And Now The Storage Unit Is Going To Be Under New Ownership

I dropped by my storage unit after My Fucking Parents went fuckin' crazy on me.  I wanted to rent a second storage unit long-term because My Fucking Parents are forcing me to take my shit out of the house.  And that's when I got hit with another haymaker: The guy who I was speaking with, who was caretaking the site along with his wife and dog, are being moved out.  The owners of the place have sold it to a local company.  And because of that, any new rentals are for this month only; the changeover occurs next month.

Goddammit.  This feels like one fucking thing on top of another, but even if My Fucking Parents hadn't gone crazy on me, this has become a huge fucking issue.  That's because the guy I spoke to on Tuesday believes this new company is going to jack up prices.  They might not allow me to buy a year in advance in order to get a brake on rates; they might go month-to-month, which apparently is the trend with storage unit companies these days.  Finally, I don't think these guys have a good reputation.  In fact, there is no reason these guys can't break the contract I have right now, which is that I have my unit paid through March.  They might blow it up, jack up my rate, and make me pay by month.

Since I got hit by this bad news, I have been scrambling, fucking scrambling, to find a new spot.  I realize that I had it really good with the place I'm at now.  I was able to lock in long-term rates, the money I spent on average is way less than quotes I'm seeing now, and the people who mind the area are nice and cool and easy to deal with.  There is no guarantee I can find anything similar.  And if these guys muscle me out of the unit I've had there for years and I don't have a backup lined up, I am so, so fucked.

First My Fucking Parents take everything I hold dear from me, and now I get kicked out of my storage unit?  Can't lie; this is really, really hard for me to deal with.

Addendum To: My Fucking Parents Are Fucking Psychos

What I truly hate about my parents, especially right now, is that they do things, and make me do things, with no advanced warning.  Yesterday, I was woken up by both My Fucking Mother and My Fucking Father to help them clean up my former bedroom, which, for some goddamn reason, is going to be the bedroom My Fucking Mother recuperates in when she gets knee surgery.  She says she can only go up the stairs after surgery and not down.  That's bullshit.

Anyway, even though this surgery hasn't even been scheduled yet, they both decided, out of the blue, that they're going to redesign it.  And that meant both shitty parental units woke me up to move heavy, heavy things around.  That was bad enough because I had a long day working a Gopher football Game.  But when My Fucking Father decided to bang his hammer to get the bedframe aligned, I sighed loud enough for My Fucking Mother to lose her goddamn mind.  "I do everything for you!  I cook and clean and give you beds!  And I ask you to do this one thing, and you get so mad!"  And I realized yesterday that she is a fucking toxic narcissist.  It has always been about her, her, her.  And after years of insulting me, acting hurt over shoving gifts in my face for which I didn't ask is the ultimate sign of mental manipulation.  And she and My Fucking Father tore my bags into shreds because they wanted to get into a locked part of my desk.  They call me unreasonable???

I don't bother arguing with either of them anymore because they can't speak English well enough to understand my nuanced emotional points.  Now, I don't bother arguing with them because they are too goddamn narcissistic to see how hypocritical dicks they are.  Fuck them both.  If they want to throw me out of the house for throwing my stuff on the floor, they have to kill me.  What assholes.

My Fucking Parents Are Fucking Psychos

My fucking parents made me clean my room, then they cleaned it themselves.  Their excuse was to give me a new bed.  I think they wanted me to remove all my stuff instead.

I would kill them if I knew how I would get away with it.

I got home and saw much of my shit thrown in the trash and the recycling bin.  Had to retrieve some of it, but goddammit, those retired motherfuckers cleaned me out so much I have to let things go.

But I had no idea how fucking crazy they are to clean everything.  They didn't tell me they wanted to move the desk around until yesterday morning.  That desk has a locked compartment.  I replaced the porn that was in there (thank Buddha) with the booze I kept around that I couldn't get around to finishing.  I was deathly scared that they would find a key and open it up.  And when I came home and Father asked for the key to that compartment (I lied to him and said I didn't have it), I was relieved they didn't get in but was scared that at some point they would be fucking crazy enough to try and find a key to get in.

So for the rest of the night I was trying to figure out a way to open the compartment without them knowing, then figuring out a way to get the booze into a bag, then sneak the booze out of the bag into my car and into storage.  I concluded that there was no way because they both have ears like the Bionic Woman and they would know that I do in fact have a key.

I had to go through my things because My Fucking Mother ordered me to, that bitch.  While I was going through them, I saw two torn-up bags.  These are the kind you get at the Fair, the light kind, made out of polyester or something, and they looked like a rabid got chewed through them.

I had to ask my fucking parents what happened.  They pulled the bags through that locked compartment in my desk.  They were so fucking determined to get into that compartment that they decided to fucking tear up bags.

That's not all.  They left for me several bags for me to go through.  I was going through two of them when I saw the bags.  Another one, that was out in the living room, was filled with the booze I put in that compartment.  I put those bottles in those bags, and these vicious motherfuckers were able to tear through the bags and pull out the bottles, and then put the bottles in the living room.

It goes without saying that this is a goddamn massive invasion of privacy.  They wanted to see what was inside my compartment that fucking badly?!  This reminds me of the time they came home from Vegas and didn't tell me.  Huh, I'm still fucking scarred after that.

I guess I can look on the bright side and note that they don't seem to care that I drink.  Whatever, man, these people are fucking psychotic, and they have respect no boundaries from me.

Not like I have before, but I can't trust these fucking people.  No goddamn way.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  Once again the Loons take the top spot largely because they usually play only one Match per Week.  But what a Match, and what a time for a Win to come.  MNUFC broke open a 1-1 halftime Tie with Goals by the workhorse Robin Lod and revelation Joaquin Pereyra to win at Real Salt Lake, 3-1.  That keeps United FC ahead of Vancouver for second in the West and just three Points behind san Diego for the lead.  But they get the top spot in this screening Week's WMNSS.

And yet this has been a tumultuous time for the Loons.  The Transfer Window is about to close up, and this may have been the most dynamic Transfer Window in the organization's history.  They signed five players, but appear to say goodbye to their Striker, Tani Oluwaseyi, who is on his way to La Liga Side Villarreal.  The Loons are getting about $8 million for Oluwaseyi, the most in Loons history for a transfer, so it was difficult to say goodbye.  But apparently he has always wanted to play in Europe, so he's getting his chance now.  Too bad he can't stay on loan through the end of the season here; he is one of the team's main goalscorers (obvi), and I am quite worried about my team's scoring punch once he heads across the pond.  By the way, a Turkish team named Trabzonspor wanted to acquire Pereyra, and for a really good price, but the organization said no.  For someone who plays Pereyra's spot, he has been quite valuable here, and unless United FC were blown away, it appears he is going to stay here.  Good news for the team and for Loons fans.

Host Portland Saturday night.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  Started out the week losing at a suddenly scary Atlanta outfit, 75-73 Thursday night.  They had to play the next night in Indiana, and they rebounded from their Loss (it helps that Caitlin Clark is still hurt) by defeating the Fever, 95-90.

They also played both Games without Napheesa Collier, who was still nursing her ankle injury.  She finally played in Sunday night's reverse fixture with Indiana, and damn, is she a revelation: 32 Points and nine Rebounds in a 97-84 blowout victory.  The Transitive Property makes you think that if the Lynx had Collier in the lineup, that Loss to the Dream would be a Win and that close victory over the Fever would be a blowout.  Best of all, Sunday's performance alone quieted all those who were lobbying for the MVP candidacies for Las Vegas' A'ja Wilson, Atlanta's Alisha Gray and Phoenix's Alyssa Thompson.

Minnesota leads Atlanta by six Games for The Best Record In The WNBA, so it looks like they have home-court in the bag.  They just now have to stay healthy as they host Seattle tomorrow/Thursday night, visit Connecticut Saturday night host Paige Bueckers and The Bastard Detroit Shock Labor Night.

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -4).  Routed Northern Illinois at Robbie Sunday afternoon, 4-0, which is real good, but dammit, that Loss to ten-player BYU back on the 14th still sticks out to me.  If you get rise above mid-major conferences, I still think this side will have problems.  So a result similar to the one against the Cougars might happen when the U. faces Marquette tomorrow/Thursday afternoon.  That ends their season-beginning four-Match homestand; Labor Afternoon they have their first true road Game when they play at Brown.

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -3).  I was driving around last/Tuesday night after my parents told me I had to wake up early this/Wednesday morning because they're bringing in a new bed for me.  I was not happy about that.  I, in fact, was pissed.  I just wasn't able to articulate why, and even though I had to visit my alumni game-watching bar, I used that trip as a reason why I am so mad.  I thought it was just I was told to wake up earlier in the morning than I already have to, which I don't like at all.  But I realized that I was told to clean up my room and do chores I didn't ask for on a day's notice.  Look, I could use a new bed, and hey, if they want to pay for it, I won't stop them.  But if you are telling me I have to rearrange my room (and this might be a backdoor plan by My Fucking Father to throw away my stuff) less than 12 hours after you tell me this news, goddammit, I am going to be pissed.  I can't even get a fucking day to process this shit?

