Whenever I'm down and feeling shitty about myself, like I do now, I cheer myself up by looking at porn. Actually, I look at porn even when I'm happy. But I think you know what I mean: Whenever I need a pick-me-up, I look at porn.
I don't think I'm that much weirder than other heterosexual men. I may be hornier, and I might, um, express my urges in unusual ways, but don't tell me that guys like me don't think about sex more than half the time. If they do, me thinking about it, uh, 85% of the time doesn't make me so strange, now, does it?
I'll admit that one of things that might set me apart from other guys my obsession and intensity when it comes to sexuality. For example, I believe that all straight males notice a hot chick in a bikini. But what's different about me is that I will fixate on that girl, possibly to the point where other people notice. Whatever, I don't care, I like lookin' at hot chicks. And dreaming about what I could do to them -- with her consent, of course. And what they could do to me.
I see porn all around me. There are sexual images wherever you go and whatever you watch, especially on TV. Those who don't believe that are either liars or fools. I see it and I get all horny inside.
It could come from anywhere. Take, for example, the Busch Beer commercial underlaid by "Can't You See," a song from the Marshall Tucker Band I've grown to like because it's in this ad. I wish I could've embedded what I'm talking about, but for the life of me I can't find it. Anyway, even though there are a couple similar ones, there's a spot where a guy's at a pool party, he opens a can of Busch, there's that annoying effect where a guy with a deep voice says "Buschhhhhhhhhhhhh" to mimic the sound of the opening of the can, and the pan tracks around the guy as the scene changes from a backyard pool to the mountains. All of a sudden, the entire party has turned into a camping trip, a tree trunk (I think?) in the foreground used as a wipe.
What I stare at in these commercials are the babes. They are in swimsuits at the pool, but when it turns into the mountains, they all put on short shorts and boots. However, they still have bikini tops on. Do women usually do that while camping, or is that some sort of fantasy men create? Either way, it's hot.
This is why I don't think I can go on camping trips with single people my age: Whenever I see this commercial, all I could think about is that what I'm seeing blows, and I have my own "dream camping trip." Namely, the girls can all keep the get-ups they have on in the commercial -- boots, shorts, bikini tops, sunglasses, hats, all that. But there can be no other men except me. And whenever I want to, I'll take my dick out and show those hot girls how hard they make me. And then one of them jerks, sucks and fucks me.
If a friend ever get asked out on a camping trip -- not like I'd ever go on a camping trip; shit, like I have friends -- I can't go if there's another guy. Yeah, that's weird. But to me, fighting for a woman's attention with another guy in a captive environment like Mother Nature is weird.
I'm horny.
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