Still fending off this runny nose, and now I see that snow is forecast for today's/Saturday's Gopher Game.  Don't know how much is going to fall, but at least according to my Weather Application, the bulk/worst of it is supposed to fall right during the Game.  I will be outside for good chunks of time; add falling snow and I'm going to be both wet and cold.  And add blowing my nose all day.  Great.

I want to go to a speakeasy this evening, but this damn cold and my running nose is still bothering the hell out of me, and I doubt it'll get any better as I go shopping and walking out in the cold today.  Maybe I should just punt on that, especially since I work tomorrow/Saturday.  But it's been a couple months since I've gone back there, and I want to remain somewhat familiar over there.  Plus, I don't know any other good time to go before the year is out.

I'll go out.  Maybe.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: October 2025

It's almost the end of November and I haven't had time to research October.  But, even with a quick glance, I find this month to be quite underwhelming.  I might call it The Worst Month In Hooters Calendar History, but that wouldn't be fair because if this is not the first time I perused the month, I don't remember it.

There are only ten girls this month, and I will single out four of them.  The top two are on top based on a technicality I should revisit.  Without further ado:

In fourth place is Anna, out of Grand Prairie, Tex.  Pure blonde whose hair reaches down to her belly button, she is sporting a deep blue two-piece bikini.  Her top hides her small boobs, but I love her posing with her left wrist on top of her head while she is leaning against a wall.  Her bikini bottom is tied up with what looks like 70 feet of string, what with how it's tying up her bikini bottom.  But that hair, man, that hair ...

In third place is Anastasia, hailing from North Arlington, Tex.  She is wearing a pink/salmon one-piece that is cut out on one side, if that makes any sense.  But she has very light and wavy red hair, and I am a sucker for redheads.  Also, she has a beautiful face.

In second place is Fort Worth's Ruby.  She's wearing either a dark green or black (yeah, maybe I'm weird for not being able to distinguish between those two colors) two-piece bikini, and her wavy brown hair reaches her hips.  She's posed with her left side to the camera.  I don't see her ass, but I can see from the angle of her bikini bottom that she is showing ass while wearing that swimsuit -- not a whole lot, but technically, that's nudity, and so I am ranking her above all others (except one).  I am not seeing her ass, though, I'm most projecting, so I might have to rethink or make more exceptions to my "ass = #1" rule.

And that rule applies to the Hooters server in first place, The Main Girl, Chyna, out of Fort Lauderdale Beach, Fla.  The reason there are only two women this month is because her photo takes up the top half of the month.  She is lying on her front.  She is wearing a black two-piece dotted with white ... somethings or other.  She has piercing light brown eyes, though.  Also, she too looks as though she is exposing her ass from what little of her bikini bottom I can see by the way she is posed.  Moreover, I can say with confidence that she is more ass, and that is why she gets the top spot.

Like I said, I might have to revise my rule so that I need to see a Hooters woman's ass in the picture before I elevate her above everyone else.  Till then, congratulations to Chyna and to the other three women.  I ... might have the time to beat off to y'all, but if I do, it won't be any time soon.  Sorry!

Nothing Like The Thanksgiving Spirit Like A False Accusation

I've decided I need to use my heater, so today/Thursday/Thanksgiving Day, after lunch (there's turkey, but we had pizza!), I had to go into what is now Mother's bedroom to find it.  I store it there during the summer.  Well, I thought I did, but that was before my folks rearranged that room and in so doing threw away all my stuff without my goddamn permission.

Anyway, I went looking throughout that room and couldn't find it.  That finally got the attention of Mother, who asked me what I was doing.  When I told her, she asked Father, who said he'd look later (presumably after Thanksgiving dinner), and if he couldn't find it, he'll buy one for me.  Sure, pops.  And that's not what I want. But this is My Fucking Father being an asshole.

One of my parental units asked me if the heater was in my room, to which I replied if it were in my room, I wouldn't be looking in a place other than my room.  But, well, I checked my room ... and sure enough, I should have looked on the other side of my chair, right in front of my desk, and underneath this box.  That's where the heater is.  Whoops.

I had to tell them I found it.  I have to take the hit.  If they want to give me more attitude, I want to tell them that I accused them of "having it" because the source of all my shortcomings in my life is also because of them.  Still, Father probably did not take it well when I said I found it in my room when I answered he/her/them that of course it wasn't in my room.  Let's hope Thanksgiving dinner at about 4 o'clock or so is convivial, or at least not passive-aggressively hostile.

Now I think, or I am reminded, that my runny nose and aching legs is something that seems to happen the weather gets colder or snowier.  And I've been blowing my nose like the dickens all day at work yesterday/Friday.  I thought I had it under control when I went to bed.  This sounds weird, but I could tell the moment, the exact moment, when my sinuses, which was running like a burst dam, completely shut.  I could tell because I don't think I slept at all last night.

Alas, my sinuses got to running again once I got out into the cold, and my nose kept running while I was working.  It's gotten worse since I got home.

Heat, intense heat, has always seemed to shut off my sinuses and snot-running.  I need to do that, but I need to finagle the space heater from Mother's new bedroom, and then, maybe my parents won't like me using so much energy to run the space heater until my room feels like a sauna.  But I work outside at the Gopher football Game Saturday, and I want to shop tomorrow/Friday, and I need to be as healthy as possible, and to do that, I need to warm my body up.

I am cocooning for the next day and a half, and I appreciate doing so instead of being out and about, but I still feel quite crummy, and I can't afford to remain this sick.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Before I begin, I need to note that I should be spending more time on this WMNSS that I will be -- not only because there are eleven teams I need to cover, but this past Week may have been The Worst Week In Minnesota Sports Ever.  (I know I say that a lot, but this time, I mean it.  And I'll mean that the next time I say it, too.)  But I need to wake up early to go to work, and I will go to work in the first snowstorm of the year, and there is no driver in the world worse than a Minnesota driver upon the first snowstorm of the year.  So I am going to cut all these teams short shrift, then go to bed:

#-1: Wild (Last Week: -4).  Thank Buddha for the Wild.  They went 3-0 this screening Week, defeating The Bastard Hartford Whalers at home (albeit via a Shootout, hence why this club's still in negative numbers), then went on the road and notched back-to-back Shutouts in Pittsburgh and Winnipeg.  Jesper Wallstedt, drafted as a Goalie wunderkind who was awful last season, has been backstopping their success (literally and figuratively), which has shaken off their bad start and now have them in a playoff birth.  And they've won five in a row, too.

They play in Chicago tonight/Wednesday night, then come home to play their annual Black Friday afternoon Game vs. The Bastard Quebec Nordiques and then Buffalo the following evening.  They then visit Edmonton Tuesday.

#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Swept at Maryland and Rutgers.  Well, at least they didn't get bit by the upset bug like a few of their fellow teams (see below).  Bracketologists think the U.'s slipping to a 5-Seed, which means they will not be able to host the first two Rounds of the NCAA Tournament.  Man, what happened to this squad?

This is a way to finish the regular season: At home, but versus eleventh-ranked Purdue tonight/Wednesday night/Thanksgiving Eve, then vs. tenth-ranked Wisconsin late Black Friday night.

#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -10).  Split at home against fifth-ranked Penn St.  These motherfuckers lost to Long Island at home!!!  Only one Game this screening Week -- at fourth-ranked Denver Saturday night.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  Still not convinced.  Yes, they beat South Florida by a dozen Monday afternoon in the Baha Mar Hoops Pink Flamingo Championship.  But in the true test of their non-conference schedule, they faltered late and were beaten at Kansas, in a true road Game, by six.  I don't think these Jayhawks are a wagon, so if the U. was going to take the next step, they should've beaten them.  But they didn't.

They play Alabama this/Wednesday afternoon in the championship Game, I think, of this tournament in the Bahamas.  They then host Samford Monday.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  I'm starting to hate this team, and I don't think I'm the only one.  They started off beating lowly Washington at home, but then have gone on the road and blown leads and lost in tilts to Phoenix and Sacramento.  Apparently, they also were talking shit before both choke jobs, too.  A team that has fallen short in The Western Conference Finals in back-to-back Years but is now underachieving shouldn't be doing that.  And the Loss to The Bastard Rochester Royals represents the first defeat the Woofie Dogs have had to a squad with a losing record.  They were unbeaten against them up to Monday ... and they were, and are, winless vs. teams with winning records.  Basically they are exactly who you think the Woofs are ... until Monday.

They're at The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics tonight/Wednesday night, host Boston late Saturday afternoon (?!) and San Antonio the next evening, then are at New Orleans Tuesday.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7).  Lost by a dozen to San Francisco in Sioux Falls, S. D.  Like I always say, I give a mulligan to a Head Coach's first season.  That's why this club's the best of the winless teams this Week.

