The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  OK, what this team is doing is really good.  I gave this squad no chance to go into Iowa City and defeat the then-tenth-ranked Hawkeyes, but Thursday evening they shot an all-time best 71.4% (ten-of-14) for Three-Point range and rode hot shooting in the middle two Quarters and held them off, 91-85.  (Both the Gopher men's and women's b-ball teams notched upsets of the then-tenth-ranked teams in the country on back-to-back Days.)  It was the first time Iowa lost at Carver-Hawkeye Arena this Year.  It was the Gophers' first Win over a club ranked in the Top 10 since 2018.  It was the first time they beat the Hawkeyes on the road since 2007.  And it was the first time the U. beat a Top 10 opponent on their home floor since 2003.

And they suffered no let-down (not like the Gopher wrestling and men's basketball and men's hockey teams did, see below), comfortably beating Rutgers in Piscataway, 63-52.  That gives Minnesota a six-Game winning streak and some notoriety as a tough out.  I've said it before but I'll say it again -- these ladies are going to the NCAA Tournament, y'all.  That's why I have put these ballers above negative numbers.  I can't put the team in Positive Numbers, however, because the rest of the local outfits did not have good Weeks.

A busy Week ahead for this club, though: Home to Nebraska tonight/Thursday night, at Wisconsin early Sunday evening, then a home tussle versus eighth-ranked Ohio St. at The Barn Wednesday.

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  Was finally able to take up my friend on his offer and went to a Timberwolves Game for the first time this season on Monday.  The Woofs were fresh off two awful home Losses, a squeaker to The Bastard Charlotte Hornets and a blowout defeat to The Bastard Buffalo Braves/San Diego Clippers.  What I saw is the Timberwolves team fans now expect, a sure-shooting, ball-hawking, smart-playing group that overwhelms inferior foes like The Bastard St. Louis Hawks.  Unfortunately, I saw several instances when the players were indifferent when it came to playing Defense.  But Julius Randle notched a Triple-Double, Jaden McDaniels was engaged in the affair and made two thrillingly nasty dunks (that young man has hops), and Minnesota won going away, 138-116.

They followed up that get-right Win with another 133-109 wipeout of Portland at Target Center last/Wednesday night, their final Match before this weekend's All-Star Break (which Anthony Edwards is participating in as a member of one of two Teams USA).  And for all their stumbles, they should be worse than fifth place in the West, which is where they sit for now.  It may be dumb luck, but it appears as if the universe is giving this team every reason to get their shit together.  Will they, or will they remain a confounding mystery?

#-2: Gopher softball (NEW SEASON!!).  And this new season has already started with a thud, as the softballers leave the SDSU Season Kickoff in San Diego over the weekend 1-4, their lone victory an 8-0 shellacking of Loyola-Chicago Saturday afternoon.  They got Mercy-Ruled by Kentucky 8-0 in five Innings Sunday afternoon.  And they got lost two Games to, of all schools, Miami of Ohio.  Women's sports is big in Minnesota, but this program simply hasn't been pulling its weight for the last decade.

This team is going to the El Paso-Las Cruces area this weekend, a place I remember fondly from my time working as an intern there.  Oddly enough, it appears as though they are playing two tournaments: The Dr. Diana Natalicio (who?) Memorial Tournament in El Paso just on Friday, when they play Idaho St. at noon and then hosts Texas-El Paso at 3; then The Troy Cox (who?) Classic in Las Cruces, when they play fourth--ranked Oklahoma late Saturday morning and then hosts New Mexico St. late Saturday afternoon and late Sunday morning.

#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: 0).  I feel as though this screening Week is the opposite of last Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Last Week, all the teams won at least one Game, and several teams had a legitimate case to be on top.  This Week, several local teams fell on their faces and would have been at the foot of the table if it were most other screening Weeks.

