I Miss My Stripper Girlfriend

I don't know if you remember *****a, but she was one of the girls from My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) with whom I had grown into a deeper relationship ... well, as deep as one can get between a john and a sex worker.  She's whip-smart, curious, and is more aligned with me politically than most of the other stripper girlfriends I've had.  If you have following WAF in the past, she's the one who once asked me, at a house party she was working, to stay because, and I quote, "I haven't seen it yet!"  And when I finally did, thank Buddha, she touched it, and me.

I have been putty in her hands since.  It was difficult to go to her place for HJs because she had this penchant for moving from place to place.  But she stood out from all my other stripper girlfriends because she was unapologetic over what she did.  She didn't air out any of her, or my, business, but she didn't shy away from her profession.  That's why I respect her.  Dammit, I will say that I love her, too.

But it's been a long time since I've been intimate with her, and she has done several things that are very uncharacteristic of her.  First of all, she has gotten quite political.  She began five years ago with George Floyd, and I thought that was really cool because I agreed with her views.  *****a has gotten quite politically active with sex work as well.  Parallel to that, she finally found a boyfriend.  I'll be honest; I wasn't too keen on it because if she is dedicating her life to someone, I cannot believe she would continue to wank me or any other guy on the side.  But I'm happy for her, if this is what she wants.

And then she ... disappeared.  I followed her on Facebook, but she apparently took that down.  I've texted her, but she hasn't replied to anything I've sent since the spring.  And I have no other way to reach her; unlike the other strippers from My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), she was not close to any of the others, so I can't reach out to a mutual and ask how she's doing.

I had the feeling *****a was, shall we say, peripatetic, but I never got the feeling that she would ghost anyone.  She was restless when it came to where she lived, obviously, and her political activism made me feel like she could be passionate to the point of being impetuous, as many political fanatics become.  But she always seemed to have a good head on her shoulders, and I never thought she would just disappear as she has.

So maybe this has something to do with family.  I fear it has something bad to do with her boyfriend.  But dammit, I miss *****a.  I miss her touch.  I miss talking to her about her sex work advocacy.  I miss admiring someone who also gives me HJs, I really do.  I hope she's OK.  And if her being OK means not seeing me again ... that'll break my heart, but that's OK, too.

Oh, It's On TV.

So there was that epic, 15-Inning, winner-take-all Game 5 American League Division Series Friday night, where Seattle finally outlasted Detroit.  I got home from the escape room (successfully, I want to add) and eating late with my sister, and I was scrolling through when I saw that the Game, which began around 7, was still going on.  I think this was around 11 p.m, and there's nothing like extra innings in playoff baseball, so I hurriedly turned on my satellite radio to hear the rest of the Game.

Hell of a Game.  Great ending.  I think I caught the last three Innings (so, since the 12th?), and both teams had ample chances to break through and score, but the Pitching and Defense came through.  And I don't mind listening to sports on the radio, don't get me wrong.  But after the Game was over and I was scrolling through social media again (aside: I have strayed from my vow to get off social media ... and frankly, I don't know if I have the willpower to stay away), I saw a tweet or a skeet that Fox signed off at around 12:48 a.m.  Fox has TV rights for the American League side of the playoffs ... and that's when I remembered that Fox/Channel 9 was showing the Game.  I could have just turned on the TV instead of my satellite radio.

How did I get used to thinking a sports Game I want to keep up with won't be on broadcast television?  Actually, now that I think about it, most Games aren't on broadcast TV.  Oh, well.

OK, *Now* I Can't Get Extra Money

I keep saying that I can't get OT from work, but it feels as though my boss really means it this time.  Following up on a meeting we all had, he emailed me Friday afternoon saying that the work is light enough whereby overtime is no longer necessary, should I should leave work for the next day.  I disagree; I think there is enough work that, if I stay only eight hours, there will be so much carryover work that the next day's work will have to be pushed back, and that will create a cascading effect that will mean tests won't get done for a day or more.  The workload ain't that light.  It might not even be light, period.

But I reckon that he saw me go over eight hours last week, capped off with me staying until 6 Thursday night.  He has said that OT is off the table off and on for a few years now, but something about this email makes me think he really, really means it this time.  Fine.  I will acquiesce.  But he did say "try to leave after eight hours," and even though I read that Friday afternoon, it still took me an extra half-hour to do all the things I felt I needed to do before I left on Friday.  I will try and start hewing to eight hours beginning on Monday, which also is the start of a new pay period.  It's a clean slate that I agree to.  Maybe.

Father's Thanking Me??

So I mowed the lawn this afternoon.  It seems as though My Father mowed the front lawn but not the back lawn.  So I mowed the back lawn and, just because, I mowed the front lawn, too.

When I got done and went back inside, My Father says, "Good job!" and pats me on the shoulder.  Even though he has thanked me before, it's rare.  So to see him be this complimentary is ... strange.  And by the way, I didn't say anything to him.  It's shocking to see him thank me.  I'm still kind of spooked.

My Biggest Accomplishment In, Oh, Years

I did my first escape room (with my sister) Sunday; we failed.  My brother set up another escape room last/Friday night ... and the four of us (we three siblings and my brother's daughter, my niece) got out!  I'm not sure exactly how we got out, and I still suspect that the, uh, overseer opened doors for us (in a literal sense) even though we hadn't yet solved the puzzles because he just wanted us to get out of there.  But we made it!  Really, I don't think I've done something so successful in a decade!

Something Fun Shouldn't Be This Fucking Inconvenient

So I am doing this escape room with my brother, sister and niece tonight.  I want to look forward to it because it's, well, a fun thing to do, and I am doing something with my siblings, and I don't remember the last time I've ever done anything fun with them, let alone my niece.

Doing it tonight, however is a pain in the ass.  I work in The Fourth Position today, all by myself.  I need to get the work done because there is nobody else doing it today, and no one doing that job at all tomorrow.  For that reason, there is a chance I will be late.  I communicated my worry with my sibs.  But instead of offering a compromise, my brother just bought the goddamn tickets for tonight on his own.  I will probably have to leave stuff for one of my co-workers to do tomorrow, and that's not a good feeling to saddle someone with work to do when you had the chance to do it yourself.  I certainly wouldn't want one of them drop crap on my lap, but turnabout is fair play, and that is what I'm going to invite if I don't do all the work by myself today.

I have a Friday off coming up.  We certainly could have done the escape room then.  I can't see why we couldn't wait and do it then.  But nope, my brother said we're playing Friday.  So I have to fucking drop every goddamn thing and race to the escape room.  And I guess I shouldn't complain too much because my brother's the one buying the tickets, huh?

Moreover, my plan was to leave work early, go home, grab my sister and then go.  Going from work to home takes me in the opposite direction of the escape room, but that seemed to be the only way for all of us to play this game.  (It also necessitated me leaving work early if need be.)  This is the part that pisses me off.  While watching my alma mater's women's soccer team, I WhatsApped my sister that if I am able to get home in time, we have to immediately leave home to get to the escape room on time.  Then, she countered that she wants to go to the mall by herself.  She needs time to do that.  And, she wants to take my car.  I would then take my parents' very old van and meet her and my brother and my niece at the mall and the escape room in the evening.  Well, shit.

Being blindsided by her decision the day before fucking sucks.  I had to spend five minutes after I got home from the soccer Match taking out all the stuff I need to drive to work (sunglasses, sun visor, tire gauge to check the minivan's tires).  Also, this is the second time this week I've had to settle on the van while she gets to drive the newer car.  I sleep for lunch, and that's very hard to do in the van because the sun streams in through the windows; it gets hot and the radiation burns my skin.  It's no problem in my car because I have window shields that are fitted for my car's windows.  I obviously don't have them for the minivan, so I will probably be tired by the time we start the escape room because I haven't had my midday nap.  But worst of all is that I have to take this minivan in afternoon rush to the Mall of America.  Truthfully, I have no reason to believe it won't make it down there and back.  But it is a very old car, and I haven't driven it that far in some time, let alone driving it during afternoon rush.  There are certain aspects of this drive that will be foreign to me, and I hate needing to "learn" like this when my sister didn't have to shop by herself, and my brother didn't have to make the escape room tonight.  In other words, I think I am going to get into a car crash, or the van's engine is going to overheat, and I will fail to make it to the escape room.  It just feels like everything is getting set up this way.

Hate this.  Hate this all.  And I'm supposed to be having fun tonight, not feeling inconvenienced!

Good news!  My Mother was told that her surgery could be moved up by nearly a whole month!  Now, am I to believe that someone just cancelled their surgery, and then the scheduler decided that My Mother, and not anyone else scheduled to have surgery, was the one to ask whether she wants her surgery done sooner?  Because, while I am glad that it now appears my parents can get out of here before the New Year, it feels as though the scheduler actually does have dates before Thanksgiving Week open; she just doesn't want to give one of those dates to My Mother unless or until she gets checked out, or is "doing the right thing," or "is on track to have a successful surgery," or something.

If that is the case, then after My Mother does her pre-op visit today/Thursday, would it then be possible she can be rescheduled even sooner -- like, oh, Monday?  Because then that would mean they would be outta here to salvage a good portion of the holiday season.  I'd have the house to myself for Christmas, my folks would be in warmer Las Vegas ... that would be a win-win!

