Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -6).  In this time of the year, where seasons end in time with the (alleged) end of winter, the summer pastime of baseball grabs the top spot, albeit due only to numbers.  They took two of three at Sacramento St. over the weekend (they won the series with a ten-inning 5-3 win Sunday), then began their two-game midweek set at St. Mary's with a 15-11 victory.

Since I have to research my bracket, I'm going to leave this entry short.  Besides, there's not much about the baseball team to write about, at least right now.  They play another game against the Gaels Wednesday before finally ending their six-week season-opening roadtrip by, ironically, beginning Big Ten play with three games at Northwestern on the weekend.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Ending the regular season with a 6-2 shellacking at the hands of Michigan wasn't good.  However, I can understand Head Coach Don Lucia easing off the gas pedal because on Friday, Kyle Rau scored in overtime to give the Gophers a 3-2 win in the opening game of the two-game set, and in the process gave the U. three points (only two were necessary) that clinched them the first-ever Big Ten hockey regular season championship.

This club received a tidal wave of accolades upon the year's conclusion.  For the week, Brady Skjei was named conference Third Star for scoring three goals in the series against the Wolverines, including being the only source of scoring in their loss Saturday.  For the season, congratulations go out to the following: Don Lucia for being named B1G Coach Of The Year, Mike Reilly for being named B1G Defensive Player Of The Year and, most of all, Adam Wilcox for being named not just B1G Goaltender Of The Year but also B1G Player Of The Year.  Both Reilly and Wilcox were named to the All-Big Ten First Team as well.

They gear up for the inaugural B1G hockey tournament taking place this weekend at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul.  Since they won the six-team league, they get a bye to Friday's semifinals, where they await either Ohio St. or Michigan St.  The championship game will be played Saturday night at 7, and I expect to be there.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -8).  A 2-2 week, but they ruled over New York City.  A shootout loss at home to Columbus and a 4-1 drubbing at well-oiled Boston are counterbalanced and sandwiched by a much-needed 2-1 win over the Rangers (which helped wipe away the bad taste of three straight losses) and a very confident 6-0 shit-kicking at the Islanders.  While lines 2 through 4 remain unable to generate points (the rout over the Isles notwithstanding), Head Coach Mike Yeo continues to keep the top line of Zach Parise, Mikael Granlund and Jason Pominville intact.  Do you risk chemistry in order to provide balance to the other lines?  This week: At New Jersey and then a weekend home-and-home with Detroit.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  See, weeks like this make me wonder how far along the Woofie Dogs are.  They had only two games against middling opponents.  I would think that a team led by Kevin Love, Ricky Rubio and Nikola Pekovic would be able to win both games, but they lost at Charlotte by a dozen and then barely held on to defeat Sacramento at Target, 104-102.  And so they are stuck in tenth place in the Western Conference, 5 1/2 games behind eighth-place Memphis.  So yeah, there's no hope.

This week they're a lot busier.  They do a Texas two-step tonight (Dallas) and tomorrow (Houston), then a torturous back-to-back: Home to Phoenix Sunday, then at Memphis.

#-5: Swarm (Last Week: -7).  This is mind-boggling.  Despite dropping to 2-9 in the NLL after Sunday's overtime loss to Toronto at the X, they remain just a half-game behind Philadelphia and one game behind Vancouver for the final spot in the playoffs.  The Smarm remain viable because the league this year is in extremis: Edmonton has already secured a postseason spot because they're 10-0, while Buffalo is 8-2 and Rochester is 9-3.

But how many chances will the other shitty teams in the league give to Minnesota before it chokes it away for good?  And will they finally win a game at home when they host the Buffalo Bandits this Sunday afternoon?

#-Infinity (tie): Gopher men's and women's basketball (Last Week: -1 and -5, respectively).  It should be noted, even though it can't be verified, that it's likely both Minnesota teams were the Last Team Out, also known as, respectively, Team 69 and Team 65.

For the men, it looked bad starting the last couple weeks of the regular season, when the latest bracketology predictions ushered the Goofs out of the field.  They had one final chance to make a good impression at the B1G tournament, but the blowout lost at the hands of Wisconsin probably was the final nail in the coffin.  That the NIT named the U. their #1 overall seed makes me believe either they or SMU are the NCAA bridesmaid.  That appellation, however, should not be considered a good thing, especially after the squad had sort of a tough time putting away High Point Tuesday evening.

On the other hand, even though I didn't think they were world beaters, I thought Minnesota was in.  Charlie Creme, women's college bracketologist for ESPN.com, was right, however.  Despite not losing their first game in the conference tournament, they in fact did have to beat Nebraska in order, probably, to make it into the NCAAs.  And so the drought for Pam Borton's club, and for Pam Borton, reaches five years.

Tonight awaits a fan-induced conundrum.  I wouldn't blame the lady Goofs if they lose their WNIT first-round game at Williams Arena tonight to Wisconsin-Green Bay.  Like the men, they're in the consolation tourney.  If it's not the real Big Dance, who gives a shit?  But then, if they lose to the Phoenix, I'll be the first one going, "Why the fuck did you lose to Wisconsin fucking Green Bay?!"

Well, there's one good thing about them reaching only their respective National Invitational Tournaments: I don't have to write about them anymore.  And now begins the part of the year where the WMNSS shortens, thank God.

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