Case in point are the Gopher grapplers.  They burned through all the currency they accrued after their awesome upset Win over then-fourth-ranked Iowa (at Iowa City, no less) by going to Rutgers Friday night and getting upset by the then-15th-ranked Scarlet Knights, 23-15.  Like the Win over Iowa, the Dual turned on the Matches at 149 and 157 lbs.  Drew Roberts and Charlie Millard, both of whom notched the upsets that made the team victory possible on January 30, had the tables turned on them and got upset themselves, Roberts (ranked #17 at 149) to 29th-ranked Andrew Clark, 5-1, and Millard (ranked #19 at 157) to also 29th-ranked Anthony White, 4-1 in Sudden Victory.  If those two Matches went according to seed, the U. ekes out a team Win.

The squad rebounded by pounding Maryland on the road Sunday afternoon, 37-6, but the reputational damage has been done.  They finish the regular season hosting Michigan St. Sunday afternoon.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  And fresh off their thrilling upset of then-tenth-ranked Michigan St., this Gophers club proceeded to piss away all their goodwill by allowing Maryland to score the final seven Points in the final 53 Seconds of their Game to go from a two-Point lead to a five-Point margin of defeat Sunday afternoon at Williams Arena.  Yeah, it's still Niko Medved's first season, but that chokejob is fucking inexcusable.  They play at the PNW schools Saturday (Washington) and Tuesday (Oregon).

#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  And fresh off their home sweep of then-eighth-or-seventh-ranked Wisconsin at Mariucci, then hosted unranked Ohio St. and completely capitulated to the Buckeyes, losing Friday 6-2 (ugh) and Saturday 2-1.  Young team that can't regulate their highs, I guess.  At Notre Dame Friday and Saturday.

So late last/Tuesday night I went out to dump pizza boxes somewhere.  We stopped trash service, so I have to find public places to throw my trash away.

I used the minivan to drive because it needed to be turned on.  But I saw that it was cold enough for frost to build up on the windshield, so I had to get out and use the ice scraper.  Maybe that's a blessing in disguise, I thought, because that would give an extra minute for the engine to warm up, and since it'll be a short ride to find a garbage can big enough to dump two pizza boxes (at least I hoped, but I found a spot close by), the minivan should be as hot as can be.

I moved from scraping the driver's side of the windshield to the passenger's side.  When I got done, I noticed that smoke was billowing out of the tailpipe.  That makes sense to me; the temperature is hovering around freezing and the car hasn't been turned on in a few days, so dark smoke coming out of the tailpipe isn't anything to freak out over.

But then I noticed that similar exhaust was coming out of the passenger side of the van.  Like underneath, like there's a hole in the muffler.  Holy shit, I've never seen that before.  And dammit, I got freaked out that the minivan, for some reason, wasn't going to make even the short ride to a garbage can and back.

I made it just fine, but now I have to look if there's a hole in the muffler, which is the simplest explanation for what I saw.  Regardless of what's going on, I feel the urgent need to fix it.  And I have no friggin' clue how much the repair will set me back, let alone what needs fixing.  But seeing exhaust smoke come out of the side of the minivan -- yeah, something's wrong.

Two Changes Of Plans

So I was plotting out which days I would eat out and which I would stay in and eat leftovers.  Specifically, because I wanted to finally pay for limes and lemons for the cocktails I am going to make this weekend, and since they're discounted on Tuesdays, I would eat out today/Tuesday and, to make up for it, eat in tomorrow/Wednesday.

But those plans blew up.  While at work, I got this text from ****e saying that she and ***i* are having a party tomorrow/Wednesday.  Then, she texted ominously, "Last chance."  Last chance for what?  Will I not be invited anymore if I don't come?  Are they hanging up the wanking lifestyle?  Is one of the two women going to die soon?  I don't know what she meant by that, but it has been a long, long time since I got serviced by either babe, so I decided I am going to this house party on tomorrow/Wednesday.  And since I'm spending money then, I might as well eat out then, too.

