Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. I ... I can't fucking believe this.
I'm sorry to go all fucking crazy here. My Fucking Father's still not talking to me because he's being a brat, and I just saw two amazing endings to the games tonight (Friday night). But in researching the WMNSS this screening week, I went through all the local teams still in play: the Woofie Dogs, the Mild, Gophs baseballers, and the Swarm (which I have yet to come up with a derisive nickname for).
All of them lost this week. Every game they played. This is not a joke ... well, actually it is, but I'm saying it's true. From this past Saturday to Friday, every single contest those four teams played, they were defeated in. I don't know if that's ever happened in the WMNSS's history.
A week after the 1-2-3-4 sucker punch of four Gophers programs flaming out in embarrassing losses, and now this? This ... is too much to take. I'm about to flip out, like My Fucking Father. Except I have just cause.
So, to combat this recent wave of suckitude, I have to make a statement. For the first time in the two-year history of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, I will not conduct a Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey. It's partly in protest of this shameful display of incompetence by the sports teams that represent this great state and metropolitan area of ours. But it's also because I wouldn't be able to rank them. I mean, which team is best when all of them lost? I guess I could put them in order of how many games they lost. I've done that before. But this week, I don't think I could just do that. Attention needs to be paid to this abortion of a sports scene.
Furthermore, I will not do another WMNSS until a local team wins a fucking game. That'll probably happen next week, and everything will be back as it was. But with the way all these fucking teams suck, who knows? We might have to wait until the second or third series the Twins play before I do one of these again.
I get to look on the bright side, however: This week's WMNSS is damn short.
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