Motherfucker Back To His Cruel Ways

I'm just kind of running red right now because Father went through my bedroom and threw everything away.  Well, not everything, but the papers I keep around my bedroom which, for some goddamn reason, has always set him off.  I didn't think he would do it, but the occasion of my sister and brother-in-law gave him an excuse to go on his fucking cleaning jags.

I went home to see my bedroom a lot less, uh, "cluttered" than usual, and then I had to really control my temper in order not to lose it.  I acted passive-aggressively after that -- I had to go out and retrieve two bags of my stuff that motherfucker stuffed into the recycling bin (glad I did that; recycling day's today), I stomped into my sister's room and my former bedroom to find my other stuff, and I didn't eat much dinner (there wasn't much I liked anyway).  I didn't want to start a fight with My Fucking Father, but if My Fucking Father wanted to start a fight, I was ready to meet his challenge.  But he didn't, so I didn't.

And yet my paranoia and anger still wells in me.  I had to alter my plans tonight; I wanted to buy stuff at Target in anticipation of them coming back home, but I had to go to my storage unit to give my stuff safe harbor.  But there is still one big bag of my stuff that, for some fuckin' reason, My Fucking Father put into my old room and not the recycling bin.  He might've thought he couldn't throw it away.  But after I leave in the morning -- and I will leave earlier than I do, and because it's Halloween, I won't be coming back till late -- I could see him going outside, looking into the bin, see that I pulled stuff out (if he hasn't already suspected it), and dumping the rest of my stuff there.  Would he be so cruel?  Yes.  He's My Fucking Father.

The only reason I haven't is because, if he doesn't care enough to look at the bin in the morning, then he has done all he wanted to do, and moving even more stuff into storage is wasted energy when I have other shit I need to do.  But considering this supreme violation, I cannot put anything past him.  He had to fucking escalate again because he has nothing else in his life, that asshole.

Anxiety (Should Be) Rising

Alright, I still don't know if I'm going out to dinner with family Sunday, I don't know if my parents have decided they're going out to dinner with family Sunday, I don't know if the headlight bulbs will be delivered in time to use the minivan for dinner Sunday, I don't know if I should get a rental car to use for dinner on Sunday (and I have to worry whether my parents are not going to freak out about getting a rental car too, but that's another layer of anxiety), and worst of all, I don't know if anybody involved with dinner on Sunday even cares.  I'm afraid this entire damn family is just "playing it by ear" when it comes to dinner on Sunday, and we can't.

Are we doing this or not?  I don't like that I feel as though I need to be the one to initiate conversation.  Yeah, I might be the one who most knows what's going on, and I had to buy the bulbs, and I'm the one going back and forth between my parents and my sister.  But you know, they can talk to each other.  They can make plans.  They can fret over plans, such as dinner on Sunday, and not just me.

So that's what I'm afraid of: Them not caring, me standing my ground and refusing to invest more energy than I already am, and then Sunday rolls around and we can't go because we can't drive the van at night.  So, whose fault is it then?  I'm worried about everything else about them coming; I don't need this, too.

I Have To Admit -- I'm Really Starting To Resent Them Coming Here

Yeah, it's the disruption, the (kind of) lack of privacy, and, once again, my sister's need to make things all about her.  She gets that way sometimes, but mostly on big occasions where she's the center of attention, and it pisses me off.

The last time she was here she wanted all the suitcases we have stowed in her bedroom out of her bedroom, and she wanted all her bedsheets washed.  Now, I think normal family members would of course do that for her, and wouldn't need prompting.  I am not normal.  I could sleep in dusty bedsheets for all I care.  I just need a clean damn bed.  But no, she wants what she and my brother-in-law are going to sleep in all clean and fresh-smelling, even if they're only going to be here a week and a half.

And I think I touched on this before, but this dinner in St. Paul on Sunday is really grinding my gears.  First of all, my sister wants to use my car, and I'm going to give it to her.  Also, it seems really damn inconvenient for one group of people who are staying in this house to go out to St. Paul and then have the people who live in the same house go out to St. Paul later that same day.  And then my folks told me on Saturday that the minivan, the vehicle I will purportedly be using whenever my sister and brother-in-law want to use my car, had its headlights short out.  I had to buy them on Amazon; they might get here before they get here, and they might not.  And on top of all that, I realized that the Wild are playing in St. Paul on Sunday, and around the same time as the early dinner.  I am not that familiar with St. Paul, and now I have to worry about getting stuck in hockey traffic, too??

