Man, Those Are Some Big Bananas

Just at a banana.  Father always packs two things for me to take to work with me.  I keep telling him I don't need anything, but because he insists, I eat only one and take the other thing home with me, possibly to eat as a late-night snack.

I think I've told my thinking about this before, but usually, I take home the banana.  The other thing is some pastry Mother made that should be microwaved.  If I took it home, it'd go up to room temperature, and unlike a banana, I don't think it's supposed to be stored like that, so I usually eat that.  Anyway, I have noticed that, more often than not, the bananas Father gets are huge -- like, well, girthy huge.  The one I just ate was obscenely big.  I don't think Father means anything homoerotic about it (well, beyond the inescapable fact that the banana is shaped like a phallus), he wants the biggest pieces of food he can buy, and bananas are a prime example of this want of his.

I don't need to eat big bananas.  Heck, I usually don't eat any bananas when they're not in town because they'll go bad before I get around to eating them all.  But since Father is in town, I have to eat these huge frickin' bananas he'll buy, I guess ...

Rationing Days Off

In an unusual break in my day yesterday/Wednesday at work, I had time to re-parcel out my days off.  For some time earlier in the year, I was afraid that I would not be able to take enough days off, and if I didn't before the year was out, I would just flat-out lose them.

Well, I might have my calculations wrong, but I think I have the opposite problem now.  I did the math (I think) and I believed a few months ago that I need to average two days off a month in order to use up all the paid time off I would otherwise lose.  However, I strayed from that.  Sometimes it was out of necessity; for example, I think May filled up a lot, and so I don't think I took the two days off I thought I could.  Other times I wanted to take a third because ... well, take tomorrow/Friday.  I thought I would be taking a road trip to see my stripper girlfriend in western Minnesota, but her toilet doesn't work anymore, so that plan blew up in smoke, and then my parents came home, so there won't be a long weekend anywhere.  (I'm still taking the day off because I want to go to the Minneapolis Institute of Art and check out the art collection of Alicia Keys and her husband.)  And next month I have two MNUFC soccer Matches back-to-back.  Assuming there would be enough work for me to have to stay late, which I can't do if I want to get to the Matches on time, I figured I would stay as late at work as I could for the first Loons date, then take the next day off so that if the person to whom I am leaving so much work the first day is pissed at me, I wouldn't be there.  If she holds a grudge when I come back on Wednesday, well, maybe I'll be dead.

Bottom line is that, somehow, I now average less than two days per month to get to where I need to be.  I don't want to take off more days than I should, but then again I have gotten into the mindset that if I want to take a day off, I don't want anything to stop me.  Well, if I keep this up, I won't have any more days off I can take off.  So yeah, I'm in kind of a bind.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  Well, the bad news is that the Lynx blinked first before The New York Liberty, losing their first Game of the season at Seattle Wednesday by ten.  That actually put the Storm in the driver's seat to be The Western Conference's representative for The Commissioner's Cup.  But they lost their next Game, to The Golden State Valkyries (and congratulations to them for standing up for themselves and proving they won't be pushed around).  That allowed the Lynx to spurt past Seattle for the West's CC spot by routing Los Angeles at home Saturday afternoon by 23 and, after going into the Half down nine, doubling up The Bastard Utah Starzzz/San Antonio Silver Stars 46-23, to beat Las Vegas by 14 last/Tuesday night.

They will get New Yo ... no!  Interestingly enough, coming into last/Tuesday night, the team controlling its destiny in the East was Atlanta.  But the Dream lost to the Liberty by five in Brooklyn.  That then gave the birth to, of all clubs, The Indiana Fever, who blitzed The Bastard Orlando Miracle by 16 (in a ugly Game; Caitlin Clark and a couple Sun players got into a scuffle and got T'd up).  In their Game before, they gave New York their first Loss of the Year, which also was Clark's first Game back from her left quad strain.  She scored 32 Points, grabbed eight Rebounds and dished out nine Assists.

That victory over the Liberty was the tie-breaker that got the Fever into the Commissioner's Cup Final vs. the Lynx.  It'll be held on Tuesday, July 1, and it'll be held in Target Center.  They should probably pull down the tarps for that one.  But will they have Napheesa Collier for that cup final?  She left in the First Half of the Game versus Las Vegas.  The others stepped up to ace out the Aces, but will she need to sit out league Games against the Sparks (at home Saturday) and the Mystics (in D. C. Tuesday) to heal up?

#-2: United FC (Re-Entry!).  I described much of the Match -- well, from the perspective of missing San Diego FC's go-ahead Goal because I was only Twitter or Bluesky.  But there is a bigger takeaway from this Loss.  The two best sides in The Western Conference all season up to this point have been The Vancouver Whitecaps (in first) and SDFC (in second).  Both clubs came to Allianz Field in highly-anticipated matchups, but missing key pieces ... and yet came away with two-Goal Wins.  I still think the Loons are a good team.  But if those two defeats are any indication -- and I am prepared to step out on a ledge to declare this is a pattern -- MNUFC are a clear tier above the squads below them right now, and a clear tier below the ones above them right now.  Sorry to sound didactic, but this is a hard truth that will be more difficult to dispel as the Matches get more important.

Hmmm ... when they played Saturday, it was 13 Days from the previous tilt, and it'll be another 11 before they play again, home to Houston.  So they're dropping out of the WMNSS next Week.  Cool.  Saves me work.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  The sudden shakiness of the pitching, both from the Rotation and the Bullpen, is sinking the Twinks right now.  They started the screening Week defeating The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0, 6-2, but have lost five in row since.  That includes getting swept in Houston by the Asterisks/Trashstros, the last two in excruciating, Game-ending fashion.  They are 2-8 in their last ten contests, slipped back to .500, and freefallen out of a playoff spot.  All these injuries that currently are plaguing the team have overshadowed the fact that the most notable face of this organization's injury woes of recent years, Byron Buxton, has been relatively healthy so far.  He's been producing pretty well, but it's going for naught.  What cruel irony.

They're finishing a trio in Cincinnati, they will host The Bastard Seattle Pilots for a three-Game series over the weekend, then they will host The Seattle Mariners for a four-Game set starting Monday.

Evil Is Winning

So my parents are home.  No, that's not bad in and of itself, but still ... I don't want them here.

So I'm in a foul mood because of that and because I think a part of the house is starting to fall apart (haven't told them yet, maybe tomorrow if I get home from work in time, which is 50/50).  But this Republican terrorist assassinated a state Senator, her husband and their dog, and no amount of justice is going to bring them back.  Donald Trump still holds power, and Republicans will still get their way.  There are enough people who will support these fascists to the end, and many more who don't care that democracy is slipping through our fingers.  Finally, and I don't care that I am equating sports to all this "real world" stuff, but The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics won Game 5 of the NBA Finals last/Monday night and might be able to finish it up Thursday.  And while I respect The Florida Panthers, I still do not like when cities that do not get cold enough for ice to form naturally wins Stanley Cups over cities that do, especially when they are about to do it two Years in a row, like what probably will happen in Game 6 tonight/Tuesday night.

The bad guys are winning.  Evil is winning.  And I now have to be careful around a house that might be falling apart because my parents have come back home.  Fuck all this unfair bullshit.

The House Is Falling Apart

My world and the world is ending (although they caught the assassin, thank the gods above), and now, the house is falling apart.  I heard things before, literally, but just now I finally paid close attention and isolated just what is going on.

I finally realized that the floorboards of the hallway just between my bedroom and kitchen is making a lot, and I mean a lot, of noise.  I kind of thought those creaks were beats coming from my satellite radio, which I cast on to the big TV in the dining room.  But I realized that I heard them when I was walking from my bedroom to my kitchen.  I then started pressing down on those floorboards, and they were creaking like mad.  Now that I actually "hear" them, it's kind of scary what is going on now: I walk, just normal, over those floorboards, they make a slight by audible "creak" -- and after that I hear one or two loud ... well, let's just say knocks, and they are pretty loud.  I don't exactly know what's going on, but I suspect something there is giving way.

It's a hell of a thing to tell my parents when they come back, but I think I have to tell them.  Maybe it's been this bad for a long time and we just didn't realize it, but now that I have focused on it, it's something I have to raise with my folks.

Things just kind of suck now.  I'm not happy that they're coming home, and I am not ready for them to come home, but there's no time for me to do anything to prepare for them coming home besides the absolutely necessary and basic.  And it's just a buzzkill, man, it feels like an immense invasion of privacy.

Doomscroll Addiction Got Me Again

It was a combination of things again.  The big thing, of course, was the political assassinations of former Speaker of the Minnesota House Melissa Hortman and her husband by that Republican terrorist (and goddammit, we have to start describing them as they are: Republican terrorists) who's still fucking running loose.  My parents coming home has got me down.  The weather was extremely cold (well, temperatures in the fifties and sixties, which isn't too bad in and of itself, but it was drizzling off and on, and it totally matched the mood set by the devastating murders overnight).

Plus, I had to work a Game this/Saturday afternoon before going to the United FC Match in the evening.  I thought I would have time to get in a solid nap, but my best friend and his wife were in town.  Downtown Minneapolis, in fact, so it was too easy to just walk from Target Center to their hotel to chat with them for 75 minutes.  It's been about a decade since I've seen them, so yeah, I skipped a nap, which I desperately needed, to talk.  And then, once I got home, diarrhea attacked me.  I think my bowels were just stuck in me and the breakfast I ate before the Game was just the thing to loosen my stool.  Unfortunately I couldn't get as much sleep in as I wanted because I had to go back to the bathroom.  (Still, I think I got, maybe, ten minutes.  But it was a hard sleep; the alarm woke me up and I was all, "What?  What happened?"  That's a sure sign that you were out like a busted light.)