So I was thinking all this while listening to the Twins on the radio sleepwalk their way to another Loss, this time in Toronto.  But avast!  A 4-3 deficit heading into the top of the Ninth Inning turned into a 7-4 lead, and new Closer Justin Topa was able to close it out!  Nice fight, Twins!

Unfortunately this capped off a 2-5 Week that includes a sweep at home courtesy of the (blank) Athletics and dropping two-of-three at the White Sox.  This team still ain't going anywhere.  After finishing up tonight/Wednesday night at the Blue Jays, they come home to host the Padres for three starting on Friday, then host the White Sox for four Games beginning Labor Afternoon.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (NEW SEASON!!).  Unlike my alma mater, at least the U. volleyball squad doesn't flinch against major competition.  The 11th-ranked Gophers started their Year participating in the AVCA First Serve tournament Monday night against ninth-ranked Texas A&M (?!) ... and unfortunately they fell in four Sets.

And these defeats to clubs supposedly as good as them are what scares me.  Despite the apparently sellout the entire program has for the season, I think there is a malaise that has settled on it.  They have yet to make it to the second weekend of the NCAA Tournament under Keegan Cook, and I'm not sure the players he has now can push them past that obstacle, let alone getting and winning a championship.  If it's another first weekend exit for the U., can they say that they're still a very good volleyball program?  I think not.

They host a tournament at Maturi Pavilion (although it's not the Diet Coke Classic) this weekend.  They play Cal Poly Friday, Ball St. Saturday and St. Thomas Sunday.  That should be three easy victories.

Did It -- Worked Half A Day!!!

It's been a general rule that Mondays are the most hectic for me at work, but that hasn't been true all the time.  But recently, with the staff shortages and the decisions to cut off work after such a time and, more importantly, saving up all the work from the weekend, lately that adage has become true -- with a vengeance, if that's even possible.

I don't know why, but there was a huge backup last week, the likes of which I don't think we have come out of.  But the company started to put their noses to the grindstone over the weekend and yesterday/Monday, so I was saddled with a shit ton of work.  So much so that I did what I once thought impossible but recently felt was inevitable: I stayed for 12 hours at work.  And the thing is, I'm still behind.  There was so much damn work I had to catch up on over the weekend, plus all the new stuff that the lab was able to catch up on yesterday/Monday, that I just had to leave with most of it untouched.  There were many replies I simply didn't get to.  I did the most important thing, namely looking at every new form that came across my path.  After that?  Heh, I only had time to do so much.

I cannot put it past my boss that he will blow a gasket over me staying half a day.  It feels almost like it's against company policy to work that much.  Then again, he asked me to come in to work Sunday, and he was open-ended about both when I could come in and for how long I could work.  This might be an indication that he knows that there's a shit ton of work to catch up on, so overtime might not just be allowed, might not just be accepted, but in fact required to get back on track.  If that's the case, well, I'm just doing my part.

And the damndest thing of all is I might have to pull another half-day today/Tuesday.  I am going to come to work already behind because of all the e-mails I had to leave from yesterday/Monday.  And I still think there's a bunch of stuff in the lab they need to plow through.  Being behind the 8-ball from the jump, plus getting more work during the day than I usually would?  Man, I could be in for a repeat long day.  But hopefully my boss won't get on my case for that, either.

RIP Car (For Real For Real)

OK, so on Thursday, apparently the tow truck driver called Father, but he didn't pick up because he doesn't answer calls from phone numbers he is not familiar with, which is completely understandable.  But the driver apparently was outside the house when he called, and since Father didn't answer, he drove off.

I got around to calling to ask what's up, and they rescheduled for today/Monday.  This time I added my phone number as a back-up in case My Father didn't pick up again.  But this failsafe probably means that the car is going to be taken away, from my life, for real now.  And so, because this is the last last last time, yesterday/Sunday afternoon (before I headed off to overtime at work and then to Palmer's and downtown) I did my OCD ritual of sitting in all four seats of my old car, touching everything inside the car, taking five deep breaths, and mediating (or trying to meditate) for 70 seconds before moving on.  I've done this three times now, and I try to give it the reverence it deserves.  They're hauling away my first love and my means of freedom for so long, after all.  But at this point, frankly, this feels similar to all the talk leading up to Grandmother being forced to leave the house for the memory care home.  I hated doing it, but deep down I knew it was the right thing to do, and going through the trauma of anticipating losing someone (in this case something) so near and dear to me has worn me down to the point where I just want it to be fucking over.  In a way that's giving up, and I hate it, but it feels like it's time.  Well, it was supposed to be time on Thursday, but I'm sure that today really is time.  Maybe.

Went to the Fair again (second of four, hopefully) last/Saturday night.  Yeah, the babes continue to be out in force, thank the Lord.

I did not go out to Palmer's last Sunday after all.  I just couldn't see myself transferring from the light rail to the bus that was there because of light rail construction.  So I am taking yet another shot at seeing him tonight.  It's weird going out this time of year and not go to the State Fair, I'll be honest.  That's the gravitational pull of the Fair.  But there are only three more Sundays to see him before Palmer's shuts down, and the ensuing Sundays will only get more packed.

Funny: I had never even heard of Cornbread Harris playing (for free) every Sunday at Palmer's until my friend, who I wanted to see all summer but couldn't until last month, told me about it.  She is the one, in fact, who suggested we go.  But for the past few Sundays, when I said I would be going, I asked if she was going and she said she couldn't.  So I am now enthusiastic for something another person suggested, and now that person won't be going.  Ironic, isn't it?

Can't Find The Time To Get My Eyes Checked

It's been two years, and sometimes I feel as though I have the wrong prescription, so for the past couple months (off and on), I have tried to make an appointment to get my eyes checked.  But the place I went to the last couple times appears to have closed.  I could go to another eye place at the mall close by me, but they don't seem to have a good time for me to come in, at least not for the next week and a half.  Also, and maybe I should expound on this in another blog post, things have gotten really, really bad at the mall close by me, and it makes me think I don't want to go there anymore.  So, I have checked into dates and times at another mall, one close by my work, but the earliest ones come in the workweek -- not in the late afternoon or evening but during the afternoon, when I'm, you know, at work.  There are weekend times, but I don't want to go all the way out there just to come back to eat.

With summer just about gone, I am feeling some urgency to get this done.  I did pay for vision insurance this year, after all.  Hope to find a good date and time soon.

Addendum To: My Fucking Father Is Really, Really Pissing Me Off Right Now

My Fucking Father didn't tell me to clean my room or take a shower last/Friday night.  Probably happy that I came home straight from work.

He's still controlling, uncomfortably so for someone who thinks he can still boss people around.  But there is one thing this week that is a good idea.  I have about two dozen baseball caps, and even though I have a hat rack, it can't fit all of them on it.  Also, you need these plastic clamps to hang them, and a lot of them have gotten too loose to hold up a hat.  So what I have done, for the longest time, is just throw them onto the drawer where I put all my shorts and t-shirts and pajamas and stuff.  It takes up a lot of space, but really, I didn't want to think about where or how else to arrange my caps.

One day this past week I came into my room and saw that nearly all of my caps were hung up on my hat rack.  I knew My Fucking Father infiltrated my bedroom again.  But I have to admit that he did something that was ingenious.  Do you know those clothes hangers that are clips on both ends?  He took a half-dozen of them, hooked my hats in them, then hung them on the rack.  Now, he hung them by the brims and not by the crowns (you're supposed to "fold" the baseball hats so that the back of them invert and fold in behind the front), plus he hung a couple hats on a couple of the hangers instead of just one, which is my preference, and my hat rack is now bursting with caps that still look sloppily arranged.  But after making sure two of my hats are hung on each hanger and that they're all hooked the right way, only four of them are still just thrown on my drawer.  I gotta say that My Fucking Father came up with something very, very clever.

He's still invading my privacy, though.

My Fucking Father Is Really, Really Pissing Me Off Right Now

It might be because I am gone for dinner so many nights lately and I have told my parents that the reason is I'm going out with friends, but My Fucking Father is back to telling me what to do.  He has frequently told me, once I get home, to take a shower and go to sleep.  He has gone out of his fucking way to do that.  And now he has gotten back to telling me whenever he can that I should clean my room.

Those repeated annoyances trigger me, no doubt.  But I have also seen another instance of, I guess, his OCD that I take as a sign of his wish to control me.  Every time I have come home, from work or an afternoon out, I see that he has straightened out the bath towel.  I never do, and yet it is always straight.  He's done this more or less since they came home, but I have not seen him be this militant about straightening the towel until now.

I really don't know what's fucking gotten into him.  But this motherfucker can get under my skin like nobody's business, and he knows it.  Hey, it's easy to do because he's My Fucking Father.  So, to fight back, I just ... won't do anything.  Hey, he wouldn't be repeating himself telling me to do things if he isn't triggered, either.  So let's trigger each other, OK?

Goddamn, when is he fucking leaving?

RIP Car (For Real)

My Fucking Father is really pissing me off right now, but I'll blog post his bitch ass tomorrow.  But for now, I really need to talk about my old car.

OK, I finally got around to arranging the tow.  They are coming to take my first love away today/Thursday.