Once I realized the minivan had no night lights and I'd have to deal with Wild traffic on Sunday, I obsessed over it all day at work yesterday/Monday -- like, distractingly so.  I really do love my sister and brother-in-law, and I really want to spend some time with my niece, who is the reason my sis and bro-in-law are taking my car on Sunday.  But I hate, hate, hate these dinner plans the more I learned what I have to deal with.  I could feel my body well up with rage and anxiety and dread and helplessness because I feel forced to do something I really, really don't want to do.

And then it hit me: If I don't want to go, don't go.  At first that thought was insane.  I don't see my niece a whole lot as it is.  If I don't see her on this opportunity, I don't know when I'll see her again.  Also, has she noticed how seldomly I see her?  If I make the decision not to go, well, she has to know, and what will she think of me?  But as I kept thinking yesterday ... you know, my sister did raise the idea that I didn't have to go.  And I am such an incorrigible bastard that I might say, yeah, screw it, I'll see you guys some other time, tell my niece I say hi.  Frankly, I'm leaning that way right now.  It is selfish and self-centered of me, but once I started being more accepting of that decision, a weight was lifted off of me.  And I would do anything for peace of mind, even ditching family.

So I texted her my concerns.  I asked her if our parents wanted to go to dinner and she said yeah.  Guess I should have talked to them directly since, you know, I live with them.  Anyway, my thoughts are moot if they want to go; I can't not go if they're going.  Then again, their desire to go to dinner on Sunday may be moot if Amazon can't deliver these headlight bulbs in time.  (Yes, they can go to a store to get them, but Father did that on Saturday, and he's so goddamn cheap that when I told him we could get bulbs through Amazon for less than half the price he got them at Wal-Mart, he immediately went back and returned them.)  My sister couldn't foresee this shitshow, but in a shitshow like this, maybe this isn't a good idea, you know?  But these fucking plans are going through, and I have to be the dutiful brother/son and just fucking fall in line, no matter the stress and stupidity of the whole thing.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher soccer (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  It has been an impressive screening Week for Gopher sports.  In fact, it may be The Best Screening Week In University Of Minnesota Sports History because the teams at the U. I cover for the WMNSS went a combined 8-0 over the past seven Days.

They are led by the Golden Gopher footballers, who have finally broken through with some notable success under Head Coach Erin Chastain.  They finished up the regular season beating 11th-ranked Iowa, 2-1, the Match-winner coming from Sophia Boman from the spot in the 65th Minute.  Two big benchmarks come with that victory.  The Gophers complete their first undefeated season at home, with seven Wins, two Draws and no Losses, since 2008.  And by downing the Hawkeyes, it's the first time Minnesota beat two teams ranked in the top 15 when they defeated them (the other being then-eighth-ranked Ohio St., 3-2, at Columbus on Oct. 10) in the same season ever.  Those accolades certainly are enough to keep them at the top perch for the survey, and in Positive Numbers as well.

Now, they did finish only as the 7-Seed, and they will play the Opening Round Halloween night versus the 10-Seed, perennial power (though maybe not this Year) Penn St.  Beat the Nittany Lions and the 2-Seed, UCLA, is next Sunday afternoon.  But the XI's on a three-Game winning streak and their first NCAA Tournament appearance under Chastain is all but certain.  Things are, finally, looking up for this program!

#0: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  Got to be honest: The doomsaying parts of the fanbase are real quiet since the Second Half Debacle vs. Iowa.  This squad has now won three in a row after a thorough 48-23 pasting of Maryland Saturday afternoon for Homecoming.  (That this is the same Terrapins club that came back to defeat my alma mater makes me boil over with rage over how underachieving my team is this Year.)  I also have to be honest in noting how much of a stud Koi Perich has been.  The Esko native is one of the locals P. J. Fleck and the program need to keep home.

Early Saturday afternoon they play Illinois.  Illini Head Coach Bret Bielema is undefeated against Minnesota, spanning tenures in Wisconsin as well as Illinois.  Will that change this season?