Then, I got another text, this time from my aunt.  She wanted to know when I was going to be home because she made food for me.  Then I remembered that around the Chinese/Lunar New Year, she has always come over to give me food she made for the holiday.  Very sweet of her, and it allows me to eat in several days over the next week.  And it would make sense, then, that one of those days would be today/Tuesday.  It's a lot of food, and I should get on it in an effort to eat it all before it goes bad.  And yes, this blows up my idea of getting citrus for my cocktails, but hey, I can make cocktails without lemon or lime juice, and besides, there's a good chance I will be out both days this weekend.

So, to sum up, I went from eating out tonight/Tuesday night to staying in, and I went from staying in tomorrow/Wednesday night to eating out.  And for once, these changes aren't frustrating to me.  It just necessitates a change of plans -- two changes of plans, in fact.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: January 2026

Almost the first full month where I have the Hooters calendar back up on my wall so I can see it every day.  So I think I can say with some authority that ... this may be one of the worst months I have ever seen.  Again, I'm not saying that all the servers for this month or ghastly to look at.  But I can only pick out two of the dozen women here for special recognition, and frankly, the babe in second I am pointing out based on a guess.  The other pictures don't do anything for me, sorry to say.

The waitress in second place is Madison, from Weston, Fla.  Wavy dark blonde hair that ends at the bottom of her chest.  Her attire makes her look like a company girl.  She has orange bikini bottoms and is wearing a black Hooters crop top. It's the kind I used to see on Hooters women way back in the day, where it cuts off high on the waist so it shows off the Hooters girl's midriff.  That would be sexy as fuck to see in the restaurant, but for swimwear it looks a bit overdressed.  I am taking it on faith, however, that she is not wearing anything underneath the crop, which kind of makes up for size of the top.

And in first place is Emily, of Hampton, Va.  Wavyer dark blonde hair that reaches belly height, she is wearing a black-and-yellow two-piece.  Posing almost fully at the camera, she places her left hand against a stood-up surfboard while her right hand pulls up on her bikini bottom.  She's got a nice body, and I love her wide smile.  She's fucking gorgeous.

And, that's it.  So congratulations to Emily for winning.  And no worries -- I have already masturbated to these two!

Super-Specific Predictions For Super Bowl LX

I am having a hard time really digging into this Game.  I think it's a product of not devoting enough time to it, but I can also see an array of outcomes, from a Seattle Seahawks blowout to a New England Patriots Win at the buzzer.  And I guess it's a testament to how good this contest could be ... or, could not.

I believe the consensus (and I think there's a consensus) that this will be a low-scoring affair.  The Seahawks' Defense is elite, probably an all-time unit, while the Patriots apparently are rounding into form.  New England, according to writers breaking this team down, are rounding into form on Offense as well, but I still am skeptical because of two reasons: Drake Maye is in just his second Year as a pro, and the left side of the Pats' Offensive Line (in particular Left Tackle Will Campbell) appears to be the biggest liability of any unit or sub-unit in the Super Bowl.  (I still believe that New England's easy schedule in the Regular Season is indicative that they've been lucky to get this far, but analytics people, using recency bias, shows that they have played well in the playoffs, where obviously the teams are all good, so maybe I should drop that).

And yet, and this might be my Vikings fandom talking, I don't know if Sam Darnold is going to have a good game.  The interior of the Seahawks' Offensive Line is somewhat suspect as well (in particular Right Guard Anthony Bradford), and the Patriots probably will find a way to exploit that and make Darnold look vulnerable.  Finally, New England Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels is a mastermind, and given two Weeks to engineer a game plan, I have to believe he's going to get his Offense going and scoring.  How much?  I don't know.

With all that being said, I have super-specific predictions I am obligated to give:

1) Darnold won't have a good Game.  He'll throw for, oh, 225 Yards, even though he will score two Touchdowns -- one to Jaxson Smith-Njigba, one to ... you know, I'm going to pass up first-string Tight End A. J. Barner and say that backup TE Elijah Arroyo receives the other TD.

2) I am not sure if Seattle will rely on its run Game, even though the Offense is predicated on it.  The injury to Zach Charbonnet might drag down the Seahawks' Offense.  Still, I think Seattle will rush for 75 Yards.

