Advertising works, first of all. A couple weeks ago, tantalized about looking forward to thinking about my NCAA men's basketball tournament bracket, I listened to who I usually listen to in the 7-8 a.m. hour, my first hour at work, Evan & Phillips In The Morning on Sirius XM Mad Dog Sports Radio 86. Their commercial touted that this Warren Buffet Billion Dollar Bracket that he announced a couple months ago, and to which I thought to myself, "Shoot, what's the website so I can sign up for that?" was finally up and running. And it was at a site I was familiar with. Yahoo! Sports struck a deal with Buffet and partner (and Owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers) Dan Gilbert to be the company overseeing their billion-dollar prize. I've had an e-mail account with Yahoo! for a couple decades, and I funnel all my fantasy sports dealings (including March Madness) through them, so all I had to do was login and sign up.
When Monday rolled around, I was busy. Very busy. Between working, winding down work as I move on to my next job next Monday, researching my bracket, celebrating my birthday, and preparing for this charity event I'm organizing for Saturday, I was really afraid I wouldn't be able to make any picks at all. (That was one reason why I decided to put off the auction for my fantasy baseball league till the weekend after this, even though it technically begins this weekend when the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Arizona Diamondbacks play a series in Australia.) Besides, I decided to employ a new strategy in filling out my bracket. Since I think my biggest weakness is picking too many upsets (I'm a Pisces so I have a soft spot for underdogs), I decided I would just set aside two minutes, get into the Billion Dollar Bracket, and pick all the higher seeds all the way to the final, and then go by the rankings of the #1 seeds in the Final Four. That meant that Florida, which would beat Virginia, would also defeat Arizona, which would beat Wichita St., in the title game. Just to do it as a placeholder.
When I like something, I will find the time to indulge in it. Like Internet porn. Or doing my bracket. I did all the research, with an emphasis on advanced statistics like Kenpom. I also have to give a hat tip to this two-year-old Bleacher Report compendium of what seeds usually advance in the tourney. Finally, after spending my Wednesday evening at Pizza Luce to ruminate over my bracket (over an appetizer sampler that stuffed my stomach only a couple hours after I had dinner and, to put things gently, did not agree with me at work Thursday), I settled on Florida (which would beat my surprise team, North Carolina, in the Final Four) over Arizona (which would beat Louisville) in the national championship game.
So a bit before midnight, I swear, I finally make it home and enter my picks. But when I loaded it up and started click-and-dragging like you can do whenever you edit any bracket, I was taken aback that I couldn't. I went to my other Yahoo! bracket that I'm doing with my friend, and not only could I move and delete teams, the layout was kind of different. That's when it dawned on me. There wasn't a glitch. The Billion Dollar Bracket doesn't allow you to edit your picks. To which I say, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!
I checked the fine print. It said something about making picks before "the Entry Window closed," whatever the fuck that means. Look, I don't see anything about being able to change your picks once you enter them. But I didn't see anything about not being able to change your picks once you enter them. And then, of course, there's that nagging crutch called common sense. Why in the hell wouldn't I be able to change my mind on my bracket? What bracket ever in the history of cyberspace makes you etch your bracket in stone once and only once? It's the Internet -- you can change shit all the time. But not a bracket?
My friend told me that you could change your bracket up till 1 in the morning Eastern Daylight Time. But I swear that I got to it before midnight and I couldn't move anything. And no, I would not have gotten the billion dollars because I, like 90% of the rest of the 15 million entrants, picked Ohio St. and so got bounced in the first "real" game of the NCAA Tournament Thursday. But remember that there is a "consolation" prize of $100,000 going to the top 20 finishers in the contest. As of press time, I have dropped four teams (Ohio St., N.C. St., Oklahoma and Arizona St.), none of them I have advancing into next weekend. That's really good, and even though the tough choices won't happen until Friday, I am in good position right now, something I doubt I have ever been able to say. But I'm not even in the running for the $100,000 because I picked the chalk, and that's not going to win, that's for sure.
This is a ripoff. I feel I got screwed. I want to grab Mr. Buffett and/or Mr. Gilbert and ask them why theirs is the only bracket where I couldn't enter or change my picks up till the first tip of the first game on Thursday, something every other bracket in the fucking universe lets you do. What I thought was a great, mouth-watering idea really is nothing more than a goddamn confidence game.
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