -5).  Last Year, the Twins had trouble getting out of first gear, but then they had consecutive three-Game series against The Chicago White Sox and The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of. ...  Minnesota won all six Games, and that propelled them into their best play of the season.  (Let's not talk about how they collapsed down the stretch.)

By coincidence, the Twins got the White Sox and the Angels back-to-back again, and although they dropped a rain-shortened 3-0 result to the Pale Hose, they swept Anaheim and went 5-1 in these six Games.  They lost 2-1 last/Monday night in Cleveland when Kyle Manzardo walked it off with a Home Run off Louis Varland in the bottom of the Ninth Inning, though.  Also, they are 13-17 overall and trailing Detroit by five Games in the A. L. Central.

Two more vs. the Guardians, then at Fenway for a trio over the weekend, then home to play The Bastard St. Louis Browns for three starting on Tuesday.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -1).  I can feel it slipping away.  Thursday's 5-2 romp in Game 3 of their series against the (Las) Vegas Golden Knights at the X felt electric.  But Team Privilege won in Overtime in Game Saturday to even up the series at two apiece, then won it in OT again in Vegas last/Tuesday night to take a 3-2 series lead heading into tomorrow/Thursday night's do-or-die Game 6.  Kirill Kaprizov and Matt Boldy continue to shine, but damn puck luck has put the Mild behind the eight-ball.

Instead of calling them the Mild, if I want to insult them, maybe I should call them the Mid instead.

#-4: United FC (Last Week: -4).  Ugh.  Their eight-Match unbeaten streak (albeit four of those eight Matches are Draws) came to a thudding end at home vs. Vancouver.  This was a matchup of the top team in The Western Conference (and all of Major League Soccer) versus the #3 team in the West, and sadly for the Loons, they got boatraced, 3-1.  I guess I could and should bash MNUFC since the Whitecaps played a CONCACAF Champions Cup Game Thursday evening and, because they had to play Minnesota Sunday afternoon, they rested many of their best players and they still raced out to a 3-0 lead before Will Trapp pulled one back.  But looking at how the Whitecaps were surgical in build-up play, I've got to say that they look like a damn good team.

United FC, now technically in fourth place but in a three-way tie on Points for third, play Saturday at Austin, one of the clubs that is tied with them on Points but is technically in third, where the Loons were this time last screening Week.

#-5: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3).  Coming in dead last with a bullet are the Goopher baseballers.  They had been riding high, winning nine in a row recently.  But they got swept over the weekend at Siebert by my alma mater.  Me and a few alumni friends took in the Saturday Game, one that was scoreless through four Innings but came alive with a First Pitch Grand Slam in the top of the Fifth.  My alma mater's Starting Pitcher had a No-Hitter through seven Innings and eventually threw a Complete Game two-hitter as Minnesota lost, 6-1.  The U. had a lead in Sunday's tilt, but coughed up two Runs in the top of the Ninth to lose, 3-2.  Oh, and they got blasted in the Friday contest, 16-6.

What may be worse is that they lost last/Tuesday night at home to North Dakota St., 6-3.  Maybe it was hangover over the weekend, but these guys have followed up winning straight with losing five straight.  And they have to turn around and go across the Mississippi to play at St. Thomas tomorrow/Wednesday afternoon, then travel to Nebraska for a trio over the weekend.

Boss Back On His Bullshit Again

Well, I guess it was going to happen some time.  Over the weekend, after yet another week of staying late, he finally e-mailed me "worried" about my work.  Not necessarily that I'm working late, but that I am leaving so much left over after working late.

I wanted to respond immediately.  This, at first blush, was another of those, "Why in the hell are you working so long?" e-mails that would have made me snap.  But I didn't want to say anything I'll regret, and I really wanted to tell him off about all this shit I have to do -- shit, by the way, he doesn't know how to do.  But I needed to stop and think, two things too many people in this country don't do.  I think he understands that there's a lot to do in The Third Department (although he pointed out that, in winding language, my co-workers don't stay late and I do -- I think I'll have to let that slide).  He said that my supervisor asked me on Friday if I needed help and I said no.  Now, I don't remember what I said on Friday -- not only because I read the e-mail yesterday/Monday, but also because my hair is on my fire whenever I start working in The Third Department, so I won't know what I said to anybody there a minute after I say it.

