I got an inkling when I got a text from My Father's pharmacy (which also happens to be my pharmacy) to pick up medicine for him, and the pharmacist stopped me to tell me that he had to start taking it (whether it was a cream or a pill I don't know, I didn't look in the bag) seven days before surgery. Over the weekend (when My Fucking Father and I were not on speaking terms) Mother told me this surgery was on Monday -- and because it's so complicated (haven't asked what it's about, don't want to know) they will be out of town for three days.
And do you know the first thing I thought of? Time for some sexy time!!! So I buzzed all my stripper friends to see if they were doing parties or could otherwise clear out their schedules so they could wank my pee-pee. I had been thinking and bitching about where all my money went, and as soon as I know my parents are taking a mini-vacation, that woe-is-me sentiment goes flying out the window because I have can possibly get a handjob at home without them being around. No wonder I'm a fuck-up. A happy fuck-up, but a fuck-up nonetheless.
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