I have done my ritual farewell to it three times now, the last being last/Wednesday evening.  I sat on all four seats (passenger-side rear, driver-side rear, passenger-side front, driver-side front), did five deep, meditating breaths, and tried to calm my mind for a minute while on each seat.  I also tried to touch every part of the car -- the shades, the leather of the seats, the back of the seats, the ashtrays (I don't think I ever used the car lighter once), the vents, the radio, the turn signal, the glove compartment, the side compartment, the cup holders, the gas cap -- everything.  I opened up the hood and the trunk.  And I made sure everything that should be taken out is.  I left the owner's manual and the tire change equipment and the license plates.  And I found a dime in the glove compartment.

The car is not as tall as I thought, nor is it as tall as my current car.  It is a sedan, but I'm still surprised I have to worry about banging my head against the underside of the car.  But it is roomy; I never had any problem with leg room, either when driving or, rarely, the times I was riding shotgun or in the back.

I wanted to note all this, the touching and the smelling and the seeing and the memories that flood back (once again they're all bad even though I know I had many, many good years of driving the car with no problems, I just can't recall them) one last time before it's taken away.  I hope I've said goodbye properly.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -3).  There remains not a whole lotta rizz (am I using that right?) regarding the Loons.  But that boredom isn't justified by the facts in evidence.  I had low hopes heading into Saturday's Match at home against the Sounders, a team that they finally beat in Seattle for the first time in history.  I was afraid that recent bad form would do MNUFC in.

But hey, by dint of a Joaquin Pereyra cross that everybody thought was going to be knocked around the box but instead landing past Seattle's Goalkeeper and in, United FC in fact swept the Sounders this Year (for the first time ever, obvi).  Couple that with Vancouver blowing a 1-0 lead to a Goal to Houston conceded in the 97th Minute, and the Loons are now in second place in The Western Conference, one Point ahead of the Whitecaps.  Moreover, there is finally some movement in the Transfer Window, as MNUFC is signing Austrian Winger Dominik Fitz, a player Minnesota and other Major League Soccer teams were looking at.  The Transfer Window isn't close yet ... but while United FC might be signing, there are reports that other teams higher up the food chain are looking into grabbing Pereyra or Tani Oluwaseyi.  I hope they can be loaned back to Minnesota for the rest of the season.

They're in Salt Lake City Saturday.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  They finish 2025 going 3-1 against The New York Liberty.  They played the Libs their past three tilts, destroying them in Brooklyn by a dozen, surviving them in a thriller at Target Center Saturday afternoon on free national television, but then succumbed to a Liberty squad trying to stave off a sweep last/Tuesday night, 85-75.  I guess you can say that if Napheesa Collier were playing (and what bad timing that both Phee and Breanna Stewart were hurt; this condensed season series had to have been built on their appearances, so this must be an incredibly frustrating turn of events for the WNBA), the Loss would be a Win and the Wins would be blowouts.  Yeah, I'll take that for now, as well as the fact the Lynx remain in the driver's seat for home-court advantage throughout the playoffs.

They have to worry about their next contest, at surging Atlanta tomorrow/Thursday night.  They then play a home-and-home (first away then home) versus the injury-ravaged Indiana Fever.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  Went 2-4 this past screening Week, with many of the past series being ones where they dropped all but the last Game.  It's become a dispiriting pattern that makes you think the other team knows it can beat the hell out of the Twinks, but they wanted to show mercy by giving them the last one.

With all that said, there has been stray, random accomplishments by those left behind.  And that's the problem: There is enough effort and success you can see in the youngsters that are getting all this playing time to believe that hey, maybe the future is brighter since all that talent was traded away.  And then you see The Bastard Seattle Pilots, situated in the smallest metropolitan area in Major League Baseball with a bottom-third payroll, currently owning The Best Record In MLB.  The problem is that, while in theory every club in pro baseball has a chance of winning The World Series (and I believe that there is more competitive balance than in the nineties when The New York fucking Yankees were fucking winning everything), you have to take into account the skinflint ways of the Pohlad family, as well as the weaselspeak they employed when, after months of saying they want to sell the team, basically said "Psyche!" and pulled it off the market.  They then released a statement that the passion Twins fans who decided to remain is one they share.  Bullshit.  They are going to trade Joe Ryan in the offseason and the cupboard won't be any barer than it will be by then.

Ryan, by the way, took the Loss in last/Tuesday night's 6-3 doubling up (at home) by the (blank) Athletics.  The announced attendance was around 23,000, which is about 24,000 more people than the Twinks deserve.  Are those people loyal, or are they suckers?  Or are they loyal suckers?

After finishing up at home vs. The Bastard Philadelphia/Kansas City/Oakland Athletics, they will in Comiskey against the White Sox over the weekend, then cross the border to play Toronto for three starting on Monday.  Hope the Latino players make it back!

#-4: Gopher soccer (NEW SEASON!!).  This should be a make-or-break season for Head Coach Erin Chastain.  And while they romped over St. Thomas at Robbie Stadium Sunday night, 3-0, I can't get over their season-opening defeat (also at home) to BYU Thursday night.  The Match was scoreless until, in the 30th Minute, the Cougars' Avery Frischknecht was given a Red Card for what I guess was a pretty brutal Tackle while the Gophers were attacking.  Not on the end of that attack but on a subsequent one about three Minutes later, a Cross to Caroline Birdsell gave the U. a 1-0 lead.

But in the Second Half, BYU scored not once, not twice, but thrice, and they won going away on the road, 3-1.  Remember, the Cougars were down to ten players but managed to score three times and win comfortably.  I'm sorry, but that not only is inexplicable, but it's fucking inexcusable.  You have the man advantage and not only can't you beat the other team, but you allow that ten-player side to score three on you???  What the fuck?!

These Goofers host Northern Illinois, the third of a four-Match homestand, Sunday afternoon.

#-Infinity: Aurora (Re-Entry!).  Oh, I need to give some raspberries to Minnesota Aurora FC, the local semi-pro women's soccer team, before it gets too late.  About a Month ago, they lost in the Semifinals of the USL-W playoffs to Utah United, 1-0.  Get this: This organization has never lost a Match in the regular season ... and they have never won a championship.  That's the goddamn motherfuckingest Minnesota sports team bullshit I've ever fucking seen.

I threw in some money when the Aurora was born.  I was there in Eagan when they hosted the title Game their first Year in existence.  They blew a Penalty Kick that would have put them in the lead late into Extra Time; little did we know at the time that that would be an echo of Gary Andersen's missed kick.  And then I saw them allow a Goal from, like, 30 Yards away.  I immediately got up and marched towards my car because I goddamn knew they just fucking blew their shot at winning a title.  I was right, and I am still glad I had the good sense to escape before the parking lot was backed up with thousands of stunned chumps.  So I gladly disown this perennially underachieving bunch of losers right now.  Fuck them all.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: July 2025

I have to be honest with you: This may be the most disappointing month I have ever seen in a Hooters calendar.  Of the ten women whose pictures are here, I can only single out two of them for distinction, and both of them have drawbacks that, in a month with better photos, would push them down the pecking order.  And frankly, I could have had this calendar up for the whole 31 days of July and still come to this unfortunate conclusion.  There just aren't enough sparks there.

With that being said:

In second place, and I just decided to change my mind on her, is Caitlin, from North Tampa, Fla.  Long, straight-ish brown hair, she's wearing a white one-piece bikini whose front comprises of pieces of fabric tied together with string.  She is touching the ends of the string like she is tightening up the front of the bikini, which is kind of a strange look because I would prefer her to be loosening up the bikini.  But, she has piercing eyes and has a fit figure to kill for.

And in first place is Aria, of Sarasota, Fla.  Straight blonde hair, she is wearing a blue two-piece with what looks to be flowers.  I see "looks to be" because she is photographed lying down on sand with her elbows and knees kind of propping her up.  We don't get to see her full body, which is a demerit.  However, I can see her backside.  Not all of it, which is another demerit, but I can see that her bikini bottom is almost a thong.  If she were directly facing away from the camera, we would see about 95% of her nice ass.  The way she is posed, we can still see a lot of it.  And that's enough for her to grab the top spot.

So congratulations to Aria and to Caitlin.  Underwhelming as though July '25 may be, I will take time to touch myself to both of them as soon as I have the time.

Wow, My Fucking Father Is Being An Asshole Again

Lately he's been telling me to take a shower.  A couple weeks ago he told me ordered me to take one every night.

It seems as if every time I come home late, My Fucking Father's in the kitchen eating something.  That fucking sucks because if he's up there, he has told me to take a shower.  And he did so tonight, after I came home from the concert.  And I don't know why it's this time what he said infuriated me.  Maybe this was the last straw, or maybe it was a follow-on from earlier in the day when he kept shoving apples in my face telling me to eat them.  But I tried escaping to the bathroom to avoid him saying it, and I don't know why I did that, because he blurted out, "OK, go take a shower and go to sleep."

Thing is ... I just took a shower.  I was kind of stinky today -- just a tad, but I helped My Fucking Father move chairs out of my parents' minivan, I walked from parking at one end of St. Paul to the X at the other, and on my way back I walked through a pretty heavy rainstorm.  I really, really wanted to disobey My Fucking Father and just go to bed ... but I feel pretty fresh now, to be honest.  No, it's Father asserting control again just because he wants to.  I can't let him have that, even if he got me this time -- and I have to admit, part of me showering just now is me giving to him.

