#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -5). Coincidentally enough, the distaff footballers also beat Northwestern -- the soccer team -- 2-1 on Friday night. Did the two Wildcat teams travel on the same plane or bus? They should have; cuts down on expenses and stuff. That breaks a four-game winless streak.
They have followed that up with a very impressive 3-0 win at Indiana to finish their regular season 4-4-2 in the Big Ten and 12-5-3 overall. More importantly, it's the 200th victory in program history. That should raise their RPI, which as of last week was #35. That should be enough to make the NCAA Touranment, right?
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -4). Finish the screening week 2-1, which is a shock. They should've gone 0-3, but they picked up victories over the best team in the regular season last year, San Jose, on Tuesday, and then outlasted the Bastard Atlanta Flames tonight (Friday night) 2-1. They finish their five-game homestand at 3-2. And the bag skate continues to pay dividends.
They have two games against fellow expansion squads this week: They're at Columbus Saturday, then wait till Thursday before playing at Atlanta.
#-3: Lynx (Re-Entry!). They have done what the Timberwolves have not done. No, not win championships, silly rabbit -- win the lottery! They did so for the third time in the last six years on Tuesday. Barring a calamitous injury, in April they will be selecting Connecticut Small Forward Maya Moore, who helped the Huskies run the table last year and win the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament.
One problem: The Jynx already have an overall #1 -- Seimone Augustus. Moreover, they have, get this, four other first-round draft picks on their roster. Plus, they have four more first-round draft picks chosen by other teams on their roster. What I'm saying is, if these guys have nine first-round draft picks on the team, why are they in a position to be so bad they could wind up out of the playoffs and getting the first pick in this year's lottery? Shouldn't the Jinx be good enough to get into the postseason by now?? Shit, man, they should've won a championship or two by this point. And if they haven't, will adding Maya Moore really change things?
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -3). What the fuck got into the Gopher men's hockey team??? The team not only swept Colorado College in Colorado College, they destroyed them, by scores of 4-1 and, get this, 9-4. That's the most they've scored in almost five years.
These teams were evenly matched and shared space near the bottom of the USCHO.com Top 20. So these two resounding victories, by a combined total of 13-5, have to put these guys on top this week. Maybe this is a sign this team is no longer fucking around.
But then came Monday. Sophomore Forward Zach Budish was fucking around in his moped when he got into an accident and tore the ACL in his right knee. Torn ligaments in the knee mean Budish is out for the rest of the year. And for a program that is still razor-thin in talent and still hasn't demonstrated they have the fire to compete (last week's game excluded), this is the worst thing that can happen to them.
And then came tonight (Friday night). Hated rivals Wisconsin came in to Mariucci and introduced them to a little bit of prison sex, 6-0. The Badgers are ranked right in front of the Gophers in this week's USCHO.com Div. 1 poll and it's a rivalry game -- how the fuck do you get blown out by such a high crooked number at home???
I thought these guys deserved a rare spot at the top of the WMNSS, but after this (and because I was really late in doing this) I have to drop these guys down. Sorry, but they don't deserve it. Just be glad I'm not doing this this time tomorrow night, after they lose to Wisconsin again at home.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). They needed a solid win against a ranked opponent and they did against Northwestern Friday night. I was there to see the Gophers' four-set win over the Wildcats. They gave us a scare because they won the third set; Minnesota's main problem is that they have not been able to deliver the killing stroke, and in fact they've lost, I think, two matches after winning the first two sets. But they won the fourth set relatively easy, 25-18.
Unfortunately, I saw Sophomore Outside Hitter Katherine Harms sprained her ankle while diving for the ball over the scorer's table; her prognosis remains unknown. The injury bug has infected the Gophs this year, with Hailey Cowles gone for the season and Lauren Gibbemeyer missed the first part of the year because of her wrists. But Gibbemeyer's back, and in fact she won Co-Big Ten Player Of The Week for her output in this and the Iowa game.
So what the fuck happened tonight (Friday night)??? Seriously -- a four-set loss at nondescript Indiana??? They have never been an even good team as long as I can remember. How the fuckity-fuck do you lose to Indiana when you're the 19th-ranked team in the country??? How???
I thought these ladies deserved the #-2 spot, but now I can't. They don't deserve it. They have no excuse losing to the Hoosiers, even with the loss of Harms. And they, now sitting 7-6 in the Big Ten, goddamn well don't tomorrow (Saturday) night at Purdue.
#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). The best women's hockey program in Minnesota will, once again, not hail from the Twin Cities. It'll be in Duluth, where last weekend the Bulldogs swept the U. by a combined score of 7-4. It was close, but the Gophs could not get over the hump.