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Went to Boston and tore apart then-13th-ranked Boston University over the weekend by scores of 5-0 and 5-2, proving once again how little the talent in women's college hockey has trickled down.  Also, this proves that, while these Gophers are capable of asserting dominance at will (and that's enough to give this squad the top spot in this screening Week's WMNSS), true success will only be accurately assessed when they play the two titans of the sport, Wisconsin and Ohio St.  The Buckeyes visit in two Weeks.  In the meantime, these Gophs get to beat up on St. Cloud St., with whom they will play a home-and-home this weekend.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -5).  Giving how easy the end of their MLS schedule is, they should be getting all the Points available.  In that light, smashing rebuilding Sporting Kansas City at Allianz Field Saturday 3-0 was exactly the thing they needed to do, and the result I needed to see.  Moreover, the two players who may be playing the best out of anyone on the XI were the goalscorers: Anthony Markanich got a Brace (including a Goal from, yes, a Set Piece), and Joaquin Pereyra continued to outwork his opponents and scored in the 59th Minute.

I only put the Loons second because I failed to see the entire standings.  The top of the West remains a tight and winning bunch.  Four teams have broken away; the three besides MNUFC (San Diego, Vancouver and LAFC) all won over the weekend.  Moreover, even though United FC are only two Points behind both San Diego and the Whitecaps, Vancouver gets to play one more Match because of delays due to other competitions that club had to play earlier in the Year.  Finally, LAFC is only two Points behind the Loons, and also because of other competitions, they have two Games to make up.  I think MNUFC are a very good club, but they could finish the regular season only fourth in the West.

Those make-up Games are coming between now and the 18th, when United FC finish the regular season at The Los Angeles Galaxy.

#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -6).  Think of how badly the vibes around this team would be if, after spending ten Days playing back-to-back Games in the British Isles, they came home with a pair of Losses.  They avoided that fate by clawing back to defeat Cleveland at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium Sunday morning, 21-17, to get to 3-2.  The winning score came from a pass from Carson Wentz, who was injured for a short time during the Game, to Jordan Addison, who was benched to start the contest because, apparently, he missed a walkthrough during the team's stay at a palatial estate 90 miles north of London leading up to Sunday.  Add this to his DUI conviction, and it's becoming apparent that, sadly, he is a bit of a headcase who cannot be relied upon.  I can see the Vikes moving on from Addison after his rookie contract is up and finding a new #2 for Justin Jefferson.

I think Bye Weeks should be doled up with more intention.  This will screw up the schedule making, but I want to see teams choose which Bye Week to take based on the finishing order of the previous season.  So, for example, the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles would choose their Bye Week first, then The Bastard Dallas Texans second, and so on.  Regardless, the Vikes were given this upcoming weekend off, and considering they have so many people on Injured Reserve, this break cannot happen soon enough.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (NEW SEASON!).  I can't think of a time where the men's college hockey season has started this early.  Anyway, the Gophers began it by doubling up Michigan Tech at Mariucci Arena Friday, 6-3 ... then followed it up by losing to the Huskies Saturday, 5-3.  This is a season of change in the sport: Players from the Canadian junior leagues, who were heretofore forbidden to ever play in college hockey in the States, can now do so freely (and vice versa, and for all I know a student can hopscotch from one to the other).  That opens up another avenue in the arms race, but I don't know if the U. has taken advantage of that.  Regardless, splitting at home to a CCHA school ain't a great way to start.

But at least they're not shying away from competition.  Boston College, who is ranked either tenth or eleventh depending on which poll you look at, comes to town for showdowns tomorrow/Thursday and Friday.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  What is going on with this program?  The Gopher volleyballers of old would not lose at an unranked Michigan club, let alone in four Sets.  What's more distressing is the way they lost that Game last Wednesday: They won the First Set, 25-18, but then got dismantled over the next three, scoring only twelve, 14 and twelve Points.  The hell?

They defeated Northwestern Sunday in Evanston, but it's Northwestern, and worse, they lost a Set to the perennially undermanned Wildcats program, and they struggled to close them out, too.  They won Set 2, 25-22, then lost Set 3, 25-17, then had to go a bit over extra time to finally close them out in the fourth, 26-24.  This is a team that is struggling to put away opponents they should be sweeping with ease.  And there is a sign that the fanbase is starting to notice as well.  I am seeing what time my alma mater plays the U. next month.  I thought volleyball tickets always sell out, but someone from my alumni group actually looked at the online ticket map and saw that there were dozens of seats available for that Match.  I would go, and not only would I root for my alma mater ... I think my alma mater will win.  That's how far the U. has fallen.

Host UCLA tonight/Wednesday night and Ohio St. Sunday.

#-6: Gopher football (Last Week: -4).  Yeah, for all my talk about how P. J. Fleck has introduced a level of success that has made the fanbase grow expectations for the program and how that's good, he is still miles away from getting the Gophers back to their ancient perch of being a national contender like they were six decades ago, and getting 14-timed at the #1 team in the nation, Ohio St. (by which I mean the final score was 42-3), is both disappointing and very, very expected.  But at least they have Homecoming coming this Saturday, and it's against a squad they should beat, Purdue.  Also, at least they aren't the ... 

#-7: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -7).  ... who continue to flounder, currently sporting a conference record of one Win, one Draw and four Losses after getting their brains beat in in the Border Battle at home versus then 24th-ranked Wisconsin, 3-0.  I see that the Badgers were ranked, but couldn't the Golden Gophers mount any fight?  Oh, well, that should mean my alma mater should win handily when they play the U. on Thursday.  Fourth-ranked UCLA then visits Sunday afternoon; while that Match ends the Goofers' three-Match homestand, it looks as though they could lose every single one, and there's the potential that each Game could be a bloody, embarrassing one.

Got Busted Not Flushing The Toilet

OK, now I really need this place all to myself.  My sister busted me for not flushing the toilet after peeing.

I was fake taking a shower, and even though I was on the toilet, I didn't pee much.  And I swear, when I looked into the bowl, it was wholly white.  There was no yellow; it didn't look like I did anything in there.  So, as is my wont when it's late at night and I don't want to wake the 'Rents downstairs, I let it mellow until I pee again after I wake up.  Yes, I am aware my sister is here.  I thought I could slip it by her.  Besides, I didn't hear any commotion from her room.  I thought she was asleep.

But goddammit, she wasn't!  As if she heard me "take a shower" but not flush the toilet, after I got done in the bathroom, she immediately goes in.  (Also, not for nothing, My Father came upstairs to tool around in the kitchen for some reason.  A lot of commotion at night, inexplicably.)  And afterward, she texted me to "remind me" to flush.  She said she saw pee in there, though I still believe she was suspicious I "showered" but didn't "use the toilet."  Hrmph.

This is the sign that this house is too crowded, but then again, if she left, I would have to help My Mother with rehab, and I ain't doin' that.  One other thing: If I am right in thinking she is minding what I do and don't do while I'm by myself, no way can I get away with masturbating.  Dammit, no peace!

Tea Does Not Go With Steak, That's Fucking Ridiculous

I have resolved to drink more tea, and possibly more tea than coffee.  My parents and sister drink it religiously, and knowing the health benefits, I should probably get into it a lot more.  But that doesn't mean I want to drink it with everything, like I was forced to last/Sunday night.

My Fucking Mother detected this bug that I picked up watching my alma mater at a bar and told my sister to give me tea.  And she did it again last/Sunday night, but this was when we were having a steak dinner.  I don't care, tea doesn't go with steak.  I drank it because I need to fucking keep the peace around the house, but it's bullshit to even think that tea goes with steak.  I had a Coke waiting for me inside the fridge, and I was going to drink that with my steak because that's a perfect marriage of food and drink.  But tea and steak ... pffft.  The taste of each ruins the other.  There's a time and place for tea and a time and place for steak.  That time and place are not together.  But that's what I friggin' had last night.

I shouldn't be so mad at this.  But I am.  So, to passive-aggressively rebel, I ate nuts about an hour ago and washed it down with that Coke I wanted to drink for dinner.  So there.

Liquid Glass? More Like Liquid Ass!

So I updated the operating system on my iPhone to iOS 26, the really advanced one I think people are calling "Liquid Glass."  I see some changes, but after the update the change I have seen the most is that it is draining the life out of my iPhone battery at an alarming rate.  When I got this phone Easter 2024, I noticed that the battery was so bad (and I think it's a 13) that I have had to charge it almost daily.  Upon the advent of iOS 26, just now I charged my iPhone for the second time today.  And I think it's the second time I've done it since the update.

It can't be the battery.  It went to crap right at the exact same time I updated to the new OS?  I don't think so.  It has to be the operating system.  When I, for example, take my morning break at work in the bathroom, I am scrolling and doomscrolling (even though I am vowing not to do the latter).  Before the update I saw the count decrease on the battery icon too fast for my liking.  Now, that number is in freefall, and all I'm doing is the same thing I've always done.  I checked the maximum battery life on my 13.  It slipped from 90% to 89%.  That can't be causing my battery's current meltdown.