For Thanksgiving, they are in Palm Desert, Calif., for the 2025 Acrisure Series.  They play Stanford Thanksgiving night, then either Saint Louis or Santa Clara the next night.

#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -8).  It feels as though (I don't have time to research if this is really true) that P. J. Fleck's Goofers are good for one howler, losing to a team they should beat.  That happened Saturday, when, in Wrigley Field, they blew a 28-13 lead and allowed Northwestern to score 22 Points straight to take the lead.  The U. needed to score just to get into Overtime, and then Jack Olsen had a Field Goal to send the contest to a second OT ... but he hooked it left.

Fleck isn't getting the U. over the hump.  But really, who are you going to get who's better?

They finish the season hosting Wisconsin, a team that looked like they'd be a pushover, but have won two-of-three.  The battle for Paul Bunyan's Axe will be a contested one.

#-8: Vikings (Last Week: -9).  Green Bay is not that good of a team.  But the Vikes lost anyway, and the six Points they couldn't help but muster is squarely on the shoulders of J. J. McCarthy.  I was busy mulching leaves in my yards, but people who deigned to watch the Game were alarmed at how far "Nine" has regressed, and that's fucking scary.  I will say that the Offensive Line is failing again; McCarthy was sacked five times, and one of his two Interceptions came from a deflected ball by an oncoming rusher.  But yes, J-Mac is becoming a big issue.  And it wouldn't've been an issue if the Vikings didn't say they could fly this plane as they built it.

And McCarthy is now in concussion protocol.  It seems fishy, but apparently there is video evidence of a hit.  That means that Max Brosmer, the backup QB/The Most Like Player On The Team, will probably start when they visit Seattle and their top-rated Defense.  The season was virtually over after losing at home to Chicago (who leads the Division!!), but now it's really over.

#-10: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -5).  This is unacceptable.  Sure, South Dakota St. is ranked, but they're ranked 18th, the Gopher grapplers are ranked seventh ... and, well, they're South Dakota St.  But the Jackrabbits upset them last/Tuesday night -- and at home, too.  Of SDSU's six Dual victories, five of them were upsets of a lower-ranked or unranked Jack beating a higher-ranked or ranked Goof.  The most embarrassing upset came at 125 Pounds, where fourth-ranked Jore Volk lost to South Dakota St.'s Brady Roark, ranked 21st, 6-4.  It was the first Dual of the night; little did the Maturi Pavilion crowd know then what they were in for.  Glad I wasn't fuckin' there.

They're taking a Week off, and shit, they fucking need it.

#-11: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  ... I think that pales in comparison to the Gopher lady icers -- the second-ranked lady icers -- getting fucking swept by, of all goddamn teams, Minnesota State-Mankato.  No offense to the Mavericks, but ... they're fucking Minnesota State-Mankato.  And not only did they lose both contests of a home-and-home, but they got beat handily: 3-1 here, 4-1 there.  I thought that was the first goddamn time these Goofers capitulated to an inferior program, but apparently the Mavs did this to the U. back in 2006.  OK, so it's not unprecedented, but it's still pretty fuckin' shameful.  What a joke.

Home-and-home with St. Thomas in two Weeks.  Hey, maybe the Tommies can sweep these underachievers, too!

#-Infinity: United FC (Re-Entry!).  Of course they can't beat an expansion side, falling at San Diego FC Monday, 1-0.  Season's over.  Many fans believe that the in-season selling of Tani Oluwaseyi is the main reason they couldn't progress past the last eight.  I say they couldn't win because they're a Minnesota sports team.

I have nothing else to say about this, so I want to say a quick word about recent word that Major League Soccer will change its calendar so that they start seasons in mid-July and finish around Memorial Weekend.  I hate it.  I'll expound on the big-world implications some other time (maybe), but now I want to say that the early part of the season now falls in the fall, when I am busy with game-watching organizing and working Vikings Games.  MLS' current schedule, where they start around February and finish in early December, works much better -- for the league, I believe, but especially for me.  And now, because I don't think I can regularly get to see all Loons home Games, I might have to give up my season ticket.  And I fucking hate that.

Nope, The Car's Broken, Probably

No rhythmic crinkling still; the lug nut fixed that.  Still, I am worried about the oil.  Last week I put in, like, 100 mL because, according to the very unreadable orange dipstick, it was low.  I checked after I put in the oil and the level went up, so it looks as though putting oil in helps.

But that dipstick seems to be low whenever I check it these days.  I thought I should check it again, this week, just to see.  And I did that after work yesterday/Monday, and goddammit, the level is lower.  Maybe not low, but it's concerning because, beyond going from downtown Minneapolis to Cedar-Riverside, I didn't really go anywhere in the week or so since I dumped oil in it.

Winter literally is coming.  It'll snow tonight/Tuesday night, and then the cold is coming in and will settle for the time being.  Not ideal oil-adding weather.  So after I came home and ate dinner, I threw in some more oil.  Nothing more than a quarter-quart if that, but if the dipstick is supposed to be an indication of how low I am down to a quart, that line when I check it again should go back up.

And fuckin' A, I immediately regretted it.  What if I put in too much?  That's why I didn't put in half a quart.  I don't want to overfill it.  But I can't underfill it either, so what happens if what I put in is still not enough?  Every car I have to put in oil becomes fucking Goldilocks, for God's sake.  And why in the hell am I putting in oil twice less than a week?  If I have to, that's a sign that my car's going through it way more than it should.  Or, maybe it's not going through oil as fast as I think it is, and I'm just fucking paranoid because I've been traumatized by my cars not working in years past.  Fuck if I know.

I have half a mind to bring my car quickly to my mechanic, again -- just to ask him if there are any oil leaks, and then maybe ask if to teach me how to read the damn dipstick.  But like I said before, they probably are closed Wednesday afternoon.  Plus, the weather is going to be bad then, so I don't know if they'd be in a mood to indulge my anxieties.  Oh, and they might charge me to do that, too.

I'm scared I filled my engine with too much oil, and I'm also scared that my engine will run out of oil a week from now.  Goddamn, I hate being afraid of what my car will do.

Car's Not Broken!!!

What I didn't say in my previous blog post -- I forgot to mention it, honest -- is that I remembered the time where my car last made a rhythmic rattling noise while driving to work in April of last year.  Can it be that I just lost a lug nut?

So early yesterday/Sunday afternoon I decided I would mulch the leaves in both the front and back yards.  That would give me the chance to do something I should've done: Check to see if I had all my lug nuts.  And I'll be goddamned, one of them was missing.  So I had to take time out of what was supposed to be a lazy Sunday to go to a car parts store and find a lug nut.  No worries; the Vikings were slouching through a Loss, so my time was better spent doing this anyway.

Bought it, screwed it in, and, because it probably was best to try it out and see if my car still made that noise, I decided I was going to use it (instead of the minivan) to drive and work out last/Sunday night.  I cranked the radio up while I was driving, but I didn't hear a sound.

Phew!  I really thought my car was in big trouble, but thankfully I took a deep breath and thought about what could the problem be.  Now, the problem is why am I having problems with my car's lug nuts.  Two were stolen and two loosened that one time back in December of 2022, and then there were these three loose lugs, and now this.  Was this one stolen?  Did this just somehow loosen on its own?

Car's Broken Again

For the past few days I have heard a sound.  It was a rhythmic clicking sound that came from the passenger-side rear, maybe the tire, maybe not.  But as I was parking on my way to another bar, I heard the sound, only louder.  Maybe it was my team losing that led to me being quieter and/or more paranoid about hearing things, but this clicking noise became quite audible.

And while I could drive, I felt as though the car was ... not as in good a shape as it should be?  It was shaking down the highway ... maybe.  Great -- I'm back to asking myself whether I can limp this car around for a while or if I have to drop everything and get this fixed right away.

And if it's the latter -- and I usually panic, so it's usually the latter -- I can't get it fixed right away.  Auto shops are never open on the weekend, and I assume this place is already booked up for tomorrow.  Tuesday I have to use the car to take Father to his dental appointment in the mid-morning, and I have to get to work by noon or else.  Wednesday I report to work early.  Thursday's Thanksgiving.  Friday I have the day off, but I really want to do so some shopping then, so maybe I don't want to bring my car in then, especially if there is something really wrong with the click-clacking.  Maybe I can bring it in Wednesday afternoon after work since I get to leave early, too.  But for all I know, my mechanic will be shutting things down as soon as Wednesday afternoon.  Hell, they might be taking the whole week off.

This fucking sucks, and I hate life.

