Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Sister and brother-in-law are coming home for two weeks (him) to a month (her), mainly to see my cousin get married.  Excited, though scared as well.  My brother-in-law is great, but it's still kind of weird to talk to someone who is not blood, let alone having someone who is not blood living with us.  But, he is family.

Three other things I'm afraid of:

  1. My Fucking Father still doesn't trust my brother-in-law, and probably never will.  He just hates people -- and that includes us.  He is contemptible towards family, so he'll be absolutely monstrous to those who are not blood.  I was not fooled when he started talking to him when we flew over to see them in Switzerland.  I'm sure there will be an incident where he's rude.
  2. Inevitably, my sister is going to ask about The Store.  Probably it'll be at the dinner table, so I won't be able to escape not knowing any information about its impending death, such as its drop-dead date. I'm being such a pussy about it, but it's been at least, uh, two months since I've seen it, and it remains very awkward to come up with a reason to go to The Store.  Maybe them coming home is reason enough.  Still, I have no way to stop what is going to be (or was) a momentous part of my life, and so I have tried to just avoid knowing.  I doubt I can avoid knowing now.
  3. Finally, I'm afraid of hearing them have sex.  I still, and forever will, see my little sister as this virginal kewpie doll.  And of course she's not; she's a full-blooded wife.  Regardless, her bedroom and my new bedroom (which I will forever see as Grandmother's bedroom) share a wall, and the vents for both I think are cut across from each other in the duct.  So if I hear bed-rocking noises and/or grunts (and my God I hope I don't hear screams), I'll be freaked the fuck out.  I might -- I might -- bang on the wall and ask, "Are you two fucking over there?!?!?!"  Hopefully they'll know that doing it at home is a terrible idea and are, like, getting their fucking out of the way before they get here.


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