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  Sweeps are better than reverse sweeps.  (By the way, if you don't know, a reverse sweep is when the winning team comes back from a 2-0 Set deficit to win.  I feel as though the term "reverse sweep" is gaining steam as a part of the volleyball lexicon.  If and when it reaches that point, I will capitalize it to Reverse Sweep.)  But also, a Win is a Win, and the Gophers did climb out of that hole to defeat Ohio St. on the road on yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  (Looking at the box score, the details of the Game are kind of strange: Set 3, the tipping point Set won by Minnesota, was 25-22, but the other four Sets, in my estimation, weren't close.)  Add a compulsory sweep at home over Northwestern on Wednesday, and the team is 14-6 overall and 7-3 in the league with a trip to the Michigan colleges this weekend.  Not a bad run of form the team's on right now.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  I still feel a bit ... I guess sad that Minnesota now has a second university that will be all-top-flight (well, football is a different beast, but they're Division I in everything else) regardless of sport.  The upshot to that is there will now be a definite big brother/little brother dynamic that will play out whenever the University of Minnesota plays St. Thomas.  The men's hockey teams had a two-Game series over the weekend, and the U. played their presumed role of, well, the U., laying waste to the Tommies at Mariucci Friday, 7-1, then doing so against at The Xcel Energy Center Saturday, 6-2.  One can't really call it a rivalry until St. Thomas is able to stand up and beat the Gophers with some regularity.  Meanwhile, these group of icers start B1G play with a pair at home against Penn St.

#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -5).  I've rehashed how disappointed I am with this program in last Week's WMNSS, and beating the hell out of Minnesota State-Mankato in a home-and-away series by a combined 11-4 score does not change that.  This weekend's series at Bemidji St. won't, either.

#-4: Timberwolves (NEW SEASON!!).  And now we get to the non-U. of M. portion of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  And we'll start with the Timberwolves, who start off possibly The Most Promising Season In Minnesota Timberwolves History, fresh off their tantalizing run that was inexplicably stopped in a five-Game series Loss in The Western Conference Finals to The Dallas Mavericks, who in turn were beaten in five Games by The Boston Celtics in The NBA Finals.  But I'm not mad.

The season started Tuesday on a rancid note, losing to The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0, 110-103, featuring a most hackneyed and contrived moment of history theater when Bronny James went onto the court to play with his father, LeBron, marking the first time in NBA history a father and a son were on the same court together.  But the T-Wolves have righted the ship since, escaping Sacramento Thursday with a 117-115, come-from-behind Win and then beating Toronto, 112-101 in the raucous home opener on Saturday.  It is not lost on me that I have yet to give my thoughts on the trade sending Karl-Anthony Towns to New York.  I will do that some other time, when I have time.  But I will say that integrated Julius Randle will take some time, yet there is no time to waste in integrating him, and seeing he just set the record for Most Points In His First Three Games In A Timberwolves Uniform is a positive step.

This Week: A rematch with Dallas at Target Center tomorrow/Tuesday night, home to Denver Friday, at San Antonio Saturday.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -1).  Well, the club's record for Most Time To Start A Season Never Trailing had to end at some point, and it did during Minnesota's 4-2 victory over the Lightning in Tampa Bay Thursday.  They then lost their first tilt in regulation, a crazy 7-5 affair at Philadelphia on Saturday.  That the screening Week began Tuesday with a thorough 5-1 domination of The Defending Stanley Cup Champion Florida Panthers (still can't fucking believe Miami has got the Stanley Cup before Minnesota), and there is a noticeable digression in the squad's fortunes, even if they sit third in The Central Division.

This Week they finish their long road trip (seven Games, and it's their first road contests of the season at that) in Pittsburgh tomorrow/Tuesday.  They finally come home to St. Paul for three, starting with a return date with the Lightning Friday and Toronto Sunday.

#-6: Vikings (Last Week: -3).  OK, now's the time to panic.  I said last Week that they should beat the Rams.  They still should have, but they didn't, losing 30-20 Thursday mostly because the Defense, which we lauded Brian Flores for not too long ago, has turned into fucking swiss cheese.  (The no-call on the facemask Penalty on Sam Darnold that otherwise resulted in a Safety was absolutely goddamn horrendous, but remember that even if it were called, the Vikes were still down by eight and they still had more than 80 Yards to get into the End Zone.)  Worst of all, Christian Darrisaw tore his ACL and his MCL in the Game and is out for the Year.  He was the stalwart set-it-and-forget-it blindside Tackle every team needs to ensure success, and now he gone.  Forget about the Super Bowl; is it even assured that the Vikes can even make the playoffs now?  Can they even beat The Bastard Baltimore Colts, a group that is itself reeling under doubts Anthony Richardson is their Quarterback of the future, in a Game that's been flexed to Sunday night?

The Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: September 2024

I think I've shared this sentiment before, but I think I would have liked this month more if I could have hung this up on the wall and passively looked at it for a month.  I could be wrong.  As such and anyway, I am mostly cool to this month, although I can single out five waitresses here (out of the dozen featured this month), two of which I like above all.

In fifth place is Lilly, hailing from Charleston, S. C.  Long, blonde hair, black two-piece bikini.  She's posing against a wall, but her right hand is pressed against it, and it obscures her body, which is a pose I don't like.  What I do like is her smile, which is more of a smirk.  In fact, it may be one of the most demonstrative smirks I've ever seen for a Hooters girl in the calendar.

