Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Two Weeks Ago: -7). One of these days I will see a U. wrestling meet. They finished the regular season crushing Nebraska 26-7. They then had this new thing called National Duals. From what I can tell, it's basically wrestling's version of March Madness: Sixteen teams qualify to play in dual meets, culminating with a winner this weekend. Well, they destroyed Kent St. and Missouri.

This sounds interesting. Unfortunately the opposition becomes immediately better. This afternoon -- in less than an hour, actually -- they have a rematch with Iowa in the semifinals of the National Duals Final Four. Remember, the Hawkeyes upset the Goofs January 29. The win this, they face (I think later tonight) either fellow B1G member Illinois or the top-seeded team in the tournament (and host institution) Oklahoma St.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Two Weeks Ago: -1). A 3-1 screening weeks period. Swept Ohio St. to complete a perfect six-game road trip, but promptly came home and were upset by North Dakota in overtime, 2-1. They rebounded to beat the no-longer-but-now-maybe-still Fighting Sioux yesterday afternoon, 5-2.

The Goofs remain the second-best team in the country by leaps and bounds. Leaps and bounds, by the way, are the things this program will need to catch Wisconsin, which remains the best team in the country. A clash for the WCHA tournament championship seems to be inevitable. But first it's the first round of the conference playoffs, a best-of-three series next week at Ridder against an opponent apparently to be determined.

#-3: Swarm (Two Weeks Ago: -3). They just finished a three-game homestand last night. They won their first two games, against Edmonton (in OT) and Rochester.

I went to last night's game against Colorado because it was part of a doubleheader with the Minnesota Rollergirls, a roller derby league in St. Paul. It's the second time they've piggybacked a Swarm game. It was fun, even if the girls weren't trying as hard because it was merely an exhibition.

The last five minutes of the Smarm game also felt like an exhibition. They weren't playing that well against the Mammoth, misconnecting on passes and transitioning late to defend their zone when Colorado pushed the ball and the action down the field. Yet they were able to tie it up at 7 (a low-scoring affair in the National Lacrosse League) in the fourth quarter.

But then they gave up the last five goals of the game to lose 12-7. And I have to go to fault one player for the collapse: Goalie Tyler Carlson. He gave up way too many goals in the game. Oftentimes he had the vision of play in front of him clear, and yet he was late in reacting to whizzing shots on goal, only seeing them when they hit the net behind him. And in the five-goal Mammoth run, one of them happened after the ball popped up into the air. Carlson had no idea where it was. It dropped behind him, right around the right post, and the Mammoth's Sean Pollock (a long-time Swarm player) took advantage and fired the ball past Carlson.

He finished with a .658 save percentage. Looking at the stats, that puts him dead last among all #1 goalies in the NLL. He's young, and he's terrible.

Fact is, the whole team is young. The organization decided to put keep mainstays such as Andrew Suitor and Callum Crawford and Ryan Benesch and dumped everybody else in favor of a youth movement consisting of players who want to live and grow the sport here. Guys, lacrosse isn't going to grow if its most well-known product is merely 3-3.

The team now has the next four games on the road. They won't be playing at the X for the next six fucking weeks. Are you fuckin' kidding me?!?!?! At Washington Friday, then the league's All-Star Game (at ... Rochester? Buffalo?) the next night. Some scheduling there.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). Were swept at Denver last weekend, swept Bemidji at Mariucci this weekend. They are still first in the WCHA but still around the bubble of the Pairwise, which probably won't go away unless they make a run in their remaining conference games. Didn't know they were the second-highest scoring team in Division I. How's their defense? I'll look that up some time ... soon.

Hey, did you know that Ferris St. is #1 in the USCHO.com poll? Huh? I thought they're thinking about shutting down their program.

They finish the road portion of their schedule next weekend at Nebraska-Omaha.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Two Weeks Ago: -5). A 2-2 week. They currently stand 14-14 overall and 6-8 in-conference. You know, this may very well be a WNIT team. I'm coming around to not thinking that's a bad thing. However, they have already finished the home portion of the Big Ten schedule. They play Ohio St. in Columbus Thursday.

