Why I Don't Like Big Macs

Even though I do have my favorites, I'm not picky when it comes to burgers.  So long as it's hot, I think I would enjoy one.  I have realized that when evaluating burgers, what is more important to me than the taste is the, er, "integrity" of the sandwich.  Specifically, I hate it when stuff in the burger falls out.  I want to keep all the food I bought in one place, you know?

I haven't had a Big Mac in years if not decades, but McDonald's recently came out with a limited edition Chicken Big Mac.  There's a Mickey D's on the footprint of Allianz Field that will be torn down in December, so I bought a Chicken Big Mac after last/Saturday night's Match.  And when I got it, I remembered why I haven't bought it in years if not decades.  First, it's on the big side -- not bigger than my whole mouth, but it's big.  But worse than that is all the lettuce that comes with the Chicken Big Mac.  It's shredded, so naturally some of it is underneath the sandwich when I pick it up out of the paper package.  And since I deplore wasting food, I am compelled to pick up those shreds and sprinkle them on top of the bite of the Chicken Big Mac I am about to take.  That's kind of a pain in the ass.  And more annoying beyond that is the fact that it slides too much.  A Big Mac has that third bun, and apparently its surface is smooth because when I take a bite, the middle bun and some of the lettuce above and below it squirt through the back end.  I hate that.  A sandwich's contents can't just stay put, can it?

I didn't mean this to be a food review, but if you want my opinion on whether to get the Chicken Big Mac: If you're not peeved or sliding food that ends up on your table, get it.  Otherwise, don't.