In fourth place is Ashley, of Galveston, Tex.  Another blonde with long hair, she's sporting a purple two-piece.  She is a little small on top, but she has an easy smile, is grabbing the sides or her bikini bottom, and is facing fully forward, showing off her petite and slim body.

In third place is Ryan, out of King of Prussia, Penn.  Long, black hair with what looks to be a glittery two-piece bikini.  She's under a big trickle of water that's bouncing off of her right tit.  That actually covers up her body, which is displeasing.  But I gotta say, she's got massive titties.

In second place is The Main Girl, Sara, hailing from Daytona Beach.  Long, dirty blonde hair, wearing an orange two-piece with the top cross-strapped.  She is also wearing a thin shirt, and she's posing as if she has just opened it up to reveal her bikini, and her thin bod, underneath.  I like that, along with her Cheshire cat grin!

Finally, I am going to give first place to Jaylynn, of Pensacola Beach, Fla.  Long, scraggly brown hair, in a purple two-piece bikini whose top crosses below her boobs.  It looks like she's standing on a lake beach.  What's most impressive about her is her taut body, which she is showing right straight at the camera.  I don't know if she works out, but damn, that's an impressive bod.  Like her smile, too.

So, congratulations to Jaylynn, and to all of others here worthy of distinction.  I have already masturbated to all of you!

How Disrespected Should I Feel?

So I was at my bar for the Game last night.  Probably because it started so late -- but possibly because I would be a little later in getting there because of the concert -- there was one other guy who showed up.  And he left at halftime.  So I did too.  Hey, at least my team won.

But I noticed something, dammit.  We have our alma mater's flag finally hung up on the ceiling of the bar.  But last/Friday night, I looked up and saw that it was covered up by another flag -- a flag for The Edmonton Oilers.  What the fuck???  I don't get the team -- is there an Edmonton Oilers fan club in the Twin Cities?? -- but what really, really bothers me is that it looks as though this flag was intentionally hung right in front of ours.  It's a ceiling; that flag could be hung feet away.  But it was hung on the same ... uh, it's either a pipe or wood, whatever ... that our flag is hung on.

Why?  Somebody wants to troll me?  I have no goddamn beef with The Edmonton Oilers.  So what's the deal with this?  And obviously bar management had to at least give the OK for this cover-up.  How and why did they let this happen?  Or did they want this to happen?

The manager was there last/Friday night, but it was so damn busy that I thought it better to talk to him Tuesday.  I hope there's a good reason for this.  Otherwise, this disrespect is a line too far -- maybe.

Nope, Still Pissed (It Was Rigged!!!)

Yep, the more I see that bullshit sequence of Breanna Stewart shuffling her feet, taking at least five steps, shooting a miss but getting a bailout call on Alanna Smith, and then learning that all of that was upheld upon review ... yeah, that pisses me off.

Others have pointed out that there was a huge pro-New York Liberty slant on the broadcast, from the announcers to the graphics to the fans (to be fair, Game 5 was in Brooklyn).  But the goddamn Commissioner of the WNBA wearing a frock with the New York City skyline on it is ... it's either tone-deaf or a very, very inappropriate case of favoritism.  No, I'll go further -- all that bias proved that Game 5 was rigged so that the Liberty could win.  I mean it.  You may say that's a conspiracy theory, but the trick is in not believing the fake conspiracy theories and believing the real ones.  And swear to Buddha, Game 5 being in the bag for New York City is a real one, goddammit.

When All The Time In The World Turned Into No Time At All

Had it all planned out yesterday/Thursday afternoon.  After I got my COVID shot, I would go to the drive-thru at Jimmy John's, pick up the sandwich I ordered through the application on Tuesday, drive to work and, until I had to punch in, rest in my car and, maybe, nap.  My shot was for 11:30, and I didn't have to report until 12:30, so maybe I was giving myself too much time, but I thought I would be OK.

Well, man, things got fucked up.  The drive-thru was backed up.  And then I saw a note on the speaker that said it was out, so everyone who ordered had to order at the window.  How long does it take to get a sub you order at the drive-thru window?  I didn't really think about that question.  Instead, I waited.  I waited for about 25 minutes at the drive-thru.