I can't wait for them to leave.  Fuck it, I can't wait for My Fucking Father to die.  Controlling asshole.

Now This Is Best Laid Plans Ruined

So I am looking up light rail times because I plan on taking the Green Line from St. Paul to Palmer's, like I said I would.  And goddammit, light rail service is shut down for a good part of the route from Cedar-Riverside.  So if I am going to pull off this plan, I have to either just take this replacement but to take me the rest of the way to Palmer's and then start off my way back eastbound on this replacement bus, or drive to Palmer's and then to downtown St. Paul.  The former sounds really hectic because I don't know where this bus will drop off or pick up, plus this is another transfer for which I have to worry about time.  The latter ruins my plans of parking before the Nine Inch Nails crowd in St. Paul, or I will probably have to duck out early (while they are playing the hits) to catch the last light rails out of downtown.

Wow, this fucking sucks.  I need a nap to figure out what I am going to do.

Nine Inch Nails Concert

So I just bought a ticket to the Nine Inch Nails concert.  I've complained in the past about finding the perfect time to buy a ticket -- buy too early and I might be paying more than I should, wait it out and get shut out altogether.  Well, I just got a ticket for $36.15 through SeatGeek.  Nine Inch Nails last toured more than three years ago and they're shopping their newest music, which is not a new album but the soundtrack for the latest Tron film.  Are those the reasons I bought this for about $20 cheaper than face?

I am looking forward to tonight.  As tired as I said I was in my last blog post -- and I am -- I look forward to the challenge of doing two music concerts on the same night ... which, I just realized as I brushed my teeth, I did just a fortnight ago.  (But back on the 2nd I went from The Dakota to First Avenue; here, I'm going from Cedar-Riverside to downtown St. Paul, so that will be an added challenge.)  I look forward to seeing my friends -- one at Palmer's, then at least one of my high school buddies at NIN.  I believe there will be more because we all were listening to The Downward Spiral our senior year.

You know what I am not looking forward to?  Well, Trent Reznor & Co. are supposed to end their show by around 10:40, and tomorrow/Monday I have to work, so that won't be fun.  Also, I took a look at the band's setlist.  They're not ones to change it up, and though it looks as if Nine Inch Nails will play the hits at the end like most bands do ("Hurt" looks to be the last song, and there doesn't seem to be an encore, BTW), there isn't the spontaneity from changing up the setlist that, I feel, makes the show I go to a special one because it isn't quite like all the others.  But I have to confess: Besides the hits, I am not familiar with NIN music.  Come to think of it, I'm not much of a Nine Inch Nails fan.  So, why did I buy a ticket then?  To say I saw them in an arena?  To park for free in St. Paul?

Well, I am seeing these guys for a bargain.  That ain't bad.

I'm Too Bleepin' Busy

Work is one thing.  But when I have free time after work, only for me to do other "fun" things every single day, that "fun" stuff ain't fun no more.

Case in point, the next several days:

• I have to work a Game this/Saturday afternoon in Minneapolis, plus there's an MNUFC Match in the evening I need to go to.  And I will have a couple hours to kill, so I figure I can go to a brewery, drink a beer, and work on my fantasy football stuff, which I should have sent out at least a couple weeks ago.
• Tomorrow/Sunday I get to sleep in (if my parents don't fuckin' wake me up in the goddamn morning), but I am supposed to go out to Palmer's to see Cornbread Harris in one of his final residencies before the place closes next month.  I figure it's better to see him now than one the final ones in September because I'm guessing it'll be really crowded after Labor Day.  On top of that, there's the Nine Inch Nails concert at the X in St. Paul.  I'm not a huge fan, but I still want to see him.  Moreover, many of my friends from high school love NIN, and for that reason I want to see if there's a ticket at a non-unreasonable price available.  Harris's concert is from 5 to 7; the arena show doesn't begin till 7:30, and who knows when Trent Reznor & Co. hit the stage.  So my plan, assuming I get a Nine Inch Nails ticket, is to drive all the way to downtown St. Paul in the afternoon to get a free spot (thank Buddha St. Paul doesn't enforce meters on Sundays), take the light rail westward to Palmer's, and then take it back eastward to see NIN.  Sounds like a plan ... a very long and busy one.
• I've realized that work on Mondays will be the longest just because the work in the departments I work in aren't usually worked on over the weekend.  Therefore, wherever I am, I have to deal with the work that came in Saturday as well as Sunday and, possibly, that Monday morning.  On top of that, I have gotten kind of tired of going home real late and seeing all the food my parents left for me.  It's usually a lot, and despite them repeatedly saying I don't have to eat it all, they're a bunch of damn liars, and I have to eat it all.  Finally, my wellness screening at work is Thursday, so the less shit I eat, the better.  With that being said, after work Monday I plan on going to Hooters because I have a calendar coupon where I buy ten boneless wings and get another ten for free.  But I will not drink pop.
• I have Tuesday and Wednesday off because I need to block off time to do some extra exercising before the screening.  I need to work out in the worst way.  But I will do that after eating dinner with my parents where I can control my portions.  Tuesday afternoon I plan on seeing ****e for a visit (if you know what I mean), and Wednesday I want to ... well, eat somewhere.  That and maybe hunt for this tool Mother wants me to find.
• Thursday's the start of The Minnesota State Fair, and assuming I get out at a decent time (and assuming I can find free parking somewhere), I will start my day getting my screening at work, then work, then going to The Great Minnesota Get-Together.  I love going to the Fair, but right now, that entire day seems daunting to me.

So next Friday will be my next "boring" day, where I just go to and from work.  Things might actually slow down next weekend.  But that's next weekend.  These next seven days are so might be too hectic for me to have any fun.

Can't Face It, Too Painful

From time to time, I am sent into the laboratory to cut open packages and reach into specimens that have leaked urine.  I have spoken from time to time of how those instances of trauma have shaped me to being the cynical, defeated creature I am.  (Seriously, it's not normal to reach into anything and touch piss.)  But there is one saving grace, however indirect it may be, it's that it spares me from listening to The Stephanie Miller Show on SiriusXM.

Don't get me wrong -- if I'm at my desk, I listen to it.  I find it entertaining and, of course, informative.  OK, to be fair, it's informative in the sense that the news is filtered and slanted in a way that I like, and is therefore digestible.  However, since Trump and the Republicans once again cheated to win last year's elections (don't fucking argue with me, they cheated and you MAGAts know it), the news, despite going to media that conveys that news in a way where I don't scream in horror, has been universally infuriating and depressing.  So much so that, in keeping with advice in the wake of evil cheating to win back in November, I have practiced self-care.  And that means that I no longer exclusively tune in three hours every morning to listen to Stephanie Miller.  My blood pressure explodes whenever I hear the next illegal, immoral thing this administration does.  I know I need to keep up with what's going on, but if I do so I will go insane, and my health and sanity will suffer.

So, from time to time, I don't listen to political radio.  I admit that, when I fire up SiriusXM on my work computer, I look to see if there's a song playing on another radio station that I like, and if I do I will listen to that before I eventually mosey on over to SiriusXM Progress.  And, on days where I am cutting, I take some solace in not having the opportunity to listen to Miller and potentially get real pissed off over what I hear over the course of the show.  It may be sad that I have to disengage in order to keep peace in my life.  It kind of feels like the bad guys are winning when I do that.  But I have to.  And besides, there are usually four other mornings during the workweek where I am informed about what deplorable BS Republicans are pulling that day.  I still keep up.

Some Things Shouldn't Be Done On A Phone

I have trouble -- maybe not old man trouble, but Gen X trouble -- typing on a phone.  It's the second most-frequent thing you do on a cell (behind scrolling I reckon), but I am permanently fixing my errors because my fingers are too fat for the small keys, and autocorrect somehow takes those errors and thinks, "Hmmm, based on what you typed, when you say 'got a good time' you mean 'I love MAGAts'" or some shit.

What I am worried about is doing more and more important things on a phone.  I am not comfortable, for example, having anything to do with any bank accounts I have on my cellphone.  I have gotten over loading my credit card information onto it, but having my money that accessible is a bridge too far for me.  I could easily lose my phone, or I could easily have it hacked and emptied of all my money.  Why would anyone pay like that?  Sorry, that's just me.

The annoyance of typing on a small device has been married with my fear of losing my personal information now that I have to onboard myself to a human resources company through my phone.  I need to do that in order to work Saturday, but I was completely caught off-guard that I need to do this, and it looks as though I can only do this through my cell.  I have had to put in my name and address a few times, and now I have to upload a voided check and an image of my passport.  Really?  Through my cellphone?  That doesn't seem to be a smart thing to do, and I have to do all this important stuff while not making a keying error.

Worst of all, I somehow have a deadline.  I need to do all of this today.  And check this out: I have a Zoom meeting I need to "attend" before I can get this all done so I can work.  A Zoom to do HR stuff?  Let me guess -- it'll be some AI bot I have to talk to, right?

