He stayed home again today. He's perfectly fine, he just wants to stay home. Which means that he wins. He wins! I can't stand being in the same house with him as is, I just tolerate him once he gets home. But if he's retired? We're in the same house 24/7. I can't tolerate that. I just can't. He wins.
He confronted me again with what the fuck I wanted to do with my life. So I just spat some online/correspondence course crap to him. He is more than willing to give me the tuition money. And since I can no longer hide under his nose because he doesn't fucking work anymore, I really have to finally do something. He wins by being lazier than I and understanding I can't standing being around him. I lose. So I need to do something to get away from him again. And that's by either working or doing some school. Exactly what, I don't know.
However, let me say this: Father, I don't appreciate you casting my work aside. You ask me that it's OK if I want to be a writer. I tell you I write. Then I go to the Internet and show you an article I wrote, with my name in the byline. Then you immediately close my article. Goddamn you, Father. Was I calling your bluff? Were you really only saying it was OK, and after you actually saw me write, you changed your mind? Are you ashamed of me, Pop? Because I'm ashamed of you after you just dismiss my writing away like you don't care. Asshole.
And I still have to do something now that he's a fucking recluse. Goddamn. ...
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