Friday, May 8, 2009

A Sign Of Spring: My Topless Neighbor

Remember the Naked Guy on Friends? We have someone sort of similar. A few houses down from us, but the neighbor next door to my sister's best friend, lives an old man. Never talked to him, don't know him. In fact, the only time I ever see him is when I'm driving back home and he's outside watering his lawn.

Without a shirt on. And with jean shorts. Short jean shorts.

You have to check this dude out. He has gray hair, so I assume he's at least in his late 50's. He's not fat, but he's definitely not skinny. He has back hair and a little bit of bitch tits. Over the course of the warm months he develops this ruddy, uncomfortable-looking, European tan. And he wears his white socks as high up the shin as they go. Yet he's still out there, carefully focused on watering his lawn, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he looks like a damn gay porn star.

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