3) As much as I think the Patriots will try and double him, I think Jaxson Smith-Njigba has a productive night.  He'll catch for over 100 Yards and get that Touchdown, and those statistics will pop in what I think will be a cagey affair.

4) Over on the other side, I raise one final wrinkle that makes me lean in one direction: Drake Maye is working with a hurt throwing shoulder.  He's off the injury report for Super Bowl LX, but I still think it's going to be an issue.  He'll throw an Interception.  He will also throw for 250 Yards and throw for one Touchdown.

5) I also think New England relies on its running Game.  The Seahawks "Dark Side" Defense has been so good because they have been able to rush the Quarterback without committing more than four players, thus giving them plenty of tacklers in the back in case an offensive player gets loose.  To counter that, and to give Maye time to grow into the Game, McDaniels will have the Patriots running the ball.  And I think they'll have some success: 100 Yards and a Touchdown by TreVeyon Henderson.

6) This will be a tight affair.  In fact, it could be a slog, especially in the First Half.  Both Offenses have feasted on the big play, and so both Ds will do their damndest to prevent that from happening.  Expect a lot of runs and checkdowns, on both sides.  And still, most likely when it comes to third-and-longs, both Defenses will get to both Darnold and Maye.  I expect, in total, ten Sacks.

7) I also expect that because of fatigue and the desperation to win the Game, things will open up.  There will be way more Yards gained in the Second Half than in the First.  Logic dictates that there will be more Points scored after Halftime, too.  But what I will say the pivot point of the Super Bowl is an Interception thrown by ... Drake Maye, and it'll be returned all the way for a Touchdown.  That will happen at some point in the Second Half.

That's all I got.  I was hoping to read more breakdowns of the Super Bowl, and I really want to be an aficionado, but I couldn't get through Bill Barnwell's behemoth on ESPN.com, and I stopped halfway through.  Like I said, I'm busy.  But if you have time, read it.  The Xs and Os are wonderful.

But, with the information I can process now, my prediction for Super Bowl LX is: Seattle 24, New England 19.  If I were a betting man, I would wager on the Under of 45 1/2.  (I have seen Seattle -4 1/2 pretty much since both teams won their Championship Games.)  Smith-Njigba wins MVP.  And the football team of a city I really like gets its second football title.

Those Motherfuckers

Today I woke up around 11:30.  I think my body told me I only needed six hours of sleep.  But, I think I was trying to loll around my bed to get more shuteye anyway.

I couldn't.  I was woken up by a car horn being honked incessantly.  I think they say that when you hear a horn getting honked repeatedly, that means that those people are not only around, but they're about to take someone.

Those sons-of-bitches are still here, goddammit, and they might finally be reaching our street.

---

Not too long ago, my phone blew up.  Emergency text.  Some kid is missing.  But this is no Amber Alert, at least I don't think.  The missing child is a Latino boy.

I saw on the tracker website that an observer saw activity at an address close to the one given on the alert.  Poor boy made a run for it, I reckon.  I don't know how he's going to survive because this is the one cold night we'll have for at least the next couple weeks.  But if there are gods, let him run free.

Bored Me Napping, Then Shopping For Big-Ticket Items

Braced myself for another long day at work yesterday/Friday ... but it wasn't; it was actually tame, and very tame compared to Thursday ... and yet I have to brace myself for today/Saturday, because my bosses said that today/Saturday could bring in a bunch of work which I don't understand why it couldn't have come yesterday/Friday, and so I'm coming in to work as soon as I wake up.

So my plan of staying in today/Saturday has blown up, but hey, I am getting beaucoup overtime this week, so I'm not too upset.  Still, I wondered what I would do once I got home (on-time, which I did not expect) yesterday/Friday.  I thought I would be awake enough to start on the leftover pizza that I had decided I would eat, but the setting sun convinced me to take a nap first.  If I wasn't tired, I'd pop up early, and work on the pizza before the sports Games I wanted to watch would start at 7.