Sorry, Babe, You're Staying In Jail

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You Know, I Don't Think My Parents Are Sleeping Together Anymore

By that I mean literally sleeping together, not, um, figuratively (barf)

Like I've said, Mother isn't perfect, but she can walk good now.  I haven't seen her negotiate the stairs all that much, but while she takes it slow, she seems to not have an issue with walking up or down.  The exercises she needs to concentrate on now have to do with adjusting the body while isolating her new knee and putting stresses on her joints (not just her new knee) -- standing up from a chair, high kicks on stairs, stuff like that.

I say this to say that she shouldn't have too much trouble now going up and down the stairs, and down the stairs is where the master bedroom and bathroom are.  That's also where Father ends up after we have dinner.  We all split up: Him to his bedroom, me to my bedroom, and Mother to her bedroom ... which is not the same bedroom as Father's.  Anticipating that she would be incapacitated after knee surgery, they decided that they would turn my former bedroom back into a bedroom where Mother would sleep in as she recuperates.  It's upstairs (we have a split-level) because that's where the kitchen and her sewing machine is.  As long as she was confined to walking on one level, it had to be the one where she can eat and spend her hours at her hobbies.

So that was a few weeks ago.  I assumed it would be temporary, that once she was able to walk up and down stairs without too much pain, she would rightfully move back in with Father in the master bedroom.  No, that hasn't happened yet.  The few times I checked up on her, she is in her bed (it's my bed frame; while this may have been the reason she took my bed, her knee surgery was used by My Fucking Parents as an excuse to toss all the stuff that was important to me, and now I'm getting all pissed the fuck off again, so I'll move on), her pillows arranged how she wants, watching her videos on her streaming box.  She's happy as a clam in her own room.  Moreover, my sister, when she was here, asked if she wanted to move back downstairs once my sister thought Mother could walk down the stairs without too much difficulty.  Mother said no, at least for the time being, because she felt that she would make too much noise and wake Father up if and when she needed to get out of bed in the middle of the night and shuffle to the master bathroom to pee.  Two things about that.  Would that worry change now that she can walk instead of shuffle?  And since she can walk, why wouldn't she move back downstairs and bug Father like usual when she does get up to pee?  It's how they've been living all this time anyway, right?

So it's that second point I want to hone in on.  I'm starting to get the feeling that Mother actually likes her own bedroom.  Why wouldn't she?  She has the whole room to herself so she can do whatever she wants.  And I believe Father snores, and she likes that she doesn't have to hear him snoring.  If she does enjoy sleeping alone, that probably means Father likes sleeping alone as well.  He isn't getting woken up by Mother when she needs to pee, of course.  The only worry Mother has is that Father, who is getting up there in age, won't have someone around him if he falls, Buddha forbid.

I would like Mother to move back down, not gonna lie.  That way I can have the bathroom all to myself.  I don't have to move around the bathmat in case she trips over it.  I can also arrange my shampoo and toothbrush to where I want it.  Finally, I want the upper part of the house to myself in case I don't want to put any clothes on if I need to get up from my bed and shuffle into the bathroom to pee.  However, if this separate bedrooms thing is permanent, and if both parental units are going to be here for a while, this is a New Normal I really, really won't like.

Addendum To: You Know, I Don't Think My Folks Are Leaving Anytime Soon

And yesterday/Thursday, during Mother's PT, I got another sign that they won't be leaving anytime soon.  The good news coming from that session is that she's making such good progress -- or is appearing to make such good progress -- that the physical therapist recommended cancelling the next three sessions.  She just needs to work on the exercises he prescribed and come back in two weeks.

That's great.  She is walking without much assistance, even though my sister and I are worried that she is still walking sort of like a penguin.  The problem is that even though the therapist thinks the visits can be spread out to every two weeks, he thinks there should be a few more visits.  I was under the impression that Mother would be in the clear -- like completely done with everything -- six weeks after surgery.  But the way he makes it sound, there will be another session a week after My Mother hopes to get the "all clear" (and now I don't know if that is the clean bill of health I always thought it was), and then there would be, at least, one more session two weeks after that.  That session, assuming it's the final one, might fall after the New Year.

Now, this physical therapist might not have his dates right, or he may not be totally aware of My Mother's plans.  But if he is correct ... egad, my parents are going to be here through the holidays.  Sheesh.

You Know, I Don't Think My Folks Are Leaving Anytime Soon

So Mother is about halfway through her physical therapy.  She's doing really well; she barely uses her cane, doesn't use her walker anymore (at least as far as I can tell), and she frequently is able to just walk.  What PT is honing in on now is perfecting everything -- getting her knee straight at rest, giving her knee maximum flexion when needed, and walking as perfectly as possible by strengthening all the muscles that need to be strengthened.

My thought before Mother got her knee replaced would be that once she is fully healed and cleared to fly on planes, my parents would take off like bats out of hell and winter out West.  They hate the winters here.  I know that, if they had their way, they wouldn't be in town now because the cold is settling in and the snow could come any day now.  In fact, I want to think that they're beginning to look at ticket prices and packing.  Assuming the doctor giving Mother the all-clear is a given, they could be ready before her final check-in with her doctor and leave the next day.  Makes sense, wouldn't it?

Something else has come up, however: Father's dentures are now failing.  It is now tough for him to eat solid foods.  Apparently he is going out of his way to avoid using the parts of his "teeth" that hurt him.  In fact, I think my sister said parts of his dentures are infected, and that scares me; I have heard of many, many bad things happening to people that stem from infected gums.

So Father has a dental appointment next week.  The hope is that it's not that serious and he can find someone who can fix his dentures where they winter.  But apparently he needs to have his mouth scanned, and if that turns up something more serious, there's a chance the dentist recommend him get immediate, invasive care.  And that would mean he stays put.

My sister speculated that a serious operation and recovery could take several months.  Oy -- knowing my luck, that means they're not leaving the house, are they?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -8).  Well, through all the trials and tribulations the Golden Gopher volleyball squad is going through, I have to give them some credit for gutting out a pair of victories over this past screening Week.  First, they not only won but swept traditional power Penn St. on Friday, a tight 23-23-22, their first Win over the Nittany Lions in four seasons.  Then, they traveled to Iowa and survived the Hawkeyes in five Sets, 21-25, 25-19, 25-18, 23-25, 15-13.  Iowa might not be any good, but for a while there I didn't think the U. was either, so I will take this Win as a good sign for the Gophers.

They still are in line to host the first two Rounds of the NCAA Tournament, and that's basically the highest goal they can probably attain.  They will burnish their record going out east and taking on tomato cans Maryland and Rutgers.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  A perfunctory ass-kicking of Bemidji St., 6-2 Friday at noon at Mariucci Arena, then 9-2 Saturday afternoon at Ridder.  This tells you nothing about this team, nor does this weekend's home-and-home series with Minnesota State, here Friday evening, in Mankato Saturday afternoon (wow, a really quick turnaround time).

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week:-2).  Immolating New Jersey Tech by 49 Points at home tells you nothing about how good this club is.  A true road Game against a Power 4 school, like tonight/Wednesday night at Kansas?  That'll tell you something.  They will then travel to the Bahamas -- lucky them -- and participate in the Baha Mar Hoops Pink Flamingo Championship.  Kind of a wordy name for a tournament.  Anyway, they'll face South Florida Monday, then either Alabama or Harvard Thanksgiving Eve.  That should also tell you something.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -6).  Maybe things have stabilized now that they've left that horrible month of October.  They are 6-2 so far in November after defeating Anaheim and (Las) Vegas at home this Week, even though the Win over the Golden Knights was in Overtime.  Points-wise, they are in a four-way tie for third place in the Central.  Thank goodness this is a long season.

They finish up their four-Game homestand tonight/Wednesday night vs. The Bastard Hartford Whalers, then play at Pittsburgh Friday and Winnipeg Sunday afternoon.

#-5: Gopher wrestling (NEW SEASON!!).  The grapplers finally started playing Duals, namely in The National Duals Invitational in Tulsa, Okla., over the weekend.  And they went 4-1 ... and yet I am feeling disappointed.  Their four Wins were all against ranked teams.  Virginia Tech was ranked eleventh and the U. beat them twice; Northern Iowa was 16th and Missouri 17th.  But they got eviscerated by sixth-ranked Ohio St. early Saturday evening by a score of 29-6.  That stings because not only did they go down in defeat to a fellow Big Ten team, but I don't remember the last time the Buckeyes were this good in wrestling.  Sixth was where the U. program was, but it's not there anymore.  So this weekend delineated in what exact tier Minnesota is in wrestling this Year, and that tier is nowhere close to a championship.

Host South Dakota St. Tuesday night.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  Easily beat the Kings and Dallas, but those Wins sandwich an 11-Point defeat to Denver.  This Week was played at home, by the way.  The Wolves currently sit sixth in the West, but this screening Week is indicative of their season in so far as that they beat the teams they're supposed to beat but can't beat the teams they need to beat if they want to be the team to beat.  Y'know what I mean?

