Being Four Goddamn Minutes Late Costs Me Eighteen Fucking Dollars?!?!?!

Alright, this shit is pissing me off so fucking bad I want to hurt somebody. Really, I want to hurt somebody. This is me at my worst, but I can't help feeling so infuriated -- at the situation, at myself, at the gods above, at everyone around me.

I had an experiment at the U. I was scheduled to do. Because I walked in at 3:04, just four minutes late, I was locked out, essentially. This particular experiment had a waiting room across the hallway. On the sign of the room where the study actually took place there was a sign: "PLEASE DO NOT KNOCK ON THE DOOR UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE." Damn.

So I cooled my heels in the waiting room for the whole hour. At the very end, I told the proctor my predicament. There was nothing she could do, she said. Four minutes. Just four fucking minutes and I can't make any money today. Goddammit.

OK, I'm still upset as fuck that this stupid fucking experiment wouldn't let me in because I was a wee bit late. I mean, who isn't late? This study was held at the business building; is business always on-time? Bullshit. But what pisses me off the most is that I faced, and created, a perfect storm of circumstances that made me late. There were so many factors that went into getting me into that waiting room 240 seconds later than I had, and worst of all, if I had avoided any single one of those factors, I would've been fine:

• The University of Minnesota has two banks separated by a very long bridge. I've been to the West Bank, where this study is, a handful of times, but not in months. And I forgot how long it took me to go from where I usually park to this business school building. Not good coming from a guy who isn't usually punctual anyway.
• So, naturally, I got out of the house late, at about 10 to 2. I need to get there at 3, and I wanted to drop by The Store to tell my parents a few things (it's an excuse to say hi to The Store). But right at the point I get on the on-ramp to the highway, I remember that there are a couple medications for Grandmother ready for her at Target, one that was called in, one that I requested. Moreover, it was close to 2 at this point, and this pharmacy takes lunch from 1:30 to 2. By the time I get there they would have just gotten back from lunch. To me that represents a serendipitous opportunity. Besides, I thought I had time and I might as well get her meds if I'm on the way there. Sadly, I didn't think that there would be a line of people waiting for them to re-open, and it took me 15 minutes to get out of Target. I was lined up to get to the highway again, but then thought better of it, flipped a bitch, and went straight to the U.
• Then, when I parked my car at the U., I felt guilty for not having enough time to drop by The Store. So to make up for that, I looked at the clock on my car, saw I had about 25 minutes left, and decided to call this garage door place. My Father wants to put these bumpers on the sides of the garage door to keep the rats out. We went there to get a new garage door opener installed a few years ago and a woman I went to high school with works at this place, and so she got back to me about this. Unfortunately, she patched me over to a salesman, and after I got down, it was 20 till. Uh-oh.

So maybe I should have run. Or maybe I shouldn't've assumed that this person wouldn't mind a guy being a few minutes late and let me in, just like every single other goddamn experiment I've done. But no. If I didn't go to Target, I would've made it on time. But no. If I didn't decide to make the call and waited until I got to the business building, or some other fucking day, because it wasn't that important, I would've made it on goddamn time. But no.

The only good that came of this is that I decided to stick around just in case I could be a part of the next study the next hour. In the meantime I spent time catching up on writing down the expenses I had receipts for. But when the proctor finally came out, she told me that that was the last study of the day. Fuck.

The study paid six bucks. Not much, but I drove and walked all that way for nothing, and since I'm not working, I wouldn't have minded $6. But that's not all. This was a two-part study, where I come back next Thursday to get paid $12. I assume that because I failed to participate in Part I, I am ineligible to do Part II. So I'm out $18. It's not much, but it's not nothing, and I'm not going to get it because I was four goddamn minutes late. This mistake is going to punish me for a whole fucking week!

I am still so hot over this. I now have to compensate for this by not spending $18 somewhere else, either on my vacation or before I leave or when I come back. It seems so fucking simple to just show up, but because I didn't I have to make all these alternate plans.

Fuck my life. Goddamn. ...