Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: April 2025

Since I had this calendar in my drawer for the whole month, and now that my parents are away, I thought I would hang it back up on my wall, but put it up for April.  I want to look at it in passing at least for several days just to take in the (I think this is the minimum) ten babes.  And you know, I think I really, really like this month.  These are gorgeous waitresses gorgeously shot.  I made the right decision hanging this up for last month.

With respect to the others, I am singling out six of the ten.  April '25 is that strong.  And I have two of my principles clashing with each other, meaning that I have a choice to make.  But I will work my way up to that decision.

In sixth place is Brianna, of Clearwater, Fla.  She has long blonde hair with dark roots, and she is wearing a light blue two-piece.  The bikini bottom is tied together, and there apparently is a lot of string because the tied loops are frickin' huge.  She looks like she's posed between two narrow tree trunks that are suspiciously close together, she is turned to her side, and her right hand is touching the tree trunk to the right.  The more I look at the details of the photograph, the more I hate it.  But she is cute, and she's got a beaming smile that makes up for it.

In fifth place is Iliana, hailing from North Tampa, Fla.  Very long (it goes down to belly button level), dark brown and wavy hair, she's sporting a very light pink two-piece bikini.  I notice that she's not smiling so much as she's pouting.  I also notice that she's acting as if she's clutching the bottom of her bikini bottom, but I don't think she's grabbed any fabric.  It almost looks as if she's balling up her fists, which is weird to see in a Hooters calendar photo.  But she is posing direct to the camera, and she is showing off her obviously fake titties.  I like it.

In fourth place is The Main Girl, Giselle, out of Mesa, Ariz.  Long blonde hair with dark roots, a two-piece that's white and bordered in light purple.  She is posed on her side, and she's balancing her head on her left hand, with her left elbow on a Hooters beach towel.  She has her right hand laying in front of her, and that shows the problem with a model posed on her side -- a lot of her body can get obscured because it is being twisted up to make her look good horizontally.  But she is gorgeous, particularly because she has pale, porcelain skin.  Maybe it's how I feel right now, but I love that.

In third place is Taylor, of Westminster, Colo.  She's sporting a red two-piece bikini, but the most striking thing about her is that she's a redhead.  I get totally hard for redheads, and she has the pale and porcelain skin to match.  That makes her, like, a hardcore redhead.

So now I come to my clashing principles.  In second place is Kaylee, hailing from the Kansas City Speedway.  Brunette hair that reaches to the bottom of her breasts, she's wearing a very light blue two-piece.  She's posed in profile ... but that means we get to check out her bikini bottom, and she's showing some ass, like, a good half of her juicy ass.  Her smile is just the cherry on top.

Now I've said before that if there is a server in a month showing ass, she automatically gets the top spot.  Unfortunately, I decided to break this principle because Allie, out of Lone Tree, Colo. is in this month.  She's got dark blonde hair, she has piercing blue eyes, and she is sporting a red two-piece bikini, even though her top looks more like a sports bra than anything.  I may have never said this principle out loud, but I have vacationed in Denver, gone out to eat at the Lone Tree Hooters, and had a previous calendar signed by Allie of Lone Tree.  And I automatically put up top anyone who has signed my calendar, this year or previous ones.  (This will mean that any Hooters woman from The Mall Of America will get the top spot -- and, foreshadowing here, that will happen sooner than you think.)  Yes, declaring this is a way of acknowledging a "relationship" to that server.  Do I really think Allie from Lone Tree remembers me?  Hell no.  But I remember her, and that's all that matters.  Oh, and she's fucking hot, too.

So congratulations to Allie, who has been in Hooters calendars for years now and is still getting it done.  Congrats also go out to the other five.  As soon as I can, I will masturbate to all of you!!!

I made plans to have a smoothie after work tonight.  But things got so pear-shaped there that, after finishing watching The Amazing Race, and talking to Mother, I threw all the ingredients into the blender -- milk, greek yogurt, cheap knockoff Maraschino cherries, thawed-out frozen fruit and ice -- and started drinking ... and forgot about the banana I planned on putting into the smoothie as well.  I make enough to get about four or five glasses full, and I drank about half of the blender before I realized my oversight.  So I quickly cut up the banana into the other half of the blender, which I plan on drinking Friday.