They finish their four-Game homestand tonight/Wednesday night versus Washington, then play at Phoenix Friday and Sacramento Monday.

#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Began the screening Week getting blown out, 83-60, at Missouri last Wednesday in the lone road Game in the non-conference portion of the schedule against a Power 4 school.  Then they had to get to Overtime before besting Wisconsin-Green Bay Saturday, then finally pulled away in the final few Minutes last/Tuesday night against Chicago St.  I will reiterate one of my principles in the WMNSS: I largely give a team whose Head Coach is in his or her first season a pass.  Neither the Loss to the Tigers nor the OT victory over the Phoenix feels good, but hey, so what?

After playing three Games this past Week, they only need to play one this Week -- against San Francisco in Sioux Falls, S. D. (I hear the arena there is really sweet) late Saturday afternoon.

#-8: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  It could've been a lot worse, but they were never in it in Friday's 42-13 Loss at Oregon.  This isn't much of an excuse, but even though we want to see more from this program, you kind of knew that this was going to happen, right?  That's why I have them ranked where I have them ranked.

Well, at least they get to play at Wrigley Field early Saturday afternoon versus Northwestern.  That seems cool, huh?

#-9: Vikings (Last Week: -7).  I don't exactly know how Sunday's home Loss to Chicago was the one that was the final nail in the coffin for many Vikes fans, but it just feels this way.  Maybe it's because this defeat felt as though this was on the newbie Quarterback, J. J. McCarthy.  He was 16-for-32 on the day for 150 Yards, one Touchdown and two Interceptions.  It wasn't completely his fault; it felt like he was the victim of a few dropped passes.  Also, he played well on that Fourth Quarter drive that culminated in that go-ahead Touchdown.

But then, Special Teams allowed that huge Bears Kickoff return, which led to the Game-ending Field Goal from Chicago Kicker Cairo Santos.  This, like last Week's Loss to The Bastard Cleveland Browns, was winnable.  However, and again it's not all on him, but a lot of it hinged on the misfiring by McCarthy.  Which leads me to my grand point that it's bonkers to say you're going through a "competitive rebuild" on the back of someone who's still learning to play at the NFL level.  I'm not ready to call McCarthy a bust yet.  Maybe he should play hurry-up like he did on that 4Q drive all the time because he seemed in-control then.  And he's played pretty well in spurts.  But it turns out that this season was going to be a baptism by fire for McCarthy, and maybe the Vikings should have sold this season as that, and maybe the playoffs isn't the priority.  Ironically, at 4-6 and dead last in the NFC North, that very well may be the plan now.

At Lambeau to face Green Bay Sunday.  You have to note that the Vikings have lost by one score in four of the seven Games.  For all we know they'll beat the Packers, who aren't playing that well right now.

#-10: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -3).  Yes, they split their series over the weekend.  But they played Long Island.  Long Island.  A program in its fifth year in existence.  The Sharks came into Mariucci Arena and not only beat the Goofers Friday, they fucking killed them, 6-2.  6-2!!!

You could have seen that this would be a rough season because most of their veterans decided to turn pro.  But their lack of action during the off-season, when NIL money and transfer portals gave teams the opportunity to overturn and jumpstart their teams virtually overnight, is coming back to bite them in the ass.  And the way they got embarrassed at home like that to a school some fans didn't know existed, let alone a men's hockey team, might not be forgivable if things continue to remain rough this season.

And the caliber of competition leaps this weekend.  The U. finish their six-Game, three-series homestand hosting probable top pick in the NHL Draft Gavin McKenna and fifth-ranked Penn St. Friday and Saturday.

Well, it happened.  I think there is one day just after the time change where my body reacts to the night coming so early in the evening by making me sleep a long sleep, and it happened last/Monday night.  Now, it was aided by a long day: I took Mother to physical therapy in the morning, and then I went to work around noontime, pulling in a fully day that didn't end until around 8.  After I ate at Burger King, I went home ... and promptly went to sleep around 10:30.  I felt my body being tired, too.  I hear some commotion outside (probably Mother taking her pills) around 5, but I fell asleep again, only to be woken up just now by the alarm.

I should be as awake as I'll be, for the day and, who knows, the winter.

I Was Afraid The Masseuse Made Me Sick

So last week, because I hadn't had one in so long, I needed one, and just to get away for some me time, I got a massage.  And for the first time in a long time, I went to the massage place close to my house, not downtown.  They're cheaper out there, and so I didn't mind indulging $200+ for the first two-hour massage I've ever had.

Problem was the masseuse.  I've had her before, once before.  She is the second masseuse I've used at this place.  The first one was a revelation: Strong hands, she knew where to untie all my knots, and she was so cool to talk to, both informative with what she was doing as well as friendly when we were making small talk.  I have tried for the longest time to get her again, for years actually, but when I try to schedule her online, she's not available.  This reservation system shows the first date she is available, and it's the damnedest thing, but it says she isn't available for months, literally months.  She's great, but I can't believe she's that in demand.  This massage place is in an office park in the suburbs, for crissake.

So the one I had last week was the second time I've had this other masseuse.  She's good, but the first time I had her, she walked in with a cane.  I couldn't believe someone who has trouble walking would do massages, and I was wrong, she was very powerful with her hands as well.  But the juxtaposition kind of stayed with me, and in a bad way, even though she did nothing wrong.

Last week I was desperate for a rubdown, so I went to this place, which I hadn't been to in more than a year, and I got this second masseuse because the first one was still booked out months in advance.  So imagine my surprise when I got to the office park (I was asked on a voicemail left for me if I was willing to move up my reservation; I called back and said work was probably going to keep me where I was at; I only got there ten minutes before my scheduled time) and saw both masseuses just sitting there.  I was going to ask the first masseuse why she was there and when can I get a massage from her, but that would've been rude to the second masseuse who ushered me into the room.

I can't complain that the two-hour massage was bad.  Time actually dragged, which is something weird to say when you're theoretically being pampered like this.  Also, I was face down for half the time, and in the end there my face really began to hurt.  I can't sit face down like that for long, and that's something I need to be cognizant about.  Maybe two hours is a bit too long.

But -- and again, the massage itself was very relaxing -- this masseuse kind of bugged me even more.  There are two reasons that I can recall (although I thought I had one or two more complaints about her but forgot).  One, she inadvertently knocked me in the back of the head a few times with her forearms.  Not relaxing.  Two, and worse, she had three or four really nasty coughing fits during our session.  She said that she was doing that because the cleaning lady was around.  I don't buy that.  I think she had something, and for a few days after the massage I felt like I caught that nasty something from her.  I don't think I got sick, but still, having a masseuse get into several coughing fits without doing all she can to cover her mouth puts a lie to the tranquil, antiseptic atmosphere that is the ideal environment for a rubdown.

So, will I go back to her, and this place?  Probably, though probably not for a while.  Massages are expensive.  Plus, I still cannot fathom how this first masseuse is booked months in advance when she was just sitting around when I came in, and a piece of me wants to ask questions about that.  But, maybe this second masseuse will be healthier when I get a massage from her again.

I Love Being Desired

What I find hot is a woman just reaching into my open fly and yanking out my cock.  I love aggressive women.  And goddammit, I love being treated like a piece of meat, because that makes me feel desired sexually, and I ain't no sexual being.

That's what ****e did to me today.  I have never seen her feisty like this before.  But I helped her out with some issues regarding cellphones and her privacy settings, and so she, um, rewarded me with her nasty ways.  And her mouth.

Fuck yeah, I love that.  Emphasis on fuck!

Ever Fart In Front Of A Co-Worker?

I did last week (if you count this past week as this week, if you know what I mean).  I was in the bathroom just peeing and, dammit, it just happened.  And it just happened as someone was passing me by and going into the stall.  No fart control for me on this day.

That's bad enough; chances are pretty good that the person who heard me is someone I interact with, and that is quite embarrassing.  I had half a mind to just scoot out of there, even to the point of not washing my hands.  But I had to in case it was someone I knew; didn't want him to think I don't wash my hands after I pee.  And sure enough, it's one of the guys that I knew.  He said hi to me and, due to shame, I just raised my finger to him.  I was trying to thread the needle of being both cordial and curt, but striking up a conversation right after I farted in front of him (loudly I might add) probably would come off as if I was acting like I did not fart in front of him, and that would be a total lie.

And then I changed my bleepin' mind again because I decided how I was acting was suspicious and rude, so as I left, I gave him a quick goodbye (it was near the end of the day and I was about to leave -- I think).  I doubt that changed the tenor of the bathroom, and it sure as heck didn't erase the fact that I farted loudly in front of my co-worker.  Yeah, I'm not living this down.

