So I'm at a meeting last night. The board is paying for dinner, which is a hell of a lot of pizza. As usual there's more food than people to eat it. The guys I'm with have steady-paying jobs and aren't living check to check, so they don't need the extra pizza and leave it up to me to take or leave.
Of the three pizzas purchased, there was enough to construct another whole pizza. Damn, that's a lot of wasted pizza. We even ordered three sides of cheese bread. I don't think the place would give them to a homeless shelter at the end of the night, so even though I was all carbed out, I asked for a couple boxes and took all 12 slices of pizza, the two remaining cheese breads, and a cup of sauce to go.
And all this time I'm wondering, How the hell am I going to eat this all? I have this McDonald's coupon I plan on using (which has been further complicated because Father wants me to take him to St. Paul this afternoon), and Saturday I work at a place that provides lunch. The 'Rents might help, but a dozen slices? They could easily throw them away before I even touch my first one. Maybe grouping them up in twos and wrapping them in foil will help. They always take leftovers that are wrapped up in manageable sizes. Work for me last night.
But ... I was going to go over to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) because I hadn't visited in a while and because I wanted to finally see some part of the NBA Finals. (Hell of a game, by the way.) Just because I didn't want to deal with perfectly good pizza, I asked the first dancer to come up to me -- someone I knew -- whether she wanted some pizza. And, I really couldn't believe it, she said yes! I guess strippers don't bank as much money as I thought they do. Guess I didn't bruise her ego when I asked.
And apparently this club doesn't mind outside for the ladies even though they sell pizza here, too. She asked me to go out to the car and grab them, I went out, came back in, and even though the bouncer said, "What the hell is that!" the current manager at the time let me in. The hot stripper cleared it with him. So yay! I got the burden of a full large pizza and two cheesebreads off of my hands -- and I got the appreciation of at least one starving stripper to boot, with kisses on the cheek!!!
But ... you know, those were good pizzas. Maybe I could've had, say, half of them? Maybe a quarter? OK, OK, maybe one or two. I didn't pay for the pizzas or anything, but it would've been nice to take home, you know?
And this gift added another complication: Should I get a dance from these dancers now? I'm familiar with all four of them and have gotten dances from three of them. I was set out to get an LD from someone last night because I hadn't gotten one in so long. But then I thought, Well, if the strippers are eating a pizza, isn't that enough? Wouldn't it be overkill if I gave them food and then gave them cash just for a lapdance? And the girls weren't being aggressive with their come-hither seductions last night, so I kind of pulled back and thought, Well, you got pizza from me tonight, and I think that's enough.
Now, do they think that because I gave them pizza that that greases the way for more interaction -- and thus a seat? I hope not, but I kind of felt like after I got them pizza and they hit me up for some conversation, they kind of got the sense that I was stoning them, and so they curbed their enthusiasm and cut their losses. Those kisses could then be just a way of making nice.
God, did I do something wrong? I'll try and make it up to them in future visits, when I don't pizza to give them and have only my wallet instead.
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