Anyway, I got to the MNUFC Match, which featured two of the weirdest Goals you'll ever see: A backpass which got past the Goalkeeper for a Loons lead, and a golazo from halfway that tied the Match.  It was a good Game, even after San Diego FC tied it up early in the Second Half at 2.  So why did I get the urge to start scrolling through my social media feeds again?  Well, the above excuses, and again, there was a dead spot during the soccer Game where, like, someone was hurt, and I took the opportunity to pick up my phone.  From there, I got sucked into looking at all the posts over the Hortman assassinations and the No Kings rallies going on in the afternoon.

And while I was down that rabbit hole, I heard an audible gasp around the stadium.  I looked up and saw the backup Loons Goalkeeper lying on his side and SDFC celebrating.  They took the lead, and they would eventually score another one to seal a 4-2 Win.  Now, missing the opponent scoring isn't the worse thing in the world, but I did buy a ticket to a sport where Goals aren't something you see all the time.  It was the Game-winning Goal, so it was important.  But I skipped watching because I am a goddamn addict for my phone.  Beyond the excuses, and I can't do anything about it now, I gotta fucking pay attention to the reality I see before me, especially if I am paying a pretty penny for it.

What I Am Describing Happened When I Phoned My Mother Just Now

No, it doesn't matter now that they're coming home 2 1/2 months early.  And I can see that Mother is telling me not to worry about it, and that she can take care of it once they come home so I don't have to do it.  But she is old and doesn't completely understand English, so this payment that needs to be made is something I'll eventually have to do, and I wanted to do it this weekend while I have the time because I don't work.

There is one overriding disappointment when she rebuffed my wanting to pay these payments for her.  It's a chore, but it's something I wanted to do.  Instead, her wishes won out, even if those wishes are, essentially, "I'll do this responsibility, you don't have to do it."  Mother (and Father for that matter) minimizing what I want to do has been a cornerstone of the nature of our relationship, and as anodyne as this interaction seems, there is a burning rage inside of me over what she (albeit innocently) said, and right now I am as frustrated over how she made me feel after the phone call as I feel over needing to be careful of myself around the house again.  I can never quite be free from the parts of my relationship with Mother that I hate because it keeps rearing its damn ugly head.

Feeling Sorry For Myself

Now that the reality of them coming home and ruining the life I have here in my house is settling in, I just spent the past several hours feeling sorry for myself.  Well, I decided I needed to see my ATF, ******a, at My Favorite Stripclub (and let's face it, it's the only stripclub I go to nowadays) before my folks return.  I could have started cleaning up around here, and I just did clean the dishes.  But I have just more than 72 hours before they come home -- what can I really do to tidy up the place?  Nothing.  So I don't do anything, or at least nothing much.

This is where my procrastination over bringing out My Stuff is a good thing.  I should've taken some things out of storage so I could go through them.  But work has been such a bear, and I've been going to soccer Matches every Saturday (at least it seems like), that I never got around to it.  And now that they're coming back, I don't have to frantically put everything back together and haul all that crap to my storage unit.  That is one big thing I don't have to worry about.

And everything else, in my opinion, is out of my control.  I was blindsided, so what can I do?  That's how I justify not dusting or wiping.  I might clean the toilets -- might.  Everything else, hey, I don't have time for.  Maybe if I had three more months like I thought I did!!

They're coming home.

They're fucking coming home.

They were supposed to be gone for three more months.  Instead, they're coming back next week.

Why?  My Mother's feet hurt.

Jesus fucking Christ.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Noting that Weeks like this, in the summer when MNUFC is on an International Break, is the lightest the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey can be, and frankly, as someone who is really tired right now and has other stuff he needs to do, I like that a lot:

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  All they do is win, win, win.  (All New York does is win as well; they both have 9-0 records, so I don't think I can nudge the Lynx up past negative numbers.)  They actually only had one Game this screening Week, and they beat The Bastard Detroit-by-way-of-Tulsa Shock in Dallas, 81-65 (without Paige Bueckers, who sat out because she was still in concussion protocol).

It feels as though that the season's coming down to the WNBA Finals against New York.  I don't think they're going to see the Liberty until, at the earliest, the Commissioner's Cup Final.  However, tonight/Tuesday night the Lynx travel to play a Seattle Storm team that could give them a game.  After that they come home to play Los Angeles Saturday afternoon (a Game I'll be working) and The Bastard Utah Starzzz/San Antonio Silver Stars, a franchise that seemed to be the W's lodestar two Years ago but has fallen off big time since, Tuesday evening.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -3).  A 2-4 Week has dropped the Twins behind Toronto -- who came to Target Field over the weekend (but didn't have their fanbase follow them [as they usually do] because Canadians think we suck ... and we do) and won two-of-three -- and Tampa, and they're now clinging to the final American League Wild Card spot, one Game ahead of Cleveland.

The Offense has come back around a bit, even though Royce Lewis still has not found his swing.  But the Starting Pitching, which led the team's comeback from a rough start, is dragging the Twins down the standings again.  Pablo Lopez has a right shoulder injury that will sideline him two or three months, and assumed replacement Zebby Matthews has a shoulder strain and will be out for about the next two weeks.  One of the call-ups, Simeon Woods Richardson (who was the fifth starter coming out of Spring Training), pitched last/Tuesday night and got shaken down over 4 2/3 Innings in an, oof, 16-4 Loss to The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0.  I want the guy to succeed, but ...

This is the time of the season where the Twins need to endure and find other ways to win.  After they finish up with Texas, they travel to Houston over the weekend, then go over to Cincinnati play a trio against the Reds starting on Tuesday.

Tryna Line Up All My Hoes

So I have a long weekend coming up.  I initially thought I would stay with my stripper girlfriend, ********a, out there so we could get down and dirty, but her septic tank is now broken, so she can't use any water there.  Yikes.

I then thought I would drop by the new place of another of my stripper girlfriends, *****y, who moved closer to the Minnesota-Wisconsin border.  I thought about making a daytrip out of it: I need to go across the border into Wisconsin to cash in a winning lottery ticket Father bought there (when was he out there?), and since that part of the state is beautiful, I figure I could incorporate a trip out there as part of the weekend.

But then ****e says she's back, and I wouldn't have to use my car to drive all the way down there to see her.  And on top of that, last/Monday night, ***e* invited me to see her out in Wisconsin.  She has kids so hanky-panky might be tough, but she has sexted me off and on, and she revs me up in ways no other stripper girlfriend has.

So I now have a bevy of options with which to spend this long weekend ... if I so desire.  It's not as if I can see all three of them over the weekend -- although it technically is possible -- because I won't have the, uh, "life essence" with which to reload adequately.  I want to shoot (tee-hee) for two, but even that might be too much for me to "perform" on a Friday and then again on a Sunday.  Moreover, if I have a rental car for the weekend, I want to drive it like I don't have a dime in it; do I spend that time going to the two stripper girlfriends farthest away from me?  Am I being paranoid that my car won't be able to make it to the border or down south?

And speaking of my car, I am thinking about moving up the date of my car service.  I have a huge trip I need to go to as part of my alumni duties, and I want to make sure my car is in tip-top shape to do that.  However, am I again being paranoid?  These has nothing to do with lining up my hoes, but I this is also on my mind now that I know about this event I need to go to.

My mind is all over the place right now.

She's Back (Finally)!!!

Well, not only did the minivan get me to the movie theater and back just fine (Ballerina was ... OK -- it's as messy and interminably violent as any Len Wiseman movie), I got fantastic news when I turned on my phone after the film: ****e's finally back!  I was so lonely that I did my monthly text to her yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  Well, after many months, she texted back!  She was overseas staying with her family, and she just got back Saturday.  What timing!

I (re-)broke the ice by asking how is her family, but we both know that eventually I want to see and fuck her again, so hopefully that hasn't changed.  Damn, it's been some time since I sunk my junk in someone!

Will The Van Make It?

I am resolute in using only the minivan today because I've put my car through a lot last week and will this week.  But I have some things I want to do today, and frankly, I am letting my paranoia about the minivan breaking down scare me again.

The good thing my afternoon to-do-list is, well, halfway over.  I went to Brooklyn Park to eat at the Cousins Maine Lobster food truck (not bad), and I am writing this at the library before I go home.  Tonight I've decided I am going to use my $5 Atom ticket to watch Ballerina tonight, but that's another ten miles/15 minutes away from me.  That's about the same distance as going out to Brooklyn Park just now, but can the van survive a second such trip?  I hope so.  I am assuming so.  But honestly, who knows?

So I have to help Mother pay someone out in Las Vegas.  I was going to do so yesterday/Saturday, but I totally forgot.  It's possible they don't work weekends, which would be my excuse, but if they do work Saturdays and not Sundays, the earliest I can pay this for my parents is Monday (that is, if I remember).

I am concerned (although only slightly so) that this bill is so overdue that come Monday, he'll call her up and scream at her, and so Mother will call and yell at me for not paying it soon enough.  And this illustrates how, even though I have the run of the house now that my parents are gone, I seem to have more responsibilities because the stuff my parents work on is now stuff I have to do because they're having run around the world.

Operation Stay In House In Full Effect

It was a good day for the most part -- there was a pretty intense storm that was short-lived but came through a couple hours ago -- but while it was warm and sunny outside, I didn't care, because I didn't have to do a darn thing today and, well, I didn't.  My main goal today was to not open the front door for any reason, and while that's easy to do, I still consider that accomplishment (even though the day of course is not over yet).

I do think I could do more today.  I woke up at around noon and, after deciding I should eat and not just watch the WNBA on CBS/Channel 4, I ate spaghetti -- and I didn't need to make the pasta sauce because Mother left several containers of them.  Wish the containers were bigger -- the pasta/sauce ratio is out of whack -- and I wish there weren't so many darn mushrooms, but whatever.  Still, there was a lot to do in order to prepare, and I have a lot to clean, which will also take time.  I think I need to clean other dishes -- my drinkware mostly -- and I should get around to doing some laundry.  And, I should go through my stuff.  But I don't know if I will have the time if I need to wash dishes.  Cooking for yourself is a lot of work.  That's something I am reminded of today.

