Why in the fuck didn't I go to my friends' house to see fireworks, huh? I decided to go to the track instead. What, was it the fact that their house is over 40 miles away, and I would have to go down in that direction for the fourth straight day (fifth if you count picking up my parents at the airport tomorrow)? Was it that I'd be surrounded by kids? Hell, they probably love me. And putting 100 more goddamn miles on my car was better than losing $60 at harness racing and one $20 hand at the blackjack table. I don't have a job, I don't have any money! I could've gone somewhere where I could be fed for free, and talk to people who actually like me!! But nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I didn't want to see kids, and I didn't want to drive that far. Instead I wanted to piss my money down the drain.
God, I hate myself.
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