Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from August 17th:

• That Friday the 17th I spent my afternoon at a place I've never been to ... even though it was only a five-minute drive away from me: The Banfill-Locke Center for the Arts.  I had never heard of the place until I saw an article in the Star Tribune about an exhibition that was about to close there: The Art of Cash.  Extremely small collection of pieces (housed in a big house), but it's a perfect way to spend an hour.  The best piece is "Honesty," a double-wire screen with some of the holes filled with rolled-up dollar bills that, if you step back a bit, spell out the word "honesty."  The artist felt that people would surreptitiously take a bill, and pretty soon more and more people would take money from it, thus symbolizing the loss of "honesty" depicted in the piece.  Brilliant.  Oh, I made a donation to Banfill-Locke, as well as to one of the pieces, where my dollar bill would be sewn onto this huge line of bills that visitors dropped off.  Also brilliant.  Total: $2.
• That night I went to Robbie Stadium for the kick-off of the University of Minnesota women's soccer season (and really the beginning of the college sports season).  Thank Buddha tickets for this remain free.  Program, hot dog and Coke: $9.50.
• Then I went to (formerly) My Favorite Coffeehouse (Late-Night Edition).  Coffee with tip: $2.
• Saturday the 18th I knew I was going to spend money, so I took some from my PCA pay.  An Infusion of: $50.
• Went to the coffeeshop at the mall closest to me.  Coffee with tip: $1.50.
• Last thing I wrote down for the day was going to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place.  Don't know what I did in between coffee and there.  Oh well.  With tip: $9.50.
• On Sunday the 19th I went back for another U. pitch game.  Same thing, except that along with the program and hot dog, I made sure to buy a souvenir-size Coke.  Because I collect those souvenir cups.  Yes, I'm a kid: $10.50.
• After MRI work that evening I went Caffetto to chill.  Coffee with tip: $1.75.
• Over to Tuesday the 21st, where I went to see Brave (not a bad movie, though it didn't stir me emotionally until the end).  Ticket, popcorn and pop: $8.
• I then saw Hit & Run, a movie I mentioned, in an earlier blog post, with a friend.  Popcorn and pop also: $8.
• Wednesday the 22nd I embarked on trying something different: Working out in the afternoon.  That would save me two trips from home in a day, thus saving money, and it would fulfill my need to get away from the house in the afternoons, plus it'd be productive and healthy for me.  The biggest setback to making this a full-time deal is the fact that there usually is nothing on TV that I want to watch during the day.  And I can't exercise without being entranced by a show.  I was glad to see a soccer match and a couple baseball games, but days without sports?  Those are days I don't work out, plain and simple.  Admission: $3.
• And then there is Friday the 24th, the night where I got kicked out of what used to be My Favorite Coffeehouse (Late-Night Edition).  But not before I had to pay for my coffee, and with tip: $2.
• Saturday the 25th.  This was the day us siblings, my sister-in-law and my sister's best friend kicked it at the Minnesota State Fair.  God I love that place.  But as I had said before, I wanted to prepare by emptying my stomach, and to do that I went to the community center to work out.  Admission: $3.
• And I have to be grateful to these guys for buying most of food I ate.  What I purchased was my own corn and all but a buck of the Minneapple Pie, which is a slice of apple pie deep-fried to hell and topped with either vanilla or (my choice this time) cinnamon ice cream.  Total: $8.
• On Sunday the 26th I once again finished my tube time with Caffetto coffee and tip.  Another: $1.75.
• Monday the 27th: I went to the U. to do a study, one that doesn't involve going into a magnetic tunnel and holding still for hours.  This one had to do with rearranging sentences and typing them in your own words, and then eating M&M's.  For that I got an Infusion of: $7.
• Started off Tuesday the 28th needing more money in my wallet.  PCA-aided Infusion of: $50.
• While waiting to get my car looked over, I finally went to the independent coffeeshop close to my high school, one I haven't been in in at least three years.  Unfortunately they didn't have wi-fi, so I had to go to another coffeehouse close to the high school, one I've never been to.  Had coffee for an hour and caught up on Mafia Wars.  With tip: $2.
• Took advantage yet again of Stimulus Today at the theater closest to me to watch The Bourne Legacy.  Verdict: Not bad.  I thought it was a mistake to continue on with the franchise after Matt Damon decided to leave, but this was a plausible, entertaining way to keep it going.  Ticket, popcorn and pop: $8.