The big takeaway I think I get from him is that he is surprised that, even after staying late, there was so much other stuff to do.  This ties back into all the shit I have to do in this position.  But there is another dimension to my work, namely what do I need to do before I leave at the end of the day and what can wait till the next day.  Frankly, I don't think there's much I want to leave till the next day.  If I do leave it till tomorrow, I'll just, you know, have to do it tomorrow, along with all the other shit that comes in that day.  Why not just do it before the next day?  But in his e-mail to me, my boss detailed a lot of things I didn't get around to that he thought I would.  Beyond not having the time, many of those are tasks I thought I could put off till the next day.  That's partially why I told my supervisor I was good.  Again, I'm not one to tide stuff over to the next day.  But at some point even I have to call it quits, and without a natural stopping point, I feel there are some tasks that don't have to get done right then and there.  I believe I was told as much, but apparently my boss thinks otherwise.

This brings up a lack of communication of how The Third Department is now supposed to go.  My boss said a few months ago that he did not want us staying late.  But in this e-mail, he wants me to do all the things that I left after I left work on Friday.  So which one is it?  I haven't been sat down by my boss or my supervisor (who didn't acknowledge me at all yesterday/Monday and may be pissed at me for all the shit I left over on Friday because she might have needed to do them on Saturday) and told this specific task can wait and this specific task cannot.  There are a lot of things I could use more direction on, but everybody seems to be so damn busy, I didn't bring it up until problems came to a head.

I'll look at his e-mail again.  But I'll "invite more discussion" on what should be taken care of and what can wait.  Maybe this will smooth things over.  But when I initially read the e-mail, I thought that I need to go on a job search again, just to cover my ass.  And I still think that's a good idea.

Don't Have Time ... Now I Have Time ... No, Now I Don't

Man, have I got a splitting headache.  Think I got it after sleeping in my car for almost half an hour after MNUFC got obliterated yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  Anyway ...

... I was going to see The Accountant 2 Wednesday afternoon, the second of two days I had off this week.  But I took back my paid time off for both days -- I'll say why later -- and so I obviously can't go at that time.  I had time to go to the theater I was going to see the movie after the MNUFC Loss, so I wanted to make sure it was OK for me to switch.  Now, this is not my hometown theater.  I have asked to see the movie I bought a ticket online for at a screening different than the one I paid for, and they were totally OK with it.  But the guy I spoke to said I had to talk with Atom, the application through which I bought the ticket.  Weird.

I didn't have to "talk" to Atom.  Instead, the means to cancel the ticket was right there, and I did.  I have $5 in credit to see any other movie I want to see at any time I want now.  I was planning to see The Accountant 2 this/Monday evening, well after work, though.  I was kind of bummed out about that because I told my parents I would be eating out.  But what do I do now that I can't go to a movie I planned on going to?

And then I remembered that we are seeing my niece (and her two parents) Saturday.  I have been fretting for some time when I could get my hair cut and my face shaved.  Doing that this week would be next to impossible considering I am routinely working so late, every barbershop is probably closed by the time I get done with work.  But I think I need to look presentable to my niece, so I have to find time to get my hair cut and my face shaved.  And you know, cancelling the movie means I can do it tonight!

One problem: Severe weather is forecast for the evening.  And when I say severe, I mean severe.  They have that 1-to-5 scale of predicting how bad the severe weather could be.  I usually see the Twin Cities at a 1, maybe a 2 on occasion.  Tonight/Monday night, we're at a 4.  I thought 4's were only reserved for states south of here.  This is the first time I have seen the Twin Cities at risk for moderate severe weather, and that scares the hell out of me.  If it's going to be that bad out there, I don't know if I should get groomed.  Maybe I should head for home, or maybe even camp out at work until the storm blows over.  Either way, I feel like I'm taking a massive risk going out after work just to get to get my hair cut and my face shaved so my niece doesn't think I'm a slob.  What bad timing.

Thoughts And Prayers To The Spontaneously Pooping Son And His Father

So leaving the baseball Game at the U. last/Saturday night, I stopped by the restroom.  There, there was young boy, maybe 2 or 3, on the Koala Kare bed, and his father in complete apoplexy.  "How do you poop like that?  How??" he was crying in near-agony as (and I didn't look straight at this ... scene) he apparently was using as much toilet paper as possible to, it looks like, wipe the crap out of his boy's ass.

Completely unprompted, he starts venting to me, the only other person in the men's room: "I asked him if he needed to poop.  He said no.  So I tell him to stand outside (I hope he meant away from the stalls; I don't know if it would be wise to tell your young son to stay outside of the bathroom all by himself).  And when I come back, he totally crapped his pants.  And this is like the second or third time today!"

As he told his son, "Man, you gotta get it together," I made my way out.  I didn't know what to say except, "Good luck, man," to which he said, "Yeah, thanks for ..." and he didn't finish his sentence because he didn't really know what to say, either.  "I understand, you have to vent," I said, and I left.

