Bought a ticket to the Twins game. Cheap seats for $8 'cause I'm poor. Thought I'd be able to get downstairs.

Saw the stairs. There's an usher there, standing guard. I wait for someone to engage the usher so I can dart downstairs. Unfortunately, this usher has the ability to multi-task. He spoke to this guy, then raised his hand to stop me.

"I can't let you downstairs if you don't have a ticket," he said after he stopped talking to this stranger. I played slow and dumb, but he saw my ticket popping out of my shirt pocket. "Sorry, General Admission, can't let you go down there."

I didn't look at him the whole time. I just stared down at his chest, froze, then left without looking at him.

Epic goddamn fail.

Well, at least the Home Run Porch was just about full. Probably couldn't get a free spot to myself even if I did manage to get down there.