• Found a penny that day.  An Infusion of: $.01.
• And I gave that penny to my sister to help her out with change when we decided to go to Dairy Queen: 1 cent.
• Wednesday the 29th I continued to raid my PCA money, this time in anticipation of my stripclubbin' that night.  An Infusion of: $100.
• After dropping off my sister at the airport I went to the Megamall to both take a nap and see some Hooters!  Many transactions happened here.  First, I found heads-up pennies on the floor.  Therefore, and Infusion of: 3 cents.
• Then I bought some shrimp ramen.  Not for me to eat; the strip club I was going to, My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version), has a coupon that knocks two bucks off the cover if you bring in a non-perishable food item.  It's part of the food drive they've headed for years.  Buying this does save me money overall.  Cost of the ramen: 59 cents.
• Cashed in on a small Northstar Cash ticket.  An Infusion of: $3.
• Hooters.  Waitress may not have had a set of tits, but she was showing off a barebelly uniform, and I love her pierced belly button.  Man, I would've so whipped out my dick ... if she didn't spend most of her downtime sitting with her friend, who was only kitty-corner from me.  With tip: $26.
• My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) -- you know, the one where my All-Time Favorite finally told me her real name?  Life can't be too bad if a stripper gives you her real name.  I spent all but three dollars on her -- the three dollars that was going to be the five-dollar cover charge to get in but for the coupon and shrimp ramen cup.  Cover, tips, and eight dances from ******a (it's usually at least ten, but I was broke -- and also, I didn't get tagged for a drink the hour I was there, thank God): $85.
• On Thursday the 30th I went to another stripclub.  Man, I need to tell you the story about this one.  Let's just say I got out of there under my own power before leaving under someone else's.  Cover, drinks, two-ish dances with this chick named Kara and absolute no tips (though extortion money might have changed hands): $56.
• Friday the 31st: More PCA money, an Infusion of: $50.
• I did not anticipate that my best friend, visiting family from Manhattan, would want to go to a stripclub.  But he did, and so I steered him once again to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition).  This allowed me to get two more dances from ******a to make it to ten dances from her -- even though I really couldn't spend the money.  With cover, Coke and tips: $37.
• Let's go on to September.  On Saturday the 1st, after seeing my USC Trojans crush Hawai'i, I went to Caffetto to relax and forget.  With tip: $1.50.
• Labor Day/Monday the 3rd.  Started the day by catching the special Gopher soccer game, which they won.  Program, hot dog and Coke: $8.50.
• Went to my second coffeeshop after the game; I needed to get online to participate in my fantasy football auction, and my computer didn't have the correct settings to get connected to the first one.  But I think the second one (which is close to the U.) was a lot cheaper.  Even with tip: 90 cents.
• Even though I got out later than I expected because I was hammering out my sports column, I did manage to make it to the Minnesota State Fair on its last day.  Man I ate so goddamn much ... and loved it!  The Walleye Roll (considered to be the best new food at the Fair, and they're right), poutine (man, why doesn't KFC make this?  I think it was given to me in a shallow KFC bowl), and another Minneapple Pie (this time with vanilla ice cream instead of cinnamon).  I regret that I didn't try the wine smoothie, which I hear was quite good.  Total: $19.25.
• But maybe this is a sign someone up above is looking out for me.  Whenever I go to the Minnesota State Fair I park in one of the satellite lots, board a coach and get bussed towards the Fairgrounds.  This time around, because I was at a coffee place close by, I park-and-rode from the U.  Coming back, one of the passengers in the seats across from where I was sitting gets up (there were three different spots this U. shuttle was going to drop off at).  Several seconds later, I see a crumpled-up $10 sitting between the seats.  My first instinct was to pounce on it, but there were lots of other people that were still in the bus and able to see me steal the money.  But when I looked around there weren't too many people, and those that were sitting down were talking to other people.  It looked as if no one noticed the $10.  So I proceeded to sit on the other side of the aisle and playing it off as just going into a space that no one was using instead of staying too close to the guy next to me.  And, without looking, I take the money and put it in my pocket.  I really don't think anyone was the wiser.  Hey, to the person who dropped it: Sorry and thanks.  By the time I saw your money I realized that I didn't even pay any attention to what you even looked like the 10-minute trip from the State Fair to our cars.  All I can say is is that I need as much money as possible.  An Infusion of: $10.

Fuck, I'm tired.  We're caught up through September the 3rd.