I was afraid this was going to happen. Last Friday I tried to get back on the dole online, but I knew that regulations meant the state would send me something through the mail. Ideally, I would be able to intercept that mail before my parents got to it.
Well, it came today. And I saw it because they laid it out for me right where they usually leave the mail for me. Shit.
Maybe they didn't notice. Oh, come on, me, of course they noticed. It says "Unemployment Insurance" right in front of both pieces of mail I got! Goddamn, how can I be so stupid?
You know, it's possible that they didn't pick up the mail when they got home. Sometimes -- OK, only a few times ever -- they go inside the house without picking up the mail. What I could have, should have done was checked the mail before I got home. Maybe then I could have intercepted it, and they would be none the wiser.
No, they got the mail before I even got home. So why didn't just fucking stay home? Because I was too scared to just stay home and wait for the mail because I wouldn't know when the 'Rents would come home. Then I would have to answer questions of, "Why are you home? Why don't you just go back to school?" And then My Fucking Father would tell me to help him with some chores that I don't want to do. I mean, he's virtually redecorating the fucking house. Why? It was fine just as it was.
But now, knowing that they've seen the unemployment mail, I regret that I didn't just come home early. Now I'll have other questions I have to answer -- "What is this? Unemployment? Are you back on unemployment? I thought you were working!" And the worst question of all: "Are you lying to us?"
And that's the worst: It's the questions I'm not able to answer. I know that they noticed the letters, and they will ask -- if not tomorrow, then a few months from now, when I've let my guard down, when I thought I was scot-free. They'll ask and I'll just blabber on, and then there will be one hell of a fight.
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