But I'm still bitter I forgot to put the banana in at the outset.  Damn work -- it's screwing everything up, and yet I can't help but keep working, possibly to the point of jeopardizing keeping my job.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0).  The good news: They bounced The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers in five Games!  In retrospect, I don't know why I was so down on them.  Those guys had LeBron and Luka and, maybe, Austin Reaves.  The Timberwolves were way deeper than Los Angeles; that was apparent before the series even started.  Not only did they win, they trounced the hell out of them.  So why did I fall into the trap that the Wolves were going to utterly lose?  Well, everyone else fell into that same trap, too, so I'm not the only fool.

Now, the bad news: Last/Tuesday night the T-Wolves began their Western Conference Semifinal series at Target Center vs. The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors, and they lost, 99-88.  Worse than that, Golden State won going away without the services of Stephen Curry, who left midway through Game 1 because of a hamstring.  If the Woofie Dogs can lose to the Warriors this badly without Curry, you can imagine they could get their brains kicked in with Curry playing the entire Game.

What softens the bad news: Every single team in the four series this Round that had home-court advantage to start (the others being The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, Cleveland and Boston) lost it in Game 1.  (Even worse for the Cavaliers, last/Tuesday night they lost Game 2 at home to Indiana, too.)  There have already been four Games in these NBA Playoffs where the winning side came back from a deficit of at least 20 Points, an all-time record.  So yes, in theory, Minnesota certainly can come back to win this series.  The Warriors have looked vulnerable often in their First Round Win over The Bastard San Diego Rockets.  With that being said: This is a Minnesota sports team, so it might fucking be over already.

Oh, by the way, there is a local craft brewery called Falling Knife that became immensely popular for bringing in a huge outdoor TV that fans could watch on their premises.  I really thought I was going to go there last/Tuesday night for their Game-watching party.  I eventually decided against it: I really wanted to see the season finale of Night Court, which ended about 30 minutes before the start of the Game; I've never been there before so I was afraid I was going to miss the start of the Game if I got lost; and seeing that I would just get there before tip-off at the earliest, I don't know if I would have been able to find a good spot to sit (or, actually, stand; I saw an Instagram reel where every fan brought their own lawn chair), and that doesn't even take into account the beer and possibly food I wanted to have and the long lines that would make me miss the start of the Game.  Also, there was mail that came in for which I need to talk to Mother about.  Well, seeing as they lost, I'm sure glad I skipped that!

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -4).  Now that's a way to bounce back from a humbling defeat at home to a very strong Vancouver Whitecaps squad: By going to Austin and crushing Austin FC, 3-0.  Congratulations go out to Anthony Markanich, who scored his first Goal as a Loon (I think?).  They may be seven Points behind the 'Caps in the West, but they are in second place in the Conference, and they have lost only twice so far in 2025.

Tonight/Wednesday night they have a U. S. Open Cup Match at lower-Division Louisville City FC.  MNUFC might be rotating, because they have most likely The Biggest Game In Franchise History coming to Allianz Field Saturday: Lionel Messi and Inter Miami come to The Nest, the former probably for the first, last, and only time in not just his career but his life.  I've just checked SeatGeek and StubHub.  There is one ticket on the former selling for $203.  After that, you're looking at $250, $260.  I'm so glad I'm a season ticket holder!

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 3-3 screening Week.  Started off losing the last two contests of a four-Game series in Cleveland; they would win only the opening Game of that series, which was back on Monday, April 28.  They then dropped the first Game of a weekend trio at Fenway versus The Boston Red Sox (extending their losing streak to four) before taking a pair of one-Run decisions to win the series.  And they finished the Week routing The Bastard St. Louis Browns at Target Field, 9-1, giving the Twins a current three-Game winning streak.

They are playing better as of late, but they're 6 1/2 Games behind Detroit in the Division.  The Tigers, by the way, boast the best record in The American League.  After finishing up with the Orioles, they host The Bastard New York Giants for a three-Game series, then travel to Baltimore for three beginning on Tuesday.

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5).  On Wednesday they routed St. Thomas in St. Paul, 11-0.  But then they went to Lincoln and dropped two-of-three to Nebraska, and in their sole Win of the weekend, they had to go to ten Innings before finally besting the Cornhuskers, 6-4.  This weekend they finish up their tilts at Siebert Field with a three-Game set versus Maryland.