Godspeed to the father and to the incontinent son.

I Get Older, They Stay The Same Age

Do I still get horny seeing young women with their barebellies?  Judging by all the talent I saw at the U. while watching a softball and a baseball Game yesterday, the answer is, fuck yes.

That's all I got.  I'm tired.

Since When Did They Care What Time I Came Home For Dinner?

God, I'm racked with so much damn guilt right now.  It was another punishing day at work for me in The Third Department.  By now I am resigned/determined to work way past my eight hours (though that may change soon; I'll discuss that some other time), and so it's been routine for me to call my parents late in the afternoon to tell them I'm coming back some time in the evening.  That was the case yesterday/Friday.  I told them 7, but I was hedging that it could be later than that.  See, it was my last day of the week at work, and I am not the type to leave a lot of work for one of my co-workers to pick up the next day.  We are leaving some work in The Third Department for the next day anyway, but I don't like it when I am faced with a ton of work that I consider to be the previous day's work because it pushes back when I get to today's work, which I also have to dedicate a lot of time to.  And since I don't like it when it's done to me, yesterday/Friday I felt like I could go a ways in order to do my part, and to leave my co-worker with something slightly more manageable so that she doesn't curse me under her breath.

Because of that, not only did I blow through eight hours of work, my set limit of ten hours of work has been obliterated often as well.  Now I'm just staying until I'm damn good and ready to leave.  And yesterday/Friday, I just kept going and going and going until I felt like my co-worker won't be pissed at how much I left for her.  That, however, caused me to stay past 7 -- like, way past 7.

I got done around a quarter to 8.  I called my parents in my car, to which Father told me I could heat up dinner myself.  No problem nowadays; I've done that several times for dinner after my folks have been home.  So I got home, turned off the alarm, and heated up the spaghetti they left for me.  And when they came home a bit later, they asked me why I didn't call to tell them I'd be later than 7.

Dammit.  I got caught up on work that I hurriedly tried to do.  But frankly, it didn't dawn on me to call because there have been several times where I would call, say I wasn't coming home until 7, I get home at around 7 ... and they have left dinner for me to heat up and help myself.  Once or twice they were going out for a walk to exercise off whatever they ate for dinner, which they had eaten before me.  More often, they were just cleaning dishes or scrolling through their phones or downstairs doing whatever they wanted to do.  I don't remember the last time they asked me why I didn't call to tell them I was going to be late, if ever.  And if they have never asked me why, I did not think it was a big deal that I came back 45 minutes after I told them I was coming home, which, again, was a time I was soft on.

Then again ... well, I think I did tell Father over the phone when I told him 7 that if I was going to be late, I'd call.  And I didn't.  And I can tell that Father was a little miffed about it, even though, like I said, I don't remember the last time he wondered why I didn't call to tell them I would be late.  I think it's water under the bridge, but knowing how passive-aggressive My Father can be, and knowing that they are leaving soon, he might think one day in the next couple weeks would be a good time to bust my balls over this, just to shore up his masculinity.

I feel so fucking guilty.  But goddamn, man, since when did they care what time I came home for dinner?

Oh Yeah, My Taxes

When all was said and done, I owed a combined $400 to both the country and the state.  I am at peace with doing that, even though it feels like another huge annual payment I have to pay, like my satellite radio.

Checked my bank account last/Wednesday night.  Yep, on April 16, the state noted it took up my electronic payment, and the day after the federal did the same.  The government just can't wait to get their money from me, huh?

To be fair, even though I hate this particular government, all governments, regardless of party or competence, will hoover up the money I owe them ASAP.  No matter, at least I don't think.  See, I'm convinced by the argument that it's good to owe taxes because that means you have been keeping money that, basically, the government is supposed to have.  You could get a refund, but that means that the government has had money that actually belongs to you.  Better to be the robber than to be robbed.

Regardless, I think I want to be more savvy with my taxes, and any payments deriving from it, because of the corrupt government we have now.  I don't trust it with my money.  I don't trust that they won't take my money, however little it probably is to them.  The way I figure it, Trump and the Republicans in power are stealing my money however they can, so why I am giving it to them through taxes?  But no, I doubt I'll find a way to withhold my tax money from government.  I'll just go on, doing my taxes like usual, even though nothing in our country is usual now.

Sorry I Missed You, The Conners

The series finale of The Conners, the situation comedy Roseanne turned into after star Roseanne Barr shot her racist mouth off, was last/Wednesday night.  I watched The Conners throughout its seven seasons, and I liked it a lot, but I didn't really realize it was ending for good until I saw a commercial for it on, I think, Monday.