I Don't Know Why I Let Her Hurt Me So

So I'm social media friends with this porn star.  We have a mutual friend.  I find her to be engaging and smart.  I also see, from the way she shoots down incels, that she doesn't suffer fools lightly, and as a fool, I was afraid that she would turn her verbal knives on me, and for something that I completely didn't intend.

With that being said, I did have the option of choosing my words carefully, even deciding not to comment on something she said.  And yet, on Facebook, I went over the breach when she posted a screenshot of a text exchange with, er, someone.  This guy started off the conversation (or at least the the first part of the conversation she showed) with something along the lines of, "Well, I'll probably get shot down, but YOLO -- would you go out with me?" to which she replied, "Well, since you started off being so insecure, you definitely will get shot down."  See, I see a lot of myself in this guy.  He needs to put up his walls even if he tries to do something positive because he is afraid, and he knows, that he will get hurt.  I think that's totally understandable.

Therefore, I ventured into her comments section and said something to the effect of, "I think he was only being humble."  For some reason I thought she wouldn't respond.  She is busy working on a film, or something.  Instead, she immediately goes, "WHAT?!"  Ah, whoops.

Just then I imagined myself at a fork in the road -- like, literally standing on the spot where one road splits into two.  I could just not respond, and so she would either let it go or think that I was being a dick who couldn't back up what I said.  On the other hand, I could respond, and either she could be understanding (or, better yet, laugh at my comment) ... or she could totally ridicule me.  Either way, there remains the possibility that she would block me.

With what I thought was a binary choice, I think I actually found a middle path that may have made things even worse.  I replied, quickly, and I thought I had something to say, something like, "So you're telling me this dude, who I assume you've never met, actually had a chance to meet or go out with or even have sex with you, but you shot him down because he expressed self-doubt that someone who is both gorgeous and in adult films would say yes?"  But I thought that I would be saying too much.  Also, I thought time was of the essence; if I didn't say something, she would cut me off at the knees.  So, as a stupid compromise, I went "I just ..." and then I threw up a shrug emoji.  And she replied, "ok weirdo."

Well, I guess I blew my chance to meet or go out with or even have sex with her, too.  But ever since it happened last night, she's been on my mind, and my brain continues to ask why that is.  I have seen her naked.  I have seen her "work."  She's bleepin' gorgeous and can go all night like an incinerator.  But I've never met her.  We have interacted through social media a few times, but I have never met her.  So why is her comment affecting me so much?  Better I put it this way: Why am I letting someone I've never met affect me so much?  It's because she's a porn star, or that she's hot, or that she was nice to me a few times before.  But still, I have to be honest: We've never met.  We are not friends.  So why does her comment to me make me so sad?  I can't be like that.  Otherwise, my day will be ruined whenever someone isn't nice to me.  Well, that actually happens now, but that's something that I shouldn't let happen to me, you know?

I'll try and get over it.  But there is one saving grace to all this.  I would think that if she snaps at someone like she did to me, she would block that person.  It's the Internet, after all, and if she didn't like what I said, it stands to reason that she would block me, for safety's sake or because she's annoyed.  But she hasn't, at least not yet.  Maybe she recognizes my name and thinks, "Whatever, he's harmless."  That probably is the best I can shoot for, and maybe, just maybe, I can think of something more clever to say to her in order to get back in her good graces.  (Gosh, look at me caring what she thinks of me again.)

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: May 2025

Of the dozen women in this month, I think I will point out five of them.  That's not to say that this is a down month, or that I had difficulty finding Hooters girls to single out.  I will say that I had this up on my wall for much of the month of May after my parents left, and I think I would have strained myself to get to five if I didn't appreciate the beauty of a few of these women osmotically day after day as I left my bedroom.

In ascending order:

In fifth place is Taylor, out of San Marcos, Calif.  Straight black hair that lands around the breasts, she is wearing a two-piece red bikini.  The best thing about her is that she is standing directly facing the camera, so we get to see her hot, toned body in all her taught glory.

In fourth place is Yusra, hailing from Aurora, Ill.  Wavy, dark hair that descends to her hips, she too is sporting a red two-piece.  Her hair is impressive, but even more lovely is her wide and toothy smile.  You don't see too many Hooters waitresses break out in a broad smile in these photos.

In third place is Yasmin, from, of all place, Newcastle in England.  The Brit has brunette hair that falls just above her hips, and she has on a dark blue two-piece bikini.  She is posed in a doorway but at an angle.  Still, her body is in full view, including her obviously augmented tits, which, hey, I like.  She also looks a little like Elizabeth Hurley, and that is not a bad person to look similar to.

In second place is Callie, of Greensboro, N. C.  Straight-ish blonde hair that ends around her breasts, she is wearing a periwinkle two-piece.  She too is facing straight at the camera, so we get to gaze at her beautiful body.  But the most striking thing about her is the aura she gives off.  It's a combination of innocence and, dare I say it, plainness.  Some Hooters women radiate sex.  She gives off cute vibes, but that makes her very approachable-seeming.  Moreover, I'm looking at her facial expression, which makes me think she is about to say something like, "Excuse me, do you know if you can rent paddleboards anywhere close by?"  And then you see her standing right in front of you like that and you are blown the fuck away.

Finally, in first place, is Skyler, from ... The Mall Of America.  Yep, that alone is the reason I place her above all else.  But she's a looker in her own right -- wavy, dark brown hair that is spilling down the left side of her head down to halfway between her boobs and her stomach, a light blue two-piece bikini that has a shininess that makes me think it's made out of vinyl, and a pout that could send a thousand ships.  I have never seen her work at Hooters MOA, but I think I've seen her sign calendars back in late 2023, and she's a tiny and cute one.

(Aside: None of the five I place are from Florida.  In fact, there are only two waitresses here who are from Florida.  You'd think that with Hooters predominating in Florida, there would be at least a couple more on the month.  But it seems instead that there are geographical over- and under-representations from month to month.  And Hooters seems to be giving May '25 to the, uh, overlooked areas of the Hooters empire.  Not good or bad, but it's something I've noticed.)

So congratulations to Skyler, and to the other servers who place for the month.  I will get around to touching myself to all of you when I can.

My Procrastination Got Me Into Bad Luck (Again) ...

... and it has to do with trimming my nails.  I was going to do it around 10:20, after the weather report, but I stuck around listening to Overtime of Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final on satellite radio, that got over around 11, I went to the bathroom to take a shower but scrolled through my phone.

I take long showers, but sometimes I'm amazed at how long they are.  I don't feel as though they are long because at some point it just becomes boring, you know?  And yet I went out to the bedroom to check the time: It was 11:26, just before Garbage was going to be on Kimmel, and I wanted to see that.  I'm glad I caught the band's performance, but I didn't think I was doomscrolling and in the shower that long ... and then I remembered that I say that to myself a lot.

And then I still have to trim my nails.  I need to do that all before midnight because you should be cutting them on Wednesdays because it's bad luck.  But I was sticking around to see the monologue on After Midnight.  I thought I still had time to cut my nails, but like with showering, I consistently underestimate the time I take to do them.  I thought I had time to do my nails, hands and feet, before midnight.  But I don't know.  See, I got done with my toenails, went to the bedroom and started filing while looking at the commercials.  I then realized I should take a look at my phone to see if I made it before the midnight deadline, and it said 12:02.  Shit.  I regret that I didn't immediately look at my phone once I made it to my bedroom.  Actually, I should've brought my cellphone with me to the bathroom to check the time as I was trimming my nails.  Now, I'm trying to backdate how much ad time I saw once I got into the bathroom, then thinking how many seconds I took in the bathroom between finishing my nail cutting and getting to my bedroom, and even though I don't really know, I think I crossed midnight and I was still cutting them, goddammit.

Now, I'll be damned with bad luck, and all because I couldn't get my ass going in time.  Hate myself right now.

Is one of the aftereffects of drinking three alcoholic drinks (with a free Slurpee thrown in there) constipation?  I think it's happened before, and it happened again, and I don't like it.  Dang, I just want to drink alcohol and be regular.  That too much to ask?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  I think that with the disappointment that was the end of the Timberwolves' season, more people are tuning into, and taking an interest, in the Lynx, who remain perfect to start the season.  They had a perfect Week, sandwiching road and home Wins over The Phoenix Mercury (although the Game at Phoenix Friday was nip and tuck; Natisha Hiedeman's Three with about five Second left saved the team, who was without Napheesa Collier because of a bum knee) with a victory at expansion side Golden State.

The only reason I can't put this team about negative numbers is because New York remains perfect as well.  And they're pretty fuckin' badass again this season.  Commissioner's Cup Games started Sunday, which was when the Liberty annihilated Connecticut, get this, 100-52.  Put aside how much of a Borg-like juggernaut you have to be to do that: I believe total Point Difference is the first tie-breaker in determining who hosts the Commissioner's Cup Final, so if New York and the Lynx are destined for a rematch of last season's cup Final, it once again will be held in Brooklyn.

In the meantime, the Lynx, after beating Phoenix last/Tuesday night, are off until Sunday, actually, when they face the Wings in Dallas for the second time in less than a month.  

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -2).  The Loons are a good club.  I hope they're playing this well at the end of the Year, when it matters, but better to be playing good than bad, obvi.  They had a tough two-Game roadtrip to the Pacific Northwest over four Days.  They held league leaders Vancouver to a scoreless Draw last Wednesday, and you may quibble that they should've beaten a Whitecaps side that was heavily rotated because the organization's main focus was on the CONCACAF Champions Cup that Sunday (which, by the way, they lost to Liga MX's Cruz Azul 5-0), but normally the Loons would still fold and lose in such a situation.