God, technology is going to lead humanity to ruin.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Want to note that this is the nadir to the Twin Cities sports calendar.  The college season starts with women's soccer Thursday, and it'll just be more teams from here until April or so.

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  If there is a theme to this Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, it's vibes.  There are a lot of, um, auras (aurae?) coming from each of the local teams playing, and they seem to be distinct from each other.

And by far the best vibes/aura is coming from the Lynx who, even without talisman Napheesa Collier, are acting like the Borg and conquering anything getting in their way.  They've run their winning streak to five Games, going 2-0 this screening Week with Wins over Washington Friday (albeit by four at home to a spunky club that has a foundation in place) and at New York Sunday afternoon in a much-anticipated Finals rematch from a Year ago that lost its luster because both Collier and the Liberty's Breanna Stewart weren't playing.  That showdown turned into a blowout as the Lynx once again used the Third Quarter to turn a Halftime deficit into a 83-71 laugher.  Best of all, with Indiana losing at home to The Bastard Detroit Shock last/Tuesday night, the Lynx have clinched their (inevitable) playoff spot.

Everybody's contributing to their success right now.  Alanna Smith in particular had a ridiculously even stat line in the victory over New York City.  But Dijonnai Carrington seems to have unlocked everything with this squad.  Her Defense is already impressive, but it's her Offense (both slashing into the paint and jacking up threes) is that other weapon that will help when the others either are getting doubled up or are having a bad shooting day.  I don't want to hex the Lynx because they haven't won diddly-squat yet, but Carrington might be the missing piece.

The final two of three straight contests with the Liberty happen Saturday afternoon (at Target Center) and Tuesday evening (back in Brooklyn).  Note that even though Minnesota plays the Liberty three times in a row, New York does not play the Lynx three times in a row -- after Sunday they went out west to play (and beat) Los Angeles last/Tuesday night and will play in Las Vegas tonight/Wednesday night before visiting the Lynx on Saturday.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Meanwhile, the vibes/aura around the Twinks ... well, if you want to be charitable, it's been a rollercoaster.  While they were skidding a bit after their fire sale, they started off the week winning the series at Division-leading Detroit, then came home to win two-of-three versus Kansas City.  Sunday's 5-3, 11-Inning Win was a highlight.  First, Ryan Fitzgerald, a Minor League lifer, was finally called up to The Show and, in his first Major League at-bat, hit a Home Run.  Then, Luke Keaschall, who is becoming the life force Twins fans who are still believing might rally around, ended the Game with a two-Run home to right-center.

The Twins have been playing well since the Trade Deadline.  But then, they went to the Bronx to play The New York Yankees and, alas, they once again assumed the role of Yankees' bitches, losing 6-2 Monday and 9-1 last/Tuesday night.  The Twinks were no-hit after scoring their solitary Run in the First Inning.  Goddamn, is this organization going to do something against this form of systemic oppression?

The Yankees will finish them off tonight/Wednesday night, then Minnesota heads off to four for the weekend before a three-Game set with the (Sacramento but you're not supposed to say that) Athletics beginning Tuesday.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: -2).  And while the vibes/aura might be worse with the Twins, I think that surrounding the Loons is just stinky.  After flying high for so long throughout the season, MNUFC are now on a three-Match losing streak encompassing all competitions.  The more dispiriting Loss came last/Wednesday in Leagues Cup Group Stage play.  All United FC had to do was win (hopefully in regulation so they could bag all three Points) vs.  Atletico de San Luis, a franchise I consider to be The Pittsburgh Pirates of Liga MX.  They were eliminated from Knockout Stage play, so I assume they rotated in guys off the bench to give them some experience.  Well, they experienced kicking the Loons' asses because they made their opportunities count, defeating MNUFC 2-0 and eliminating them from the glory of winning an astro-turfed tournament.

The scoring constipation continued Sunday evening.  The Colorado Rapids are merely a good team fighting to stay in playoff contention.  But due to blown defensive assignments and Dayne St. Clair not being the uber-Goalkeeper he has been at some points during the Year, Colorado fired two in before registering this upset at Allianz Field, 2-1.  All of a sudden United FC appears to have trouble putting Goals in the net, and while the sky isn't truly falling yet (they're still third in the West and could have catapulted past Vancouver into second if they won on Sunday), both defeats this past Week were blown chances to take a step toward achievements of some worth.

Host nemesis Seattle Saturday night.

Man, If I Lose Work Because Of This ...

Earlier this summer I was asked to work two Games, one back in June and one coming up on Saturday.  I said I could do both.  I was told that the August Game (the one coming up on Saturday) may have a follow-up confirmation, just in case, but in my mind, I already said yes, I could do it.

Flash to yesterday/Monday.  I am getting a tad nervous.  I sometimes have not been given schedules and call times until two days before the day of the Game, but considering how much junk mail comes through my inbox, there is a chance that something I need to see gets overlooked.  So I just did a search in my inbox ... and there was an e-mail from the production company confirming (actually re-confirming) that I can still work on Saturday.  And unfortunately, she sent that e-mail back on the 30th.

I want to think I've built up enough of a track record whereby they know I am trustworthy to do any gig I agreed to two months in advance.  But I also know that I am an at-will employee, and this job I agreed to can be yanked from me for any reason, or for no reason.  It is completely possible that after a dozen days after she sent an e-mail, and with the Game approaching at the end of the week, she could've gotten nervous and gave my gig to someone else.  And I would absolutely hate that, I really would.

Guess I'll know some time today if I have work taken from me because I didn't see an e-mail in time.

Fasting Before Screening Starts In The Morning, I Guess

I have my workplace health screening in about ten days.  To make sure I meet enough of the metrics that will get me a price break on my health insurance, I thought I would get healthier in the lead-up.  I thought I would ease up on my pop, eat less and work out a little more.

Well, last/Sunday night, after the MNUFC Loss (oof, BTW), I was going to go to the Culver's across the street from Allianz Field, buy and eat a Deluxe Burger there, maybe get either a salad or a mashed potatoes and gravy and drive to BlackStack Brewing to eat that and chase it with a beer.  But then I remembered that STEPCHLD, a place I've eaten twice before, was going to close in a couple weeks.  I thought that I would make an evening out of it, but I figured that I could go to BlackStack Saturday inbetween the Lynx and United FC Games, and maybe I should go to STEPCHLD instead.

It closes at 9 on Sundays and the Match got out at 7, but I made it there with enough time to eat wings ... and then a burger and fries.  I ate the wings the first time I was there and the burger and fries the second time, and both were fantastic.  And I don't know if I will get another chance to eat at STEPCHLD again.  So even though the bowl of wings was more than enough, just in case, I got the burger and fries, too.  It was getting sketchy there at the end, but I ate the burger and fries with little difficulty.  And oh, after I downed my glass of orange wine I ordered alongside the wings, I bought a Mexican Coke to go alongside the burger and fries.

Good thing my screening isn't tomorrow.  And again, I had to do it in order to honor a place that had really good food.  But my plan on getting into shape will have to wait until morning at least.  Whoops.

So My Father asked me to help him find where the spark plug is on the snowblower, even though 1) he didn't ask me to help him find that before, so I assumed he knew where it was and 2) it's summer so who cares.  But I had time before going to the soccer Match, so I wanted to help him.

Little did I know he roped me into doing other shit.  After I showed him the disassembled housing to show him where the spark plug is, he wanted me to mow the lawn.  I looked at the lawn; it didn't need mowing.  But he wanted me to do it ... but first, it was time to put the new belt onto the mower.  We (well, he; I just stood on the handle to keep the front side lifted up so Father could work on getting the worn out belt loose) worked on that for between 60-75 minutes before we (actually I) got the new belt in ... but Father said he needs to find a screw before he can completely put it back together.

And then, dammit, we went back to the snowblower, which was still disassembled.  He wanted to take out the spark plug, but it took us half an hour to do so -- but, Father noticed that the spark plug was completely unscrewed, so it is very possible Father managed to unscrew the thing, like, five minutes in but he didn't even notice.  Whatever.

So he makes me look at the spark plug.  "So," I said, "You want me to buy it now?"  And Father replied, "No, whenever you want.  You have to go somewhere, don't you?"  What was this all for if he didn't want to complete the job right then and there?  Where was the urgency in all of this, and why was now nothing at all urgent once we did only part of the work on the mower and the snowblower?  He said he wanted me to take a look at what model spark plug it was.  But I already knew.

So now, Father doesn't need me to mow the lawn because, I guess, it doesn't work.  Or maybe he wanted to jerk my chain all along and just wanted to have some father-son time, or something?

Anyway, I need to take a nap before going to the Game.  Don't know what this was all for.

My Quick Trip Over The Border Was Both Fun And Unnecessary

So I told you all about my plans on going to Wisconsin yesterday/Saturday.  Yeah, a lot of it didn't go as planned.