Have to be honest, though: I think I saw an ad for The Conners several weeks ago which highlighted that this was indeed going to be the last season of the show.  This series finale didn't really hit me out of the blue, but I forgot that commercial from several weeks ago as soon as it was over.  In one ear and out the other, and I almost missed seeing the whole damn thing.

I knew there were times I got home on Wednesdays over the past six weeks before 7 p.m.  I had the chance to turn on the TV and see the show, and yet I didn't.  I was probably scrolling through my phone as a way to decompress from a long day at work.  I could have been watching The Conners instead, and now I feel bad that I didn't.

Moreover, I feel bad that I didn't catch the final two episodes, which aired back-to-back last/Wednesday night.  Work was murdering me yesterday/Wednesday.  I could have left it over for the next day, but I knew that there would be more work beyond the work I left for me today/Thursday, and I really, really want to go out to an NFL Draft party in the evening, and I'm determined to leave so that I get to somewhere to watch by 7, and that means staying late last/Wednesday night to give myself every opportunity to get all the work done and, fingers crossed, leave at a not-too-obscene time this/Thursday evening.  But as soon as I decided that I would miss the first episode of The Conners at 7 (which is the penultimate episode of the series) due to work, I surmised that I would miss the beginning of the second episode, aka the series finale, at 7:30.  I had to stay late, and then I indulged in some leftover taco bar food that had been laying out at room temperature in the break room.  (The company catered lunch yesterday/Wednesday.)  If I had skipped the ad hoc nachos I made for myself, I might've been able to get home in time.  Instead, I think I caught the last 15 minutes of the finale, maybe less.  Maybe I can see those episodes somewhere else for free.

Still, the guilt lingers.  I wish I could've remembered that The Conners likely started their season some time in the spring.  I wish I could've pried my eyes from my phone and laid them on the television set once the clock struck 7, just out of curiosity.  I wish a lot of things that I let slip from my hands.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1 (tied): Timberwolves and Wild (Last Week, respectively: -1 and -2).  It feels as though these two teams, whose schedules will always line up, will be compared with each other with much more scrutiny this postseason.  Don't know why; it's just vibes.  With that in mind, I find it hard to separate these two.  I can say, definitively, that these two tower over the other local teams for the Week because both teams are two Games into their First Round playoff series (talk about twinsies), they played both contests on the road and, at least temporarily, have overcome the damnation of being Twin Cities sports teams by winning one Game.

The Timberwolves wound up the 6-Seed and are playing The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers.  Los Angeles is the 3-Seed, but they were only one Game better than the Timberwolves, so this series, at least on paper, is even.  Well, it wasn't even in Saturday's Game 1.  The Wolves annihilated L.A., 117-95.  Luka Doncic was not able to have his way with the T-Wolves the way he did when he was with Dallas last postseason.  And Minnesota didn't let Doncic nor LeBron James pass their way into Points.  Los Angeles just tied up the series with last/Tuesday night's 94-85 Win in Game 2.  The scoring that seemed to come at will for the Timberwolves in Game 1 dried up in Game 2.  Still, they somewhat battled back, and they have home-court advantage as they play Games 3 and 4 at Target Center Friday and Sunday.  If the Wolves prevent any role players for L. A. to erupt, they might be able to take control.

Meanwhile, the Wild went opposite to the Timberwolves.  They dropped Game 1 in Las Vegas Sunday, 4-2 with an Empty Net Goal at the buzzer.  Minnesota, however, came out guns a-blazin' last/Tuesday night, jumping out to a 4-0 lead four Minutes into the Second Period before hanging on for dear life and taking Game 2, 5-2.  Matt Boldy scored in this Game after tallying both Wild Goals Sunday; he obviously is having a great series so far.  It is easier for the road team to win in playoff hockey than playoff basketball, but if you asked me which of the two local pro teams could spring the upset, I didn't think it would be the Wild because, frankly, I didn't they had the team to do it.  Still might not; (Las) Vegas now gets the privilege of being the road team as Games 3 and 4 of this series is played at The Xcel Energy Center tomorrow/Thursday and Saturday.  But Minnesota has home-ice advantage for now, and I didn't think they were going to be able to pull that off.

#-3: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3).  I was inveighing in last Week's survey that I did not put the University of Minnesota baseball team in the top spot even though they went unbeaten.  Honestly, if they were able to run the table this screening Week, I probably still wouldn't put them up top because of the importance of what the Timberwolves and Wild did.  Sorry.  Has to be said that they got doubled up at Rutgers in Sunday's getaway Game, 12-6, ending their winning streak at nine, which concluded with a midweek doubling up of South Dakota St. Wednesday at Siebert, then defeating the Scarlet Knights Friday, 3-2, and Saturday ... well, wouldn't you know, doubling them up, 8-4.