I totally need some relief tomorrow/Sunday, and I'll get that when I see ****e -- I think.  I thought I was going to see her a few Sundays ago, but her door was locked and I had no way to contact her asking what was up.  She texted me a few hours later that she was home, but by that time I was home.  I was perturbed, but she is the only one who'd do me like she does, so I kept my text short in case I needed her again ... and I do, tomorrow/Sunday.  God, I hope she's there.  She said so, even in the morning, when I'll be in her area.

Not Working Tomorrow/Sunday, And It'll Be Weird

I am not working tomorrow/Sunday, even though I have worked for many, many seasons.  I was told on Monday that the production crew have their own people and therefore I was not needed.  The last time I hadn't worked a Game was during the pandemic.  If you take that as an exception, the last time before that was the last Game of some Year when the team sucked.  It may have been New Year's Day, and I decided to spend it at the Walker.

The person who broke the news to me emphasized that me not working was not a reflection of my work for them.  Assuming this crew does not come to town any other time this season, I am working the other Games, as planned.  I believe him, in all he said.  That said, I have to recognize that I am an at-will employer.  These people treat me well, and I am paid very well.  But it's not as if I have a contract with them.  They can pull the plug and no longer hire me for any reason, or for no reason.  It's the reality, and I am under no illusion of what could happen, at least theoretically.  Nonetheless, this news is a stark reminder of that reality, and I have to admit that I have caught myself on a couple occasions this week thinking about how my life would be affected if I could no longer work for these people.  It's my favorite job; losing it would be like losing a piece of me.

The Pains Of Being A Leader

So I organize a Game-watching event for my alma mater's football team.  For the past decade or so, we have, for the most part, congregated at this bar in downtown Minneapolis.  I think things could be better, but for the most part, I like it there.  It's centrally located and, I have to admit, many of the servers there are total babes.  Besides, someone else found this place, and I decided we would just keep going there because we have built so much familiarity and trust.  Well, that or inertia.  Possibly both.

I think we have been treated well by this place over the years.  That's why our group keeps coming back.  Of that group, we have about half a dozen or so who are diehards, those who have been to most of my Game-watching events going back many, many years.  I love them because I get to see them throughout the fall.  I would have no reason to do this if they didn't continue to show up.  So, if and when they have a concern, it would be my duty to listen and consider their grievances.

So, a couple weeks ago our alma mater's Game was on a Saturday night.  It was getting busy, but we found a table.  One of my regulars -- and seriously, this has been the group's A1 from day one -- comes in.  He's been under the weather lately, but he still managed to show up to root not only for our alma mater by also for The Los Angeles Dodgers, of whom he has been a lifelong fan.

Like I said, it got busy.  Not a big deal for a Saturday night, at least in my estimation.  After about five minutes my friend leans into me and says, "You know, I think I'm going to be leaving soon because the waitress is pissing me off."  Whoa.  He's never said that before.  Maybe things were going to blow over because we found a table closer to a TV that would show our Game, but after we scrambled to that table, he decided to leave.  He had a Dodgers hat on; he was planning on staying several hours to watch our football team and the Dodgers.  But he left maybe 15 minutes after he came.

Later that evening, after both the Dodgers and our football team won, I texted him.  I apologized if him leaving early was my fault.  It wasn't, he said, but it was the servers, two of them.  First, and one of the other regulars noticed this when I kind of brushed it off: One of the waitresses told my friend he should not be using a high chair he took from another table because a low one was available at our first table, but my friend's health issues get exacerbated when sitting too low.  There might have been an issue regarding the possibility that this low chair was underneath our first table, so maybe the server didn't know my friend couldn't see it.  Second, another waitress wanted us to wait to get onto this second table until she cleared all the dishes and glasses and wiped it down.  I think that's fine; in fact, I think that is what servers are supposed to do.  But the way my friend put it in his text to me, that was the final straw.  He felt disrespected twice, and so he split.

He was planning not to join us for our team's previous Game because that was on a Friday.  But they're back on Saturdays now, and so I would expect him to come.  But will he?  I wanted to ask him earlier in the week, but I got so busy ... well, to be honest, I have been thinking up the right words to say.  Look, I have left restaurants and bars before because I felt disrespected.  If you feel that way, go up and leave.  You should.  The problem is is that if you feel that way, you never go back to that place.  But that would mean, for me, that my good, good friend, and he's a real good guy, is never joining us for these Game-watching events ever again -- unless I change the venue.  And I am loathe to change our venue.  Sure, it would be nice to have the sound on.  There is a school with a bigger alumni group that literally takes over the bar when their Game is on, forcing us to one table or even to another place.  And maybe going downtown is a deterrent.  But it is such a pain in the you-know-what to patronize a brand-new bar that won't push us aside for a bigger alumni group.  As many disadvantages we've had to put up with, the equity we have built over the years is, to me, still worth staying at this place.  And, finally, I would like to think the slights my friend felt are not so serious enough to not go back.  But that's my perspective, not his, and as a leader, I feel like I have to take his considerations into account seriously.

So, what to do?  I need to text him to ask if he's coming.  Hopefully he'll say he'll give the place another chance.  But if he doesn't want to come back ... well, I don't want to change the place just because he's no longer comfortable going there.  Sure, you can call it laziness, but I don't have the energy to find another sports bar, I just don't.  Does that make me a bad leader if I make the decision to stay?  Maybe, but I can't see myself doing anything else.  So it's my friend or the bar.  And I can't decide.

Sucks being a leader.

I went to see Purple Rain the musical last/Wednesday night.  It was good, although it ran long and it had pacing issues.  It just got out of previews and I still don't think it's in its finished form.  But I'm glad my sister convinced me to see the show.

Anyway, as much as I liked going to see it with my sis, I really am in no position to go out after I get home from work these days.  Because I am dead tired right now, so tired I think I am going to turn in.  Like, right now.  So darn tired. ...

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -8).  Being there, dying and living with every mind-boggling, momentum-swinging moment as it was happening, I haven't really been able to step back and digest that Saturday afternoon's victory over The Seattle Sounders, which gave the Loons the series Win and advanced them to the Western Conference Semifinals, was one of the craziest Games Major League Soccer has ever seen.

In last Week's WMNSS, I thought that I would be go home from Game 3 of this MLS First Round series disappointed, and true to #MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA form, MNUFC provided practically from the jump, coughing up two Goals in the Fifth and Ninth Minutes.  Joaquin Pereyra pulled one back via a diabolical Free Kick in the 19th, but in the 41st Minute, Joseph Rosales head-butted Jesus Ferreira of Seattle, resulting in a Red Card.

That was when I started to emotionally check out of the Match, and the season.  No way does a team -- a Minnesota sports team -- come back from both a Goal and a man down.  But goddammit, they did, and they did it off set pieces.  Jefferson Diaz was the recipient of a header in the 62nd Minute to tie it up, and then in the 71st, off a Corner Kick, Pereyra found a completely unmarked Anthony Markanich at the far post to bang the ball home and give United FC a 3-2 lead.  I have never, and I mean never, seen a 10-man squad score two Goals, let alone score twice to take the lead over a fully-manned club.

But again, this is a Minnesota team, and as much as it would have been glorious if they held on, they fuckin' didn't; Jordan Morris pounced on a loose ball (off a Sounders Corner, natch) to tie it up in the 88th Minute.  That sent this Game, like Game 1, into Penalty Kicks, and then into Sudden Death Penalty Kicks, where the Loons, who went first, couldn't slot it home on back-to-back attempts.  Seattle had two chances to end this Match and advance, but one shot hit the post, and another was saved by Goalkeeper Of The Year, Dayne St. Clair.

The teams reached Penalty Kick #10.  MNUFC, who could only draw their Penalty Kick scorers from those on the field at the end of the Regular Time, had to go to St. Clair to kick ... and he succeeded, putting the soccer ball past Sounders GK Andy Thomas, who came in late in regulation for Stefan Frei for his so-called excellent PK skills.  Even though an outfield player, Cristian Roldan, was available, the two Goalkeepers just rotated around each other, and Thomas needed to score to extend, and:

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So Minnesota wins 3-3, in Penalty Kicks 7-6, in what is The Craziest MNUFC Match Ever.  I love their resilience, but being a Debbie Downer, they shouldn't have gone down 2-0, they shouldn't have allowed that Game-tying Goal late, and they got lucky a few times as Seattle, like they did in Game 1, hit the woodwork a few times.  They get the top spot this Week, but they remain in negative numbers.  And they now travel to San Diego to face the expansion club that won the West and just smashed Portland, 4-0, to take Game 3 of their series.  I want to think that an expansion team cannot be good enough to beat a team (and from here on out it's just one Match) that's been established for nine Years, but it seems as though United FC have their work cut out for them.  Oh, by the way, I'm no fan of the date and time of this Game: Monday the 24th at 9 p.m.  The hell?  You can't play this one on a weekend, football be damned?