It's not as if I'm going to restore the old OS.  I wouldn't know how if I wanted to.  So now I have to be super conscious of charging my cellphone, or not use it as often.  And now I also have to worry about the two powerbanks I use to charge my phone.  They're getting a vicious workout that might wear them out.

I have to note that it's been unseasonably hot around here this week.  It was in the low-to-mid eighties earlier this week, but this weekend will really bring the heat: We have and will reach 90.  Thank Buddha it isn't humid (or at least too humid), otherwise it would be completely oppressive.  I can't cool down without the fan, but we haven't turned on the air conditioning, and I don't think we will need to by the time the temperatures plummet some time Sunday.

In the meantime, I was strolling through the Friday Open Thread on online alternative weekly Racket.  This week's topic: What is your hot take when it comes to food?  There were a lot of comments, I read them all, and then I think I spent an hour spilling all of mine.  I spent so much time crafting my post that I missed the 2 a.m. cutoff for staying at Day 7/400% on Zynga Poker.  Back to square/Day 1.  Oh, well.

Fuck, They're Gonna Be Here Forever ...

First of all, I was wrong about what Mother has.  She doesn't have sciatica in her hip; she has a torn meniscus.  Ouch!  And second of all, the worst-case scenario is happening.  You don't magically go in, have knee surgery, and leave the same day like it's outpatient surgery.  In fact, I know that they need to be scheduled, and they need to be scheduled weeks in advance.

And goddammit, that's the case here.  My Mother is getting surgery Thanksgiving Week.  And as I feared, there is going to be a minimum of eight fucking weeks before she can fly out of here.  Moreover, there is an entire schedule of visits -- a couple before the surgery, many rehab and physical therapy sessions after it -- that have to be assembled around the surgery date.  I totally get that, but the fusillade of post-op sessions, not to mention the date of the surgery itself, means that ... goddammit, they're going to be here through January.  Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Everything is ruined, man, everything.  This obviously means I won't get to hang out with my wang out during the holiday season.  Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's -- I'm going to have to holster my pee-pee, continue to hide my porn, and worry about how they fucking feel.  (I know that at some point I'll be bursting to go to a stripper party and get turned out by a stripper.  It's just so weird to do it while My Fucking Parents are in town.)  I can't make cocktails for myself for four months.  I won't have the mental space to figure out the storage situation, which is still up in the air, and since they probably will leave in late January, it doesn't give me much time to figure out a drastic plan if my current situation is no longer tenable.  I have a lease through the end of March, and I might have to haul shit out of a 5' x 5' stall, and that will take a lot of time.

And yeah, sure, what really matters is how My Mother feels.  I need to know her schedule because, shit, I have to help out when I can.  Problem is is that with work, I don't know how much I can be of help.  I don't think I can drive her to every single rehab visit she'll have.  And this is wintertime -- what happens if there is a huge snowstorm on a day she's supposed to go in for physical therapy?  Fuckin' A, I really didn't want her to do this here in Minnesota.  I mean, I think the health system here is much better than most other places, but she needs to walk around after getting her knee fixed, and she can't do it in the snowy and icy roads of a Minnesota winter.

Worse than that is my sister.  I honestly thought that she would be the one helping Mother rehab.  She's not doing anything now, so she has the time to assist her with her exercises and taking her to physical therapy.  But, and I need to talk to her about this, now that we have a surgery date, it looks as though she is making plans to leave.  Dammit, man, I hate that all of this planning might fall on me.  I'm too much of a dick to be of any use.  And knowing My Mother will be in pain means that she will become a huge pain-in-the-ass the first week or so after surgery, where I'm told the pain will be at its worst.  I will have to deal with a bitch for the next four goddamn months, yet I don't know how to handle a bitch who is in physical pain.

The only solace I have is that My Mother is on a waitlist.  If there is a cancellation, this surgery can be moved up.  And My Mother wants this surgery done, like, yesterday.  If by some miracle this can be done next week (and I wonder if that's even possible given that there are two pre-op visits; doesn't there have to be some time between these visits and the surgery?), we all would jump at the chance.  But it probably won't happen, which means I'm fucking stuck with these two reasons I want to kill myself.

Oh, I Need To Care About Other People's Feelings Now ...

I love my sister, and I'm glad she's home, even if it's not under the brightest of circumstances.  But it takes dim old me, who's been doing his own thing socially for a long time now, to recalibrate because, of course, your sis wants to do things with you.  And you realize that, hey, you want to do things with her, too.

The problem is that I have a bunch of days I've already planned for doing stuff, so that means that there are way fewer days for us to do stuff.  Also, I have no idea how long my sister is going to be here.  Finally, she laid out a series of things she wants to do, and I am still thinking about what to do with her and, even more importantly, when.  That is difficult.  For example, Saturday might have been a good time, but I have an eye appointment in the afternoon and I'm going to the MNUFC soccer Match that night.  I'm going to another soccer Match next week.  And I have sporting events I'm working on that'll also take up much of my time.  Meanwhile, she wants to go here, and there, and maybe even up north, and that'll take up a weekend, and I don't know if I have a weekend free.

Still, I need, and want, to take some time I would have reserved for myself and devote it to her.  Contrast that to considering the feelings of My Fucking Father, who blew a gasket and insulted me because I dragged the trash bin to a part of the driveway he deemed too close to the recycling bin.  He thinks those bins have to be as far apart from each other as possible.  Yeah, because the garbage truck and the recycling truck can't tell which bin to pick up if they're too close.  That asshole actually went out and dragged the trash bin to the other side of the end of the driveway.  That's weird.  What makes it even stupider is that he did that as my sister and I had started up my car because we were going to the library.  My Fucking Father dragged the trash bin behind where we would back down the car.  If my sister didn't negotiate around the trash bin, if she just backed down the driveway like any normal human being, we would've hit the bin.  But My Fucking Father absolutely had to move it there, and he couldn't at least fucking wait until we had left.  Childish son-of-a-bitch.

See, I don't want to care about what My Fucking Father thinks.  But I do want to care about what my sister thinks.  See the difference?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Wild (NEW SEASON ALMOST!).  This sports town was starving for good sports news, especially after that horrible triple abortion of the Jynx, Twinks and ViQueens all losing on Sunday.  Tuesday made news off of the field of play, not on it, but I'll take good news as it comes.  The Naphessa Collier Riot Act read-out is one thing, but we have to talk about Kirill Kaprizov, who signed an eight-Year, $156 million contract extension to stay with the Wild, which is, by far, The Biggest Contract In The History Of The National Hockey League.  This helps crowding out bad memories of all your teams losing.

Now, reports surfaced that in the end, Mild General Manager Bill Guerin was negotiating against himself.  That's why this contract has an Annual Average Value (AAV) or $17 million.  Now, this will raise skepticism, if not full-on night terrors, from those who feel screwed by the first time the Mild made waves in Hockey Nation with the Independence Day signing of Zach Parise and Ryan Suter.  During their press conference, everybody up on the dais promised multiple Stanley Cups.  Obviously, they didn't do shit, and eventually became drains to the franchise's salary cap and a cancers in the locker room.  So why double down on one guy, and one who is injury-prone like Kaprizov is?  Why not trade him and get draft picks, players who can help now and prospects who could really help later?

That's a great question, to which I say: First off, while the buck has to stop with Owner Craig Leipold, the one who okayed that double signing, you have to place a lot of the blame on Parise and Suter for not doing their part in bringing The State Of Hockey a Stanley Cup.  Beyond that, you have to consider the current sports climate in Minnesota.  Would you really accept not signing a player the franchise drafted and saw turn into a superstar to a huge contract just because he wanted a hell of a lot of money?  I think a lot of people are sober to the possibility that Kaprizov cannot deliver Stanley Cups ... but they had to sign him to that high of a contract anyway because you always take care of your own, and besides, could the organization deal with the fallout of trading a Top 10 player in the league?  No, and if anything bad happens, you deal with it in the later Years of the contract ... you know, just like Guerin did with Parise and Suter.  So even though I think suspicion is warranted that Kaprizov's long-term extension will lead the Mild to the promised land, I think good news like this is more than enough to top the survey this screening Week.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (NEW SEASON!).  Started their season sweeping Boston College at Ridder Arena by scores of 7-1 and 11-0.  You know, I haven't heard of a Boston College women's hockey team till now, even though they sound like they should be one of the elites of the sport.  Considering the lopsided scores, are they new?

OK, so they're off to a good start.  But they have to go to Beantown this weekend to face the other big Boston program, Boston University, for two Matches.

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Swept both Michigan St. and Rutgers at Maturi to start off B1G play on the right foot.  But they will go on the road to play Michigan (tonight/Wednesday night) and Northwestern (Sunday afternoon); will they stumble away from Dinkytown?

#-4: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  See you think a P. J. Fleck-coached team would whip a club like Rutgers as a matter of course.  But even after coming off a Bye Week, they had to scratch and claw their way to a 31-28 Win over the Scarlet Knights.  I was hoping weak competition would be easier to overcome.  But there might be no overcoming this Saturday night; they are at #1-ranked Ohio St.  Say a little prayer for the U. players donning uniforms for this one.

