So on Sunday I was at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) when one of the girls, one of the five-buck girls I no longer tip, was working. I had made it a principle to ignore her because, frankly, if I wasn't giving any money to her, there was no reason to even interact with her at all. She may or may not have been happy with that, but she maintained her distance. At least she didn't make something up in order to throw me out.
I had the waitress turn one of the TVs to the soccer game going on, the first time I've ever requested that and the first time I've seen them change the channel upon a customer's request. As I was getting into it I saw this five-buck girl -- well, actually a woman, a middle-aged woman with big natural breasts, kind of a round face and a smile that would be described as cute if she were a little girl -- stopped and looked at the TV.
She then proceeded to start having a conversation with me -- surprising since I've given her no money at all since she told me she only dances for five many, many months ago. But she abruptly changed the subject:
"Oh, which game are you watching? Ooh-ooh-ooh -- did you watch the (Stanley Cup) Finals? You're a L.A. Kings fan, aren't you?"
"Well," I said, "I thought the Rangers would win in seven."
"You're not a Blackhawks fan?"
"I lived in L.A. for a while."
"I love all the Chicago teams -- Blackhawks, Bears. ..."
"I noticed. Are you from Chicago?"
"No, I'm from here."
"So, why don't you root for Minnesota teams?"
"Because they suck and Minnesota fans are the worst bandwagon fans in the world."
Wait ... huh? We continue, although my paraphrasing is worse from this point forward because I was gobsmacked by what she said right here:
"Well, every team's fans have bandwagon fans."
"I know, but Minnesota's are worse. When they're winning they're all 'Yeaaaah!' but when they're losing they're all, 'Boooooooo!' you stick with your team no matter what."
"All fans are like that."
"Nope. ViQueens fans are the worst."
"But they're not. I don't understand. That doesn't make sense." Well, I should stop the conversation here. I don't know if I said this. I wish I would have gotten to this point, then maybe gotten to the next logical point, which was how does not liking a team's fans make you no longer root for that team. Why is she punishing the team because of its fans?
Whatever. She was about to go on-stage, and to her credit, she hugged me. At that point I had to confess that I didn't have five bucks to give her, and I think she said that was OK. But I have to admit: Her belief that Minnesota fans are the worst, and that she now hates Minnesota teams because of it, is pretty stupid.
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