Then, on Sunday Night Soccer (a new marketing property to get more people excited about MLS on AppleTV+), MNUFC did something they had never done before: They actually earned a Point while in Seattle.  Ten times United FC went to play the Sounders, and ten times they lost.  But they beat that curse with a 3-2 Win that got very, very nervy before the final whistle blew.  Tani Oluwaseyi got a Brace (the first one from a beautiful Assist from the indispensable Robin Lod, who scored the Loons' second Goal), and Joaquin Pereyra continues to prove his value by making a thrilling and valiant 75-Yard run down the left side of the pitch while fending off Sounders star Cristian Roldan the whole way before the sequence ended with a Penalty Kick, which Lod slotted home to make it 2-0.  Loons fans have PTSD over the last time MNUFC had a two-Goal lead in Seattle, and Nicolas Romero's unfortunate OG made the last dozen Minutes or so of the Match a heart-pounder.  But they won, and that grit is something this Minnesota squad, or any Minnesota squad, hasn't seen quite in this way a whole lot this Year.

International Break.  Off till the 14th, when they have another big test and face expansion side, and team second in the West, San Diego FC at Allianz Field.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  A 3-3 Week which began with them dropping the series last Wednesday in a Shutout to the Bay Rays (who, by the way, are actually playing in Tampa).  Over the weekend in Seattle they lost what was the most exciting three-Game series Minnesota has played in a long time.  On Friday, the Twins were down to their final Out and then scored nine Runs over the Ninth and Tenth Innings to win going away.  The Mariners, however, won Saturday and Sunday on back-to-back Game-ending plays.

They have regained their equilibrium by taking the first two over The Oakland Sacramento Bastard Philadelphia-by-way-of-Kansas City Athletics in Sacramento Monday and last/Tuesday night.  The Twins scored ten Runs in both Wins over the A's, which belies their current scoring slump.  But the big news may be the current impotence of once red-hot prospect Royce Lewis.  He was pinch-hit for in last/Tuesday night's 10-3 victory, and he is the first Twins position player ever to slog through at least two 0-for-30 hitting droughts.  There's talk he has to get demoted down to AAA St. Paul to work on his swing.

Two more in Sactown, then they jet home to play three vs. Toronto over the weekend.  The Blue Jays fanbase regularly flock to Minneapolis in droves, but that ain't happening because Trump stupidly declared war on Canada, the dumbass.  They then host The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0 for three starting on Tuesday.

#-Infinity: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  In last screening Week's WMNSS, I said I was going to write more (and their post-mortem) here.  Well, turns out that I don't.  Well, I guess I can talk about some stuff, but I don't have the energy to eulogize the bitter finish to the end of this squad.

I just looked up the scores of the series versus The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, and they got their asses handed to them ... except for Game 4, which they lost only by two, 128-126.  Goddammit, man, if they could've pulled it out and evened the series at two Games apiece ... could it have changed the tenor?  Maybe not by the way they they lost by 26, 15 and, fuck, 30.  But it's obviously that the Game 4 Loss broke the team, and that's why they didn't even fuckin' show up for Game 5.

So now what?  I hear that the Wolves are interested in Kevin Durant.  The Phoenix Suns say they want a Center.  Many fans want Rudy Gobert to be traded.  I guess that's a match made in heaven, but I will repeat what I think I said this time last Year: You aren't promised a return trip to this level of the playoffs.  Yes, fuckin' A, the Timberwolves did it again.  But first of all, you still failed to win a championship, and second of all, do you really know you can get to the conference finals, and beyond, a third straight season?  I hope so, but shit, I'm betting against it.

And, once again, #MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA

Oh, BTW, I stayed till a bit past 8 working Monday.  I think that's a record.  Hey, the work kept coming in, and I didn't want to piss off my co-workers by leaving work for them while I high-tailed it to my two-day mini-vacation.  I am waiting for the day my boss drops the hammer on me just for doing my job, but hey, until this person gets trained, this is going to happen.

It sucked to stay so late, but again, I need the moolah.

Do You Make Sure You Brush Your Teeth Before Seeing The Dentist?

I'm going back and forth on this.  I'll be honest: I don't brush my teeth every day.  I have more important things to do, like surf the Internet and doomscroll on my phone.  I have never been an active teeth-brusher, just to be transparent.

But I usually made it a habit to brush my teeth the night before visiting the dentist, which I will do today/Tuesday.  (Never the morning of -- again, I had better things to do, like sleep in.)  I always wanted to look good for the dentist.  I couldn't imagine showing up with dirty teeth.  It's like going to school without doing your homework.  It's kind of your job, you know?

However, and I don't know if I actually put this to practice, I've begun to think I should actually not brush my teeth before going to see the dentist.  If he or she sees it at its worst, that makes him or her more determined to clean everything up.  I wonder if my teeth look good enough, the dentist would just skip over it because it looks good enough, and therefore won't dig through issues with my teeth that could be there.  For example, I will tell them that I feel some teeth sensitivity as I chew my food.

But I think I will cave and do it after I blog post this.  If my teeth are bad, maybe the dentist will be so overwhelmed cleaning everything up that she or he will in fact skip overlook problems with my teeth.  I am such a goody-goody.

The Last Fuckin' Thing I Need

I had two long conversations with my sister, one just tonight and one last night.  It's good to speak with my sister.  We don't talk often, but when we do, we talk for a long time.

With that said, I didn't like the news she gave me.  She's in touch with our uncle, with whom my parents stay when they're abroad.  My folks just returned from China yesterday/Sunday, and my uncle said my mother (his big sister) said that she was really complaining about her legs.  Maybe she's just complaining a lot, and even if it were serious, maybe she could just find some treatment over there.  But, remote as it is, my sister says there's a chance my parents will come home.  They planned on being gone four months, and they're coming back in one?!  Don't fucking ruin my plans like that.  Yeah, I guess I'm glad I haven't hauled out my shit from my storage unit (yet).  But I want to at some point, and now you're telling me there's a non-zero chance I won't be able to do that at all?  And that I won't have the run of the house to myself, and that I have to watch what I eat, and what I wear, and what I do?!  Gimme a fuckin' break!!!

Lost Scarf; They Why Come Here?

1. I think my MNUFC scarf is lost.  It's my "Legion Of Loons" one, the one I wore to the MNUFC Match up close to where I live.  I swear I didn't take it off until I into the minivan (which I used because the Match was so close), and I swear it didn't leave the minivan until I got home, so even though I couldn't find it in my home, I figured it would have to be in the minivan, which I hadn't used since coming back from MNUFC2 until yesterday/Saturday, when I drove it to and from the bank just to keep things moving.  But it wasn't there.  So, I either brought it into the house and I still can't find it in-house ... or I am lying to myself and actually took it off while I was outside somewhere.  Dammit, I really like that scarf, and it's only one of its kind I have.
2. I swear the coffeeshop where I'm blog posting this right now would punch my frequent ... uh, drinker's card even if I bought pop.  I thought they did it before.  But I just got refused; punches for prepared beverages only.  It makes sense, don't get me wrong, but if they did it before, why wouldn't they do it now?  And I don't remember the last time I ordered a prepared beverage here.  If they won't take my punches ... why come?  Well, they do make damn good chili, and they sell Topo Chico and ginger beer by the bottle, which I buy to make cocktails. ...

Four Things From Yesterday/Saturday:

1. So I was reaching into my bathroom closet for my supply of allergy nasal spray yesterday/Saturday afternoon.  I grab the bag, but when I pulled it out, I knocked over a nearly empty plastic bottle of conditioner and my sister's bottle of (and I didn't know this until I actually looked at the label) massage oil.  What?  Whatever.  Anyway, the important thing was that the bottle was glass.  Somehow, it did not shatter when it hit the floor.  Unfortunately, the bottlecap did, and bits of it went all over the place after it somehow dislodged itself from the top of the bottle, so massage oil went spilling.  I was able to Swiffer it all up, but for some time there was the sick smell of lavender.  Also, even though the very top of the bottlecap is still intact, one side of it is gone.  It's back on the bottle, but loosely.  And it sucks that I have no way to find and/or buy a new replacement cap.  Well, there's one way, but I don't have time to just run there with the bottle and find a cap size that fits it.  My main takeaway from this is I did this all without my glasses.  And yet you would think that if I didn't knock the bottles over when I thrust my hand in the closet, I would make sure not to knock them over when I took it out.  But that thought never occurred, and look at what happened.  Would I have done it if I were wearing my glasses?  Is this is a sign I'm getting clumsier in my old age?
2. The USWNT Match was a success, of course; they defeated China, 3-0.  My friend gave me great seats: Field level, which meant that before the Game began, we had the run of their, uh, Field Club restaurant (or whatever it's called), where all the food and tap beers were free.  I have been down there once before, for a Loons Match, and dammit, I miss eating and drinking like rich people do.  I had turkey with Grand Marnier cranberry sauce, beef bourguignon, mojo pork, prime rib sliders, nachos from their nacho bar, charcuterie, BBQ and sea salt chips, this long and girthy sausage on a bun, hot dog on a bun, a dinner roll with butter, popcorn, a Modelo Especial and a Wild State Wild Apple, both of which were on tap.  I skipped lunch because I knew I wanted to be damn hungry to eat everything without skipping a beat, and I managed to do so.  And I missed the lemonade, fruit punch, and desert, darn it.
3. And yet, knowing everything I gorged myself on, I still had plans on going to Bang Brewery to have a pizza from pop-up place Farina Rossa Kitchen.  They were great -- so great, in fact, that by the time I got there, they ran out of their margherita pizzas and sausage.  There were some pizzas that could be made that had jalapeño, and that's an automatic no from me, so what was left was a pizza made with ricotta, asparagus and lemon.  That seems to be a light and airy pizza.  Moreover, there were no strong flavors that my palate deemed in conflict.  I don't know if I blog posted about this, but I once had a donut with bacon on it, and I got so nauseous I barely finished it.  Well, I'm here to say that lemon does not belong on a pizza.  It just doesn't work.  (I didn't say that to the guy who took my order; when he shouted from his tent, "How do you like your pizza?" I said, "It's fantastic!)  Now, that assessment may be based on me being beyond full stuffing myself at Allianz Field.  Turns out I didn't finish the personal pan pizza I bought; I brought home the final two slices, and some time either today/Sunday or tomorrow/Monday I will eat them and maybe I'll change my mind.  But, maybe I won't.
4. I am charging my phone a second time right now.  To be fair, I didn't charge it last night while I was sleeping, so it was running dry till just before I left for the Match.  But I used a lot of the juice at Bang watching FC Dallas play The Philadelphia Union to a scoreless Draw (and eating slow, and wondering why in the hell did I order food when I'm beyond full), and I just got done talking to my sister for 51 minutes, so it needs to be recharged again.  I think I said before that the battery on this phone has been substandard ever since I needed to buy it the day after Easter 2024.  I use it heavily, and I still think it's bad.

