Today is the kind of day that makes me want to say in the house.
I wanted to leave the house early this afternoon so I can finally go to Uncle Franky's with enough time for me to eat something without needing to hoover it down before I get to "work" at 1. I left the house at 11:45 ... but I forgot my goddamn phone. I wouldn't have gone back for it except 1) my Grandmother warned me she might call me if she needed something, 2) I needed to pick something up for all of us to eat for dinner and I knew that if I just left without my phone she wouldn't called me, and 3) I needed to call someone to fill something out and send it back to me today. So I had no choice but to turn back. Unfortunately that meant I had to do a U-turn onto lunchtime traffic, then wait at an intersection to turn left. I'll be damned if being only a mile and a half away from my house meant I had to take 10 minutes to go home and retrieve my phone. I ate slowly anyway, but I got to "work" a couple minutes after 1. It's not a big deal unless you remember that if I remembered my fuckin' phone I would've been there early, which is always better.
Meanwhile, I was debating whether or not to go out tonight or tomorrow night. Going out meant both going to a coffeehouse and working on my taxes and going to my favorite strip club and getting a few lapdances before I have to pay my enormous tax bill. I couldn't decide, though, and all day I was going back and forth mentally listing the pros and cons of going out both days -- "See ... if I go tonight I can get an LD from my ATF, plus I'm out already, so I won't potentially take my car out tomorrow when it's not absolutely necessary. But there are those two Frozen Four college hockey games I want to watch, and I guess I can go to BJ's and watch there, plus maybe my ex-stripper waitress ATF will be allowed to give me a lapdance." You can tell that I couldn't decide.
In cases like this I wait for the decision to be made for me. And I thought it was when I finally got home from grabbing a chicken for dinner. My Mother beat me home, and she put her minivan right in front of the garage door so I couldn't park my car. I'll have to either ask her to move or get the keys so I can move it, and since I have to go through all this shit I might as well park my car now and not go out tonight.
So I leave my car running and run inside to see that the door's open and my mom's keys are still in the lock. She's dropping by before going to get her mammogram. Oh, OK, so I can wait till she leaves and then park my car. So Mother, you leavin' now. "Not yet," she replied, "5:40." It's 5:20, and I can't just have my car running for 20 minutes, so now I have to go and turn my car off, and since I'm turning my car off that changes my night's plans completely and I now have to go out tonight. The only thing worse than leaving my car running for 20 minutes is to turn it on for just 1 in order to put in my garage.
The minute I turn it off, however, my mom comes out.
"I thought you weren't leaving!"
"I leave now."
"But you said you weren't leaving!"
"My appointment's at 5:40. It's 5:20. I go now."
"But you didn't fucking say your appointment was at 5:40, you said you were fuckin' leaving at 5:40. You made me turn off my car, goddamn you!!" (OK, I didn't say this part out loud, but I was thinking it.)
I turned off my car unnecessarily. I am now forced to go out and do my taxes and get a lapdance at a stripclub because my Mother, well, she misled me.
OK, I wasn't totally on the up-and-up either. I spent too much of my time at the SC and less than an hour at the coffeehouse, and once there I spent most of it surfing the Internet and not checking my taxes. I had to leave 'round midnight because 1) I wanted to see if Jimmy Kimmel Live was live this week (it's not -- hey, no talk show is live this week! What the hell am I supposed to watch late at night?!) and 2) the coffeeshop closes at midnight.
These three incidents all have one similarity: They cost me time. And although I really need money right now, time is something I will never get back.
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