My phone woke me up at 11.  I was prepared then to across the border to begin my afternoon around that area.  But I checked my texts and saw that *****y, who on Friday wanted to push our session back two hours now wanted to see if I could come today/Sunday.  I have plans to work on donating my car and then going to the United FC Match.  Also, and more importantly, *****y has flaked on me like this in the past, and I was in no mood to accommodate her.  So, we cancelled.  Well, actually, we postponed, but I don't know when the hell I can see her again.  I just know that we agreed on yesterday/Saturday, and she initially sounded really excited about it.  But I didn't like her attitude.  First, she said wanted to delay because she was working like a dog and she wants to look good for me.  She's gorgeous, but frankly, I'm not going to see her because of her looks.  And then, when we decided to delay, she said, "That's too bad."  Huh?  She first begged me to change the appointment of our HJ (a second time, mind you), but to me, she now sounded like she was calling the shots when she definitely is not.  Finally, when she told me she is working out of town on weekends, and I asked her as what, she shut me down.  Excuse me?  Not a fan of small talk now that you blew me off?  Are you an assassin -- is that why you can't say what you do?

Again, she's done this before, but I've come back to her with my erection in my hands, so this will be no different.  But fuck her, I don't want to see her right now.  I'll stick to my women who can keep an appointed time, thank you very much.

---

*****y's blow-off was one of a few signs that convinced me to change my schedule.  It was raining outside, and while I don't think crossing a bridge over the St. Croix River is dangerous in that weather, I would rather not do so, especially in an area of the country I've never been to.  Finally, my boss texted asking if I could come in to work.  I was initially going to stick to my (altered) plans of going to Wisconsin in the afternoon, but I couldn't pass up making a bit more money, and besides, I could drive in the evening when it's drier.

So, I worked in the afternoon.  And even though I didn't at first want to go out in the evening, I did my beer-shopping/lottery ticket-getting then, setting Sun blasting glare everywhere notwithstanding.  So glad that I could buy individual bottles of Spotted Cow.  However, when I tried cashing in Father's winning Mega Millions ticket, the cashier at the Circle K said I couldn't because it was too old.  Father bought this ticket in October, and I thought you had a year before it expires.  But I just looked up the Wisconsin Lottery FAQ, and it says you have only 180 days.  In Minnesota it's a year, and I guess I assumed that year time period was universal when it's not.

Oh, well.  I still promised Father I would get Powerball tickets for him, and I promised the same for my sister, who wanted one once I told her I was going across the border.  Nonetheless, I have to face this fact: If I knew that I couldn't cash in this ticket, I wouldn't have gone across the river into Wisconsin, and I wouldn't have bought any beer.  This would have, and maybe should have, blown up all my big plans of making a daytrip out of Stillwater, Minn., and Houlton, Wisc.

---

Oh, and to top it all off, Mother wanted me to go to Target to buy some miniature apples.  Well, at first, when I told my parents after dinner I was going, she asked me to where.  And I find that so fucking intrusive that I told her, "I'm going out, OK?" because I didn't want them to know my business ... even though I realized that they would know I crossed the border once I gave Father the Powerball tickets I bought for him.  Anyway, she asked because she wanted to know if I was going to Target because she heard these mini-apples were sweet and delicious.  I actually hit up a Target on my way back because I wanted to pick up some POM.  I tried them last night; they're ... OK.

---

No, it wasn't necessary to drive to Wisconsin and back, because of both my plans with *****y falling through and because of the expired lottery ticket.  But I want to note that me driving to the liquor store, and then to the gas station, and then to Target on the Minnesota side, took less than two hours.  I know that the Twin Cities lies relatively close to Wisconsin, but that trip is a tad longer than going out to see my brother and sister-in-law and niece at their home in Carver County.  The border is still fairly far away, and it's not a trip I think I should be doing regularly.  But still, two hours only?  And my car seems to be in good shape?  I have to admit that I had fun last/Saturday night driving by myself to these far-flung places, I really did.

Roadtripping Into Wisconsin

So Father has a winning Mega Millions ticket he got through the Wisconsin Lottery.  I don't know how in the hell did he wind up in Wisconsin back in October, but he did, and there's four bucks we might not get back if we don't cash it in.

Meanwhile, one of my stripper girlfriends, *****y, moved back to her hometown of Stillwater.  She has invited me to her place for some sexy time, but it was difficult to find a time this summer to do it.  

However, today/Saturday is perfect, at least according to *****y.  I will go out there some time in the afternoon for my HJ, and as long as I am out there, I might as well drive across the border and into Wisconsin to cash that ticket.  I'll get some Powerball tickets for Father while I'm out there.  And who knows, I might as well go into a liquor store and buy some Spotted Cow.

My plans initially were to get my eyes checked at the local mall, go see *****y, head across the border, come back to have lunch around Stillwater, then come back to cash in on some free Chick-Fil-A nuggets and maybe get a couple juices at the grocery store.  But the local mall closed appointments earlier this week, then *****y shifted our session back a couple hours, and then (and I'm not completely proud of this) I looked at the Google reviews of the liquor store I thought I would go get beers and lottery tickets at and the couple that were written were pretty down on the place.  One of them said that the cashier would steal your lottery money.

So I just searched for a better place to get liquor, and it's down in Hudson, several miles south of Stillwater.  So now the plan is to immediately jump the border, get some liquor, drive to a gas station (apparently Circle Ks are big in Wisconsin, at least in western Wisconsin) to cash in and then buy tickets, then eat Mexican, then get my freak on and then do my shopping closer to home.  All the while I'll be putting some serious miles and wear on my car, but I'm not worried since I got it serviced a couple weeks ago.  If it somehow breaks down so soon after maintenance, it's not worth keeping.

Wish me luck that all of this is not hectic, but fun.

New Floor Mat

As I was getting into my car on Wednesday, I looked at the floor mat on my car -- really looked at it.  And I realized I need a new floor mat.  There is a hole on the mat where I think where I rest my driving (right) heel as I brake; I notice this from time to time.  But on Wednesday, when I actually gazed at the mat, that hole has gotten so worn down that there is now another hole beneath that hole.  It's gotten onto the carpet of the car itself.  Hell, there might be a hole in the steel underside of the hole itself.

I think I need to stop that, especially as we get into another winter.  So I need to buy a new floor mat.  A new floor liner, in fact, and probably from WeatherTech, from whom I bought the sun shades for my car and of which I am quite happy.  But dang it, maybe I should've gotten something new some time ago.  I guess it's hard for me to remember to take care of my car when I'm not physically in it.

The Break I Needed

Spent yesterday/Wednesday in the lab doing the packages.  And goddammit, I spent, including my morning break, a bit more than four hours and 15 minutes back there.  Swear to God, it used to be 2 1/2 hours max.  I have no idea why in the hell my past few trips in the lab have been so long and laborious.  But they have been, and so the massage I arranged between work and the MNUFC Match (they fucking lost to San Luis, for fuck's sake) was worth it, even if I ruined my ideal post-massage comedown by eating a Jucy Lucy and egg rolls at Allianz Field.

Anyway, I was back there for so long that when I got out, my shift was in its lunch break.  I thought with all my standing around, my body would be so tired that I would pass out immediately.  Didn't happen.  It seems I was too wired and achy to rest.  But once I got back from my lunch break to finally sit down and type, my body was shutting down.  I felt I needed sleep now, and forget any illogic about how I tried to get some shut-eye a scant half-hour ago.

But my afternoon break was coming up.  I needed about an hour, but at 1 I marched back out to my car, closed my eyes ... and I was woken up by my phone alarm, a dozen minutes later.  My dragging body suddenly felt alert, and I powered through the rest of the day with ease.

Naps are good, y'all.  Never, ever underestimate them.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  What a difference one Game makes.  On Saturday in Las Vegas, a lot of big things happened for the Lynx:

• They annihilated The Bastard Utah Starzz/San Antonio Silver Stars, 111-58, the largest margin of victory by a road team in WNBA History;
• Kayla McBride went eight-for-eight from behind the arc in the First Half, becoming the first W player ever to score so many in a half on 100% shooting (by the way, she missed a couple of her three attempts in the Second Half and was sat down in the Third Quarter for good, thereby missing a chance to set the record for most Threes made in a Game, which is nine and has been set four times;
• Napheesa Collier suffered a bad ankle sprain.  It may speak to the league-wide respect Phee has garnered that once play was stopped and Collier couldn't quickly get up, not only did Lynx trainers and Lynx players but Aces players quickly surrounded her and set up a barrier of towels so she could deal with her injury in private.

Collier is gone for two Weeks.  That encompasses five Games total, the final three being a de facto series against The New York Liberty (where they both play in Brooklyn, then at Target Center, then in Brooklyn again -- weird schedule).  This introduces the possibility that the Lynx will slide without their talisman, and that second-place New York will have a chance to take over the top spot and with it home-court advantage throughout the playoffs.

Maybe this is not related, but overnight between Sunday and Monday, the Lynx swung a trade, bringing in DiJonai Carrington from The Bastard Detroit/Tulsa Shock for Diamond Miller, Karlie Samuelson, and a their Second Round pick in the 2027 Draft.  People say Miller has been inconsistent; I say she hasn't been given a chance to blossom and really be the alternate scorer all teams (but especially the Lynx) need to find another way to win in the postseason.  Nevertheless, she'll have the opportunity to thrive down in Dallas.  Meanwhile, even though some people believe Carrington is a locker room cancer, she is a premier shutdown perimeter defender, and she is the reigning Most Improved Player in the WNBA.  Minnesota will need her to lock down Caitlin Clark or Sabrina Ionescu in the playoffs.