#-5: United FC (Last Week: -Infinity).  A wicked Rafael Santos Free Kick into First Half Stoppage Time by The Colorado Rapids was answered on a howitzer by the IDGAF stylings of Nectarios Triantis in the 65th Minute, and the Loons tied the Rapids at 1 on Saturday.  I guess you could say that since MNUFC tied it up, it kind of feels like a Win, and when you look at the rest of The Western Conference, it kind of is.  They are in third, but only two Points behind both San Diego FC (who lost at home to San Jose) and Vancouver (who drew with Seattle).  They are only two Points ahead of hard-charging LAFC, but it looks as though United FC has the easier closing stretch to deal with.  This Saturday they host Sporting Kansas City, who are next to last in the West.  Getting second or even first in the West is not beyond their reach ... well, beside the fact that this is a Minnesota sports team we're talking about.

#-6: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  This is what I was afraid of: We all thought the Vikes were a really good squad because they historically beat down Cincinnati the previous Sunday, when, as evident in their 24-21 Loss to Pittsburgh in The First-Ever NFL Regular Season Game In Ireland (Dublin to be exact), that rout was a product of one otherwise unimpressive journeyman having the Game of his life which led to a Game getting away from the Bengals.  This is the true Vikings: A Quarterback that could not live up to his early hype, a battered Offensive Line (once again), and a Defense that is also more bark than bite.  I still cannot fathom how a team that has so many question marks (foremost among them being at QB) could be in win-now mode.  Because this is the downside of deciding this is the goal despite all the many headwinds.

Remember that Minnesota is the first team in NFL history to play back-to-back Games in Europe: They play Cleveland in London Sunday morning.

#-7: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Hey, all of you, not good -- their losing streak is at three now that they lost 2-1 to Michigan St. at Robbie Stadium and 1-0 at Michigan.  Yeah, another season of missing the NCAAs is now a viable possibility, especially since 24th-ranked Wisconsin comes to town early Saturday evening.

#-Infinity (tie): Twins and Lynx (Last Week, respectively: -4 and -5).  I really shouldn't go on and on about The Failure Couple here because I need to go to bed (just got back home from the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club concert) and if I do go on and on, I'll just spiral like I'm doomscrolling.  So I will start with the Twinks, who ended their miserable, self-sabotaged season at 70-92 and fired (or put out of his misery, either/or) Manager Rocco Baldelli.  They became forgettable after they started freefalling in the summer; they became irrelevant when they lit their own goddamn team on fire and sold almost everybody worth giving a shit about.  They now head to the offseason with only two major leaguers under contract.  One of them isn't Joe Ryan, and even though he has the stuff to be this organization's ace, he might be an ace for another team if, as obviously practice now, he gets traded for minor leaguers under team control.

What has been really upsetting is that one of the Pohlads (doesn't matter which one) sat down for an interview with a Twinks beat writer upon the death of his club's season.  He actually is acting as if there is some masterplan to make this squad a championship one in the near future.  Bullshit.  The Pohlads have decided they're going to be The Pittsburgh Pirates of The American League, and there will be enough suckers hoping Byron Buxton retires a Twin that will feed the bottom line year after year after pathetic year.  That is the goal now: To be a major league version of The St. Paul Saints.  I wonder if I should even cover them.

And then we have the Jynx.  There will be a lot of talk about her after-season press conference, where Napheesa Collier basically read WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert for filth over, among other things, the shitty officiating which led to her season-ending injury during the WNBA Semifinals against The Phoenix Mercury.  It wasn't just about the injury, I get it, but honestly, it wouldn't make sense to rip Engelbert a new asshole if it wasn't the shitty officiating which led to her season-ending injury and, to be quite frank, the end of the Jynx's season.

But both things can be true.  The Jynx were fucked by awful officiating ... and the Jynx absolutely fucking failed in winning a fifth WNBA Championship they were supposed to be destined to win.  They finished with the best record in the W by several Games.  They had the highest-rated Offense and Defense in the league.  And not only did they not win a title, they didn't even make it to the fucking WNBA Finals.  And not only did they lose to Phoenix in the WNBA Semifinals, they didn't even make it to five Games (this Year is the first Year the Semis are best-three-out-of-five).  And not only did they not make it to five Games, they had a Fourth Quarter lead in all three Games they lost.  They choked in this series because they choked in all three Games they fuckin' lost.  The unflappability, the poise that was the supposed hallmark of this team, the special glue that many pundits pointed to as the reason they were anointing the Jynx as WNBA Champions, fucking evaporated.  Yeah, it looks as the Mercury got away with fucking up Collier and the refs didn't do a goddamn thing about it (and by the way, even though Phee might be pointing her guns at Engelbert, don't forget to drill down to trees level and throw shit in the face of the dirty Mercury who, you know, broke her ankle.  Fuck them, they'd better fuckin' lose).  But they were supposed to be head and shoulders above everyone else.  And they blew it.  They just fucking collapsed.  And I have to show appreciation for this goddamn team?

To top it all off, I didn't know most of the players are Free Agents.  I hate saying this, but that Game 2 chokejob to Phoenix not only broke this team, but this organization.  Time to blow it all up, because if this fucking team couldn't deliver to this state a championship everyone could be proud of, it ain't never gonna happen.  Jesus Fucking Christ.  #MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA

A Lot/Too Much Coffee

So yesterday/Monday was National Coffee Day, and I decided that out of the two gas stations that offered me free coffee, I would go to the closer one because there free coffee was any size.  I got a large because ... well, I guess I didn't look for an extra large, maybe because it wouldn't fit in the cup holders in my car, but a large was plenty.  As it was brewing at the automatic coffee brewer, I stepped back and looked at the huge large cup and went, "Whoa, even for a large, that cup is, uh, large."  Seriously, even for American sizes, I think the cup I got should be an extra large.

And, of course, I didn't finish it.  A lot of it has to do with work; The Third Department was its usual bear.  But I still think I drank more coffee than I usually do; it's just that I had a very large pool of coffee to get through, and I didn't.  See, I have my own thermal bottle in which I always pour my coffee into to keep it warm.  Even after I did that, the cup from the gas station was two-thirds full.  I managed to drink everything that was in that cup, but barely anything I poured into my thermal bottle.

And that is where it stayed until just now.  Even though I'm not hungry, even though I had popcorn and Coke while watching Bride Of Frankenstein (nice movie; like the allegory of the Monster being misunderstood and even the meek in biblical terms ... oh, and the cinematography was excellent) about five hours beforehand, and even though I need to go to sleep, I drank some of the coffee still in my bottle to wash down a cookie I got working the Vikings Game that is 370 calories.  Damn, I need to watch my blood sugar.  Oh, well, I think I can contemplate how to lower that, and cut down on my weight, tonight because I will be tossing and turning in bed all night.

And I still haven't drank all of the coffee from my thermal bottle.  Most of it's still in there.  In fact, I think I have enough to tide me over through work today/Tuesday.  It'll be lukewarm, but heck, if it's going to be as busy in The Third Department today as it was yesterday, it'll be more than enough.

I Should Try Getting Off Of Social Media

Well, ever since the Jynx lost in Game 2 on Tuesday I was dreading the worst.  And I knew that if I came across bad news, I would do so while scrolling through Twitter or Bluesky.  So I did my best to stay off of them.  I think I've blog posted before that the urge to look was strong, so strong that I think I'm addicted to it.  But, I did.

And you know what?  I didn't feel bad.  The feeling that I was missing out on something was still there, believe me.  But that subsided since I started my self-ban.  Moreover, I was able to concentrate more on watching TV.  I have complained about missing key plays (such as Goals in soccer) because I would always take even a short lull in play to pick up my phone and start looking.  Yesterday/Sunday, knowing I wanted to say away from all things Jynx, I just curled up in my bed and watched the NFL ... well, when I wasn't passed out and taking naps.  Those are good ways to note doomscroll, too.  But all day I went without checking social media, and I felt alright.

Alas, since I do The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, at some point I had to learn about what happened.  I was going to wait till today/Monday to hear any montage from The Common Man Progrum to tell me.  When I reached for my phone to see how charged it was, a notification from The Athletic app told me what I had feared, indeed the worst-case scenario: Minnesota indeed lost Games 3 and 4 and were summarily eliminated from the WNBA Playoffs.  My full autopsy on this abortion of a season will go up on Tuesday, but suffice it to say, this is one of the all-time chokejobs in Minnesota sports history.

With that seal broken, I declared the self-ban broken, and I went back on Twitter and Bluesky again.  This time I knew full well that not only did I want to see a reason as to how the Jynx fucked up this championship run, I wanted to see tweets and skeets reflecting my hate of this failure of a team -- "Yeah, anonymous person whom I don't even know could be a Russian bot -- insult all of those worthless players!  You dumb motherfuckers fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!"  And then I saw the litany of tweets and skeets about what Trump did and said, and all the ICE raids happening in the country, and all the rude and mean things Republicans said and did over the weekend ... and then I remember that whenever I go on social media, I get very upset and angry.  In fact, social media is engineered to get you upset and angry.  And then I remembered how I felt since Tuesday, when I just didn't go on social media.  Sure, the urge to see what I was missing out was there.  But I was a hell of a lot less upset and angry.  And now, come to think of it, being clued into what I'm missing out on isn't worth the rage that boils inside me whenever I scroll.