#-Infinity (tie): Gopher softball and Wild (Last Week, respectively: -1 and -3).  The Goofer softballers finished their year at home vs. Michigan.  And they won the Friday Game -- shut the Wolverines out, in fact, 4-0, which extended their winning streak to six Games.  But they got mercy-ruled by Michigan on Saturday, 8-0 in five Innings, then got blanked again on the season-capper Sunday, 3-0.  I don't have much more to say about this program right now beyond stating that they finished 2025 5-17 in the Big Ten and 20-30 overall.

Now to the Mild ... I guess they fought valiantly before losing to Team Third Base, The (Las) Vegas Golden Knights in six Games.  But there's a Groundhog Day-quality to seeing this fanbase being as optimistic about this franchise's future when their track record is the very definition of meh.  I heard this stat on KFAN: This is the first organization in The Four Major North American Sports to reach its sport's postseason at least eight out of the previous ten seasons and go out in the First Round in every single postseason.

Everybody is now ready to break free from the yokes of the Zach Parise and Ryan Suter buyouts.  The Mild took a dead cap hit of $14.7 million each of the past two Years, but that will go down to around $1.7 million for 2025-6 before being gone for good.  I guess that's great, but they're still a mediocre team, and I don't know if getting to add $13 million more in salary is a significant upgrade -- not if the first task in the to-do list is locking up Kirill Kaprizov to a long-term contract.  Kaprizov said in his season-ending news conference that he's not worried about getting a contract he thinks he deserves, so that should be good news.  What might be next up is what to do with Marco Rossi.  His move down the lines makes him look like a viable trade piece.  (Just between you and me, I think he has never fully recovered from long COVID.  Trade him to an organization that doesn't believe in that.)

But hey, sign so people and develop your youth, and you might have a viable club one day!  Seriously, though, I still think the fanbase's unwarranted hype over the Mild is due to the fact that they're scared that if they don't support the Wild, they'll get stolen from us like the North Stars were.  And to that I think the thing we need to do is take back the North Stars name, logo, colors and history.  That is when we'll actually get our balls back.  Fucking make it happen, Craig Leipold!

You Know, i Wonder If I'll Just Get Fired One Day

So yesterday/Monday I got to work late because I took my parents to the airport.  Since I got to work two hours late, I had to stay two hours later than I would ... if it were an eight-hour day, which it most certainly is not these days.  I stayed pretty late, but considering how late I started, my overtime was pretty modest compared to the ten-hour-plus days I've been hauling in in weeks past.

I thought the new person was supposed to start today, but I didn't see her/him at where her/his desk would be.  I surmise that she/he is back in human resources getting onboarded, and she/he will be there today/Tuesday or, at the very latest, tomorrow/Wednesday.  Or, this person just flaked and it'll still be the four of us doing everything.

But if there is a new person ... I apologize if I've blog posted about this before, but once this new person is fully trained ... why in the hell couldn't I be fired?  I've been pulling OT money since the New Year, so to a higher-up's eyes I'm just a money drain.  If someone can work faster (and thus cheaper), they obviously would go to that person and cut me loose the first chance they get.  And I still go back to my former co-worker who immediately and mysteriously got let go around summertime.  Why was he let go?  Was it a personality issue?  If not, then it was a work-related issue.  Maybe he wasn't doing his job.  Or ... he was seen as too slow and just racking up the money, thus becoming, to their eyes, a "liability."  I could be wrong about his departure, but unless and until someone tells me the real reason he was let go, I will assume the worst, which was he was fired because the company didn't want to pay him anymore.

Naturally, if the company didn't want to pay him anymore, and I have to stay late and get overtime in order to get my work done, thus getting paid more than others ... and if there are enough people there for the work to get done in some sort of timely manner ... why wouldn't they let me go?

That thought just came across my mind while I was working.  That's all.

Won't Miss/Will Miss/Both

Things I won't miss about my parents:

• Having them tool around the house when I want to tool around the house, usually naked;
• Being asked by them for things, in particular the way Mother asks for me: "Nee hauw, nee hauw!" (that stands for "needs help," if you couldn't decipher that);
• Being force-fed so much food that I have ballooned in weight (even though I probably will balloon in weight if I find food for myself; this is more a complaint that I don't want food forced in me)
• Being force-fed that I have never tried, or even am able to describe;
• The questions about where I'm going, why are you doing this or that, etc.;
• Mother criticizing me -- I haven't really understood how much that has affected my life;

Things I will miss about my parents:

• If something in the house breaks, Father usually can fix it;
• I'll have to do all the chores around the house;
• I now have to worry about the house -- it'll be empty now for a part of the day;
• I now have to worry about my parents' real estate ventures;
• I have to open up all the mail and, if necessary, act on them;
• I need to look at my parents' e-mail in case there's something they will miss now that they're globetrotting again;
• How it'll get too quiet around the house;
• I'll be scared if they get hurt while they're travelling;

Another thing I won't and will miss about my parents that I have to worry about as soon as they leave:

• All the food that they have left me.  I need to quickly triage the foods I need to eat immediately and what can wait.  It looks as though I have to worry about the bananas and the lettuce first, followed by the leftover rice and the egg.  But it'll take weeks to get through everything they have left for me in the fridge that is in danger of spoiling.  And that's not even taking into account all the stuff in the freezer.  Hey, I love them, and I appreciate them leaving all this food for me.  It'll save me money, no doubt.  But I will be spending money today/Monday and tomorrow/Tuesday because the former is Cinco de Mayo and the latter is Game 1 of the Timberwolves in The Western Conference Semifinals vs. The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors.  A-wooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry To Miss You Again, Mr. Cave

Several years ago I signed up for The Red Hand Files, a Q&A mailing list from musician Nick Cave.  The deal is you can ask him anything and, if he wants to answer, he will e-mail everyone on the list his response.  I don't know how I got wind of it and how I decided to sign up, but I'm glad I did.  It is one of the few e-mails I actually read.  His answers have always been profound and sometimes humorous.

I cannot say I'm a huge fan of his music.  When I worked at the radio station, I picked up a free copy of The Boatman's Call, his 1997 album with his longtime band, The Bad Seeds, laying on a table in the break room.  I heard of the guy, but never his work, but I like the album a lot.  I also ushered his show in downtown Minneapolis; his closing song at his concert, "Saint Huck," is a banger.

My appeal for his work hasn't really grown beyond that.  So, I guess I'm more of a fan of his advice column, so to speak, than his music.  But, because of that, I've wanted to go to his concerts, but I continue to miss him.  His previous tour, I want to say, was just after the pandemic, and either I got the heebie-jeebies or I just forgot his was coming over, I missed his show then.  He's back now.  I mean, like, tonight.  But tonight is also the last night my parents are here, and I don't think it's, well, right that I just go out the last night before I leave.

I have one exception, possibly.  We're eating dinner at senior's time, so like, 4.  I am going to check prices on scalper sites.  I checked last night, and there were a couple that was well below face value.  If they are still around by the time I check after I eat ... maybe I'll go.  But it's a late show, and it's a Sunday, and hey, my parents are home, plus I've been able to stay inside all day even though it's a glorious day outside, and I spent $100 to eat at the speakeasy on Friday, so maybe I won't go anyway.  But maybe I will.  Shit, I don't know myself.  Sorry, Mr. Cave.

The Grueling Money Train Is Coming To An End

OK, so the big news coming out of work is that, against all odds (it wasn't looking good for a while), my boss was able to find and hire another person, a fourth person, to work the same position as me and the two others.  And this person starts tomorrow/Monday.

I don't exactly know how this is all going to shake out.  But this will be yet another huge adjustment period, and with all change, I hate it at first, and then I'll get used to it, and then, if I don't necessarily say I like it, I am certain I will forget why and how I hated it.  Don't know how long that process will last, but it always happens.

Right now, I am torn.  As I hugged the co-worker who decided to retire from The Third Department over the holidays before she left work for good, I told her that I don't know how I'm going to do this job.  I still don't.  Not only her expertise but her availability to sop up the vast majority of tasks at that position are sorely missed.  We have had to pick up the slack since, and only one of us is able to do it most days as the other two have to work at another department.  With one person doing the work of 1 1/2 people, the work piled up and, speaking only for myself, the stress level has gone off the charts.  Well, my stress level once did, but then I was just resigned to working ten-plus-hour days just to keep up.  There will be extensive training, and I don't even know if this new person is going to start in The Third Department.  But, eventually, all of that will be over.  My stress level should fall, and I should be able to get home at a decent time.

I have to admit, though, that once my stress turned into resignation, I was extremely, extremely happy to rack up the overtime.  I've been making a damn killing at work.  It's only fair if I am expected to do all this work by myself.  And all that will eventually be gone, too, and I am none too happy about that.  So, one hand giveth and the other taketh away.  What to do?

