My Fucking Family Is Driving Me Fucking Crazy

Grandmother is losing it now, big-time. She asked me to help her find her fucking checkbook three times yesterday, twice within five minutes of each other. I rummaged through her drawers, threw down her five checkbooks and walked back to my bedroom, only for her to waddle over and ask me where I put it. She put it away in the drawer again. She has fucking dementia, goddammit.

I go to sleep early because 1) I have to get up early and 2) Grandmother fucking wore me out yesterday. But then My Fucking Father had to cause a ruckus when I was trying to pass out. He has a biopsy next week and I got him pills. There are instructions on taking them, and he didn't exactly know what they were, so even though my bedroom was pitch black, he came up to it and asked if I was awake.

I helped him through the forms he had to sign and told him what the physician told me about the pills. I thought that was the end of it, but no, he was searching through the cupboards for extra forks, then turning the TV on really loudly, then dropping shit on the floor. When I heard a clang, I swear I thought it was Grandmother stirring shit up out there -- "How can that be," I was telling myself," I gave her a fucking sleeping pill! Swear to fucking God, My Fucking Father and My Fucking Crazy Grandmother are acting the same way now.

Oh, and while I was shutting my door My Fucking Father added, "Hey, why don't you clean your room?" As soon as we send Grandmother to her Last Home Before Death, pops.

And then I couldn't sleep. I tried going to bed at 1 when all this shit happened, and I don't think I was unconscious till 4. Having four cups of coffee after sundown didn't help. And having no fucking Internet to make me fall asleep only made my shitty night even worse.

I am losing my mind. Things are falling apart. ...