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  The next three U. teams all went undefeated, so I'm ranking by (first) number of victories and (second) vibes.  And I will list the U. femaler b-ballers first by virtue of their blowout Wins over Manhattan by 63 and, in what should have been a sterner test, Marquette by 43, both at home.  This probably doesn't prove much about this squad's strength, but hey, better to win big than to lose.  And they won't lose their only Game this screening Week, early Friday evening vs. The New Jersey Institute Of Technology, or NJIT.

#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -9).  After a tough stretch where they lost four in a row, they bounced back by sweeping Notre Dame at Mariucci over the weekend by scores of 3-0 and 4-1.  It was a sorely-needed pair or Wins to show this group of young players they can be successful.  And yet I'm not quite sure if they can sweep their next opponent, the middle of three the U. gets to face on home ice: Long Island, a program that started up in 2020.  I think this is the first time they've ever played the Sharks.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Only played one Game, and that was a 95-50 destruction of Alcorn St. at The Barn on early Saturday afternoon.  They will face a, and probably the, test of their non-conference schedule tonight/Wednesday night as they face Missouri for only the fourth time in school history, and this will be a true road test in Columbia, Mo.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  After getting blasted at MSG by 23 to New York, they have feasted on weaker Western Conference competition, beating The Bastard New Orleans Jazz by 40 at home (this is an NBA Cup Game where Margin Of Victory is the tie-breaker), defeating The Bastard Rochester Royals in Sacramento by 27, then eking by said Jazz again in Salt Lake City yesterday/Tuesday by seven.  Their Point Guard situation remains a work in progress, and the Defense has yet to show up in any meaningful way.

The T-Wolves begin a four-Game homestand by hosting said Kings and Denver back-to-back, then playing Cooper Flagg and Dallas on Monday.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -5).  They're not awful anymore, I guess, just ... mediocre-minus.  Wins over the Islanders and The Bastard Atlanta Flames are sandwiched this screening Week by defeats at Carolina and at home to San Jose, who scored in the Third Period to tie it up and then won it in Overtime, 2-1.  That Game sums up the Mild so far this Year: Offensively inept, prone to coughing up leads late in Games as often as getting behind early in Games.  This fucking team is going nowhere.

It's a (thankfully) light Week for the Mild: Not too long after a six-tilt homestand, they continue a five-contest homestand playing Anaheim and (Las) Vegas back-to-back this weekend.

#-7: Vikings (Last Week: 0).  Blame this Loss on the Offense.  This was an eminently winnable Game Sunday against The Bastard Cleveland Browns, but this 27-19 defeat can be explained through those two big fundamentals, Turnovers and Penalties.  The Vikes were penalized 13 times for a total of 102 Yards.  Maddeningly, eight of those flags were for False Starts.  Mind you, they played this Game at U. S. Bank Stadium.  False Starts are what the road team does, for fuck's sake.

And what also did them in were that Kickoff Return Fumble by Myles Price and those two Interceptions by J. J. McCarthy.  In both picks, McCarthy was throwing it deep on Third Down for Justin Jefferson, who was targeted a dozen times on Sunday.  You want confidence in a Quarterback, but that was reckless gunslinging when gaining 40 Yards was not necessary.  Instead, the Vikings Defense had to respond on the fly with Baltimore having good Field Position a few times in the Game.  They did well, but they were put in bad situations too often because of those Turnovers and Penalties.

I don't know if I said this already, but the Front Office sees this franchise as in a "competitive rebuild."  That's kind of an oxymoron, for one.  Also, it is hard to do that with a QB in his first season as the starter.  McCarthy is showing flashes of brilliance, but he also has shown he can make some bad mistakes.  I am willing to give him grace and patience.  But how can you call yourselves a Super Bowl contender while also thinking that your Quarterback is allowed to fuck up once in a while?  Fuck-ups turn into Losses like Sunday.  That makes no sense.

This Sunday they host Chicago, who currently are above them in the Division, perish the thought.

#-8: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -7).  In Years past, this once-proud program could have stood toe-to-toe with the fellow titans of the Big Ten.  No more.  The team had a Week from hell, playing 11th-ranked Wisconsin on the road and top-ranked Nebraska at home, and they did so missing so many key players.  And yet it's horrible to see that they took only one Set versus the Badgers and got swept by the Cornhuskers.  Nebraska is a wagon; not only are they are undefeated, they haven't dropped a Set since September.  But I remember when Minnesota was a much better program than they are now.  They still might have lost both, but they sure as shit would not have lost both like this.  Stat: Nebraska had never swept the Goofers before Saturday.  They sure as fuck did now.

Minnesota is still making the NCAA Tournament.  And they will still not go far in the NCAA Tournament.  This screening Week: Home to 24th-ranked Penn St. Friday, then at Iowa Sunday.

Checking In On How I'm Doing In Fantasy Football And ... Eesh

I was doing so, so good in fantasy football to start the year.  But then the goddamn bye weeks came and I have gone into sort of a tailspin.

I am part of three fantasy football leagues.  Ironically, I am doing the worst in the one I am commissioner for.  It is also the only one of the three where we auction, which is the format that is the most involved and, because I was the only one who fuckin' showed up for the auction, the league where I basically got to pick my own team.  And now, my own team sucks.

That's not as bad as the team in another league where I started out, like, 4-0.  I think I've lost five-of-six since then.  The absolute lowest of the low came this week, where I had three guys going in Sunday's late Games with a good chance of overcoming the deficit I had ... and I didn't.  What's worse is that I had on the bench Jayden Higgins, a Wide Receiver for The Houston Texans, who put up enough fantasy football points that, if I had put him in for either a WR or a player in one of the Flex Positions, I would have won.  That's the game of fantasy sports for you, but goddammit, I hate that.

This is the league I gamble in.  I went from cruising into the winners' bracket to fighting for my fucking fantasy football playoff life.  And that really sucks.

I guess it was inevitable, even though I held out longer than I would have if I were younger.  But dammit, this wave of horniness has enveloped me this weekend, so I have had to surreptitiously rub one out each of the past two nights.  Well, when a man has to, a man has to, I guess.  I just hope I haven't got caught ... and I hope that I have cleaned up everywhere in the bathroom I needed to.  Because if I leave a trace of my, uh, life essence, and if someone sees -- or, worse, feels -- it ... sheesh. ...

If I participated in The Contest on Seinfeld, I want to think I already had won before last night.

How Long Can My Computer Hold On?

For the past ... um, I want to see the past several days, my computer has done this thing where it boots up just like normal, but then, when I try to put my password in, it won't move.  I hit the keys but the cursor just sits there, blinking a lot slower than normal.  I have to now restart it; upon its restart, I can put my password in to open up my computer.

My laptop is now old.  It runs on Windows 10.  It does not have the processor or the storage space to be upgraded to Windows 11.  Windows 10 is no longer supported as of last month, but I opted into getting updates for 10 for another year, at no charge, which makes me think then that Microsoft should have just said they won't support Windows 10 next year.  Anyway, I don't want to pay for something so expensive if I don't have nor want to.  But since it's getting older, other issues are starting to crop up.  Could something worse than this weird restart thing happen over the next year?  Possibly, and it might affect me being able to use this laptop at all.  Did I make the right decision to keep using this for another year?

Really tired right now.  Should go to bed, obviously.  But I fear that I'm so tired I won't wake up in time for the Vikings Game.  What I usually do in those cases (but especially for Vikes Games) is keep my laptop open and use it as a second alarm.  I hope I won't be so tired as to sleep through both my cellphone and my laptop.  It's never happened, and I hope it won't happen this time.  Wish me luck.

I woke up this morning at a normal hour -- 8:30-ish, when I could hear my sister leaving for something.  I spoke with my sis last night about monitoring Mother while she does her exercises this morning and, well, I figured my sister has done so much caring for My Mother, I think it is my turn to get out of bed and help out with Mother's PT while she takes several hours for herself.

After she got done exercising, I figured I had the time and the energy to clean out the gutters, something that needed to be done.  This was the perfect time; I was up, I don't have any other time to do it this weekend, and I don't know if it will be warm enough and/or not snowing for me to do it two weekends from now because I might not have time next weekend, either.  I thought there would be more leaves and detritus to clean out, but either there wasn't as much as I thought, or I didn't look closely enough, which is a possibility.

While sweeping away the leaves from the driveway, I looked up.  The skies are gloriously cloudy, and the trees on my street are still turning vivid shades of yellow, orange and red.  This weekend, this morning, would have been the perfect time to leaf-peep.  And I checked the temperature on my phone: 35 degrees, and it feels like 28.  But it doesn't feel like 28, or 35.  Maybe I'm hot from all the gutter-cleaning I was doing, but I felt quite warm and cozy for what I was wearing.  Anyway, this looked like perfect fall weather, and so I had to take a couple pictures of how I want the sky to look every day for the rest of my life.  No, really.

