My Blow-Up At Quizno's

I wanted to eat before going to the lab.  But where?

I should be on a budget.  What I have coming in as a PCA and at the U. won't be enough to cover the bills, so if I do eat out -- and really, I shouldn't -- I should always eat the value menu.  But that's so boring!

Where I usually eat, and this is kind of sad because it shows how easily manipulated I am (at least IMHO) is what's new in restaurants.  Right now, for example, the only new food item I see advertised (and I'm kind of surprised) is Arby's new mushroom-and-swiss-cheese sandwich.  I decided that is where I was going to go; in fact, when I woke up yesterday morning I thought I would go there.  But there's no Arby's close enough around me.  I would have to go a bit of ways away from my commute, and my late ass (along with getting some watermelons on sale for Mother) put the quick kibosh on that idea.

When I took my Grandmother to the produce store so she could buy shit she won't eat, I looked at the back of the receipt.  The local Quizno's, right across the street from the store (which is so close to my house I can walk here, and have) had their occasional coupon.  This one offered to lop off two bucks off a large sub or give you free chips and pop.  I take this as a sign because I see no others.

So after I dump Grandmother at home, and even though it's a bit past noon and I have less than an hour to get to the U., I want to eat, and I want to eat at Quizno's.  So I go back to the same place I went to, just about, and go inside.

Place is busy for lunchtime.  Always worry that this place will close down because I always see it when it's empty.  A Vietnamese couple runs the place, but a Latina lady, one I've seen a couple times I've been here, is helping me.  I don't come into here without a coupon because, even though the food's very tasty, it's so expensive that I deign to walk in there without some discount.

Per usual, I show the person who's about to prepare my sandwich my coupon, to make sure they know.  I wanted to try the new sub they're pushing, the Southern BBQ sub that is advertised, apparently, only in large.  Just in case, I ask her if I can use the coupon for a small Southern BBQ sandwich.

The Latina sees it, then glances over at the male owner, who was right there.  I'm dealing with two people who speak English fluently but with heavy accents.  And I hear the guy say that you can use that, but only with regular-sized sandwiches.  Hmmm, the Southern BBQ only comes in a large?  OK.

So I look over the menu and I ask for a small, uh, traditional sub because it was the cheapest.  The Latina then kinda-barked, "You must get it in a regular size."  Or at least that's what I thought she said; the combination of her accent and her quiet voice forced me to re-think what she said.  And since I was stymied a second time ordering what I want, I kind of lost it.

Why the hell can't I use it for small subs?  And why fuck won't she or he point it out to me?  Do I need to read the goddamn fine print to ... oh.  As I see the fine print it says, "Excludes small subs."  Well, that does provide the answer I need.  Of course, I'm going to act like my whiny, prideful Father when I declare that one of them should have pointed this out, or even physically showed me where it said "Excludes small subs."

For a nanosecond I wanted to walk out.  But shit, I had to eat.  So I ordered the cheapest sub available -- in a regular size.  She went through the motions: "What kind of bread do you ..."  "Wheat!" I barked.  "Lettuce, tomatoes, onions and ..."  "Yes!" I barked again.

OK, so I can't go back to this Quizno's, at least not for a while.  Yeah, I guess I should've read the fine print, although, in my defense, I had never seen such a restriction at this place before.  And so, yeah, I guess I flipped out even though I shoudn't have.