That's all I've got.

#-6: Timberwolves (Two Weeks Ago: -2). 3-4 since I last did this. Good thing they got the four losses out of the way, consecutively, including Linsanity and the New York Knicks coming to town and coming from behind to defeat the Woofie Dogs. But at least they did win the season series over the Rockets and The Man Who Singlehandedly Destroyed The Franchise, Kevin McHale, in Houston Friday.

May be pie-in-the-sky to entertain, but think about this: Minnesota's only a game below .500. They are in easily the best division in the NBA, the Northwest. They trail eighth-place Portland for a postseason berth by a single game. And they trail sixth-place Houston by only two games. It's not inconceivable for the Timberwolves to finish last in the division and get a playoff slot. Dare to dream, no?

I am going to tonight's game against Philadelphia because my friend is from Philly. They then play at Denver tomorrow and come home Wednesday to face The Bastard New Orleans Jazz before next weekend's All-Star festivities.

#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Two Weeks Ago: -6). 1-3. A gutty road win against Nebraska is a distant memory because they have lost to Wisconsin, Ohio St. and Northwestern. Because of the super-bloated tournament the NCAA is now, they were still holding on to a spot (even though they would've had to play in the play-in game), but that was before the loss to the Wildcats. They have to be out now. And if they still have a chance, their play will shut that door very soon.

With Joel Maturi stepping down soon, big changes could be afoot at the U. I expect the new Athletic Director will want to make a big splash, and the easiest way to do it is by firing people. Pam Borton's on the chopping block. Tubby Smith, too. And by the way, Brad Frost might want to win a tournament game as well. They host, and will lose to, Michigan St. Wednesday night.

#-Infinity: Wild (Two Weeks Ago: -4). Seven in a row. Seven fucking losses in a row, after going 0-6 since I had to talk about this shit team. I am so angry with the Mild right now I have done what I don't think I've ever done before: I am writing about teams out of order on the survey. I'm writing about them first because I want to get rid of talking about this piece of shit squad first. I'm that angry.

What was the worst loss in this losing streak? Losing to the worst team (well, at least points-wise; in reality it's the Mild), Columbus, twice? Is it returning to home ice and getting blasted by Vancouver 5-2? Could it be Tuesday, when they scored the first goal against Anaheim -- and look, I just saw a unicorn!!! -- and then proceeded to cough up the lead and then the game? Or was it last night, when they basically quit in St. Louis, 4-0.

Stop using injuries as an excuse. The list isn't so bad that you can't put out a group of players that could win more than once in seven goddamn games. And I have not heard a single peep from anyone over their current freefall. Is there anybody on the club that remembers this team being on top of the NHL??? Now they're in 12th place in the Western Conference, six points out of the final playoff spot and dropping at light speed. Where's the urgency?!

I now have to question everybody with this organization. The players' commitment, obviously, for one. When the team was riding high I thought Mike Yeo was the answer; now, not only do I think that Todd Richards (who is the interim coach of Columbus, which just beat the fucking Mild ... two times) wasn't the problem, I'm starting to think Yeo is. I have lost faith in Chuck Fletcher as a General Manager. And I'm starting to not like Craig Leipold, either. Does he know people have stopped going to games because his product sucks?

Maybe we were better off without a pro hockey team. It's not like we have much of one now.

They're playing this afternoon at the X against Boston. And it's going to be broadcast over free TV, NBC, as part of its "Hockey Day In America" p.r. stunt. Yay, now everybody in the whole wide world can see us suck shit!!! (And I thought we had a "Hockey Day In Minnesota" -- is it thus not "Hockey Day In Minnesota" today? If so, why are the Mild playing in about an hour?) We're going to be fucking embarrassed today. We go to Miami and Dallas, too.

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