I liked how I felt when I wasn't constantly going through social media.  And maybe this will cost me being a more attuned sports fan and American citizen, but I don't know if I want to do it anymore.  Maybe these past few days of being clueless is actually beneficial to my soul ... and maybe I should stay off of it, permanently, for my health and mental well-being.

You know what sucks?  Being eliminated from a fantasy game because you forgot.  I entered two Eliminator fantasy games that my friend is running.  Eliminator games are games where you pick one NFL team to win every week in the regular season.  If that team loses, you're out.  The trick is that you can only pick a team once.

Very intriguing idea.  Whoever thought that up, and I think this was only this side of the millennium, needs to be in the Pro Football Hall Of Fame or something.  But if you don't put in a team every week, you are automatically eliminated.  And that's why I did, or didn't do, in the second Week of the NFL season.  I was busy and distracted, and I knew I had to do my ESPN Eliminator, and I did, but I forgot I signed up for my friend's other Eliminator game on Yahoo! Sports.  I was able to remember doing the ESPN Eliminator on my ESPN Fantasy app, but I forgot to do my Yahoo! Eliminator on my Yahoo! Sports Fantasy app.  And that is ironic also because I don't have anything going on fantasy-wise on ESPN, but all my fantasy football teams are on Yahoo! Sports.  So why didn't I just look through my fantasy teams and then go on and do the Eliminator?  Maybe because I forgot I had an Eliminator through Yahoo!  (sigh)

I used to do Eliminators with money, and I forgot to make my weekly pick, so I got eliminated in pools in which I sank money.  And that was just wasting money, so I stopped doing that.  Maybe I should just, you know, remember to do them?  Nah, I'll probably forget.

Some Fucker Gave Me This ... Whatever I'm Feeling

So I was hosting my alumni event yesterday/Saturday when my new-found friend told me something interesting: He says he has gotten over a cold.  I remember telling all of you that this ailment I'm still suffering from I think I got last Saturday, when I was also hosting my alumni event.  There was only three of us.  The third person, who I thought was going to be there yesterday/Saturday, was not.  My new-found friend, who looks to be close friends with this third friend, texted him.  And this third friend said he is still in bed because he hasn't been feeling well all week.

Huh.  So my guess in that blog post that whatever I've come down with I got Saturday at this bar probably is true because the two other people I was with also came down with something.  Honestly, I thought what I came down with I got from one of these two dudes.  Still could be the case; I'm no epidemiologist.  But this gives more credence the possibility that someone within our vicinity was sick and gave us this virus or bacteria or whatever.  Come to think of it, while I was there, we had to deal with a bunch of rowdy young White dudes who were on this side of out of control.  This group dropped at least two glasses of beer between them.  And I overheard one of them use the word "retard."  Those signs put together make me think that none of those douches were really conscientious about staying home if they felt a tickle in their throat.

Just used another (expired) COVID test.  The first one was negative, but that was five days ago, and again, these tests may be expired.  Also, I drank some NyQuil just now.  I don't have to be anywhere today/Sunday, so I'll just hope this knocks me the eff out so my body can work on expelling whatever is continuing to make my nose run.

It took me two fucking weeks to finally find an eye appointment at The Mall Closest To Me ... and I showed up late.  I thought I had time to get cash and buy motor oil, but goddammit, apparently it took me 19 fucking minutes to drive six fucking miles, and then it took me another five goddamn minutes to get to the eye shop.

The worst part about it is that they actually enforced my no-show.  I was afraid they wouldn't, but I don't remember the last time anybody did.  Maybe when I showed up late at my test scoring job?  But they turned me away.  And I barely hid my frustration.  I mean, you can still fucking do my eye exam, can't you?  But no, and I guess I could've come earlier, whatever.

I paid money for vision insurance this year, and I might as well use it, but obviously the year's getting late.  And I'm not going back to this place -- not after how they treated me, even if I guess it was my fault.  So I'm going to another mall and their eye shop.  Unfortunately, it'll be a month from now.  I should get there in plenty of time, and then I'll just, like, walk around.  Anything to get this damn eye exam in.

I Chose Alcohol Over Getting Fucked

I decided, oh, last week that last/Friday night I was going to my favorite speakeasy in town after work.  It felt like the right thing to do before my sister comes home for an undetermined amount of time.  Plus, I want to maintain my status as a semi-regular, and it had been a couple months since I stopped by.  So yes, this was basically a planned thing.

However, earlier this week, one of my stripper girlfriends, ****e, who I have not seen in a long while, texted that she and another stripper girlfriend, ***i*, is doing a house party also last/Friday night.  Getting freaky with sexy ladies who are down to fuck around is my jam, and that too is something that I should do before my sister comes back to town because, well, doing such shit while she's in town seems kind of yucky.  (If she stays here for several weeks, though, I probably will change my mind and get my freak on.  I am an old man, but I do have carnal pleasures that need to be indulged, and I don't know how long I can hold out if she's going to be here for a long time.)  But ... I wanted to spend my night drinking.

I didn't spend a whole lot of angst deciding between the two.  If I were to do only one thing, it would be the speakeasy.  It's what I had my heart set on.  Also, as big as the checks that come with eating and drinking there might be, it's a lot less than what I would have spent on sexytime with one or two women.  Finally, there was the commute I had to consider: The speakeasy is in south Minneapolis, so it's not close to work, but I think I can get there faster than to north Minneapolis, where the party's at, especially during afternoon rush hour.

With all that said, I was hoping beyond hope that if I got out of work early enough, and if I went to and left the speakeasy early enough, I could get to the party at its tail end, and so I would be able to do both.  Alas, it was not to be.  I stayed about 90 minutes past what I should have at work.  (This should be its own blog post that I will probably expound upon once it becomes more of a problem: My boss is making a renewed effort to cut down on overtime by having a second person come in early a following workday in order to do all the stuff in The Third Department we should be leaving the previous workday, if that makes sense.  I maybe should have followed that yesterday/Friday so I could leave after eight hours and do everything I wanted to do, but 1) there isn't a second person coming in early on Saturdays, 2) there wasn't a second person to help me in The Third Department yesterday/Friday, and 3) I am set in my ways and decided to finish everything by myself anyway.)  Also, I need cash money to go to the stripper party, and I didn't think I had time to run to an ATM to grab some.

And yet ... when I got to the speakeasy, it looked like both ****e and ***i* called me, or at least butt-dialed me.  I texted them that I probably wouldn't make it by the time the party was over.  They said they could stay a little bit after.  But by then I was deep into my second cocktail, and I don't know if it was me being tired over the course of the day or my old age, but I got super sleepy, too tired to even attempt to get to an ATM and then to the party which may or may not have been over.  So I said no, sorry, it won't work.  I was at the speakeasy for almost two hours.  I got to my car, slept for half an hour, woke up because I needed to pee, then went to the arcade close to the speakeasy so I could use its bathroom and eat a pizza.

And now, to be honest, I wonder if I made the right decision.  I haven't seen these two women in a while, and they are both crazy as fuck.  It would have cost me a pretty penny to be jobbed by them, and the last time I got HJs from two women at the same time it wasn't all that great.  But maybe these two would've been better, and maybe they would have cost me less.  Also, I can only say no to them for so long before they stop letting me know about parties they're working.

If they had told me last week they were doing this party, maybe my plans would be different.  Dammit, man, I am paralyzed by indecision and regret.

Don't Ever Be A Sports Fan

Ever since the Jynx choked Tuesday and lost home-court advantage, I have been in a bad mood.  Well, moreso than usual, and that includes the meddling, I-know-what's-best-for-you bullshit I've been dealing with from My Fucking Parents for the last goddamn month.  But I'm upset, and I shouldn't.  Why?  Because it's fucking sports.

Yes, I'm a fan.  But it's not as if these players know who the hell I am.  And I could easily ignore what's going on with the Lynx and live my life in peace.  Instead, I allow this to affect my attitude, my behavior, and my day.  If you step back and think, that is both reckless and stupid.

I have married that seething anger with a fear in anticipation for today.  Game 3 is tonight, and if the Jynx lose and go one Loss away from being eliminated in a season where they were far and away the best team (that we don't celebrate teams for being the best over the course of the regular season is purely an American thing; if this were any soccer league elsewhere in the world, there would be trophies raised and parades on the street for the Lynx already, but that's a blog post for another time) ... man, I will hate the man I will become.  And then I will hate myself further for allowing myself to have my life influenced by the results of a sports team.

These are the times when I curse myself for loving sports so much.  Because if and when my teams lose, the pain and anger that well up inside me -- which is often venerated as a characteristic of "a true fan" -- is something I can't shake for a long time.  You can say that it's worth it when they win a championship, but this is Minnesota -- we don't win championships here.  So it's all just pain and anger.  And I stepped into this realm, and I am too stubborn and/or stupid to step out of it.

I guess you're going to have to save me by winning, Lynx.  See how pathetic that sounds, asking a bunch of people who don't know you from Adam to win so I can feel better?  Don't ever be a sports fan.

Sensitive Content?