I crawled into bed before 6.  I woke up a couple minutes past 9.  Didn't expect to do that.  I thought I didn't have time to eat pizza and should pivot to spaghetti, which I planned to eat today/Saturday, but I am getting Pizza Hut to watch for the Super Bowl, so I went through with the pizza.

Yeah, nothing exciting.  So, in my bored state, I was reading up on the latest on how these assholes continue to plague and besiege our state.  One person believes that the announcement earlier this week that they're withdrawing troops was just a way to get people in the state and the national news media off their backs.  Then, the next step is for the remaining pricks to go hard not necessarily after non-Whites but observers that have made their loud objections to what is going on here a state-wide issue.  Intriguing, and I can see that that works, and is working now.

And then I clicked on a link recommending the best gas masks to buy.  If I have to physically commit to this struggle, I'll probably get tear-gassed, so I might as well prepare, right?  I looked through not one but two websites dedicated to the best gas masks, and me being a thoroughly-researching consumer, I think I settled upon one.  And, to make things even more tantalizing, the gas mask is on sale.  (I'm not going to link the websites that reviewed the masks or the company that sells the one that appears to be the top-rated one, just in case they're snooping around here.)  I think maybe I'm sounding too paranoid, but dammit, the thing's on sale.  I'll wait till tomorrow/Sunday; if I remember, and if it's still on sale then, I think I'll buy one.

What I did pull the trigger on is a new robe.  After seeing the two website review gas masks, I went to the website that does nothing but review consumer products (to think gas masks are a consumer product -- what a world we live in), The Wirecutter.  And bored me went down another rabbit hole, to their review of robes.  Now, I have thought about buying a robe for the past, oh, few years.  On the one hand I didn't think I needed one; either I would wrap myself in a towel and just hang out on my bed in the nude, or, if I'm alone in the house, I'd just waltz around naked.  But there is a limbo state where you are not totally dry but still want to putz around in the house without your man bits hanging out -- well, unless you want to open up your robe to thrust out your dick.  I'd reserve that occasion when I want to surprise one of my stripper girlfriends.

Anyway, the main obstacle to buying a robe, believe it or not, is price.  The ones The Wirecutter recommends are routinely in the triple digits.  One hundred dollars for a damn robe?!  I may have seen one for $90, but even that's expensive.  However, when I am bored, I am weak.  And thus I was ripe for the picking when I saw one of the recommended robes being sold for about 30% off if I use a promo code tied in with the website.  At $65 ... well, it's still expensive, but it'll be as cheap as these robes will ever get.  Also, I didn't plan on spending any money tonight, but the company said I could pay through PayPal, and my stupid brain has convinced myself into thinking that is not real money, so I bought it under the illusion that I haven't really paid anything today.

So I threw my sleep pattern off last night, I bought a robe, and tomorrow/Sunday I think I'll be buying a gas mask.  This is what bored me does.  Now, off to bed.

First really bad day in The Fourth Department in a long, long while.  I don't quite know what happened.  We may or may not be backed up at work, but I thought that because Wednesday was bad, yesterday/Thursday would be better.  It was not; it was way worse.  I had double the forms I had to deal with, and I was beset as soon as the day started.

I spent eleven hours at work, and I still didn't complete all the work I wanted to.  But I had to call it quits at some point, plus I planned on picking up Jimmy John's on my way home to watch NFL Honors, and I already set up a pick-up time.  I'm just glad I got home to watch the whole awards show which, to be honest, was kind of shambolic.

You know, I had arranged a wank sesh with *****y last/Thursday night.  Work would have prevented me from getting back home in time to see her.  But like she has done on occasion, she asked for a delay.  She seems to have somewhat outlandish reasons to postpone, and this time around she said her son got rear-ended in his car.  Sure, whatever.  But I'm actually glad we didn't have any sexytime because then I could stay and work.  If I didn't stay late, I'd have to do it all in the morning, and who knows what other work would come today/Friday for which I too would have to stay late for.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -3).  This has been as great a sporting Week for local sports in a long, long time, and maybe ever.  It's a shame any team has to bring up the rear in this Week's survey.  And it's incredibly difficult to decide who should lead the WMNSS because, seriously, the top three and even four squads have had screening Weeks that deserve Positive Numbers, let alone the top spot.