They are still mired in mediocrity overall, but you can't deny they're playing a lot better.  Don't know if that will continue when they host my alma mater over the weekend.  I am really busy, but I think I can catch one Game.

#-4: United FC (Last Week: -4).  I made the decision to see the Kendrick Lamar/SZA concert at U. S. Bank Stadium, which was Saturday night at around the same time as the Loons' matchup with FC Dallas.  (Aside: I think this is at least the second time I decided not to go to a home Match against FCD.  Purely coincidence.  Oh, I should add that I wouldn't have gone to the concert if this wasn't the kickoff stop for the tour.  I'm not a huge fan of Kendrick Lamar or SZA.  But it was a very visually arresting concert, even if my seat was in, of all places, the press box, which was in the far corner from the stage.  And I paid $145 for it!)  Don't think I missed much; they wound up tied at 0.  The Hoops aren't a bad side, but if Minnesota United could've just notched one Goal, they would surpass Austin for second place in the West all by themselves.  One MLS writer believes that opposing squads have finally caught up to what Eric Ramsay wants to do offensively.

Nevertheless, United FC have a big one Sunday afternoon, which is a postponement because their next tilt was supposed to happen Saturday night.  However, Vancouver has been busy with the CONCACAF Champions Cup; they play Inter Miami tomorrow/Thursday night, so the contest against the Loons was pushed back a Day because it looks as though there is a worldwide standard minimum of three Days (though not necessarily 72 Hours) between soccer Matches.  Nonetheless, despite the hectic schedule the Whitecaps have right now, they're sitting in first place in the Western Conference, so this showdown between first and (technically) third in the West should be one to look forward to.

#-5: Twins (Last Week: -5).  I finished watching the comedy block of St. Denis Medical and Night Court when I absentmindedly started flipped channels on my TV.  I go down to Channel 9 -- and I see the Twins playing the White Sox.  And then I remembered -- several Twins Games are going to be on over-the-air TV for the first time in decades.  This is a good thing!

And better than that, the Twins won.  Unfortunately, that finishes up a 2-3 screening Week where the two victories (it started off with that 4-3 Win over the Mets at Target Field that I went to and whose ending I missed, dammit) sandwich a weekend sweep courtesy of The Bastard Boston-by-way-of-Milwaukee Braves in Atlanta.  Only the White Sox and Colorado have worse records than the Twinks' 8-15.  But Minnesota gets to host the Pale Hose twice more before Mike Trout and The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ... come to town for a weekend trio.  They then strike out to play at Cleveland for four beginning Monday.

#-6: Gopher softball (Last Week: -6).  Yeah, this might end up being the worst local team of the first half of the Year.  Dropped the first two Games over the weekend at Madison versus Wisconsin before taking the getaway Game (which was played on Monday; this was a Saturday-to-Monday series, for some reason), 10-4.

The Gophers, 15-28 overall and 4-15 in the Big Ten, continue conference play vs. B1G foe Pittsburgh ... wait a second ... Pittsburgh isn't in the Big Ten!  But it looks as though the Panthers are coming to Cowles Stadium for a two-Game series Friday night and Saturday afternoon.  Not only that, they will play another two-Game series over the weekend, vs. North Dakota St., and those Games will take place Saturday evening and Sunday afternoon!  Four Games over three Days against two teams in one venue?  Well, that happens frequently during the non-conference part of the schedule, but not this far into the season, and not against two teams out-of-conference.  I have to go that Saturday afternoon Game just to see Pittsburgh.  When will they come back up here again?

Addendum To: The Trash Bag Gets Smaller For Father

Revisiting this idea from almost a month ago, I recently concluded there might be another reason my parents throw in an object underneath the trash bag so that the bag only covers half of the bucket it's in.  The bag usually isn't big, wide, or voluminous enough for it to fit snug into the bucket.  Sometimes, when I put in a bag, I select one that's not tall enough, and so I can't pull the bag over the sides of the bucket and keep the sides there.  Then, you have to be careful of throwing trash into it because some of it might not make it into the bag and instead will fall into the bucket, which is gross.

So maybe that's why they throw an empty carton into the bucket first: To bring up the bottom of the bag enough so that the sides reach up to and over the sides of the bucket.  That makes more sense than my first theory that it helps Father from hurting his back.

Just want to note that observation here.