Yeah, got back from vacation, blah-blah-blah...
My father pissed me off again tonight -- second fight of the year. Over dinner, we had a lot of meats which we dip into this vinegar sauce. We eat cold rice noodles with it, and as I've done over my whole life, after I dip my meat into the sauce I dab it onto the noodles.
Well, my father, who has done this in the past but not recently as far as I can remember, starts scolding me. "Only a child does that! If you did that out in public people would make fun of you!"
"We don't eat this out in public, we only eat..."
And then he interrupts me. And that's what angers me the most about fighting with him, or with my mother: When they cut me off as I'm making a point, I lost all my concentration, and that pisses me off even more. I had an awesome logical comeback, but it came out so muddled that I've already put it out of my mind.
The only way I can feel that I'm right is if I can argue my points during my fights with them. My regression back to when they were beating me as a kid of shit I didn't do prevents me from reaching a stage where I can verbally go toe-to-toe with them, Father in particular. How can I win without doing so? How can I grow to be a man without winning?
Fuck you, Father, fuck you and your ridiculous scolding.
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