Sleeping Through The Alarm

One of the good things about being unemployed is that your time is your own.  That's an underrated feeling of independence and freedom, the ability to do what you want and go where you want to go.  And, also, to wake up when you want to.  I'll get up when I feel like fucking waking up because I refuse to pick up a paycheck in exchange for being someone's slave, thank you very much.

However, I do have a few things I need to do from time to time, and so I set my phone alarm.  (I have one on my watch, but I think it's too quiet, plus the buttons are worn and don't work sometimes.  I also have one on my radio, but the buttons for it don't work.)  I don't mind having an alarm clock to wake up to if I am waking up to something I want to do.  I've been waking up at 12:30 in the afternoon, and that is awesome.

I have had this fear that when I was working I would blow through the alarm clock, in fact using as little as my brain as possible to move, grab or push the device making that infernal racket, and turn it off before going back to bed.  There was no conscious move to be late for work or blow it off, but my subconscious or body -- or the real me -- decided I didn't give a shit if I missed whatever appointment I had to hold to.  I was tired, and if it was enough for me to skip work, so be it.  I've lost employment many times over this.

I did think that those days came to an end in my recent spate of unemployment.  I would have plenty of time to rest the night before, so how could I ever sleep late?

Well, it happened to me.  Twice.  And I'm ashamed to admit it.

The first time was a couple weeks ago, when I had to go into "work" for a fresh bottle of pills I'm taking for this experiment.  I scheduled this a couple weeks before but at 11 a.m., a time that, even if I'm woken up via alarm at that time, wouldn't bother me; I'd be like, "You know, I should get up."

I set my alarm; I had one thing I wanted to do, then I'd go.  Well, I was woken up by the phone -- not its alarm but a call.  I didn't catch her name, but I thought she was from the experiment.  I was in a still out-of-it frame of mind, but I needed to discern if she was actually from the experiment, than exactly why she was calling me.  After she told me she was from the experiment, I reminded her I was supposed to drop by at 11.

"It's 11:30," she replied.

Huh?  I finally get enough brain cells to fire its impulses for me to be awake enough to look over to the floor and see my clock.  And indeed, it was 11:30.

Oh no! I cried.  No-no-no-no-no!  Dammit!  I really was vocalizing my hate for myself at this point.  I couldn't believe I couldn't wake up for an 11 o'clock appointment for an experiment I decided to sign up for.

But then I remebered a few things.  I was up late the night before, but thinking there's no way I would deactivate the alarm and fall back to bed; I mean, that's unprofessional.  And I remember hearing the sound of the alarm, reaching over and fumbling with it, thinking, "I just need a couple more minutes ..." then closing my phone and eyes.

Without that call, I could have stayed asleep till 2 in the afternoon.  I've done that before, a few times, in my post-college years.  Those days were wonderful.  Anyhoo, none of the experimenters were upset.  Thank God.

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I have slept through an alarm twice in my post-employment phase.  Both times have happened within a month.

The second time occurred yesterday morning.  It was for a 7:30 a.m. housecall by the nurse.  They're scheduled so early because Mother has to take part.  But they're always a pain in the ass.  This time it was exacerbated by me staying up till 4:30 a.m., which in itself was exacerbated because I was feeling really tired that night.  But I set the alarm at 7 anyway.

I was woken up by the feeble tapping at my door by Grandmother.  I had no idea what she was going to ask me to do.

"Come out."

"Huh?"

"The nurse is here."

"... Oh, really?"

Yeah, I got conscious real quick.  The nurse didn't seem to mind either.  But it was still very weird and somewhat inappropriate for the nurse to see you come out in pajamas after Grandmother loudly announced that you were asleep.

The scary thing is is that unlike the day of the experiment, I don't remember getting up or turning off the alarm or anything.  Furthermore, just now I turned on my space heater.  The button on the dial to set the controls is missing, so I use the flat side of a blade on my Swiss Army knife to turn it shut, then unplug it so it doesn't waste energy.

Well, it's cold and I wanted my room to be warmer, so I plugged it in ... and it started.  It's like I didn't even bother with the knife and just unplugged it.  I must've done it when I was woken up by my phone alarm.  But I don't remember fucking doing that at all.