My last blog post, my weekly Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, was given a warning by Blogger.  Why?  Sensitive content.  Sensitive content?

I have had this warning from time to time before.  It has been a while, but for that while, several of my blog posts were flagged.  I had somewhat of an idea that it had to do with my descriptions of encounters I've had with my stripper girlfriends, but I wasn't quite sure. To be free of the warning, I re-did some of the blog posts to edit out the graphic (or what I think were the graphic) words, then submitted them to Blogger again for a review.  I think a couple of my blog posts were cleared and allowed to publish freely.  I don't know about the rest of them.  And honestly, there have been more than several where I thought I would circle back to them to see what was "wrong" with them, but then I just forgot.

So I was reviewing my WMNSS, and then I looked at the warning note.  I don't know whether the action taken by Blogger changed or if I just didn't read it close enough, but when I saw the warning icon, I thought my offending blog post was de-published, and I had to clean up the language so I could get it posted.  But now that I read the community note, yesterday's blog post was published, but put behind a warning interstitial webpage that it contains "sensitive content."  Well, shoot, if that's the action Blogger is taking, hell, I'm not gonna change a damn thing.  I don't think that's censorship, and besides, why would I be worried about the number of pageviews I have?  I don't have any!

Now I think all those flagged blog posts in the past weren't taken down but just put behind warnings.  Why then did I go out of my way to clean up the language in some of those blog posts when I slaved over the precise words I wanted to use?  Because of my oversight, I think I censored myself, and that's just dumb of me.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

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Think I'm Coming Down With Something

Starting on Sunday during work.  Felt achy that evening.  Had a huge, cycle-wrecking nap in the evening, but felt kind of the same.  And then during my real job yesterday/Monday I started getting the sniffles, and then after work the aches came back with a vengeance.  Uh-oh.

This felt like COVID.  The main thing I noticed when I got the virus is that my nose was running constantly, and that is happening now.  I just took a test, though, and it turned out negative.  Then again, it's more than two years old.

Welp, I took some NyQuil.  My nose is totally dry now.  Feel oogy, however.  And my aches and pains are still around.  But I'm tired, which might be my body's way of saying it needs me to rest while it fights off whatever it is is invading my body, even though I took another long nap this evening.

I wonder where I got it from.  If I started coming down with it on Sunday, I probably caught it Saturday, and the only social thing I did indoors with a lot of people was the game-watching event downtown.  Probably got it there, darn it.

Have I Said Already I'm Addicted To My Phone?

So right now I am avoiding social media like the plague.  I'm doing that because I don't want to hear the score of the Lynx Game from yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  I have this bad, bad feeling that they lost at home to Phoenix, and I don't want to hear bad news right now, especially since both the Vikings and the Twins won yesterday/Sunday afternoon.

I have not watched the sports portion of the news (haven't in a while, actually), but that's easily avoidable.  What is hard to avoid is picking up my phone.  That's how I get my news and my sports scores -- Yahoo! Sports, Apple News, Bluesky and Twitter.  I may have said this before, but it is now instinctive for me to just pick up my phone, at all times of the day and night and for any situation, and look.  I've become an addict, and I probably am one of hundreds of millions.

The only way for me to not do that is if I assiduously want to avoid inadvertently looking at something ... such as a sports score.  Damn, that is hard to do.  I was watching the Chiefs-Giants SNF Game, and I know that when there are stoppages in play, I would just pick up my phone and start scrolling.  I was able to resist, but the pull was undeniable, even if I knew that that was the most surefire way I would avoid knowing if the Lynx lost.  One upside to that is that I paid attention to the football Game, and I want to go back to doing that instead of mindlessly looking through my cellphone.  As hard as it is to break away, knowing there is a boogeyman if I fall into temptation is a hell of a way to stay away from my cell.

Now, at some point I have to learn about the Lynx Game, if only because I have The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey to do tomorrow/Tuesday night.  But I think it's best for me to learn about it during The Common Man Progrum during work.  That way, if I found out they lost, I'll be distracted by work.  (Have I said the same thing on here before when it came to Timberwolves playoff Games?)  And hey, if I learn that the Lynx won, the day at work is that much brighter!

But I'll wait till then.  And I will hope to Buddha I avoid learning the news through my phone before then.

Can't Type

Weird ... a couple times the past week, the laptop can't type everything I have typed.  I type as fast as I usually do, but it's as if the laptop can't keep up, and so it skips over some of the characters I type.  I think it's a matter of what else is running at the time.  If there's a really heavy website that's also up, I think that affects the typing.  But it also could be this lap's old age.

This computer runs on Windows 10, for which updates end next month.  However, Microsoft is offering an extension of ... updates (?) for another year, which I took them up on.  I wonder if that was a mistake and I should just buy a new laptop that has Windows 11 instead.  I guess I won't have any choice if this can't type problem gets to be an even worse problem.

No Farm Aid 40

A big concert, Farm Aid 40, is going on right now.  I thought about going, but I didn't because ... well, there are/were so many commitments (going to my storage space, eating with my parents, alumni stuff) that I felt I had to do today, and I took a huge nap this evening.  I hope I don't live to regret it.

I Fake Showers Now

You remember I admitted feeling shame in taking showers every day because My Fucking Father told me to?  Well, fuck that, and I am going to not do it by faking taking a shower.

I started by recognizing that even though I am expected to take a shower every day, I don't have to take a long one, like I usually do.  So, about a few weeks back, I began taking shorter showers -- for real, but sometimes I would only soap up my armpits, genitals and feet (this expert recommends it, for one), and since I only rinsed the rest of my body, I save time that way.  Sometimes I don't wash my hair, and that save a lot of time, too.  And then I decided to cut my wash time even shorter by taking a quick bath -- just soak my feet, then get a washcloth to clean my face, pits, groin and tushy.

Then I realized: Hey, if My Fucking Parents think that I now take quick showers and baths and let me get away with it, why get wet at all?  So I have begun to do what I did last/Friday night: Go into the bathroom, turn on the shower ... and just sit on the toilet and scroll through my phone. Sure, I jostle the shower curtain to splash the water everywhere inside the shower.  I also put the soap dish underneath the shower so that it looks like I used the bar of soap.  But after a few minutes of turning the water on, then turning off the water and waiting a few more minutes (perfect time to just doomscroll), I take off my clothes, wrap the towel around my body, and walk out.  Of course, this won't work if my hair is completely dry and one of my parents is just outside and catches me leaving the bathroom.  Conversely, if neither of them catches me doing this, why go through the theater of leaving the bathroom with just a towel?  Hey, I'll cross that bridge if I get there.  All I know is that, so far, they've gotten off my back with the showering every day bullshit because they think I do.  How little they know!

Well, My Fucking Father changed my bedspread.  He put in a powerstrip at the outlet where I plug in the fan; don't know why he thinks I need that.  And, of course, he rearranged my three pairs of slippers.

Fuck it.  I am going to order the slippers in a neat row, but upside-down.  Let's see if he turns them right-side up.  Let's see if he's OCD enough to invade my bedroom again.  Let's see if he really, really doesn't have a goddamn hobby.

Don't Send A Man To Do A Woman's Job

Got home from last night's U. S. Open Cup Semifinal, where the Loons gave up the goddamn motherfucking Game-winning Goal to Austin in the goddamn motherfucking final Minute in Extra Time.  They had home-pitch advantage through the Final two Weeks from now, but like every goddamn motherfucking Minnesota sports team, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.  Oh, and the Twinks got beat by the Yankees.  Again.

This was about to be a horrific local sports night, compounded when I heard on the radio on my way home that the Lynx were trailing after three Quarters by 14 Points at Golden State.  But imagine my surprise when, before I hit the shower, I checked my phone again and saw that the Lynx beat the Valkyries, 75-74!!!  I was about get real down on them, but shit, those women don't get rattled a lot!  Maybe they will win it all after all.  They're the only team to have swept their First Round series; every other series is going the maximum three Games, being played either tonight or tomorrow night.  The rest the Lynx get, and that their upcoming opponent won't get, should play a big factor in the Semifinal.

And once again, the Lynx act like queens while the male sports teams in town act like a bunch of fuckin' chumps.  Never, ever send a man to do a woman's job.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  It's interesting when a team plays another team back-to-back when it's the last Game of the regular season and the first Game of the playoffs.  That's the case with the Lynx and The Golden State Valkyries.  The Lynx crushed the Valks at Target Center by 19 Thursday to ensure G State would be the 8-Seed -- and face the Lynx in the best-of-3 First Round, Game 1 of which was won by Minnesota by 29, also at home Sunday afternoon.  I continue to worry that they will express traits of a Minnesota team and lose when they shouldn't.  But last/Tuesday night, both Las Vegas and Atlanta, the next two top Seeds that I think will give the Lynx fits, failed to close out their First Round series and will have to play a Game 3 tomorrow/Thursday night.  Meanwhile, Minnesota has to fly out to the Bay and play Game 2 tonight/Wednesday night.  I really don't think they're going to have a problem winning (crosses fingers).  If that's the case and the other contenders get more tread worn off because they need to play an extra Game, that's good for the Lynx, right?  That's why they're in Positive Numbers this Week.