Just How Long Could I Have Kept My Bandages On?

I don't remove things if it's not hurting anything.  For example, do you know those stickers on credit cards telling you how to active them, and then once activated you're supposed to remove the stickers?  I don't remove them.  Scandal!  But why?  Would my card get stolen if someone got ahold of it with the sticker on?  Don't think so.

I'm the same way with bandages.  I swear, and I say this with a certain amount of pride, I have kept bandages on for shots I've gotten for more than a month.  It's not hurting me none, so why take them off?  It's a testament to how well the adhesive on the bandage is sticking to my skin.  Sure, I've taken bandages off once one side gets wet and flops off my skin.  There's no way I can keep it on when it's not doing its job anymore.  But removing a bandage that remains affixed to my skin even after taking shower after shower?  That's like ripping a baby from their mother's arms.  I couldn't do it.

OK, I might be exaggerating when I say a bandage on your body for a long time isn't hurting anyone.  I got my flu shot at work the middle of last month, and I got my COVID shot at my doctor's check-up the Friday before Halloween.  Both bandages were adhering fine, even excellent.  I only ripped off the perfect flu shot bandage after ten days because it was getting a tad itchy underneath, and I might have been imagining the itchiness.  The bandage for my COVID shot was not itching me at all, but I figured I would take it off also after ten days because ... well, maybe it's a bit silly for me to keep a bandage on well after the needle puncture has healed.  But maybe it hasn't after ten days and it still needs the Band-Aid?  OK, I'm kidding, I think.  Maybe I did so after ten days because of my OCD; if I took off the flu shot bandage after ten days, I'd give the COVID shot bandage the same amount of "life."

I will say this: If the area underneath the flu shot bandage wasn't making me scratch it, I would have kept both on.  And no, I wouldn't've cared that people think it would be weird.  Heck, both bandages are on the top of each bicep (flu left arm, COVID right arm) and it's fall/winter; no one is going to see my arms and know I've had them on longer than any other normal human.  Who knows, one day I might keep my bandages on for two months, or even longer. ...

I've been so busy with work and taking care of Mother and my sister being in town that I have yet to follow up with my clinic about the blood tests I took and the referral for physical therapy.  I've been meaning to do it, but I've been sidetracked by, well, everything.  And now I just remembered that I need to write down on the family calendar when I can't come home for dinner.  Gosh, things continue to get away from me.

Yes, this is a short and pithy blog post.  But it's all I have time for.  Sorry.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Vikings (Last Week: -6).  Nope, I sure as shit did not see this coming.  I thought they would march into Detroit and walk out pissing and shitting down their legs after the Lions beat their asses.  It would have been their third defeat in a row, accelerating talk that this should be a rebuilding year and the main goal for the rest of the season is to see if J. J. McCarthy is The One.

I keep forgetting that the NFL is The Best League In The World because you don't know what the fuck is going to happen week to week.  Playing ten Days after their worst Loss in quite some time, where no player wearing purple seemed prepared to be on the same field as The Los Angeles Chargers, they confidently went into Ford Field and eked out a close but well-earned 27-24 Win.  It ranks up there with that historic comeback Victory over The Bastard Baltimore Colts as The Best Win in The Kevin O'Connell Era.

It looks like it matters very much when you get your best players back from injury.  Especially Andrew Van Ginkel, the Linebacker who helped control the Detroit run game and sacked Lions Quarterback Jared Goff five times.  Meanwhile, the Vikings run game looked stout and even mighty at times, a testament to how the Offensive (as well as the Defensive) Line actually dictated the tenor of the Game.  It looked like Minnesota was pushing Detroit around on both sides of the ball, something I didn't think could happen even if the Vikes were at 100%.  And still, the Lions had a chance to win it at the end.  But McCarthy, who had an up-and-down performance, came through in the clutch, firing a Pass to Jalen Nailor that gave Minnesota a First Down under two Minutes that allowed them to crouch in Victory Formation until time ran out.

Yes, Minnesota is 4-4 and, technically, in last place in the NFC North Division.  But given they just beat a Super Bowl contender at their house, and suddenly hopes springs anew.  For sure that's why they get the top spot this screening Week, and why they get to rise above negative numbers.  But now they have to parlay this upswing in hope at home vs. The Bastard Cleveland Browns, who, like the Vikings, had high expectations but have underachieved in the face of injury so far this season.  Both clubs want to get onto better playoff footing, but only one team will actually do it.  We will see who on Sunday.

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (NEW SEASON!!).  Year 3 of The Dawn Plitzuweit Era began with a 91-47 immolation of North Dakota at Williams Arena last/Tuesday night.  While her Gophers won the WBIT last season, I was hoping the upward trajectory would be a bit higher by now.  Still, there is an expectation that the U. will finally get into the NCAA Tournament.  We shall see.  In the meantime, they continue the four-Game homestand that begins their season with tilts versus Manhattan on Friday and, and this is nothing to sneeze at, Marquette on Tuesday.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (NEW SEASON!!).  This is Year 1 of The Niko Medved Era.  Ben Johnson was a nice guy who has maroon and gold in his DNA, but I can see why Mark Coyle decided to end his tenure as Head Coach after four Years.  Coyle brought in who any Athletic Director would bring in to jumpstart a program: A hotshot Coach from a lower school who should flashes of brilliance, hopefully within the NCAA Tournament.  Oh, and it helps that Medved is from Roseville.

And the Gophs started out well, crushing Gardner-Webb at The Barn Monday, 87-60.  We'll see how this works, but I always rely on my edict -- give a Head Coach in their first Year a mulligan.  Oh, by the way, I ranked the male b-ballers below the female ones because of lower margin of victory.

They host Alcorn St. early Saturday afternoon.

#-3: Gopher football (Last Week: -5).  Michigan St. may be The Worst Team In The Big Ten (although two once-proud programs, Wisconsin and Penn St., might give the Spartans a run for their money), and yet the Golden Gophers only beat them in OT Saturday, 23-20.  This is the kind of struggle-against-a-bad-opponent result too indicative of The P. J. Fleck Era when they should be beating such clubs as a matter of course.  But hey, this isn't the Minnesota of the Bronco Nagurski years.  What is Coyle going to do, fire Fleck when LSU, Penn St., Florida and UCLA are looking for Head Coaches, too?  All you can do is shrug and accept the Wins no matter how hard they come.

Oh, winning isn't coming for the U.'s next Game.  They are at Oregon on the 14th.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  The good news is is that they shook off that inexplicable loss to The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers last Wednesday (via a miracle by Austin Reaves) with Wins at Charlotte and Brooklyn.  But those two squads suck.  Without considering the opponent, the T-Wolves appear to be blending in solidly on Offense, particularly Julius Randle, but so far, the intensity on Defense that was there the last two Years has yet to show up.  Maybe it will -- and definitely it should -- show up on this busy screening Week.  The Wolves visit Karl-Anthony Towns and The New York Knicks in Madison Square Garden tonight/Wednesday night, then they travel home to host The Bastard New Orleans Jazz in their first NBA Cup Game, then travel again to face The Bastard Rochester Royals Sunday night and Utah (again) Monday night.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -8).  Still not liking the vibes.  They began the screening Week losing emphatically at home to Pittsburgh Thursday, 4-1.  It was so bad that certain players refused to speak to The Media, which is a sign of an immature, unprofessional team, if I may say.  But they wrapped what would have been a horrid long homestand with a pair of Wins.  Saturday's 5-2 victory was nice.  Last/Tuesday's 3-2 Win over Nashville had to go into Overtime because Steven Stamkos scored for the Predators with .3 Seconds left, and then the Wild were awarded the Win on a Goal by Marcus Johansson even though the Preds' net was dislodged.

They're still near the bottom of the West, though.  And now they have to go on the road to start a busy Week: The Bastard Hartford Whalers tomorrow/Thursday night, at The New York Islanders Friday, then home to face The Bastard Atlanta Flames (Sunday) and San Jose (Tuesday).

#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  The good news is that they went to Madison and beat top-ranked Wisconsin on Halloween, 5-1.  The bad news is that they lost to the Badgers the next night by a score of 7-2.  Did Wisconsin just allow Minnesota to win on Friday, or is this a sign the Gophers can finally hang with one of the true powers of women's hockey?  I really don't know.  But through half of the eight regular season Games that only matter, they're 2-2.  Could be better, could be worse.

The squad has the weekend off before hosting Bemidji St.  While the Saturday afternoon contest will be at Ridder Arena, the one Friday afternoon will be at Mariucci Arena.