Plus, she can provide some role player pop on Offense.  In her first Game with the Lynx last/Tuesday night at Seattle, she scored 13 Points in just 18 Minutes off the bench, helping Minnesota overcome an eight-Point Halftime deficit to win, 91-87.  That completed a 3-0 screening Week that started off with Wins at home over the Libs and that immolation of Las Vegas.

They have a 5 1/2-Game lead over New York City for the #1 Seed, but with Collier out, a backslide is definitely plausible.  On the other hand, while New York could go on a late run and sweep all three consecutive Games from the Lynx, they'll have to do it without Breanna Stewart, who is tending to a bone bruise in her right knee.  Maybe the Lynx can clinch home-court throughout the postseason without breaking much of a sweat because both contenders lost their main woman.

They host Washington on Friday before their first of the trilogy with New York City Sunday afternoon.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -1).  The Leagues Cup went through some big format changes for this iteration.  Not all Major League Soccer teams are participating; MLS and Liga MX squads are only playing Matches against teams from the other league; and Knockout Round Games will be spread out so both leagues can return to league play.  Those changes were instituted to goose interest in this in-season tournament while not completely destroying the rhythm of both leagues' seasons.

However, one concession, making the Knockout Round only eight teams deep (four for each league), has a big drawback: You have to be darn well perfect to reach it, and a Loss likely eliminates you.  You may drop a Point or two and not make it.  In that sense, a tournament many people already ignore has given another reason to ignore it.

Welp, the Loons appear to be taking this seriously.  They started by routing Queretaro at Allianz Field Wednesday, 4-1.  They were on their way to going two-for-two Saturday in Houston against Club America.  Frustratingly, MNUFC took a lead on the Liga MX glamour club thrice and lost it each time, the last being fire home by America's Sebastian Caceres in the 90th Minute.  That meant a straight-to-PK shootout, and that's where Club America won in extras, 8-7.  They are currently fourth in the MLS standings, but shit, man, they went from picking up all three Points to earning only one in a matter of ten or 15 Minutes.  That inability to close might cost them tonight at home against Atletico de San Luis, and if so, it'll be curtains for the Loons.  After that, they resume MLS action early Sunday afternoon when Colorado comes to town.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Twins faithful and avid baseball fans everywhere appear to still be in shock over what Twinks Owner Jim Pohlad ordered President Of Baseball Operations Derek Falvey to do by Thursday's Trade Deadline.  Yes, this Year's team was going nowhere.  But this wasn't just a fire sale.  This was a dumpster fire sale.

Of the 26 individuals that comprised the franchise's major league roster, ten of them were dealt in the 48 Hours up to Thursday.  No one has yet said that is the greatest number of players cast off from a team right before the Trade Deadline in Major League Baseball history, but people sure are acting like it.  And we Twinks fans certainly haven't seen anything close to it.  However, we know how miserly the Pohlads are, and I think some of us were bracing for a huge sell-off considering the Pohlad family is at least continuing to say they are actively trying to sell the team.

But this?  Well, these moves confirmed our worst fears, but it's shocking nonetheless.  They didn't just trade players who were going to be Free Agents after the season.  Maybe five of the ten ex-Twins were under team control through at least 2026.  Also, they blew up the Bullpen; their five best relievers are gone.  Add Carlos Correa, who was supposed to come in to be the veteran presence for this young club and was dealt back to Houston for some guy who might be Designated For Assignment any Minute now, and this just doesn't feel like lighting the forest on fire but also salting the earth to make sure nothing grows on it ever again.

It sure feels that way considering the players traded and how fans are reacting to the moves.  It feels as though the saddest trade is of Closer Jhoan Duran.  I didn't think I would miss him that much; I didn't think he was that good of a shutdown guy.  But dammit, he has that entrance that puts that of Mets Closer Edwin Diaz to shame.  And when Durantula (isn't that Kevin Durant's nickname?) was dealt to Philadelphia, the Twins organization did the right thing and sent them Duran's soundtrack and stadium lighting package too:

It's all well and good, and I'm heartened to see the sold-out Phillies crowd get super-hyped for Duran's maiden appearance.  (He threw only four Pitches to get the Save of a Philadelphia Win over Detroit, by the way.)  But if I may be a little defensive here: We (meaning the Twins) created what you just saw.  With the help of the Twins front office, Duran and a local DJ Skee, Duran did that kick-ass entrance here -- first, and many times.  For example, the last time Target Field was sold out was when Minnesota played The Pittsburgh Pirates.  This was Joe Ryan vs. Paul Skenes, remember?  And the Twins held a 2-1 lead, so they brought in Durantula:

Same music, same lighting, same Relief Pitcher, same sold-out crowd.  (And Duran held on for the Save in this one as well.)  Twins fans went wild for this.  They went wild every time Duran came on to close, and that was a lot.  But it seems as if MLB Nation just saw this for the first time and decided that this was newly born, that somehow the Phillies were the ones that came up with this.  At the very least, I think people ignore that this all started in Minnesota.  I truly think this is another case of flyover country being ignored.  And it hurts even more to see Duran's new team flock to him like this when we loved this, and him, first.  But that doesn't matter.

As some people think losing Duran was the saddest trade, people think losing Louis Varland is the most maddening.  He is One Of Us, born and raised in St. Paul.  He was had budding closer stuff.  His wife and family came to almost every home Game.  And he was signed with the Twins to 2030.  But he's out too, to Toronto.  The combination of a hometown boy who also couldn't go anywhere even if he wanted to go elsewhere probably has turned off a good portion of Twins Nation for good.

Falvey says that they're building for the future.  Sure, they have some young pieces they got in return, but in my opinion those players don't make up for all the talent, underachieving though they may be, being sent away.  No, this was a salary dump.  And I am pretty sure it's all just because the Pohlad family no longer gives a good goddamn about the franchise their father bought back in the eighties.  Sell now or later, what is important to them now is that they don't shell out any more money than they absolutely have to.  And they're not.  The Twinks only have two players under contract for next season: Byron Buxton and Pablo Lopez.  Joe Ryan, probably the best Pitcher still on the roster, is not signed for next Year.  Seeing what you saw last Week, do you really think he's going to sign with Minnesota on a contract worthy of his talent?

What I'm really scared of is this goes beyond parsimony.  I get the feeling the Pohlad brothers do hear the accusations they're cheap-asses and they see the "Sell The Team!" chants that sometimes float round Target Field.  I'm cynical enough to believe that not only do they not want to spend money, they want to piss off the fans whom they believe betrayed them after all that they've done for them.  If they feel that bitterly ... shit, man, just sell the team and walk away.  Just please, don't sell it to anyone from the Nashville area.

Oh, the Games -- they went 2-4 this screening Week.  With the meltdown of course they dropped the series at Cleveland.  After finishing up to Detroit this/Wednesday afternoon, they host Kansas City for three over the weekend -- let's see what the fan reaction is going to be on Friday! -- before heading back out and facing the Yankees in the Bronx for a trio beginning Monday.

For The Second Wednesday In A Row ...

Saw my schedule yesterday at work and goddammit, for the second Wednesday in a row, I have to cut open packages and get my hands dirty from stranger piss.  I also have to wake up super early in order to do it.  And for the second Wednesday in a row I won't be able to at least enjoy it by going home early because, for the second Wednesday in a row, I have to go to a United FC Match, which means I have to stick around the eastern side of the Twin Cities and find something to do for the 4 1/2 hours between work and the Game.

This time, though, I will not confine myself to the St. Paul side of the Cities.  I want to get a second massage ... yes, for the second Wednesday in a row.  This time, instead of a massage school, I was going to get a proper one.  But this past evening I started to get the heebie-jeebies.  The more I thought about it, the more I kind of get the impression that this salon isn't for men.  So, I have decided to go to the Minneapolis side and get a massage from a place downtown I've been to twice before.  Come to think of it, this place isn't so male-friendly either (although, to be honest, "proper" massage places don't seem to cater to men, do they?), but there have been a couple of Yelp reviews posted by men, plus I didn't feel any bad vibes when I went in the previous two times.

So, I am going to get treat myself for a second long and hellish Wednesday in a row with a massage on the second Wednesday in a row.  I hope not to do this again, however.  It's still a long day.  Also, I can't get massages every week because that will add up.  Finally, I am getting the feeling that going in to cut and touch piss is going to be the thing I am doing on Wednesdays from now on, goddammit.  At some point, I need to cut my Wednesday off early and go home to get some well-earned rest.

Goodbye, Car

Over the weekend, Father and I finally untarped my old car.  It looks as good/bad as it did when we stored it, which was, at least according to the tabs, before the winter of 2021-2.  But three of the four tires are severely deflated and the front passenger side is completely deflated.  Plus, the moonroof is cracked and enough, uh, stuff penetrated the cracks that there is mold or mildew in it.  It may run, for all I know, but the tires probably need to be changed and the moonroof is a disaster, so I don't think it's wise for us to put money into spiffing it up.  Yeah, it's time to say goodbye to the car.