I decided that the Wild gets to be on top because of quantity and where this run puts them.  The club ran the table this Week, winning all four of their Games.  Yes, their last two went to Overtime, but they have an overall winning streak of five Games, they are keeping ahead of The Bastard North Stars for second place in the Central, and even though The Bastard Quebec Nordiques have the most Points in the National Hockey League, as of press time, Minnesota has the second-most, and they are only five Points behind Colorado.  It's kind of a shame, in fact, that they have to sit for the next three Weeks due to the Olympic break.  And remember that the Wild have eight players playing in Milan-Cortina, four for Sweden (most notably Joel Eriksson Ek), three for the U. S. (most notably Matt Boldy, who had a Hat Trick in last/Wednesday's OT Win in Nashville ... in The First Period), and Nico Sturm for Germany.  The Wild's fortunes could change if one of two of these guys come back injured.

By the way, the squad's first two Games coming back from the break are at The Bastard Quebec Nordiques and at The Bastard Winnipeg Jets-by-way-of-Phoenix Coyotes.  No easing back into the resumption of their schedule.

#0: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -5).  Again, the Wild winning five in a row and being the second-best team in the NHL were the deciding factors for the local hockey team taking the top spot.  But (and this will sound quite hokey) I am very, very proud of what the then-seventh-ranked Gopher wrestling team did Friday: Go to Iowa and upset their historic rivals, the then-fourth-ranked Hawkeyes, 21-16.  It was the first time the U. has beaten Iowa in twelve Matches, and it's also the first time the Gopher grapplers have beaten them in Iowa City since 2014.

This was a haymaker of a Dual.  Six of the ten Matches were not Decisions, meaning the winner got more than three Points for their school.  The deciding factors came at 149 lbs., where 24th-ranked Drew Roberts upset the Hawkeye's Ryder Block, who was ranked 16th at that weight, 4-2, and then at 157, where Minnesota's Charlie Millard, ranked 21st, pulled off a Major Decision on #12 Jordan Williams, 13-3.  That gave the Gophers seven Points when they should not have expected any.  Truly, this is the first positive unexpected result I have seen from these young men since Brandon Eggum became Head Coach.

Yes, the upset Loss at home to South Dakota St. still stings.  But that was before Thanksgiving.  Is this a sign that these players are rounding into form in time for the NCAAs?  Road tests against the East Coast colleges (#15 Rutgers Friday, Maryland Sunday afternoon) should serve as a good barometer.

#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  The results don't matter since the U. is still buried in the thirties in the NPI (in case you don't know, the PairWise is dead starting this season, long live the PairWise, replaced by the NCAA Percentage Index, or NPI).  But in a long and humbling Year as this, and especially in a gauntlet where the Golden Gophers were playing ranked Big Ten team after ranked Big Ten team, they finally stood up over the weekend and said, "We don't plan on you doing that to us."  "You" being then-seventh-or-eighth-ranked Wisconsin, whom Minnesota swept mercilessly at Mariucci, 4-1 Friday and, egad, 8-4 on Saturday.  Rivalry juices may have been flowing, but otherwise I cannot explain how in the hell did this young and inexperienced team just rise up and flog the ever-loving shit out of the Badgers.  It's great, but it's also inexplicable as all get-out.

And the gauntlet of playing eight Games against four conference teams ranked in the Top 10 is now over.  They host Ohio St. for a pair this weekend.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  I can't see how this club doesn't make The Big Dance.  They walloped a team that they should beat, Purdue, by 33 at Williams Sunday afternoon.  That's four in a row, and the last three were won by more than 20 Points.