#0: United FC (Re-Entry!).  When my alma mater's football Game got delayed by three fucking hours due to lightning, it put a crimp in my evening plans.  Still, I thought about going to the Black Hart all the way in St. Paul to watch the Loons' important Match on the road against San Diego FC, tops in the West hosting second in the West.  Thought better of it because I had work in the morning, so I watched on Apple TV instead ... and dammit, I wish I was with my people, because I can't think of a Win that was both more satisfying and more meaningful than their 3-1 victory.

Reading up on the chatter, it still feels to me like MNUFC is disrespected.  While it does rely on the fact that this XI mainly counteracts and gives up possession almost obsessively, writers still marvel at how they keep winning despite their play.  Shit, man, I guess we Loons fans are surprised, too, but they remain The Most Aggressive Set-Piece Team In The World because they fucking score, like the first Goal, turned in by Anthony Markanich (and what a signing he has turned out to be!) with his head at the back post in the 74th Minute.  Carlos Harvey turned in the Game-winner three Minutes later, and finally, belying the history of new United FC signings starting off quietly, pickup Nectarios Triantis did this in Injury Time:

I don't know if this was payback for the half-pitch golazo that SDFC player did at Allianz Field, but regardless, that was fucking sweet ... almost as sweet as inching closer to these gate-crashers for the top spot in the West by winning on their turf.

Now comes a pretty important screening Week.  Tonight/Wednesday night, they host a U. S. Open Cup Semifinal against Austin FC.  Win that and they're hosting Nashville SC in the Final October 1.  Meanwhile, in MLS play, they host Chicago Saturday night.  I might be able to see them for the First Half before I have to jet and see my alma mater play later that night.

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  The Diet Coke Classic has been this program's baby for at least a couple decades now, so being its champion is something you'd assume would happen.  And considering the competition is South Florida, Dayton and South Dakota St., meh, sweeping through seems predestined.  Wish the competition was higher.  And they drop a Set Sunday to the Jackrabbits, which might say something.  What probably won't say something are the final two non-conference opponents the Gophers face: Loyola-Chicago Friday and Marquette Sunday.  These two Games, to the squad's credit, will be true road Games.

#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Started out B1G play with a 2-all Draw at Nebraska.  That would be good ... except that you can see that the Gophers got out to a 2-0 lead before the half-hour mark but coughed up all three Points with two Cornhuskers Goals past the 80th Minute about four Minutes apart.  Oh, boy.  This Week: Hosting Rutgers tomorrow/Thursday night, at 11th-ranked Iowa Sunday afternoon.

#-3: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  P. J. Fleck has been at the helm for a long time now, and he's gotten the program to a level where they are way beyond dreadful, and that is, in its own way, a miracle.  And you would think he's been around enough where he could make a jump to ... well, maybe not elite, but a squad that could be seen as a problem more and more often.

To do that, you would have to beat schools common people have heard of on a regular basis, and sometimes on the road.  And the team didn't clear that hurdle late Saturday night as they washed out at Cal, 27-14.  The Bears as a program have been kneecapped financial because of circumstances almost unique to the school itself.  But, they have this dynamite Freshman Quarterback, Jaron-Keawe Sagapolutele, that helped Cal pull away with ten Fourth Quarter Points.  I can't think of anyone else on that Bears club that would warrant a high draft pick, so I am a tad frustrated that a Power 2 school can still get humbled like that.  Now I'll assume that won't be the case when Rutgers comes to town for an early Saturday showdown two Weeks from now ... right?

#-4: Vikings: (Last Week: 0).  The Vikes do this from time to time, and it's maddening.  When they lose, they are just ... lifeless.  They had nothing going for them for practically the entire Game.  And you're watching, thinking that they have way more talent than the foe, in this case The Atlanta Falcons, and you keep seeing them not being able to run, or stop the run, or pass, or stop the pass.  And you're thinking that they'll somehow "get it" and start playing well, like they did in the Fourth Quarter in coming back to beat Chicago in Week 1.  But they don't.  They're just inert, and they slink up the tunnel quietly as the Purple Faithful wake up from their catatonic depressing and wonder what the fucking hell they just saw.

I think there's a meme in social media where this basic, ugly-looking character drawn in pencil on a sheet of paper has this rudimentary stick it taps on what I think is a rock and it goes, "Do something."  If I knew how to do a meme, I would slap the Vikings logo on that rock and caption it, "Do a football."  Which they didn't do at all in disappearing (at home no less) to the Falcons, 22-6.

Compounding all of that is the injury bug, which is hitting this team hard early in the season.  J. J. McCarthy, in news that Head Coach Kevin O'Connell broke without any reporter saying so first, is out 2-4 Weeks with a bad ankle.  Aaron Jones, Sr. is on Injured Reserve and will have to miss the next four Games.  And Christian Darrisaw, who would have helped immensely on Offense, sat out another Game.  Look, the Year's young, and I saw this team getting only six or seven Wins.  But hey, the anointed young QB that was supposed to be the key to getting this franchise its first-ever Super Bowl has now suffered his second injury in as many seasons, so his career is now facing an iffy trajectory.  And who knows what is going to happen to the Vikes now.

Home to Cincinnati, who also has QB trauma now that Joe Burrow needs to have surgery on his toe and might miss the rest of the season, Sunday afternoon.

#-5: Twins (Last Week: -4).  And hey, here are the Twinks.  They're not dead last in the A. L. Central, but they should be, and once again they bring up the rear in this screening Week's WMNSS.  They went 2-4 (seemingly for the 90th time in 2025).  I want to highlight the past two Games, home contests vs. The New York Yankees, and I know that there are more Yanks fans at Target Field than Twinks fans.  On Monday, the Twinks somehow shut out the Bronx Bombers, 7-0, the first time they have shut out their oppressors since 2008.  Last/Tuesday night, New York City was up 10-1 after four Innings.  We all thought the bitch-making was in full effect, but goddammit, the Twinks made a massive rally, scoring eight Runs.  They could have tied it, in fact, in the bottom of the Sixth Inning, but what would have been a Trevor Larnach three-Run dong was just a long Sacrifice Fly that scored Byron Buxton (who, we should continue to say, is still healthy and is having what could be the best season of his career).  They got one Run in the Ninth, but it was 10-9 Yanks, and we're left truly rooting for the hometown Nine for just showing fight against a team that owns the Twinks.

With all that said, there is a damn good off-field reason they're rock bottom in the WMNSS.  They have told four of the five members of their pro scouting department that this season is their last season.  This is not a Twins-only move; apparently it's become an MLB trend to slash the pro scouting departments.  To make up for it, organizations would do their scouting by watching videos at home, which reduces costs of travel.  Great; another cost-cutting measure whose proof of concept appears to have been the pandemic.  And while it's not unique to the Twinks, you know that it would be typically characteristic of the Twins to pull such a move.

They finish up with the Yankees tonight/Wednesday night, then host Cleveland for a four-Game series over the weekend (they will play a Doubleheader Saturday to make up for a previous Game), then travel to Texas for a three-Game series versus The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0. starting Tuesday.

My God, It's Hot

Feels like summer right now.  Walking out in the Sun this afternoon and the rays have taken all the energy from me.  Don't want to do anything right now, and yet I have everything to do.

This would be hot enough for My Father to turn on the air conditioning.  That means he would have to come into my bedroom to close the window.  From there, he probably will pick up after me, like a goddamn loser.  And when I come home, he'll yell at me for not picking up after myself in the bedroom.  And then we will fight, and I won't have dinner for, like, the next week.  I should have closed the window before I left.  But then again, like I said in my previous blog post, why would that stop him?

My Fucking Father Has No Other Hobbies

When I come home, usually something that I put somewhere in my bedroom has been moved, meaning My Fucking Father has been in there.  That's annoying enough, but it didn't happen every goddamn day like it's happening now.  In the past when that happened I figured he was just bored.  Now, I think it's a measure of control over me.

Last/Monday night, after seeing The Great Dictator (excellent; the blurb of the theater I saw it in called it, "The most important comedy film ever," and even though that sounds ironic, I think it's true) I came home.  My Fucking Father didn't touch anything except for the three pairs of slippers I use.  I strewed them around the floor; he fuckin' stacked them up, all neat and shit.  Besides hating this invasion of privacy, I want y'all to know that I did not pay for these slippers.  My Fucking Parents bought them and gave them to me.  Not all at once, but several years apart.  I don't know really know why.  One pair I use, and then out of the blue they just give me another pair.  The newest pair, which they got me a couple months ago, they said they wanted me to use because, "They were quiet."  Like I stomp around in the old slippers to the point where they get woken up.  They have bought so many slippers for me thinking they know what's best for me; wouldn't they have found the perfect, most quietest slippers for me by now?

The more I think of this, the more I fucking hate him.  Get a fucking hobby, you creepy goddamn dolt.