Soccer Rules My Spare Time

This USWNT Match this/Saturday afternoon, by the way, is the fourth consecutive Saturday I will spend at Allianz Field.  The first three Saturdays were for United FC for Major League Soccer Games, and you can add a Wednesday Match I saw the Loons in for the U. S. Open Cup.  That's a lot of Games to see.  If you love it it doesn't feel like a chore, but I have to admit it's starting to get to me a bit.  I don't see how season ticket holders for baseball, basketball and hockey teams do it.

With work being such a bear these days, weekends are my only me time.  There are things I want to do, such as go through my stuff.  But (and sure, this might be just an excuse), when I have somewhere I have to go, my entire day revolves around that, to the point where anything substantial I need to do I rarely do.  What I do instead is, well, take a nap ... which I will do after I blog post this.  I might have time to juice a lemon for the cocktail I want to have after I come home, but that's all I'm doing besides the Match.

I still love soccer, and I still love MNUFC.  I might even go to a MNUFC2 Match or two now that I went to my first one a couple weeks ago.  But doing all this is a commitment, and I didn't think I would be such a soccer rube -- especially since I don't understand many and flat out don't like a few of their rules.  And in the meantime, it takes up a lot of my free time.  Oh, well.

Recouped Some Of My Money -- That's A ... Good Thing?

I am going to the United States Women's Soccer Team's Friendly against China (formally referred to as "China PR") at Allianz Field this/Saturday afternoon.  I bought a ticket several weeks ago, not thinking that my friend, who has two Major League Soccer season tickets (at least) and who frequently allows me to sit next to her because that second ticket of hers often goes unused, bought tickets to this Match.  Then I thought that, well, this is the best country-based women's soccer side on Earth, so someone would want to go to this Game with her, but my friend said no one did.  And since she bought better seats than I did (mine was in the upper deck, and I would get the brunt of the Sun throughout the Match), when she offered the seat next to her, I said hell yeah.

But that meant I needed to sell the ticket I bought.  That was an adventure in and of itself.  I thought I could just go to any scalper site and put it up.  But since I bought it through Ticketmaster, I had to sell it through Ticketmaster.  And that ain't so simple, either.  I had no way of, I guess, pre-transferring it so the ticket automatically gets electronically given to the buyer, which was weird to me.  So I had to do some digging and I then found out that United States Soccer has its own, uh, mini-site within which it can control the tickets USWNT Games are sold for and to.  If I didn't know this mini-site even existed, I would not have been able to sell my ticket.

It gets a even more complicated than that.  I decided to initially sell my ticket at a price where I would recoup the amount for which I bought it.  Because this site (and, ostensibly, U. S. Soccer) gets a cut, I had to set the price for a little ... no, a bit more than I bought it for.  That would make the price higher than the other prices I saw tickets being sold for on SeatGeek and StubHub, so I thought there was a good chance I would have to lower my price if I wanted to sell it.  However, USWNT had an option whereby I could automatically sell it back to them, no questions asked, at a price they set.  That would have helped make it easy to get rid of the ticket, and I had to get rid of this ticket because I knew I wasn't going to use it.  But I gave myself until Thursday night; if the ticket I had didn't sell at a price I eventually settled on, I would take U. S. Soccer up on their offer ... assuming they were still extending that offer by the time I settled for it.

Tuesday night it still didn't sell, so I bit the bullet and lowered the price so that, after fees and cuts, I would be losing money.  It still didn't sell as of Wednesday evening, so I lowered it so that the sell price was the lowest price I saw on the scalper sites, but only by a buck.  I was ready to give in, but on Thursday night I looked at the mini-site and, lo and behold, it did sell, thank goodness.

I will be honest: I paid about $73 total for the ticket.  U. S. Soccer told me it sold for about $56, which is strange, because I set the last price around $61.  Either they are telling me the amount of money I am going to get back and they already are accounting for their cut, or, and this is another thing at least USWNT does, I mistakenly opted for "dynamic pricing," whereby you let the mini-site set the price and allow them to raise or lower it depending on whether other tickets are selling or not selling.  I know I didn't set the price for $56, which, if I were more enterprising, I would follow up on.  But, for now, I note that their take-it-or-leave-it offer was for about $34.  If I had taken them up on it, I would have absorbed about a $39 loss.  Since I stuck to my guns (I guess), I took a $17 hit, but I got $22 more than I would have if I just gave in to USWNT.  So ... that's a ... good thing ... ?

Needed A Sleep Reset

Yesterday/Thursday was the rarest of days: A workday where I left early.  Beats the hell out of me, but I heard that there is a lot of work, there just wasn't enough people to do it, and so they just left it for today.  I was hoping beyond hope I had time to go to the bank, and I was able to get there and deposit checks before they closed.

And since I had a good chunk of my afternoon free, I went down to Young Joni for happy hour.  After that I gassed up, went to buy a liter of pop, then got home and felt tired enough to go to sleep at 9:30 ...

... and I woke up at 2:30.  And I am now wide awake.  Which means I will probably drop dead asleep later this morning at work, of which I should be inundated with stuff.  Well, at least I got five hours of sleep, right?

#MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA

Timberwolves lost.  And they went out like bitches, too.

I am not going to single players out, although some of them didn't show up this series.  We fans always act like General Managers, thinking we should get rid of this guy, and trade for that guy.  Wanting to control people is very Republican of us -- come to think of it, that's why fantasy sports is so popular now -- but we're just fucking fans who don't know jack shit how to run a team ... which is another aspect of Republicans.  That's our emotions exploding out of us without being hindered by thinking (which is yet another trait of Republicans).  Besides, this is a team sport, so this is a team effort, or lack thereof.  Everybody in that organization is to fucking blame, every single one.

But the reckless outpouring of anger and depression, especially right now, I understand.  Everything fucking sucks.  Our best chance to finally win a goddamn championship (and yeah, yeah, fuck the Frost transphobes) in decades and we let it go, again.  Being a Minnesota sports fan is to be pummeled by defeat on a permanent basis.  It is to know pain, to be pain, to become one with pain until you look in the mirror and only see pain staring back at you.

#MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Before I begin ... yes, I know that the Frost won their second straight PWHL Walter Cup championship Memorial Afternoon.  I still will not cover the team.  The name sucks, they should be named the Whitecaps, Natalie Darwitz was still done dirty, Kendall Coyne Schofield remains a backstabber, and there's still something skeevy about Britta Curl-Salemme, who apologized for past transphobic and pro-MAGAt comments but nonetheless found a home that appears to be a safe space for transphobes and MAGAts (and was instrumental in evening up the title series in Game 2 by scoring the Goal that sent it to Overtime and the Goal in OT to win it -- it's always the bad people doing good things, isn't it?).  I would bet good money they'll go see Trump.

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  They ran the table this screening Week, going 3-0, and are 5-0 to start the season.  They get the top spot, no doubt about it.  I thought about Positive Numbers for the Lynx, but I can't go that far, at least not this Week.  Why?  Well, for one, The New York Liberty is the other team that's still undefeated (even though that squad is 4-0 as of press time); if Minnesota was the last undefeated squad, I might do it.  Also, look at the margins of victory of these three Games this Week -- four over The Bastard Detroit Shock and hometown girl Paige Bueckers (and by the way, she is making her mark in the WNBA like I thought she would; she's going to be the next superstar in the league); six over The Bastard Orlando Miracle where they were down by 15 midway through the Fourth Quarter and then outscored Connecticut, 23-2 to snatch the Win; and five over a Seattle team that is better than its 3-2 record indicates.

I think playing all three of those Matches at Target Center helped a lot.  But they have to leave for a couple Games this Week, going to Phoenix Friday and San Francisco to play the expansion Golden State Valkyries Sunday night.  They return to home and host the Mercury Tuesday.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -3).  Draws in soccer where your club scored to tie it up kind of feel like Wins.  Draws in soccer where the other team scored to tie it up kind of feel like Losses.  So yes, even though they notched a Point at home versus Austin FC, this 1-all Tie feels like a defeat because of a swift and clinical counterattack by Los Verdes.  Those guys aren't pushovers -- they're around the playoff line right now -- but it's still disappointing that Michael Boxall's header off a Corner Kick didn't hold up.

Oh, I should add that they did have a thrilling victory over St. Louis City SC last Wednesday in the U. S. Open Cup.  They led by virtue of Kelvin Yeboah's Goal at the Half, lost the lead on two City Goals in the Second Half ten Minutes apart and then, while I was resigned to seeing them lose, former City player Anthony Markanich tallied the tying and then the Game-winning Goal (the latter on a header off a Corner) three Minutes apart to pull off the Win.  They host The Chicago Fire in the Quarterfinals in early July.  Moreover, they were given home-pitch advantage throughout the tournament.  So, if MNUFC continue to win all the way to the final, it'll be at Allianz Field.  For a fanbase starving for any title, thinking about that is interesting.  And if good luck -- or, as my soccer-loving friend insinuates, a set-up for the Loons to succeed -- is what's needed for some male team to win something around these parts, well, I'll give them a boost in the WMNSS because of it.