What I should have done I didn't even think of until I finally got up to the window and said to the guy that I ordered and paid for a sandwich -- and saw my sandwich, leaning up against the window.  I had a fleeting thought through my head as I was waiting in line that my sub was already done; I just needed to pick it up.  Well, why in the hell didn't I just park, go in to the store, and ask for it?  I designated my order as a drive-thru, but really, I could've just went in there and told them I didn't want to wait.  They would've gone to the drive-thru window, grabbed that sub (which I think was done at around 11: 15, according to the receipt, so more than an hour before I got it), and I could have been well on my way.

So, why didn't I?  And this is when I get so critical of myself.  I just wanted to shut my brain off, I guess.  It was just very, very easy to wait in my running car for as long as need be.  Also, I queued up at around 12:05.  Again, I don't know how long it takes for a sub to be made, especially one where you order at the window because the speaker doesn't work, so the other workers don't have advance time to make it before you get up to the window and pay.  But I thought I had time.  And by the time I realized it was going to take a long, long time, and I was running out of time to get to work, well, there were cars behind me and I was stuck in the drive-thru lane.  They should make sure drive-thru lanes are two lanes long so you can bypass, for whatever reason.  By the way, I was five minutes late.  Could've been worse, but it obviously it could've been better.

Maybe there are extenuating circumstances.  I really do think that if the speaker box was working, that would've meant enough lead time for the cars ahead of me to get their sandwiches and leave faster.  Also, it was lunchtime, so maybe I should've known that there would be a long line.  But I'm figuratively kicking myself for not realizing and/or not thinking that I could have spared myself a lot of time and drained energy if I just changed my thought process.

Then again, I have had cases where it took longer for me to go in and order than it was to just drive through.  Maybe I need to set some routines in my head so I don't need to use much brain power but use enough of it to help me.  If I can order, and if it can be made, in advance (and I already paid through my mobile app), it would then be better for me to park my car and go in.  If not all of those conditions are met, there is no great advantage gained than if I go through the drive-thru.  Maybe that's a hard and fast rule I should put into long-term memory.  Of course, I don't think I'll be working 12:30-9 for a long time, if ever, so maybe I won't have to set this thought process in mental stone.

I'm just pissed that this happened.

Doing Things With Family Is Supposed To Be Fun

So my sister and brother-in-law are coming home soon to visit.  They obviously have plans -- seeing their friends, seeing my niece, visiting landmarks around the Twin Cities and the state -- and that requires using a car, namely mine because it's newer than my parents' minivan.

Several hours ago she texted me about plans, which are getting more concrete in her head.  The Vikings Game I was going to work was flexed to Sunday night, so that means I'm free that day.  My sister thought that she could take my car to the Science Museum for a day with our niece.  I thought that with me being free now, I could go.  But she intimated that she thought it would be a day of just the three of them alone.  That's fine.  I'm not upset.

The thing that annoys me now, however, is that plans are taking shape for a big dinner that evening in St. Paul.  There are a couple complications that I'm still trying to figure out, and because of that I am kind of peeved.  For one: We are not going together.  Rather, they (my sister, brother-in-law and niece) are going to hang out at the Science Museum and then saunter over to St. Paul because the plan is for the dinner to be early.  My brother and sister-in-law are supposed to drive all the way over there from their home.  And we three (my parents and I) are supposed to drive from home to there.  That brings up the second complication: The minivan only seats two.  It was a work van from its days bringing deliveries from The Store to our vendor/clients, so one day, Father just ripped out the back seats.  They're in our basement now, but I don't know how or even if it's possible to put one of them back in.  So if he can't, what are we supposed to do, have just one of them ride on the floor of the van and get jostled around as we go across the river?

This is where a third car, namely a rental car, would be perfect.  As I've blog posted about before, getting one for a weekend would be perfect in order for them to do all that they want, especially if they want to go somewhere beyond the metro area.  But that would be the second weekend, not the first weekend, which is when the Science Museum and dinner are going to be held.  Them taking my niece to the Science Museum would be fine.  It's dinner that is royally screwing everything up.  Having dinner that Sunday instead would be better, even perfect, because it is my sister and brother-in-law's last day here.  And if we had a rental car, we would have a roomy vehicle for all of us to go wherever we want to go for dinner (and this would assume that my niece would be going with her parents, which are my brother and sister-in-law).

But nope, that won't happen.  Apparently, my brother has already made the reservation.  This planning seems so damn inefficient, and it makes us make inconvenient choices for some days that will also result in huge gaps of nothing to do in other days.  Such a stupid waste.  And now, I need to end this blog post because if I keep writing, I will only get more upset.

Just got finished with lunch, which to my parents is basically dinner.  And even though I should be leaving for work right now because I start in half an hour, the thing I really, really want to do now is nap.  And this is after sleeping for seven hours.  Egad, this second shift is going to be a drag.