---

I remember seeing it for the first time.  It was evening, I was hanging out or sleeping in or doing homework or just moping about my senior year in high school when my parents told me to come out.  I, at the top of the stairs, saw Mother, at the bottom of the stairs, jangle a key in front of her.  It was the car, and they got it for me.  And I remember being visibly frustrated.  I was a couple years removed from finally getting my driver's license on the third try, and the second time I got rejected by this truly deplorable bitch of a driving tester traumatized me.  This new car would be an upgrade over the car I had been using around that time, a Jeep that first had vapor lock issues and then overheated.  I should have been overjoyed that I actually got a fucking car that fucking worked, but I think my thinking at the time was that I was over driving as a concept.  It was so much work to worry about a car, and I realized there was pain even when owning a car that did work -- gasoline, maintenance, worries about repairs, let alone insurance.  I had taken a bus to school all my life, and if I wanted to do something fun, I could either walk there or hop a ride on one of my friends' cars.  No, driving a new car was too much adulting for me, and I gave the impression that they shouldn't have bought one for me.

Well, I did need to drive a car, if only for getting to the U. for classes.  And then the damndest thing happened: Instead of junking the Jeep and letting me drive the new car, they stored the new car and made me drive the Jeep several more years.  In fact, if I recall correctly, I want to say it took about nine or ten years before Father finally relented and let me drive the car as my main car.  Up until his decision to stash it, I had one summer to drive it all over the place.  And I remember driving it a lot very, very early in my journey with it, albeit inadvertently.  I was going to go to my friend's graduation party at his mom's house.  He drew up a map on how to get there from our high school, but it was wrong and I got lost.  And it took me at least an hour and stopping into one or maybe even two gas stations (remember that we didn't have the Internet, let along a map app, at the time) to finally fucking get to the party.  I expressly remember reading the part of the owner's manual where it said to drive the car gently for the first 1,000 miles.  I swear I drove about 100 of it just trying to find this goddamn party.

So after I was finally able to drive it, I, well, drove it.  Everywhere.  It was a stylish low-luxury car.  It was great.  I hate not remembering all the good times I drove it because when the car drives well, it drives unremarkably.  No, I remember when it started breaking down.  My first repair was for a ball bearing in the passenger-side rear tire; the car was making a noise that wasn't going away.  The transmission died on me as I drove to my overnight temp job in downtown Minneapolis; Father had to step in and found someone in the neighborhood to finally, after maybe a month out of service, fix the transmission for almost two grand, oy.  In the winter, when I drove it to the dealership for maintenance, I took the off-ramp curve way too quickly.  There was slight damage to the car, but the moonroof cracked to where it is today.

All in all, the make, model and year of the car is a good one, I think, and I believe I got what I could out of it, maybe even moreso.  But, maybe because it was stored too long or because of those 100 miles getting to the fucking grad party or maybe just general wear-and-tear, the problems started to pile up -- the oil level light wouldn't turn off; had to re-do the wiring a couple times, 18 months apart; it started leaking oil bad; the passenger-side rear power window broke, and I had to tape it closed until I could get it fixed; the sway bar on the passenger side broke so I heard a loud "clang" every time I steered.  One time I drove over a railroad track and the goddamn hood flipped open.  The fuckin' thing rolled up like a tuna can.  (Come to think of it, I think the hood is totally fixed.  Didn't see any misalignment at all as I checked it out over the weekend.)

Finally, when I was driving to my test scoring job (I may have blogged posted about this a long time ago), the car started to overheat.  I had to leave for the day to go to this shop I trusted out in Carver County (close by where a stripper who gave me a HJ lived), who said it would be fine.  These were the days where I had a second test scoring job at night; the fucking car overheated on my way home from that job.  I spent two hours turning my car on and off to see if the thermostat would be low enough for me to limp it home before AAA finally got around to me and towed it to the mechanic close to me.

The culprit: The gasket blew.  I thought that when it comes to major engine repairs like that, that's when it was no longer worth it to fix the car.  The mechanic said exactly that when he told me in his voicemail what the problem was.  But Father got it home and, weeks later (I don't remember what car I was using in the meantime), he got it fixed.  And really, the car was driving fine.  You had to be careful and the radio was doing this thing where it get really loud and then really quiet and then really loud.  Didn't help that the radio button was busted.  You couldn't even push it to turn it off or on, it just did that itself.  But, it was drivable.  And then Father made the decision, at least several years after he got the gasket fixed and probably near the tail end of the pandemic where people could finally go out and travel again, to stash the old car, put the tarp and the cinder blocks on it, and, well, forget it.  And forget it we did.

---

I got into the car for the first time in years Saturday, but it was to clean it out.  I stepped back in it yesterday/Sunday to reminisce, to remember, and to say goodbye.  I can't remember them, but there were so many good times driving that car, and it was, for a long time, a trusted, capable, and even stylish soldier.  I made an effort to open and sit in the four big seats of the sedan, if only for a minute.  I looked at the owner's manual one more time, then realized that, after all these years, there are two features on the car that I did not use at all: The driver's seat lumbar support bar and the bag chute that comes out from the toddler seat in the middle of the backseat and has the shape of a long piece of wood.  It is used to store long objects without messing up the interior of the car.  Well, we never had to carry big long things in the sedan.  And even though I have a bad back now, I didn't back then, so I didn't have the need to shape my back to its proper driving posture.  Still, I cranked the bar a few times, just to feel it in my back.  Can't believe it's the first time I ever used it, ironically the last week (or so) it'll be in the family's possession.

Yes, it's a car.  But it's my car.  And I used it for a formative period in my life.  Moreover, I saw it "born," and now I'm going to see it "die" as it gets towed and probably stripped for parts.  It's a hell of a thing to witness the entire life cycle of something, even something inanimate like a car.

This is the logical thing to do.  Yet, I know I should be sad about this.  But I'm not crying.

I'm still trying to figure out how best to donate the car.  That might give me a good reason to procrastinate.  But hell, it's best to let go of the car.  And yet ... I can't.

Goodbye, car.

Weekend Ruined Because I Couldn't Sleep In

Woke up this morning to the sound of rustling outside my window.  My mind had to wake up to figure out what it could be.  It sounded like tarp being rolled up.  The tarp was used to cover our old car, and I'll blog post about that later.  But Father, once again, was up and at 'em in the morning, and like mowing the lawn last weekend, he was doing a chore that woke me up way before I should have woken up.

I woke up earlier than I should have yesterday/Saturday morning too, now that I think about it.  What are the weekends for besides catching up on sleep and waking up only when you want to?  Why in the hell would anybody set an alarm and get up on a weekend morning to do something they don't want to do?  So now, and I mean this, my entire damn weekend has been ruined because I woke up way earlier than I had to.  How do I catch up on my sleep?  Well, there are afternoons and evenings.  And, to be fair, I was so tired last night that I went to bed around 12:30.  But still.

Doing The Double (Music Version)!

I want to see Talib Kweli, and I also want to see Fitz And The Tantrums.  I didn't realize until recently that they're playing in downtown Minneapolis on the same night, tonight.

Dammit.  But maybe not dammit!  See, Talib Kweli (great follow on Bluesky, by the way) is playing at the Dakota, and he is playing two shows.  His first show starts at 6:30; his second is at 9.  Meanwhile, Fitz And The Tantrums doesn't get onstage till 9, even though the show and the opening act starts playing at 8.  I don't think Kweli is going 2 1/2 hours.  If he ends his set at 8:30, that means I can get out of the Dakota, walk up Hennepin, get to First Ave., and maybe even grab a cider before they go on at 9.  And hey, maybe they're going to do the rock star thing and get onstage at 9:15 or something, so I'll have plenty of time!

When I first thought up this diabolical plan, I actually was impressed with myself, and I am no longer impressed with myself unless I do stuff with strippers (and even then that's debatable).  Festivals aside (and they probably don't count because multiple acts play in one albeit huge venue), I have never seen two concerts on the same night, let alone the same day, in two different places.  I didn't think that was possible; I mean, concerts happen at night, right?  Well, thank Buddha for jazz clubs and early shows, because (assuming there are tickets and the ticket prices are reasonable), I think I can pull this off!

I was out and about Wednesday night and last/Friday night, and I have plans to go listen to music tonight/Saturday night and tomorrow/Sunday night.  But if Thursday night is any indication -- and I was going to go out that night too, to see Cracker/Camper Van Beethoven front man David Lowery in a sing-and-speak concert, but I decided I didn't want to go out that night as well -- I should listen to my body more because I took a three-hour-long dirt nap that makes me think I would've died if I didn't.  And right now, as I type this, I am tired as all get out.  I think this is a sign for me to sign off and go to bed, too.  And if I don't brush my teeth, so be it.

I noticed the other day at work this worker ... we work in the same building, but we are in separate departments, and I don't think I've ever even said hi to her.  But she is physically attractive.  And the other day she was wearing something ... not revealing, but fitting enough to reveal that she has a tight figure.  She looks like she has a strong upper body (and she is on the short side), but she has a slim waist and hips.  It's not an hourglass figure.  She isn't buxom.  But she looks fit.  I'm not going to dwell on her, but damn, she looks good, really good!