The Most Cursed Business Address In Town

So I came home from exercising tonight/Sunday night.  (Aside: This finished up a long, yet productive day for me.  I filled in for work yesterday/Sunday, then I donated my golf clubs, no questions asked, then I went to an industrial complex to drop off all my old glasses but they were closed because it was an early Sunday evening, then I went to my storage unit to drop off the rest of the stuff I need to hide from my folks, then I ate dinner at Taco Bell, then I exercised for the first time in a while.  I put a hell of a lot of miles on my car, and I was afraid I would be too run down to even do all of this, but I made it.  And frankly, giving away the golf clubs and glasses lifted a burden off my shoulders.  Maybe I'll blog post more about my feelings about that later.)  Oh, yeah ... so I take a left at this intersection to get home from the community center.  But shortly after I finish the left, there are train tracks, and sometimes, and especially around 10 p.m. on a Sunday night, a train comes through, and it'll take a while for it to pass.

That happened, so what I do is drive to the next left, where I pass under the elevated train track.  (Sometimes I wonder it would take less time just to wait, but I am a man in motion, or a shark.)  On my way, I see this business to my left, right next to the gas station at this intersection.  It has signage for a restaurant.  This is different signage from the last time I drove past it.  In fact, this piece of real estate has gone through, and I am not kidding you, at least four different restaurant concepts.  It served hoagies a, long, long time ago; it advertised, so I went there to use a coupon (it was an NFL Playoff weekend, I remember that), and the guy fucked up my change and so I vowed never to go back there again), it went halal, and it was Vietnamese before it became Mexican, which is its current identity.

I am 100% sure that the Mexican restaurant, and no offense to the owners of it, will fail, and this building will undergo yet another transformation.  It will fail because I don't know of a worse place to have a restaurant in my hometown.  We have a couple of main drags in our city, but the street this is on is not one of them.  It's quiet and mainly residential when there isn't a park.  It's really dark.  There is no active business close by beside the gas station (even though there are active businesses up and down the street).  Finally, I don't know how often cars drive down this road, and you need some foot traffic to at least let people know there is a spot here who want to feed you Mexican food.

That footprint should be a small park, or housing, or just a parking lot.  Anything besides a money pit into which people chasing the American Dream throw their hard-earned savings.  And yet people continue to buy the property and try to make it succeed on their terms.  Well, OK -- good luck!

Unstable Next Two Weekends

As shitty as my homelife has been, it's gotten (relatively) better lately, if only because I gave in in order to keep the peace in the house.  But things will get more unsteady over the next two weekends, and I am trying to get ready for it.

Next weekend, as I have been told, ownership of the place I store my stuff officially changes.  I should go out there to see if I can speak with the new owners or managers, just to get the vibes of the new people coming in.  But based on what the caretakers who are moving out are telling me, I need to brace myself.  This was a mom-and-pop place, but the owners have sold out to a local chain.  The caretakers said that not only are rentals going month-to-month, but they are jacking up prices in order to "invest" in the property.  I have a contract that lasts another half a year, but after that, I have no idea what is going to happen.  And frankly, I am not 100% certain the new company will honor my contract.  If they break the deal, and they jack up prices of my rental unit, I will need to find a new place.  And while I have done my research and think I have found a new home for my stuff, both the uncertainty and the stress of moving my stuff is definitely something I am not looking forward to.  And I will need to do all this while hiding all of it from My Fucking Parents.

My sister comes home the next weekend.  It should be a joyous time, and I love my sis.  But the house already seems too crowded already, and I am woken up by noises from My Fucking Parents already, and I don't need the variable of a fourth person in the home.  Moreover, my sister might be here to assist My Mother as she begins the process of figuring out what she needs to do with her sciatica.  Worst case scenario: The screening yields a recommendation to get surgery, they have to wait weeks to get the surgery, there is at least six weeks for My Mother to rehabilitate from her surgery, and my sister is here the whole damn time.  I have no idea if it's possible to immediately go into surgery after a screening, but if not, there's a good chance My Fucking Parents will be here through the holidays and the New Year.  My sister too.  And goddamn, I need to be alone.

Trying to brace myself.  But it's so, so hard.

Caulking And Not Doing Things For Myself

The last fucking thing I need is to do house maintenance.  I was taking a faux bath to appease My Fucking Father when the entire shower assembly tore away from the wall.  It's not like I destroyed it, but it needs to be re-caulked.  Motherfucker.

I just looked up how to do it.  They say it's easy.  Bullshit.  I need to remove the old caulk, then I need to disinfect it and let it dry.  And then I have to re-caulk it and smooth it over.  And then I have to wait, sometimes (according to the videos I saw) up to two days.  And that's after I need to find all the damn tools to do this, which I probably don't have.

I'm tempted to tell My Fucking Father this, but I know he'll go ballistic.  He will also probably yell at me: "Why are you telling me to do this?  Do this yourself!  You're a grown man!"  Funny, his hypocrisy.  Back in the spring I was putting tabs on my license plates.  I remember a long time ago him telling me, "You should learn how to put the tabs on the licenses yourself!  This is your car, and you're old enough to know how!"  He abandoned me, I learned on my own, and I finally got to learning how to do it, no fucking thanks to him.  But as I was doing it and being very careful about it, not just putting the tabs on the licenses but unscrewing the frames and cleaning all the surfaces of the frame, the license and the car, My Fucking Mother pestered My Fucking Father into helping me.  I didn't ask for this shit, but while I was letting the frames and plates dry, My Fucking Father just took them into the garage.

I was doing this a bit before dinnertime.  I thought I had time because, you know, it isn't that long of a task, and I know how to do it now.  But as I was eating, My Fucking Father went back outside and screwed the licenses and frames back on my car.  And I will tell you that he did a half-ass job; the tabs should line up on top of each other, and he just slapped those stickers on.

I admit I am thinking of ways to get angry at My Fucking Parents, but My Fucking Parents do so much that it's almost an obligation to point it out.  And I will point out that My Fucking Father says I should learn how to do things only for him to do things for me.  Which is it?  Which will it be when I have to tell My Fucking Father the bathroom fixtures need re-caulking?  Is he going to make me do it, or is he going to do it himself, probably do a bad job ... and then blame me for not knowing how to do it?

Fuck This Guy

What our country has become since January is pretty fucking bad.  But in a cultural way, what has happened in the past day or so really, really frightens me.

What I have seen from his killing (and by the way, this isn't an "assassination."  Go look up Chris Rock's bit about Tupac and Biggie and that's what think about using that term in this case) on my Facebook is the outpouring of shock and anger over this when those same people had nothing to say about (and this has been the assassination [and here the term is used appropriately because it involves a political figure murdered for political reasons] of Minnesota State Senator Melissa Hortman, her husband and her dog.  That observation goes down avenues that should be addressed individually.  First off, I am certain that most of the people who bitch about what happened and didn't say anything about the Hortman murders back in June are MAGAts who refuse to see how hypocritical they sound.  There are also arguments of "No one should be murdered for what they said!" when they either are unaware or refuse to actually listen to his arguments, all of which have a universal theme of putting down and insulting anyone who isn't a White, Christian, hetero, cis male.  When you add that his political organization made a list and subjected college professors to abuse for teaching subjects he didn't like to the point they were driven out of their jobs, it goes beyond free speech and into illegal action.  Finally, there are those who are only thinking of her wife and children.  I will give my sympathies to them, as I would to any human.  But based on what he thought of empathy, I am in no mood to give to him what he said he would not give in turn.

But the sanewashing (I may have said this before here, but this is a great word that speaks to the madness of our times) of this man after he got taken out has reached a level of national and cultural resonance that scares the living shit out of me.  Flags have been ordered at half-mast.  OK, he did not hold any political office.  That is what lowering flags to half-mast is for, not this asshole.  And other Governors, especially Democratic ones like Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania doing the same in the name of "unity" is particularly gross.  How could they?  But there were moments of silence for this asswipe at the Tigers-Yankees and Commanders-Packers Games last night.  Why?  This guy was a podcaster, and a fucking racist, sexist, transphobic shit-stirrer.  And we're holding a moment of silence for someone who spat at the existence of people who don't look like him?!

And another thing: I will bet you that there are a lot of people who have no idea who the hell he was.  Which means that we are holding a moment of silence for some dude.  Not anyone who has tried to make the world a better place, not someone you would have at least heard about if you watch the news from time to time, but some shitstain.  But MLB and the NFL seemed to have bent the knee to Trump and Republicans in valorizing a man who thought Blacks were stealing White peoples' jobs, who believed that a woman's place is in the home, and who thought that everybody ought to carry a gun if they so choose.  Well, look where that last belief got him.

That is what scares me so much.  This paying of respects to a man who had no respect for people of color, women and the LGBTQ+ community seems to have been conditioned nation-wide.  (Worldwide too -- I just saw what I think was a meeting of the European Parliament when someone called for a moment of silence to honor this man.  What do Europeans give a fuck about what happened to this asshole in the United States?  Left-wing Members of Parliament wouldn't shut up during that moment, and good for them.)  And if the country has decided that this demagogue is indeed a martyr ... that means that the Republican mindset that anybody who doesn't toe their line is a danger to (their) America and should be eliminated becomes that much more acceptable.

I highly doubt that this shooting was part of some conspiracy.  But Republicans and Trump are putting in place a plan to make this country a White nationalist one, and they are using every event to reach that goal.  I was hoping that there would be some resistance to this slide into fascism.  What I saw in the past 24 hours is more proof that there just ain't enough.