Thursday's tilt at tenth-ranked Iowa might be a tall order.  Early Sunday afternoon's contest at Rutgers should not be.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Sometimes I don't get this team.  They went 3-1 this Week, but their lone Loss, a 137-128 defeat at Memphis on Monday that was the second of a two-Game series, happened because they came out flat and never got up off the mat.  Yet on the bright side: They throttled The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies by 17 Saturday; they defeated The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, 123-111, beating the defending champs for the second time this season; and last/Wednesday night, they came back from a ten-Point deficit to begin the Fourth Quarter to defeat the Raptors in Toronto for the first time in 2004.

That is a lot of notable victories.  And whaddaya know, Minnesota is currently fifth in The Western Conference, only a half-Game ahead of seventh, but only a Game behind third.  They continue to give diehard pessimists like me reason to doubt they can get back to The Western Conference Finals for the third Year in a row, yet they are capable of momentous Wins and pulling a championship run.

Well, maybe a championship run.  Rumor has it that Tim Connelly, Basketball Operations President for the Wolves, is burning up the phone lines trying to land a big fish -- namely Giannis Antetokounmpo, the superstar who got The Milwaukee Bucks an NBA Championship but appears resigned to leaving the team that drafted him.  The T-Wolves dealt away Mike Conley, Jr., who once was the man who filled a weakness the team has to fill, Point Guard, which Conley could no longer fill because he's old and decrepit, so the club could get the cap space to possibly trade for Antetokounmpo so he could fill another weakness the team has to fill, scoring.  (By the way, Conley was traded to Chicago, who then traded him to Charlotte, and the Hornets appear willing to buy him out.  I don't get the rule, but since he got traded twice within a certain period, Conley could come back to Minnesota on a veteran's minimum contract.)  Unfortunately, the Bucks appear to be playing hardball.  They want draft picks, which the Timberwolves don't have, and it seems like they also want Jaden McDaniels, who may finally be rounding into form as the two-way monster the Wolves always imagined he would be.  Will the franchise push in all their chips to grab the brass ring this year?  If so, will it backfire on them?

One final Week before the All-Star break.  The Wolves face The Bastard Charlotte Hornets, The Bastard Buffalo Braves, The Bastard St. Louis Hawks, and Portland.  Fortunately, they face all four opponents at Target Center.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  Kayden Mingo's spin-around, underhanded Lay-Up with one Second left in the Game broke a Tie and broke the Gophers' hearts as Penn St. won Sunday afternoon, 77-75.  Hey, what can you do?  Well, instead of writing themselves off in the face of tenth-ranked Michigan St., they came home to The Barn, took control early, and staved off one final Spartans run to notch a shock upset last/Wednesday night, 76-73!  This Win ultimately won't matter, but it's a nice feather in the cap, and I also think it's a sign that Niko Medved can coach.

Only one Game this screening Week: At home, vs. Maryland, Super Bowl Sunday afternoon.  This is a winnable Game.

#-5: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  And I feel bad because in some Weeks, getting a split versus a national blueblood is enough to put a team in the top spot of a Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  This is definitely not one of those Weeks, however.  And so I had to get picky about results.  Yes, the Gophers beat the top-ranked team in the country, Wisconsin, on Friday, but it was in Overtime, 3-2.  The Badgers came back the next afternoon and crushed the U. by a score of 6-1.  Compared to every other team in the Twin Cities who played, and the female icers had the least-impressive screening Week.  But beating the #1 is still a hell of an accomplishment.

And the Gophers are third in the country, behind Wisconsin (still #1) and Ohio St., of course.  This Week they do a second home-and-home with St. Thomas.  And like with the previous home-and-home in early December, they are playing Friday afternoon (there) and Saturday afternoon (here).

Well, Thanks For Telling Me, Amazon!

No joke, I spent a lot of the last 24 hours thinking about what I would do after work last/Tuesday night.  Combining my principles (or OCD) of trying to use only cash or credit cards a day and not making four trips in my car a day (three is fine, five is fine, four is not because four is an unlucky number), I was figuring out whether I should immediately drive home after work or go out and get groceries.