The Loons, who sit third in the West in league play, have a busy Week facing a pair of formidable opponents -- the Whitecaps in Vancouver tonight/Wednesday night, the Sounders in Seattle Sunday.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 4-3 screening Week featuring a relative brown-out on Offense, but the starting pitching continuing to hold up in a Doubleheader split at home vs. Cleveland, a series Win at home over Kansas City, and so far a split in Tampa against the Bay Rays in the Yankees' minor league home.  They still remain as ALWC1 which, considering where they were not too long ago, remains impressive.

This is crazy: After finishing up their series with the Bay Rays this/Wednesday afternoon, they have to travel allllllllllllllllll the way to the Pacific Northwest to play in Seattle for a three-Game series over the weekend.  They then go to the other Major League Baseball team playing in a Minor League Baseball park: The Athletics, in Sacramento, for three starting Monday.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  It's the weirdest thing, but before waking up yesterday/Tuesday morning, I had a dream where I was finally able to tune into the radio and hear that the Wolves won Game 4 and evened up The Western Conference Finals with The Bastard SuperSonics.  Those are the vivid dreams that take me a minute to realize they are just that, dreams.  And so I diligently avoided any scores or sports news because I wanted to wait till I heard the opening montage of "The Common Man Progrum" on KFAN at noon.  And when I heard the opening notes of "O-o-h Child" by The Five Stairsteps, I turned the stream off because I learned they lost, dropping them to the brink of elimination in the WCF for a second consecutive season.  Goddammit, why do I delude myself like this?

And I do not want to look on the bright side.  I heard one commenter on the 'Grum that the Woofie Dogs are a "trash team."  Look, I understand that reaching the WCF in back-to-back-Years is an accomplishment, and maybe when the hurt and frustration and ennui subside years from now, I can look back at this era of the franchise a bit more fondly.  But I and I think a lot of other sports fans don't accept conference finals appearances.  We want championships, and losing in the conference finals just means you're still a loser, you just lost later than other teams.  I'm for goddamn sure not accepting participation ribbons and atta-boys -- I want results.  So no, I understand this is a good team, but right I want to feel my feelings, and I am not going to disagree with the guy who said the Timberwolves are a trash team.  Because they're about to lose to a team that stole its team from Seattle.

I'll write more (and this squad's post mortem) in next Week's WMNSS.

Go Ahead And Take The Shower, Mr. Insect

On Sunday I was using my bathroom to shower when the thing I thought was a speck of dust started moving.  The damn thing was fighting for its life while all I wanted to do was take a damn shower.  So I stopped the water ... and Lord help me, I went downstairs to shower so this thing (which I think was a spider, I never did look closely) could have the bathtub all to itself.  Still can't believe I did such a thing.

Later that night I checked up on it.  It was all lifeless, like it drowned in the water anyway.  And then I checked the bathtub just now.  It's gone.  Its body couldn't have just decomposed and magically went down the drain, so like that damn ant, it's still alive -- and now knows it has the run of the upstairs bathroom.  Might as well give it the whole house, too, bleepin' Christ. ...

Just had a thought: I've been working so many long hours, including while my boss was away, that, assuming he came back to check my timesheets, he may see this as an opportunity to finally ... well, let's say confront me about my hours.

I've come to the conclusion that I have to stay to complete the work.  Measures supposedly were taken to lighten the workload, but with one important but small (when it comes to the workload) difference, it hasn't changed at all.  The main issue, to me, remains that there isn't a second person helping out day after day to take stuff off my plate.  Without that, everything falls on me to do.  That's why I stay late and accrue overtime.  If I don't and leave early, all the stuff I left will be waiting for me the next day, and you can add that to all the other stuff that comes in that next day.  The work accumulates, and if there's only one person doing it, well, that person is doing it.  So, if I don't stay late and do it all that day, I'll have to stay even later and do it all the next day.

I hope my boss understands that, but because my co-workers are apparently superhuman beings who get all their stuff done on time, I am becoming more and more confident he is going to come down on me -- either set new rules, set an ultimatum about ... something, or just yell at me like he has before.  And all because I'm just doing my job to the best of my ability, huh.

I'm Also A Sucker To The Whims Of The Department/Company

Maybe I shouldn't've slept in, because when I woke up, around 11:30, I looked at my phone and saw that my other boss texted me saying that the work is finishing up earlier than anticipated, and I don't have to come in.  Guess I can go back to my original plan of staying in my house all Memorial Day.

Goddammit, why didn't I think this couldn't happen?  Well, maybe last night I thought for, like, one second that they might cancel.  I have been asked to come in and then told not to before.  But was it a possibility in the forefront of my mind?  No, and now I feel stupid because I didn't think this could happen.  Because even though hermetically sealing myself at home was my original plan, once I decided to work, that became the plan, and now that plan is all fucked up, even though I can now go back to my original original plan, you know?

Shit.  I could've used the money.

I'm A Slave To The Dollar

So my other boss on Friday said that overtime was available tomorrow/Monday, aka Memorial Day.  And I don't know if this is federal law or company policy or something they just decided to do only for this occasion, but it's double time.

So yes, even though it's a holiday and I planned to stay at home without even opening my door, I cannot pass up working for twice the amount of money I usually get paid for.  The main thing I am doing for myself is waking up whenever and rolling into work whenever.  I will get my sleep in.  That means that I don't know for how long I plan on working.  It probably will be dictated on what work is there.  But I see myself not wanting to put in a whole eight hours because that is a bit too long to work on a holiday.  Maybe just less than six, so I don't have to punch out and then punch back in for a lunch break.

But I wonder: If there is enough work, could I stay more than eight hours?  If that's the case, once I surpass eight, that would be time-and-a-half on top of double time -- which would be triple time!  Man, should I go for it?  Nah, I probably would catch crap from my bosses.  But it's a cool thought for someone who's a slave to the dollar, isn't it?

What, You Don't Want To Post My Dirty Comments About You?

So, before OnlyFans, I was on this patron site called Patreon.  Have you heard of it?  Any creatives can put up a shingle and ask for monthly contributions in exchange for their creative work.  The more you pay a month, the more and bigger perks you get.  I don't know who or when or how I got hip to this, but I have several people I support, nominally, through Patreon.  A few of them are models whom publish hot naked photos of themselves.

One of them, who I will not name, is a prodigious publisher.  She may be the only travelling model who is using Patreon exclusively and dutifully.  She has regularly posted pictures of her modeling photos, most of them where she's stark naked.  Boy, she luuuuuuuuuuuvs to get naked.  So much so that I don't mind sending her perverted comments.

While her modeling photos are good, I love the times where she isn't putting up photos of herself in various states of undress and she's just blatantly fucking flashing her tits.  I fucking get all goo-goo eyed for that shit.  And I can't help but comment pervertedly.  Hey, she damn well knows what she's doing -- why can't I be honest about my reaction?  I'm not stalking her or anything!

So I go on the Patreon app yesterday/Saturday and see that she uploaded a flashing photo, one of her in her car, just pulling her top down enough to show us her right tit and her exceedingly hard nipple.  A feverish curtain fell in front of my eyes, and I just had to tell her that I felt the urge to, you know, touch myself.  And so I did, in no uncertain terms.  We're all adults here, right?

I checked her photo and the comments a bit later.  I don't see my comment.  And, this is not the first time.  Moreover, I have spoken to her about the idea of "pornography," and whether what she is doing falls under that category.  I thought we had a productive conversation about it ... but that didn't mean I was going to not tell her about any impure thoughts that are conjured up inside of me when I see future images of her in various states of undress.

But it looks as though she ain't into that at all.  So, what now?  On the one hand I'm sure she would rather me not comment like a pervert to her, but on the other hand, I know she wants my money.  Should I continue to leverage that bind she's in by continuing to act like a dirty old man?  Or do I pull back and hope my, uh, moderation will get me back into her good graces, even though that would make me a fake?  Finally, is there a line I could push past that would convince her to block me?

I have a lot of alcohol that I bought a couple weeks ago, but I still haven't even touched it.  I have been out on weekends (that should be a blog post coming soon), but I think that staying late for work so often has taken away time for me to juice the limes and lemons, and then allowing them to sit to break up and get better.  I might get into some other time, but they say that leaving lime and lemon juice to sit actually makes a cocktail taste better.  I believe that, but by the time the juice is ready, it's, like, 5 in the morning.  So I've been too busy to make drinks for myself at home.