One quick comparison as to why UMD has had a better team the past half-decade than the Minnesota. I bought the program for last year's Women's Frozen Four, which was being held at Ridder. Nearly every player on the Gophers is from Minnesota. The vast majority of UMD players are not from Minnesota. And the Bulldogs beat the U. in the semifinal and beat Cornell in the title game (in triple overtime, I have to add). Conclusion: The Gophers get the best from the state; the Bulldogs get the best from the country. This is a trend that warrants further observation, in this program and others with the U.
They've gotten back on a winning note tonight (Friday night), however, with a 7-5 victory over Wisconsin. However, they still are under .500 (3-4) in the WCHA. They play the Badgers again at Ridder tomorrow (Saturday) afternoon.
#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7). Any fancy ideas they could be a contender this year were obliterated in their 1-4 week. They got their first win out of their way last Friday against Milwaukee, but then reality set in.
They sent the signal that they would have trouble again with back-to-backs because they lost by 20 to a Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies team that is getting better but still beatable at home.
Then they went to Miami and Orlando, and expected blowouts came to be. But the Magic game, another back end of a back-to-back, was particularly disgusting. Two dubious records were set Wednesday: It was the worst ass-kicking the Woofie Dogs ever suffered, 42, and Orlando set a franchise record by scoring 78 points in the first half. Yeah, you read that right. Teams sometimes don't score 78 points a whole game. They finished this shit week by losing by ten at home to Atlanta. The Bastard St. Louis Hawks are a real good team; does losing to them by ten count as a moral victory?
Jonny Flynn is still injured, and Ricky Rubio still doesn't want to play here. But those excuses aside, I still have no idea how Head Coach Kurt Rambis is deploying his roster. What are their fucking roles? Who's the #1 scorer? Who's the #2? The #3? The sixth man, etc. I don't think Rambis has any clue.
This Bataan Death March of a season continues with three games this screening week, all on the road: Houston, Bastard Minneapolis Lakers, Sacramento. The number in their win column should remain at "1."
#-8: Gopher football (Last Week: -6). Just playing out the string. I was hoping that maybe, maybe, they would spring a surpise upset of Ohio St. because they were playing the national game Saturday night. And they did ... through the first quarter after they tied the game up at 7. Then they got blitzed the rest of the game 45-3.
Have the players given up? That's a very good question. There is such a talent gap that we probably won't know for sure. We definitely won't know tomorrow (Saturday) early afternoon as they trot out like lambs to the slaughter in East Lansing to play Michigan St.
#-9: Vikings (Last Week: -8). Quick analysis of the loss to New England: Lost like I predicted and many thought. Having Tom Brady basically stand in place and kill clock for two downs knowing the mellifluously named BenJarvis GreenEllis will undoubtedly punch it in on third down is a dick move by Bill Belichick, even if it was genius, because he wants everybody to know that he's a dick and doesn't care what anyone else thinks.
Now, to Mossgate ... both sides are right, and yet both sides are so, so wrong. If you go up to the owner after the game and implored him to fire the coach that he went out of his way to hire, then you say in your press conference that you basically want to suck Belichick's dick, then you tell the coach that you don't respect that you're staying behind to see family against team rules, you're asking to be fired. I wouldn't put it past him.
Then again ... he has talent. Even if he was bitching and moaning about his role, he grabbed two touchdowns and was a big part of opposing defensive coordinators' gameplans all week. There was always double coverage on Moss, and that's why Percy Harvin had so much time to run free; that's gone (and that doesn't even account for Harvin's ankle injury, let alone his migraines). Finally, what if he's right about Head Coach Brad Childress not taking his suggestions in planning against the Patriots?
And this is where it's about the coach. Has he lost the locker room? He may very well have. In fact, Owner Zygi Wilf delayed okaying Moss's waiver because he wanted to talk to players before doing so. Reports say there was a possibility that Wilf was going to fire Childress and keep Moss. Unbelievable.
Finally, as Bill Parcells said, you are what your record says you are. And the Vikings, Childress's team, is 2-5 and tied for last place in the NFC North with the fast-improving Detroit Lions. There is a huge chance that their game this Sunday against the Bastard Chicago/St. Louis Cardinals could be the tipping point of the season, the coup de grace for Chilly's time in Minnesota, and maybe the beginning of the end for the Vikes in Minnesota. They could still go on a run and win the Super Bowl. Or they could give up starting this weekend and turn in a 2-14 season. Right now it could go either way. One thing I know will be true: You will never hear the Metrodome louder with fans booing than Sunday.
No comments:
Post a Comment