Took Back A Tip

Remember the Seinfeld episode where George was pissed at the cashier at the calzone restaurant for not acknowledging his tip and so took the tip he already placed in the jar when that cashier wasn't looking, but got caught when the cashier looked back?

What happened at the Nomad World Pub the day of the World Cup Final kind of reminded me of that, and in fact helped reach my split-second decision.  This happened more than a month ago, but I hope the waitress I fucked over doesn't care or totally forgot.  Because if I were her, I would never allow me back in there again.  But I just didn't think that ...

So the place is packed; for soccer, the Nomad is the place to go.  It went into overtime -- of course, it's a soccer match -- and so I decide to give up my prime spot standing right beside a speaker in front of the big projection screen at the far end of the place to go up to the bar and get myself a beer.

Once I push my way through the throng and belly up, I had to wait till I get the attention of one of the very busy bartenders.  I ask one of them a question, I forget what, and when he answers with something like, "We don't have that," he passed me by to help other customers.  So I was put in a bad mood.

When I finally got another barkeep and ask for, I think, a Bud, she asks me, "Are you paying by cash?"  I think I hear her over the din of the crowd but am puzzled by what she asked me.  This was a no-spending-cash day, so I say no.

So I get the beer and the receipt.  The bartender is tending to other things, so I just make sure I did it right -- wrote my signature down on the right place, signed the merchant copy instead of the customer copy, etc. -- when I noticed an item on the receipt: Something like a "credit card charge" or something.  The hell?  So that's why she asked me how I was paying!  Well, fuck this, I said to myself.  I didn't totally understand what was going on, but if there was going to be an upcharge just because I decided to use my Visa, then that stands in for my tip.

I was part scared to get caught like George, but part furious, but I decided to do it: While she was running around doing other things, I picked up the pen again and crossed out the amount I allowed her to charge me by a buck.  I was panicking as I scratched it out, so I put down the pen and the receipt upside-down, took my beer, and took off for the outdoor area, where the game was being shown on a large TV screen.

My plan was to stay until the game was over (it took a late last-second goal from Spain in the second OT, about 15 minutes after I escaped the bar) then leave through the parking lot so she doesn't see me.  There were a lot of people there and it was kind of drizzling, so I had very few places I could stand and watch the game.  I settled on a spot only several feet away from the door to the inside, right next to a stove that was serving hot food, and right above a scary, heavy line of ants surrounding something.

Just after the goal was scored, I turn ... and see the waitress!!  Damnit!!!  She didn't look at me, she just walked past with this hurried gait and worried look on her face.  She was talking to some of her co-workers for stuff, I guess.  In a fit of fear I bolted from her wake as soon as she walked past me to another part of the outdoors area, one where I didn't have much of a view of the game.  Later, I saw her holding a plate of food; maybe she really wanted to take a break.  Or, maybe she was pissed at me for taking away money.

Later I realized what that credit card charge could've meant.  The government passed that consumer protection reform bill a couple months ago.  One of the new laws allows merchants to charge different prices for items and services if the customer pays by cash or check instead of credit card.  All the articles I've read regarding this new provision couch it so that there's a discount if you pay by cash, but no way in hell does that not get turned around so that a business can charge more for a credit card.  And I think that's the case here.

And if so ... well, it's not a tip to the wait staff, but I still don't like it.  So I may or may not go there for MLS Cup 2010.  And if I do, I hope that waitress doesn't throw a beer in my face.