I don't have all the time in the world to consume them all.  My parents will be gone around four months, and the first month is dwindling away quick.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Friday, May 23:

• We need to go back to Saturday, May 17 and Art-A-Whirl.  I finally bought a piece of art -- a small wooden, heart-shaped token with lines on it.  The person who owns the studio in which I bought her token said she designed it with help from some kids in the hospital she works at.  Yes, it's a buck, but I couldn't afford nearly any of the rest of the pieces being sold over the weekend, and I want  feel as though I "participated," you know what I mean?  She also was selling drinks, so I bought this root beer called XXX.  And she was selling it for cheap as well.  The studio owner was really nice.  She even gave me her card that had her contact information.  I e-mailed her, but I don't know if she has e-mailed me back.  Shame.  The token and the root beer cost me only: $3.
• After that I went out to one of the many food trucks surrounding Art-A-Whirl.  I didn't catch this food truck, but I bought elote there.  With tip it set me back: $8.
• Back to Thursday the 1st ... my parents and I were going to have lunch with my niece/their granddaughter.  I bought gift cards for my niece's birthday -- three in total, one I, Mother and Father could each giver her.  Mother thought that wasn't enough, so she suggested we each give her $50 on top of that.  OK, I said, but I thought a clean $50 bill would be better than the $20's and $10 that I had.  She had time to go to the bank, so I gave her money which she took to the bank and converted to one $50 bill, which I then tucked into the pouch along with a gift card that I gave my niece at lunch.  Total, of course: $50.
• We now go allllllllll the way back to Wednesday, April 16 -- I don't know how my day broke down, but I think I first went to Caffetto to work on things.  I bought a Lucky cola, and then I bought a glass bottle of Martinelli's apple juice.  With tip (I think just for the Lucky) I spent: $7.09.
• I think I then went to a house party where I got double-teamed by *****y and *****y.  *****y started kicking my dick through my underwear, then shoved her left tit into my mouth so hard and so long that I was starting to choke.  I wanted to bite her boob hard -- partly to stop her from suffocating me, partly because I wanted to!  While all that was happening, *****y finally pulled down my underwear to finally start jerking me off.  I keep replaying that moment in my head.  It's that image that makes me think that at least *****y was into giving me an HJ, and I find that totally sexy.  Funny enough, by the way, I don't think *****y ever touched my cock, and in fact, in all the times I have gotten naked with her, I don't know if she ever has masturbated me.  Huh.  I could be wrong about this, but I think I paid both the amount of: $240.
• Finally, back on April Fools' Day, I went to the University of Minnesota to do an experiment for the first time in years.  It was a two-part research study.  First, there was a survey asking me the factors which would lead me to go to the post office to return a damaged product.  Then, I was given an (intentionally) broken set of headphones and an envelope with free postage.  It was up to me to go to the post office and send it back.  I guess the researchers were wondering whether I would spend the time and expend the energy to do all that.  I did, the next day.  However, I had the next day off from work.  I had one week to send it back to the researchers.  If I didn't have a day off (including Saturday) to run to the USPS, I wouldn't have sent it back at all.  For all that, I received an Infusion of (OK, I was paid): $20.

Good through May 23.

So I Do I Have Health Insurance I Need To Pay Or Not?

OK, so while I was at work I get a personal e-mail on my work e-mail address.  It tells me that I have an outstanding claim, one that my insurance claim said they have provisionally paid, but I need to upload documents or else I'll have to pay it back.

Damn, this came out of nowhere.  Moreover, I am surprised I'm getting this on my work e-mail -- so much so that I flagged as spam, but the IT department at work said this was legit.  So I took a few minutes to go back onto the insurance website (to the point where I had to change my password because I forgot it -- you know how that goes, right?) and, wouldn't you know it, there was a claim that the company is questioning.  I don't even know what kind of documentation they would need.  I feel stuck, and I'm scared that if I don't respond to them soon, I might be told to pay them back.  And it's a chunk of change I can't necessarily just part with without wondering how I "lost" the money.

So I decided I would look at this again at home.  I might have the documentation on my personal computer, and if not, I would have the time to research exactly what is going on here.  So I get back onto the website ... but the claim I was looking for isn't there.  Moreover, the website looked different than the one I went onto at work.  I wasn't ... phished, was I?  My IT department said this is legit, so is there some other explanation?  I need to reach out to the insurance company, but this is kind of weird, man.

Stuff I Donated To Goodwill Yesterday/Wednesday

• Black bedsheet, has a huge tear in it after I scraped my foot against it.  Either the skin on my feet are really dry and cracked, or Target makes crappy bedsheets.
• Beige bedsheet, has a huge tear in it after I scraped my foot against it.  Either the skin on my feet are really dry and cracked, or Target makes crappy bedsheets.
• Pair of gray socks, both of which has holes in them that are so big I could not overlook them bothering me.  (Weird thing is, neither sock has that hole on the heel, where I usually create holes in my socks.  One of them is at the toe, and the other one, surprisingly, is up above the ankle.  That hole probably got created while it was in the dryer.)
• Yellow hoodie from Abercrombie & Fitch (given to me as a gift from either my sister or my family including my sister) ... it has two gray ... uh, guides running parallel to both sides of the zipper, and the one running opposite that zipper tore and is now hanging loose.  Guess I could tear the whole thing off, but I am not into tearing parts of clothing off.
• Long underwear bottom, from ClimateSmart, which I bought through Amazon, I'm sure.  It has a black waistband and then has thin white and gray horizontal lines.  Its elastic waistband is no longer elastic.
• Pajama bottoms from Croft & Barrow (the name tag reads "Croft&Barrow," for some reason) that I'm sure my parents bought for me.  Pattern of blue and black squares, with white hashes (that are diagonal) making more squares on top of those blue and black squares.  Its elastic waistband is no longer elastic.
• Christmas-themed pajama bottoms from Lauren Conrad, which I'm sure was a Christmas gift from my family.  One end of the damned red drawstring is lodged inside the waistband (this probably happened while, well, it was drying).  I have tried pulling out the whole drawstring because I have this tool that helps me re-string drawstrings, but that caught end isn't coming out.  I have scrunched up the waistband and thus the pajama bottoms, and I still can't dislodge it.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (New Season!!).  Oftentimes over the past 15 Years or so, it has been the Lynx that has redeemed local sports.  And, although it's an extremely small sample size, they appear to be in the same form they were when they reached the WNBA Finals (and got fucked by everybody just so The New York Liberty could win their first title in franchise history), starting the season 2-0 with easy victories over The Bastard Detroit Shock (and hometown legend Paige Bueckers) in Dallas and at Los Angeles.  And they're doing it with Kayla McBride coming in late and Dorka Juhasz sitting out the season after playing internationally.

Bueckers comes home tonight/Wednesday night as the Wings are the opponent for the Lynx's home opener.  It's the start of a three-Game homestand that comprises the whole screening Week; Connecticut plays here Friday, Seattle Tuesday.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -1).  All good things must come to an end.  The Bastard Seattle Pilots ended the Twins' winning streak by avoiding a sweep Sunday in Milwaukee, 5-2.  Still, Minnesota managed to reach 13 Wins in a row, going 4-1 for the Week including sweeping a three-Game series in Baltimore (the first two in a Doubleheader necessitated by a rainout) that ultimately cost Brandon Hyde his job as the Orioles' Manager.  And, they set a franchise record for consecutive shutout Innings with 34.

That hot streak has paid some dividends, even though it wasn't the cure-all we all want it to be.  As of press time, believe it or not, if the season ended today, they would not only be in the playoffs, but host the Wild Card Series versus Cleveland.  But while they have vaulted from fourth place in the A. L. Central to second, they are five Games behind Detroit, who has The Best Record In The Majors.  I wonder if the Division is already lost.

They already should have started a three-Game series at home against the Guardians, but it's been raining steadily, and then biblically, Monday and last/Tuesday night.  They got through one, maybe two Innings on Monday, and they haven't been on the field since.  We are supposed to have scattered showers today/Wednesday, but Cleveland only has to travel to Detroit for their next series, so it's possible they can squeeze in two Games.  The Twins' next series is against Kansas City, and they'll be here over the weekend.  After that, they will travel to the Yankees' minor league complex and play "at" The Tampa Bay Rays for a three-Game set beginning Monday.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: 0).  Major League Soccer, if I am correct, hadn't had midweek Games since the start of the season until this screening Week.  Last Wednesday was the Loons' first midweek Match since they started the season at The Los Angeles Galaxy.  They lost that Game ... and they lost Wednesday's Match, at Houston, 2-0.  Eric Ramsay decided to heavily rotate for this tilt vs. the Dynamo; I saw only two guys, Will Trapp and Jefferson Diaz, who I believe regularly start for MNUFC starting this contest.  Ramsay eventually exhausted all of his subs; he used four around the 65th Minute and put in his regulars, but that was when Houston was up 1-0 (Pablo Ortiz scored a Minute into First Half Stoppage Time), and they added a second Goal in the 77th.

Still, it's only the third Loss United FC has suffered in all competitions in 2025.  And, they came back from that sound defeat to crush St. Louis at Allianz Saturday, 3-0.  City is a bad side, but it is uncommon for me to see this club thoroughly dominate like they did.  It's a long season, but I've gotta say, this is a good team.

The Loons play St. Louis twice in a span of five Days; tonight/Wednesday night, they (or some other players who may not have played here on Saturday) play again at Midway, this time in U. S. Open Cup play.  They then return to league action as they host Austin Saturday night.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  OK, so I should look on the bright side and note that they crushed The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors in five Games, especially considering that many pundits (including yours truly) thought they would win.  Of course, no one could foresee Stephen Curry being injured for the series after the First Quarter of Game 1 and change, but still, this is now back-to-back Western Conference Finals appearances for The Minnesota Timberwolves, the first time The Minnesota Timberwolves have ever done that.

And hey, it is just Game 1.  They dropped it like it was hot last/Tuesday night vs. The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, but they looked awful against the Warriors in Game 1 and they came back to rip off four in a row to take the last series, so why can't they do it again?  Seriously, the Wolves were at this stage last Year and lost, and there is credence to the theory that you have to walk before you can run.  Has OKC done that yet?  No.

Ah, fuck it, they're going to get swept.  They had a four-Point lead going into Halftime and then got blown out in the Second Half, 70-40.  I had plans to see them for Game 4 Memorial Night at that brewery I went to for the previous series, but only if they were up at least two Games to one.  That ain't happening.  Man, to lose to a city that stole its team from the good people of Seattle. ...

#-Infinity: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  Welp, at least they won the final series of the season, at Michigan St. (they dropped the season finale Saturday, 11-10).  In Ty McDevitt's first Year as Head Coach, the U. finished 24-28 overall and a woeful 10-20 in the Big Ten.  As I always say, a HC deserves a mulligan for his or her first season.  But this program has been in the doldrums since the pandemic, and while it sometimes seems like the pandemic was yesterday, it was five Years ago.  You're in the B1G -- you've got enough money to turn things around.

