I'm Vaguely Disgusted With This Year's College Basketball Tournament

I turned it off and fell asleep at halftime. Many reasons: There was obviously no way Michigan State was coming back; I also saw the Twins lose their season opener at home, a bad sign of things to come; I thought the Spartans were going to make a game of it; and I kind of was rooting for the underdog to win.

But I guess what most compelled me to turn off the end to the Greatest Three Weeks In American Sport, what I believe to be the best sporting event in the country every year, is that in retrospect, North Carolina was going to win the title and I now feel I should've known that. I love playing the brackets every year, and the fact that this was by far my worst performance in years -- I had Memphis beating Gonzaga in the final, with Duke and Louisville comprising the rest of the Final Four -- if not ever left me no personal or financial stake in the matter. (Once again, thank you, Ken Pomeroy!)

Now, since I'm a fan of college basketball I should get into the tournament just as a fan. That it was a blowout probably contributed to me just turning the fucking thing off. But I have to admit something: Even though we're talking about the best battling the best, my interest in the Big Dance diminishes as it goes on because there are less games. Sure, if they're compelling (like last year's was, with Chalmers[?]) they're great. But remember the first Thursday of the tournament? You played hooky -- or in my case you woke up early to go to Hooters -- to bear witness to yet another yearly installment of the Big Dance. It comes around every spring, and it coincides around the time of my birthday, so it truly feels like the weather here in Minnesota, and I, am reborn every year. Seriously. I feel that the Tournament is something not just special, but sacred to the country. Seriously!

Not to blaspheme, but the odds are greater that that excitement will fall and even end because not only does the excitement of a new tournament wear off each round, but the freneticism of the first two days (both during the workday) are gone, replaced by fewer games to divert your attention and less of a chance that you're going to see a buzzer-beater. (And by the way, the fact that there weren't any buzzer-beaters is another reason why this year's tourney will go down as one of the most boring in history.) And by the end, on a Monday night (and is it played at 8:30 in the evening local? That means the game tonight started at 9:30 Detroit time, which means that, I'm guessing, half of the 88% of the people of Michigan who went to see the game still had jobs and thus thought "fuck it" and left to get a good night's sleep. Move up the fuckin' time already!) we had one game we were hoping that the home team would be competitive, and since they weren't, we were left groping for alternatives and finding none. Boring end to a boring tournament, sad to say. I couldn't bring myself to stick around and care.

Oh, and by the way, "One Shining Moment" is so overrated.