Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -5).  I had a feeling the Vikes could beat San Francisco last Sunday -- not because I thought they were the better team, but because shit happens in the NFL.  Nevertheless, kudos to the team for defeating what many felt was the best team in the league.  They started out fast, responded to the Niners' attacks, and got timely turnovers at the end of the game to seal the win -- a more-than-one-possession win, at that.

That would have been good even if they lost in Detroit, which I just assumed because, again, it's the NFL.  But they didn't.  They beat the Lions on the road, 20-13.  The game started on a kickoff return for touchdown by Percy Harvin and they never looked back.  Boy, Harvin is making an early case for Offensive MVP Of The Year.  The defense gave up a late touchdown campaign, but they locked the Lions down when they needed to drive all the way again to tie the game.

Two other players to give due recognition: Christian Ponder is getting to be a very good quarterback.  That arcing touch pass to Jerome Simpson on the final Vikings drive was a work of art.  And even though he missed the first field goal of his professional career, Blaine Walsh continues to impress.  He would be the MVP of the team if not for Harvin.

So shit, 3-1!  And they have a great chance to go 4-1 next week at home to The Bastard Houston Oilers.  Is this team for real?

#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -4).  Yeah, this is the bad thing about being late in doing the WMNSS overnight Sunday.  I was so tired that I immediately conked off after getting home around 3.  I woke up at 11:30, masturbated, refilled the fluids in my car, started doing my laundry and tried to sit down and watch football.  But at about 12:41, my folks came home, and My Father charged me to do some tasks around the house.  Tasks, by the way, that were totally unnecessary, tasks like raking leaves when most of them are still hanging on the trees.

So it's just about 3 now.  The Vikings game is just about over, meaning that I will have to talk about two games this survey and not one.  And that screws up next week's WMNSS because I will not have any Vikings game to talk about next week, so I'll have to drop them next week.  Come to think about it, this could affect the week after that because I might forget to put them back into the survey.  Three weeks of surveys affected, just because I didn't do this 12 hours ago.

That affected the U. soccer team.  If I did this half a day ago, I would have said the team went 2-0 to start the home portion of their Big Ten schedule.  But they were at Penn St. this (Sunday) afternoon, #8 Penn St.  It was a shootout, but the Goofs lost, 4-3.  The team actually started off with the lead in the 4th minutes on an own-goal, but the Nittany Lions responded with back-to-back tallies nine seconds apart in the 17th.  Katie Thyken scored to tie, but the Lions took the lead in the 27th and iced it in the 57th.

That loss wipes away two pretty gutsy performances by the side.  Taylor Wodnick scored eight minutes into the game at home to Michigan St. and the team made that stick for their first in-conference win.  Then, against Wisconsin, the Gophers wiped away a 2-0 lead with three second-half goals, the game-winner in the 88th minute (also courtesy of Wodnick), to beat the hated Badgers.

So the footballers stand at 2-3 in the B1G, 7-6 overall.  They play next at Robbie Stadium against Iowa, the second three-game homestand which actually will complete the home portion of their schedule.  And that match's on Sunday ... which means they will not appear on next week's survey, assuming that I will do it before the afternoon.  The ripple effects of doing this so late perpetuate. ...

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Just like the soccer team, the University of Minnesota volleyball team also went 2-1 for the screening week, the only loss being to ... goddamn ... Penn St.!

Last (Saturday) night I got to the Sports Pavilion late after working the Twins game.  Glad I didn't spend any money on programs, hot dogs or Cokes; I got there and the team was already down two sets and trailing the Nittany Lions in the third.  I was there, oh, 10 or 15 minutes, under what I think is the largest crowd I've ever seen watch a U. volleyball match.  And the Pav was packed to see their team get swept by the #1 team in the country, 23-8-20.  That is the first Big Ten loss for the club, after scoring a four-set win at Northwestern and kicking #22 Ohio St.'s ass in three earlier in the week.

Next up: They finish their four-game, two weekend homestand hosting Michigan Wednesday and Michigan St. Saturday.  Will the team go up or down from their #10 rank in the polls after this week?

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -3).  And speaking of the Twins ... last night showed why I can't pay to see these guys play anymore.  Somehow they kept it close against Detroit Tigers ace Justin Verlander.  But the relievers put two on, and Miguel Cabrera, a man pursuing the Triple Crown but was held hitless to begin the game, licked a meatball from Twins newbie Casey Fein into left, making a manageable 3-0 deficit into a 6-0 rout.  One of the guys working the production said all of us could see this coming.  He was right, even though I didn't believe it.

And yet they somehow made a game of it.  Ryan Doumit smacked a grand slam to make it 6-4, and in the 7th (?) inning the Twinks had runners on the corners and nobody out.  But the club was relying on the bottom third to bring home runs, and Tigers reliever Al Albuquerque managed to freeze another Twink call-up, Pedro Florimon, to end the inning and essentially end any chance for the team to make a comeback.

Pitching has been, by far, the worst part of the Twinks this year.  Starting pitching has been bad, but situational pitching has been worse -- as evidenced by Sunday's afternoon Target Field finale.  It was a sad, pathetic repeat of what the team did the game before.  They held a 1-0 lead late, but Jared Burton coughed up a two-out, two-run, go-ahead dong by Prince Fielder to give them the lead.  They just lost, 2-1, lost the series, 2-1, and evened their screening week at 4-4.

It'll be all over soon, folks ... the pain will be gone.  Three final games as they finish this woeful season, at Toronto.

#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -2).  A very disappointing 31-13 loss to Iowa to begin Big Ten play and ruin their perfect season. I really thought the team would beat the Hawkeyes, but it looked like they beat themselves in the first half, with turnovers and miscues.  And they couldn't stop this Weisman kid, who ran all over the Goofs.

I thought Max Shortell would fare better as a passer than MarQueis Gray.  But he only passed for 197 yards and threw three interceptions.  Maybe an 85% Gray is better than a 100% Shortell, at least this year.  Regardless, thoughts that the U. could take advantage of a down year and make a run at the Rose Bowl has been tamped down.  This team still has a long way to go.

Their next contest is the Homecoming game against Northwestern -- after they take their bye.  Oh shit, that's now three teams that fall off the WMNSS next week.  Oh well, I should look on the bright side: That's three less teams I have to write about.

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