This guy, I used to work with him some time ago. I like him, but, to be honest with you, if we didn't work with each other and share the same passion for sports, we would not be friends. He's a nice guy and all, but circumstances brought us together, and sentiment keeps us together. Guess that's the way things usually work in life.
Anyway, I've known him for years, and he's ... uh, he's kind of slow. I think. It's hard to describe, but from the way he talks and the relatively, um, measured way he does things, you might think he's mentally challenged. And he could be. But the good thing about him is he seems to take things easy. Until today.
I was helping out at my parents' place when he walks in to get some lottery tickets. He always does this; in fact, he may be one of a half-dozen regulars to my parents' store. Well, what happened was is that he wanted to fill out a form because he wanted the same numbers drawn over four consecutive drawings. I told him I knew what he was talking about, so he didn't have to fill out a sheet. But I fucked up. When he saw it -- and I still can't believe this -- he pounded his fists on the counter. Pounded his fists on the counter!!! Not only had I never seen him that angry, I had never seen him angry, period. And was pissed off at me, probably because he thought that he now had to pay money for tickets that weren't in the form that he wanted.
After I told him that I would either cancel or eat the tickets, he calmed down. In fact, he apologized for his ... well, wait a second, he really didn't. He said, "I'm sorry that I ..." and he trailed off before saying something to the effect of, "... yeah, that, whatever." (I'm paraphrasing because he was speaking very quietly.) During his pause, one would usually interject and say, "Nah, don't worry about it." But I wanted to test my friend. I wanted him to apologize like a grown-up, with actual words. But he couldn't. Either he was too ashamed -- or he isn't man enough.
He was very nice to me after his meltdown. Profusely even. But I just can't help but feel that our relationship has been irrevocably altered for the worse. Yes, my friends have the right to their frustration and anger. But I'm a sensitive guy, and I'm not completely exaggerating when I saw I'll be scarred and haunted by this for the rest of my life. Plus, when I can't forget something bad that happened to me, however unintentional, I'm slowly come around to not being able to forgive. How can I think of this man the same way after the events of today?
And fucking up all of this is that although he is a friend, he is an important customer for the store. If I somehow let on that I can't forgive him for what he did to me, he just might get so pissed off he never comes around ever again, and there goes some of our business. If I even act differently from now on, I'm afraid he'll stop taking the bus to the store.
So now I'm fucked. What can I do?
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