#-7: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  At home this Week they swept Illinois Wednesday, but lost to my alma mater in five Sets Saturday.  Don't know what to make of that, but one volleyball maven on a chatboard I lurk from time to time says the Gophs are a 4-Seed and thus get to host the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament.  Unfortunately, the ol' resume is going to get a couple blotches because this might be The Worst Regular Season Week In Program History: They are at 11th-ranked Wisconsin tonight/Wednesday night, then host top-ranked Nebraska Saturday afternoon.

#-8: United FC (Last Week: -2).  Yeah, this is what I was afraid of.  Our oppressors, The Seattle Sounders, tied up their First Round series with the Loons (very) late Monday night with what I consider to be a fairly solid 4-2 Win in Seattle.  It was the kind of victory over MNUFC that is typical of their outings at Lumen: They made it 3-0 right near the end of the First Half.  I am heartened, just a bit, that United FC stormed back with two Goals in First Half Injury Time; Nectarios Triantis got the Loons on the board in the 45th+1, then old reliable Robin Lod drew another one back in the 4th+5.  They just couldn't score the equalizer, and Obed Vargas scored his second to shut the door.

So the series is tied going into Saturday afternoon's rubber match back at Allianz.  It kicks off at 3, which is kind of a pain in the ass because my sister is doing something until 1:30 and I think the whole area will be buzzing for Game 3.  Minnesota might not be a main draw in MLS, but Seattle is, and yet both Hell Is Real and Miami-Nashville will play later in the evening.  Regardless, as much as I hope they break free of their chains and advance to the Quarterfinals, I have a bad feeling that I and all Loons fans will leave the stadium disappointed, again.

#-9: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  I forgot that this program lost so many veterans during the offseason.  Maybe their rank threw me off, or I thought that the young talent wearing the "M" sweater will be able to get quickly.  I was wrong, decisively so, after these lambs to the slaughter went to Madison (maybe along with the U. female icers) and got swept by scores of 5-2 (Thursday) and 4-0 (Saturday).  I don't remember the last time this team lost four Games in a row.  Anyway, they must be unranked now (when's the last time that happened?), and they host Notre Dame for Games Friday and Saturday.  It might be a long Year ahead for these guys.

Addendum To: Why Doesn't My Sister Just Fuckin' Have My Car, Huh?!

Yesterday/Monday morning I woke up early, or tried to wake up early, to see if I moved all my stuff from my car to the minivan, which I planned to take to work because, again, it looked as though I would have to use the van from today/Tuesday through Friday, so what the hell, why don't I just use the van all week?

As I was leaving, I see My Father putting his shoes on.  Where's he going?  A doctor's appointment, I would learn later.  He didn't tell me this anytime it would have been useful to me; guess I know from whom I get my propensity to keep secrets.  Anyway, it looked as though he planned on using the minivan.  Mother was up at the time and tried to ask him if he should use the car instead, which led to him just bolting out the door, which led to her telling me to tell him if I wanted to use the van instead, which led to me kind of yelling at her that that's exactly what I was fucking doing.

I stopped Father in time to look into the van.  It was clean; I didn't remember, but apparently on Saturday night, I did take time after I came back from the Game I was watching to put all my stuff back into my car.  (Remember, all that stuff about planning on using the minivan all week wasn't a thought in my head until Sunday, when my sister said that she was taking the car tomorrow/Wednesday to meet her friend for dinner.)  Meanwhile, My Father got into the minivan and peeled off to the doctor's like he just robbed a bank; I don't remember the last time he took off for anywhere that fast.

So, I used my car yesterday/Monday.  And it turns out I will be using it tomorrow/Wednesday, as well.  My sister told me that the dinner her friend wants to set up changed from tomorrow/Wednesday to today/Tuesday.  Also, Father has another doctor's appointment then.  So that means that after I come back from work tonight/Tuesday night I'll have to move all my stuff from the minivan into my car (I have already put all the stuff I'll need for work today/Tuesday in the minivan).  And then after work tomorrow/Wednesday, I'll have to move all my stuff from my car into the minivan, which I will use to get to work Thursday and Friday.

Man, life will be so much simpler once everybody leaves.

Why Doesn't My Sister Just Fuckin' Have My Car, Huh?!

So my sister has been using my car.  It's small and short and thus manageable, unlike the unwieldy and old minivan my parents use.  That van is a warhorse, but it's hard to account for the size, and when I pull out of parking spaces, I'm always fearful that I'll hit something because it's so big.

Well, my sis has been using my car a lot, leaving me to use the minivan, mainly to go to and from work.  She now uses my car to ferry Mother around for physical therapy.  But before she has been using it for frivolous things, like seeing childhood friends and going shopping.  And it looks as though she is getting a little bolder when it comes to requesting it.  Last week she needed it Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, and I figured on Wednesday night that if she needed to use the car to take Mother to PT on Friday, I might as well use the minivan on Thursday as well as Friday.  I transfer the stuff I think I need to take to work with me -- sunglasses, sunvisors, maybe the tire pressure gauge -- into the minivan.  It doesn't make sense to me to use my car for just one day because I would have to shlep all that from the minivan back into my car, and then do the reverse so my sister and Mother could use it on Friday.

It's gotten more ridiculous this week.  Mother has physical therapy Tuesday and Thursday.  Sister said on Saturday that she wanted to use my car on Friday to see my brother and niece.  Finally, last/Sunday night she told me that her friend wants to see her for dinner, an early dinner, on Wednesday.  Well, shit.  If I need to take the minivan from Tuesday to Friday, I might as well fucking take the minivan today/Monday too, right?  So, for this week, it feels as if I own the minivan and my sister owns what used to be my car.  I should probably transfer the title to her since she's using it so goddamn much.

Fuckin' Christ, I think I transferred all my stuff from the van into the car, too.  I'll have to wake up early to dump all that shit back into the van.  Fuck me.  Oh yeah: I am annoyed, and my sister knows it, and she likes that I'm annoyed.  Pffft.

So Mother was rushed to the ER yesterday.  She was complaining about being quite dizzy.  When the EMTs came, she said she had very low blood pressure.

She got stabilized at the hospital close to us.  I had work, but she looked like she was stabilized, plus, thank Buddha, my sister was there with her.

Mother got out four, five hours later.  Side effect from her medication, not enough water, constipation ... it looks as though it was a combination of all those things.  She seems fine now, but that reason seems a bit too vague for me, and I'm scared that she will have a relapse again -- especially today, since sister is out with family and took my car (again).

I hope Mother is getting better, because I can't tell.

My Sister Knows Too Much

So my sister Thursday night busted me for not putting aside the bathmat.  My Mother is using the upstairs bathroom because for now she's confined to one floor and she should where the food is.  But she's still using a walker, which means that any loose object on the floor can trip her up.

My sister had warned me to put the mat away once I was done in there, but I forgot after I took my shower.  She told/admonished me through my bedroom door, and she specifically told me that she was just going to leave the mat there for me to put away.  I guess I can't complain about her move too much, but in the context of siblings calling siblings out, I'm still quite peeved.

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Just to blow off some steam, I tried to look at porn Thursday night, too.  But the damn pop-up ad started off with a woman moaning in ecstasy as the guy stuck himself inside her, and I was listening to Halloween music on YouTube when that fucking happened.  And my sister's bedroom adjoins mine; we share a wall, and both our beds push up against that wall.

Did she hear?  I assume she has, even though she may be asleep.  I turned the sound down on my computer as soon as that porn star screamed, but it may have been too late.  My sister's smart and observant; she hears everything.

I love her, but I'm getting to the point where I wonder when is she leaving.

Turns Out I'm Doing Nothing For Halloween

I always go out on Halloween.  I don't go out for Halloween, mind you; I find something to do to avoid the trick-or-treaters.  I've done it so long it's become routine to just stay out after work.

I was making plans to go out tonight/Friday night/Halloween when I asked my sister if she wanted to do anything.  She decided she wouldn't go because she feels she needs to take care of Mother, who is still recuperating from surgery.  And you know, that totally makes sense.  We two can't just go out and do something on a Friday night three days after our mom went under the knife.  So I then thought I would just do something by myself, like get a massage or go to a movie.  But then I realized Mother still was hurt, so maybe I should come back home after work -- you know, just because.  And so I will.

Won't enjoy it.  Beyond not having a Friday night to myself, I am scared that trick-or-treaters will still ring the doorbell at my house.  I assume that my parents make sure no one comes knocking by turning off all the lights and staying in their bedroom.  But My Mother can't do that.  She is supposed to walk around the house to build up strength in her new knee.  That obviously means the lights in the house have to be on, and I'm scared some dumb or overeager kids will see that as a sign we have candy.  I would rather not be around for that awkwardness, but alas, I will be around in case that happens, unfortunately.