#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3). Basically taking care of their shit. Completed a 2-0 sweep of Ohio St. at Ridder with a 3-2 win Saturday, then began the Final Faceoff, aka the conference tournament, with a 4-2 "upset" of UMD, also at home, last (Friday) night. Forward Amanda Kessel, named Thursday as the WCHA Rookie Of The Year, picked a pretty good time to register her first hat trick of her collegiate career to get the Gophers, ranked higher than the Bulldogs but technically the road team for this game because they finished as the third, not the second, seed, into the conference championship.
A spot in the NCAA Tournament is all but assured now. But can they win the WCHA tournament by beating the #1 team in the country, Wisconsin, this (Saturday) evening?
#-2: Swarm (Last Week: -4). A second consecutive game, a second consecutive win over bottom-dweller Colorado, this one on the road, this in OT, 11-10. Leading Swarm, and National Lacrosse League, Most Valuable Player candidate Ryan Benesch scored his second goal of the game 33 seconds into the fifth quarter to win it. The second-place team is now off till the 25th, where they play at Edmonton.
#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Don't look now, but the Gophs have not lost in their last six games. They completed a home sweep of Michigan Tech (god, that program sucks and has sucked for as long as I can remember) with a 5-2 win Saturday, then came from ahead to tie Bemidji St. at 3 at Bemidji last (Friday) night. Pat White -- where did this guy come from? -- put the Gopher Y-chromosome icers in the lead with his second goal of the game late in the third period. But what I consider to be somewhat out of a questionable disarming-a-player-of-his-stick-with-his-stick penalty on Nick Bjugstad (reigning conference Rookie Of The Week) turned into a Beaver power play goal with 19 seconds left in regulation.
Still, the point Minnesota got assured a top-half WCHA finish, which means they'll get to host the WCHA Final Five play-in series for the first time in, like, a few years. Where exactly they finish, and who they play, partly depends on their regular season finale tonight.
#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -6). A 2-1 week. Their loss was against South Alabama in what should've been the opener of the Dairy Queen Classic played at the Metrodome. But because of ... obviously ... they're "hosting" in Tucson, Ariz. This week: Games vs. Washington and Oklahoma St., then start a series against Gonzaga in Sacramento, another schedule change affected by the roof collapse.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -9). Whoa, a non-losing week? Winning! Er, not losing. Anyway, they split their four games, beating Golden State and at dysfunctional Detroit, losing to the Bastard Minneapolis Lakers and at a Philadelphia squad that completes a sweep by the 76ers. More importantly, Kevin Love's double-double streak is intact. Most importantly, he is helping me stay first in my fantasy basketball league. They also play four games this week: at Washington, then home for Dallas, Indiana and Utah.
Oh, I should say something about the trades a week ago. As I've said before, I like Corey Brewer, but he was not going to be anything more than the turnover-prone, vision-impaired guy who hustles after he makes a mistake and can throw down a thunderous dunk once in a while. He had no future here, but I wish him well. Now, Anthony Randolph ... I know little about him except he's kind of a bust, he's tall and lanky, and he talks to himself, like Michael Beasley. GM David Kahn traded for his contract, right?
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -2). Up and down, which you shouldn't do in a fight for the NHL playoffs. They looked shitty in back-to-black losses at home to Chicago, then at the Islanders. Who loses to the Islanders, let alone 4-1? But then, somehow, they go to Madison Square Garden and beat the Rangers, a team also fighting for a playoff spot, 3-1. I hate their inconsistency, but I like their resilience.
They now sit in 11th place, but just a point out of eighth and two points out of sixth, three points out of fifth and four points out of fourth. God, they will have so many goddamn chances to make the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Four games this week: home to Buffalo and Colorado, then at Nashville and the Team That Was Stolen From Us.
#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -8). As good as the state of hockey is in The State Of Hockey, the state of basketball in Minnesota absolutely blows. They have lost eight out of their last nine games, and this screening week, where they lost at home to Michigan and at Northwestern, just about ended their chances of making the Big Dance.
Al Nolen's injury has destroyed this team. But what affect, if any, has his absence have anything to do with an occurence that has happened way too often this season: A fast start, then a collapse characterized by an ability to score and hold onto the ball in the clutch on offense, and stopping runs at the end of games on defense.
And it looks like all the losing has exposed the enmity on this team, specifically the one between Head Coach Tubby Smith and Shooting Guard Blake Hoffarber. Smith was seen yelling at Hoffarber in the Gophs' loss to Northwestern Wednesday. He's done this many times this year, but this time around, Hoffarber began yelling back at Smith. Hey, he's a senior, he doesn't give a fuck anymore. Senior Day tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon against Penn St. should be interesting. The Big Ten Tournament then starts Thursday, where Minnesota will have to begin play because they are so bad.
#-Infinity: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5). I can look at the bright side: This program losing now means one less entry in the WMNSS. These surveys take a long time in the winter.
A 14-point loss at home to Michigan St. to end the regular season, then a non-competitive nine-point loss in the first game of the conference tournament to Northwestern ends their season, unless there's, like, a collegesports.com tournament that's below even the Women's NIT.
These Gophs are the worst-shooting and lowest-scoring team in the Big Ten, and as it has been all year, they lost because they couldn't fucking get the ball into the fucking hoop, especially late in games. It's a relief, however, that they didn't have a lead in the second half to blow, like it's done frequently in this dreadful, dreadful season.
There was a very informative article in the Star Tribune on the state of the Minnesota women's basketball program, whose glory years with Lindsay Whalen and Janel McCarville seem like eons ago. The most striking fact revealed in creating this piece: Out of 17 former players of the program, all of them coached under Pam Borton, several of them a part of the Great Defection after the 2006 season, only three agreed to be interviewed. And Whalen and McCarville were among the 14 to keep silent.
The current players are all interviewed, however -- by Athletic Director Joel Maturi. This is customary policy under Maturi after a team's season ends, so the distaff ballers should be debriefed soon. If there is any possibility Borton is shitcanned, it has to be now. Keeping this program out of the muck it was in the entire 20th century depends on it.
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