I Ran Into A Racist For The First Time In A Long Time

Oh.  My.  Fucking.  God.  I was a victim of racism tonight.

I was just walking through Uptown.  Wanted to go to the mall there.  Waited at the intersection, where an African-American woman, wearing a purple shirt and sunglasses and holding a couple CD cases, was also waiting.

All of a sudden, while I was staring ahead at the stoplight, I hear her behind me: "You Asian motherfucker."  What?

And she went on: "You think you're better than me, walking around like that?  You piece of shit.  Go back to ... doing nails or something.  Get the fuck outta my face, you motherfucker."

Oh my God.  I felt a chill go up my spine when I first heard her, but I didn't turn around and give her the satisfaction.  I didn't want to escalate the situation and play her game by saying something, so for the first time in a long time I bit my tongue and didn't start to argue.  And then I thought that she was being so over-the-top that she was putting me on, like she's intentionally trying to push my buttons for some experiment she's running, or a performance art piece she's recording.  But then she told me to get out of my face when she was still behind me.  I kind of thought she had to be crazy to be to insult me racially in public, but accusing me of getting in her face with my back towards her convinced me that, yes, she really is fucking nuts.

Thank God the light finally turned green.  I had to say something, so just before I started walking across the street, I finally looked back to her and said, "Have a nice day!"  To which she replied, "Shut the fuck up!"

I thought I handled it better than I would have in years past.  I would've thought about punching her in the face, right then and there at the intersection.  Now, I just wanted to avoid her at all costs.  I walked through the mall -- I wanted to go in just to people-watch -- but when I poked my head into the hallway leading out to the doors where I came in, she was outside!  Either she was waiting for the bus or ... goddamn, that crazy fucking lady was stalking me!

So I went out through another door, where I hung out at his used album place (another place I wanted to go to) before getting coffee and then the stripclub.  Thankfully, that racist bitch didn't follow me.

This brings back bad, and weird, memories of the last racist thing that happened to me.  It was, gosh, 10-5 years ago?  I was at a Shinders in Edina, sneak-reading stuff.  All of a sudden, this guy pushes his way past me to get a magazine I was right in front of.  "What?  What's your problem?" this crazy asshole says, and he starts shouting "Whaaaaaa!!!!!!!" -- you know, what Bruce Lee says when he's kicking ass.  Totally racist, right?  He keeps going on with that shit, then leaves.  The Shinders employee looks at him after he leaves the store.

I'm not naïve to think that I won't be jumped by a racist again.  Still, I'm shocked.  Honestly, a part of me so couldn't believe the shit this mentally ill woman was saying to me to that, during this whole incident, I thought to myself, "Well, I have something to blog about now!"

But there's a sensitive side to me, a side that doesn't understand idiots, or the sick people in this world.  That side heard what she said and still remembers, and that part of me is crying his eyes out.

Maybe I don't think she's just out of her mind.  Maybe I'm kidding myself when I say I can get over it.

The worst part about this is I really feel I should talk to my friends about what happened to me, but I'm so ashamed that I don't think I can.  It's this secret that this bitch has shamed me into keeping.  Goddamn her, I hate that.