#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3). I highly doubt they'll reach the Final Four, which is too bad considering the wave of increased popularity for women's volleyball in the wake of the exponential rise in popularity for women's college basketball. Sweeping Indiana and Maryland on consecutive evenings at the Sports Pavilion is nice, and that's why the get the top spot for this Week's WMNSS. But beating ranked clubs is where it's at, and against teams who were ranked when they faced them, the U. is 2-4. Title teams show College Volleyball Nation what they're made of then, and there hasn't been enough good results from the Gophers this season.
No needles will be moving Friday when they visit Rutgers either. But Sunday afternoon they're at third-ranked Penn St. An upset likely is not in the cards, but they'll get everybody's attention if they somehow pull it off.
#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -2). OK, you fuckers have to cool it. Yeah, you swept both Los Angeles schools after coming back to beat UCLA Saturday night at the Rose Bowl. (Man, I thought the Goofs were going to lose and my alma mater was going to win. Jesus fucking Christ, of course neither thing happened. Guess it's good I don't bet on Games anymore, huh?) You have beaten two brand-new programs that may be as bad as they have ever been in their respective programs' histories. And you're acting like you're going to The College Football Playoff (wanking motion). I remember three Weeks ago when everybody in this town was blasting P. J. Fleck for getting boatraced in the Second Half of their blowout Loss to Iowa. And he's been teasing the U. and its fans for, what, almost a Decade now? You think something huge changed about him after his squad beat a pair of tomato cans that represent a huge city in The West Coast back-to-back? Calm down. I'll bet y'all lose to Maryland in two Weeks.
#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -5). This XI really caught my attention when they upset eighth-ranked Ohio St. 3-2 Thursday in Columbus. It's the U.'s first Win over a ranked team since 2014 and their first over a top ten-ranked team since 2015. That should get them some cred; this bracketologist, on Tuesday, had the U. on the right side of the at-large bubble -- if I am reading his blog post correctly. Sadly, the side could have made it a road trip to remember by beating 20th-ranked Penn St. at Happy Valley Sunday, but they blew a 2-1 lead they built after just 15 Minutes (the first Goal being scored by Khyah Harper, who braced against the Buckeyes and now has 16 Goals on the season) and lost, 3-2.
There are only three regular season Games before the Big Ten Tournament, and luckily for the Golden Gophers, they finish the season with a homestand. They host Maryland Thursday and Indiana Sunday afternoon.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (NEW SEASON!). I'm still not over these guys blowing a 2-0 lead in the national championship Game two Years ago and losing to Minnesota-Duluth. I remember their Twitter account vowing that they'd be back. Welp, they didn't go back last season, and I doubt they'll be much better this Year.
They kicked off their season in Las Vegas and The Ice Breaker, a tournament which also included Massachusetts, Air Force and Nebraska-Omaha. Frankly, if you look at brand names, Minnesota should not stoop to the level of the other three. And yet here they are. They dominated the Falcons (that's the Air Force) Friday, 7-1, but fuckin' A, they lost to the Mavericks (that's Nebraska-Omaha) the next night in OT, 2-1. And I'm just (shrug)
Oh, look ... speaking of the Bulldogs, the Gophs travel to Duluth to play them in a two-Game series this weekend.
#-5: Lynx (Last Week: -4). I'll be completely honest with you: I have no fucking clue where to put the Lynx in the survey. They started off the screening Week advancing in Game 5 of their WNBA Playoff Semifinal series by beating Connecticut, 88-77, Tuesday at Target Center. They then won Game 1 of the WNBA Finals over The New York Liberty Thursday, 95-93 in Overtime, in Brooklyn in what may be The Greatest Playoff Game In WNBA History and The Best Basketball Game Of The Year. But last/Sunday night they lost Game 2 through a late Libs spurt, 80-66. (By the way, here's a weird stat for you: The Lynx are now 1-3 this postseason playing on Sunday and 5-0 playing on all the other days of the week.)
Yes, they stole home-court advantage after the Game 1 thriller. And playing at home means more in basketball than in any other sport. But while Minnesota closed to within two with about three Minutes left in Game 2, to me, the ensuing reaction by the Libs in blowing them out late feels more like the team the Lynx will have to overcome to win their fifth championship than the one who blew a 15-Point lead with more than five Minutes to go in regulation, blew a Free Throw that would have won it at the end of regulation, and missed a lay-up that would have sent the Game to a second OT. (OK, those last two things came only from Breanna Stewart, but apparently she came up big in Game 2, so it's that monster the Lynx will have to face here, not the one who inexplicably choked late in Game 1.)
I don't want to put this squad at the very bottom of the WMNSS just because I'm wetting my pants over them losing the Finals. But I can't put them above all the other clubs who had at least one Loss this Week because I'm not absolutely hopeful they can close out New York in Games 3 and 4 because hey, we're Minnesota. So of the five other teams that won and lost contests this screening Week ... shit, I'm just putting them in the middle.
Please win. Please.
#-6: Wild (NEW SEASON!). I have the same expectations for this organization that I had for the Vikings before they began their season: None. They are in the second of a two-Year self-imposed salary cap hell when General Manager Bill Guerin decided to trade Zach Parise and Ryan Suter and eat their huge contracts. They certainly can't make any blockbuster moves until next Year, so the organization is stuck with what they got. A lot of experts seem very high on the talent, both with the senior squad and those doing time in Iowa. I don't see it. Maybe I'm just looking ahead to only this season.
They have suffered diminishing returns to start the Year, winning in regulation at The Xcel Energy Center over Columbus in the season opener Thursday, losing at home to Seattle in a Shootout Saturday, then losing in Overtime to The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers last/Sunday night in Winnipeg. And in that last tilt, they were without Jared Spurgeon and Joel Eriksson Ek, both of whom suffered injuries in the defeat to the Kraken. The team was without those two very important pieces of big parts of the Year (and for the former for pretty much the whole Year), and goddammit, that same fucking shit is happening now. But who cares? They're not winning the Stanley Cup this Year.
This Week they finish their road trip with Games at St. Louis tomorrow/Tuesday night and Columbus Saturday night.
#-7: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). I continue to assert that when it comes to women's college hockey, it's Ohio St. and Wisconsin on top, then there's a not insignificant gap to where Minnesota is. This weekend was a sad reinforcement of that hierarchy, as they went to Columbus and lost both of their Games, 4-3 Friday and 2-1 in a Shootout Saturday. The Goofers were ranked second and the Buckeyes fourth or fifth, so it's probable this overwhelmed club will pass Ohio St. on its way down. I don't know if there is any hope these icers will win a championship, or even shake things up and compete for one. And oh, look -- the Badgers come to town for two this weekend. Maybe there will be a better showing from this now-second-tier program. Or maybe not.
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