Too Much Of ... Everything

So I went to my favorite speakeasy last/Friday night, and I had my two drinks and ate my two plates of food, and I was still so hungry that, after I saw that Jimmy John's gave me two bucks off a sandwich, I bought one.  And then I ate it at the parking lot of a local grocery store, but the sandwich had peppers in it or something, so I needed something to wash it down.  I was going to buy a Pepsi, but I didn't think I was going to drink it.  But I did.

And then my body woke me up early this morning to, let's just say, get regular in the bathroom.  And I had to get up to do it again.  So hey, I'm good with my plumbing.  But I guess you can say that drinking makes me hungry, and I did a bit of both.  But honestly, what gives me a real twinge of regret is the bill I got from the speakeasy.  $100?!  Yeah, I like these guys, but I generally have a rule that I don't spend $100 on myself unless I'm having dinner with friends.

So ... cut back on the drinking, cut back on the eating, and cut back on the money.  Got it.  Maybe.

Maybe I Will Get Fired, Maybe I Won't ... ?

So after thinking about it for almost 48 hours, I fired off a reply to my boss' e-mail where he did not like me speaking out about the workload I had kept to myself.  While I initially wanted my response to be fiery and even maybe a little bit defensive, I toned down the comebacks and invited guidance as to why I need to get done before I leave for the day and what I can push off till the next day.

Well, I haven't been fired.  Nor did my boss snap back at me when he replied Wednesday morning.  I get the feeling, however, he doesn't think I completely understood what he was complaining about.  His response was all about asking for help the next time I'm swamped.  I already know that, I was hoping he could tell me which specific tasks must be done and which can wait.  I didn't get that answer, so maybe we're talking at each other and not to each other.

With that being said, my boss hasn't raised that issue since he e-mailed me back.  Maybe I was right to stop and think instead of react viscerally because, like many things that seemed insurmountable at the time, it washes over by the next day.  Maybe he doesn't really think it's that big of a deal.  Maybe he had to e-mail because he was told to.  So, maybe this is nothing, and I can continue to work overtime to stay on top of the work, however slow my boss thinks I am being.

Bad (And Dangerous) Driver: RUK 895

Remember when I asked myself why I don't honk or flash my lights to an asshole who cuts me off?  Yesterday/Wednesday morning is why, goddammit.

This motherfucker does a U-turn onto the right lane.  There is a huge hauler in front of him, so he starts accelerating to get around that hauler ... and in front of me, in the left lane.  I try to accelerate, but goddammit, my car just wasn't fast enough, and this monstrous big black SUV (maybe it's a GMC, I don't know) cuts in front of me.

I still remember what happened last week, so I honk my horn and I flash my lights.  Apparently, this asshole has nothing else to do at 5:30 in the morning, so he starts playing chicken with me, slowing down and changing lanes in front of me.  He finally lets me pass so I can get onto the highway.  I thought I shook him loose because he stayed on the left lane.  But as I exit the cloverleaf, the son-of-a-bitch appears up the on-ramp.  I know he had no reason to get on the highway by the way he was driving.  And as he zoomed past me, I knew he wanted to bait me.  Yeah, I dropped the issue.  I got him driving where he didn't want to, so I was in his head as much as he is in mine.  He went way down the highway, and I took the next exit.

And I hope that's the end of it, but I don't know.  I got his license plate, but because he got behind me, I'm sure he's got mine.  I didn't get a look at him, though, because that only pisses road rage drivers even more.  This goes beyond annoying and into dangerous.  I admit that I was scared driving home, and am scared that he's looking for me, not just today but for the next few days, at least.  (I'm paranoid enough to think he's already looked up my license plate and knows where I live.)  I'll drive a different route for the next week or so, just in case.

Moreover, though, I am disappointed with my car.  I really thought it would accelerate when I asked it to, but for some damn reason, when I stepped my foot on the gas, it didn't pick up speed.  Did I not press it down all the way, or is my car getting old?  Either way, it's embarrassing.  I know that I swore I wouldn't do stuff like that again, but ... well, I guess I was hoping I could recapture my masculinity on the road when I felt it was threatened.  Maybe more than the possibility that someone might go out of his way to kill me, the takeaway I am taking from this road rage incident is that my car may just be a doddering quasi-jalopy that shouldn't go above 70 miles anymore.

Still, I had to report this prick.  Hey, if this guy tags me on the road, somebody has to know who did it.