It's Getting Difficult To Donate Stuff

So I have another round of clothes (and, now, two bedsheets) I want to recycle.  I have heard that Goodwill probably won't take the stuff I want to donate, so I was looking around if there are places that take, uh, less-than-usable stuff.

Looking around the Internet, I see this website where they just place a huge bin in some parking lot somewhere, and you can just toss in your clothes (your shoes too) and it's supposed to go to a good place, or they can be used or sold for something good, or something like that.  That's when I vaguely remembered seeing a bin or two close to home.  Shoot, why don't I just throw this stuff in there?  Easy!

So on Sunday I went to my storage unit to grab all my old clothes and bedsheet -- if I kept them here, my parents probably would throw them away, and that doesn't sit right with me -- to take the places I knew these bins were.  Well, one place is close to the mall nearby, but damned if a travelling carnival set up shop there.  So many cars, and so I had no time to park for the two minutes I thought I needed to toss in all my stuff into the bin, so that was a no-go.  I drove home past my high school, where I thought another bin was, but I didn't see one.  I swear one was there. ...

I tried again yesterday/Monday, and this time I had my second, other bedsheet (which I washed Sunday night) to take to donate with my other stuff.  The carnival closed up shop (although it didn't leave town; I think it's setting up again for the long holiday weekend), so I had all this space to just walk up with my bag and throw it in the bins, of which I noticed there were three.

But dammit again; the bins were completely full!  I saw huge bags filled presumably with clothes that overwhelmed the bins.  The chute doors were wedged open because they were all stuffed with bags.  I literally had no space to shove my stuff in anywhere.  It would fall to the ground, and that's considered dumping; if a police car drove by as I walked away from the mess I made, I would be cited.  So I couldn't leave my stuff there.

Now I don't know what to do.  I guess my plan is to just go to the Goodwill tomorrow/Wednesday on my way to the MNUFC Match and have them take my stuff, even though they probably don't want it.  But hell, I don't want it, either, not anymore.  In fact, looking at the grand scheme of things, it appears as though a lot of people don't want a lot of their stuff.  But what happens if the people who say they'll take the stuff other people don't want ... well, basically don't take that stuff?  Yeah, I'm getting the feeling the organization that set up these bins isn't well run.  But that's just me.

I Miss Soccer Goals

So a pretty important Liga MX playoff Semifinal was on last/Sunday night between two of the big clubs in that league, Club America and Cruz Azul.  I came home in time to catch most of the Second Half.  When I tuned in, Cruz Azul was up 1-0.  That's important because, for this league at this stage of their postseason, they have the two squads play a home-and-home.  The most Goals scored in aggregate wins the series.  (When I started watching, that 1-0 scoreline was also the aggregate score; the two XI's finished scoreless in their first Match mid-week.)  If the two teams score the same number of Goals, the team that finished higher in the regular season (who is always the team that hosts the second Game of this two-Leg series) advances.

Hell of a Match, by the way.  Cruz Azul scores again to go up, on the road, 2-0 and 2-0 on aggregate.  But America was awarded a Penalty Kick, which they slotted.  Then, a header to a header went top shelf.  Club America tied it, but they went ahead because they got more Points than sworn rival Cruz Azul during the regular season.  That's how the Match ended, and that is how America advanced to the two-legged Final this Week against Toluca.

Oh, did I mention that I missed that Game-tying/series-winning Goal?  I like soccer, I really do.  If I didn't, I wouldn't be a season-ticketholder for MNUFC.  Hell, yesterday/Sunday afternoon I went to see a Match with the Loons' reserve squad, MNUFC2, for the first time ever.  They lost, but the 2's play about ten minutes north of me, and everything is obviously cheaper because this is minor league soccer, so I should go to a few Games over the summer.  Anyway, I like it.  But sometimes, the sport gets a little, you know, boring.

I should blog post at some point about me being addicted to social media and my phone.  Anyway, during a slow spot in the Match, I naturally picked up my cell and went through my Facebook.  I saw that a Playboy Playmate I am Facebook friends with put up a video of her son graduating from college.  I then wanted to know what last name he took.  He has the same last name as his mother, which is the name she used when she posed, which (and I hope my logic is sound here) she never married the person with whom she has her child, and in fact neither she nor the son have much contact with the son's biological father.  I find that intently interesting, and no, I am under no illusions I will ever meet her.

So while I was thinking about all that, America scored that Match-tying/series-winning Goal.  It is not the first time I was looking at my phone when I missed a Goal, let alone an important one such as that.  But I hate it.  And I keep telling myself I will watch a Match straight through, without distracting myself, and I keep failing.  But dammit, I will not look at my cell for both Legs of the Final (if Thursday's First Leg is not broadcast on Univision, then definitely Sunday night's Second Leg).  If I hate missing soccer Goals, I have to stop doing the things that make me miss soccer Goals, you know?

Drank Three Ciders

Yep, drank three ciders yesterday/Saturday -- one from Sociable, one from Wild State, and Loon Juice.  I don't know if I've said this here on WAF, but I like ciders a hell of a lot more than beers.  Guess that makes me a lightweight or a pussy or not a man.  But I prefer to have some sweetness with my alcohol.  I like sweetness with most things.

That's all I've got to say.

Thanks For The Help, But ...

I was stuck in The Third Department since Wednesday.  But a funny thing happened Thursday and Friday: My co-worker, who was in The Fourth Department, asked if she could help.  I gladly took her up on her offer.  And she did very well, and I thanked her for helping me, because I am glad she took some of my work, and therefore I am genuinely thankful.

But her asking if I need help is is a bad thing.  Now, the reason it's a bad thing is not about alleviating the stress of my workload, even though it definitely did.  No, the reason this is a bad thing is because this makes me look bad.  We both take turns being the only person working The Fourth Department.  So, then, how is it that I routinely slog through getting the work done while she appears to have gone through it so fast that she is doing some of my work?  Is she cutting corners?  Is she not communicating with clients, or not documenting the correspondence with them?  (E-mails, I have learned, is time-consuming to make and to send.)

Or, is she able to get through the work fast and, more important, I get through the work slow?  Don't tell her, but I am secretly jealous, possibly to the point of annoyance, that it looks as though she is able to easily do the job while I struggle.  Now, I want to do the work the way I do it, and I will not change unless ordered to (and even then I may not).  But doing things my way illustrates a difference in approach to working The Fourth Department that is clearly laid out when it comes to our timesheets, specifically when each of us leave for the day.  I have put in ten hours per day in The Fourth Department with some regularity.  Not only has my co-worker not done so regularly, she may be getting out at eight hours, which I find fucking impossible to do.  And I know my boss has noticed that difference between the two of us.

So if she continues to ask, from her place in The Fourth Department, if I need help in The Third Department, that will remind me how quickly she gets done compared to me.  I can't help but think that, and it's a thought I would rather not have, especially when in the middle of doing the work that evidently takes me hours to do when she can do it in, like, seconds.  I wonder if I will pay for this contrast with my job.

Belt Broke

It's been really wearing for some time.  Naturally, I use only one notch.  It's not as if the size of my belly fluctuates wildly, even though I often think it does.  But because it does, I've been really using up that notch.  The area around that hole has gotten really, really torn up.

Still, I didn't think anything drastic would happen like it did at work yesterday/Friday.  I was using the bathroom on my lunch break, I was undoing my belt, and as I was pulling the end of the belt away from the, er, notching thingy, the end tore off.  I was holding the end of it in my hands.  Damn.

I made it through the end of the day, which included eating and drinking at Sociable and walking to Art-A-Whirl, both while in a steady downpour.  I just kept wearing the part of the belt that still was in the loops.  It sure as heck wasn't holding anything up.  Moreover, I'm wearing khakis whose button popped off because I'm so fat.  But the pants held up without any assistance.  I am very lucky.  But now I need to ... well, first I need to find new pants that have a button, but then I need to buy a new belt.  But where can I buy one that won't break off like this one does?  Belts are meant to be cinched, and cinching creates tears in the belt.  At some point it's going to tear, won't it?  Well, then again, I had this belt for barely two years, I think.  I need to find one that will last at least a little bit longer.

The Last Of The Leftovers

Last/Thursday night, after I came home from yet another late night at work, I ate the last three pieces of Kentucky Fried Chicken my parents bought more than two weeks ago.  (I'm alive and I think I'm not sick, by the way.)  With that, I think I have gone through all the leftovers my folks left for me in the refrigerator before they left.  My biggest priorities, obviously, were the items most perishable, so I took care of the milk, then the banana (the last of which I threw into a smoothie), then the rice, and finally the lettuce (which was more than I thought it would be; I had a salad two separate days).  There was less-perishable stuff, too, vegetables and the like, and I was able to find the time and the stomach to eat them as well.

If my parents found out it took about ten days to go through it all, they would probably be disappointed in me, so don't tell them.  See, I'm glad I got through them that quickly.  Now, there is food in the freezer, but I can take them, thaw them in the fridge, and eat them at my leisure.  Pressure to eat them before they spoil is, of course, non-existent (even though, to be completely transparent, there was a piece of bread I didn't get around to; I was going to eat it, but I saw spots of mold on it, and I didn't want to risk just throwing away the moldy parts, so I chucked it all, but don't worry, it was just a small-ish end piece).  The only pressure, actually, is to eat it all.  Mother went crazy and stored all these pastries in the freezer.  There are literally dozens of them.  She bagged them into groups of five thinking I would take out a bag Sunday, then take one pastry with me each day I go to work.  What she doesn't know is that I will instead eat two, maybe three of them at a time as dinner on days I don't want to spend cash.  Hey, it's my decision and they can't stop me!