Beyond the OCD principles above, the thing that factored into my decision was that the measuring cup I bought that I was going to use as my jigger for cocktails.  Amazon said it'd arrive Monday, but it didn't.  If it had, I would have gone grocery shopping yesterday/Tuesday at the discount food store close by to pick up a lemon and a lime.  I would only go there yesterday/Tuesday because on Tuesdays everything is an extra 10% off.  And since I would have gone there, I would have gone to the ATM to pick up cash, probably get gasoline for my car, maybe get some fast food to eat both last/Tuesday night and a future day, and, oh yeah, buy more cocktail items like ginger ale and ginger beer.

But yet, I got to thinking at work.  Why buy a lemon and lime if I don't have the measuring cup?  What I do is slice one of them in half and squeeze them into the cup.  That does two things.  One, I can see how much juice I squeeze, and that dictates which cocktail I would make for myself.  Two, I hear that you leave out lemon and lime juice sitting out because it tastes better about four to ten hours after you squeeze it.  It's a waste buying them without getting the jigger first, especially since this is (I think) the second time Amazon moved the delivery date of the cup.  Amazon said that instead of Monday, it would arrive Friday, and in fact, if it didn't arrive on Friday, I could ask for a refund.

So why am I doing all this stuff yesterday/Tuesday?  I could do it, say, today/Wednesday.  I get out of work early because I'm cutting.  For fast food, I could go to the last Godfather's Pizza in the state, which is going to close on Saturday.  Assuming I leave early enough (and that may be in jeopardy because we have been asked to work overtime because the shipments are still playing catch-up), traffic both on the road and at the restaurant will be easier to deal with.  Meanwhile, I took out a rack of leftover ribs from the freezer to the refrigerator on Sunday.  I see on the Internet that leftovers in the fridge are good for about four days before they should be thrown away.  Why chance it and just eat the ribs yesterday/Tuesday when, by the way, I can watch an NBA Game on NBC?

So just going home it is!  And then, once I get home, I check the mailbox and see a package.  I was able to push my thumb into its middle, so it was the measuring cup.  It was supposed to come last week, then Monday, then Friday, and then for some dumb reason it came yesterday/Tuesday.  I thought I should check Amazon before I started my car at work, just in case, but I still blame Amazon for not getting the precise delivery date right.

But I stuck to my guns and went inside to eat ribs and watch basketball.  My plan on doing everything I thought I would do yesterday/Tuesday today/Wednesday after work is still mostly intact.  Well, besides getting the lemon and the lime, since it's not Tuesday anymore.  And I guess I can make do with the alcohol I have now, so the ginger beer and ale can wait.  I just hope nothing goes wrong, like me falling asleep at the wheel or getting detained on my way home.

Doesn't Take Much For My Fucking Mother To Push My Buttons

I needed to talk to her last/Monday night about bills that came in.  I thought everything was done.  But she called back.  First of all, she called back during the weather forecast I wanted to watch, so that perturbed me.  Second of all, she worried about some stupid detail that she told me to take care of, namely writing checks instead of going online and paying herself.  And finally, she insulted me by explaining something to me that I already know and was also not what I was talking about.  That is probably due to the language barrier, but also because this happens all the time, I naturally get defensive about her condescension.

And I was being a good boy food-wise up till then.  I didn't drink any coffee at work; instead, I had a hot cocoa (given to me by my former supervisor two or three years ago) in the morning and tea in the afternoon.  After shoveling the driveway, I went out to use a gift card at a really nice brewery for chicken wings and two 5-ounce glass of different beers (plus a half-filled 5-ounce glass for free ... er, double free!!)  I thought I controlled my eating yesterday/Monday.  And then My Fucking Mother talks down to me and I'm wolfing down Dot's BBQ pretzel sticks to fill the hole she punched into my gut, and I feel all fat again.  Goddamn her.

She wants me to write and send out the checks in the morning.  I'll do it later tonight instead.  Because she can fuck all the way off.

The Downside To Having A Neighbor Who's Looking Out For You

As I have told all of you, my sister's childhood best friend lives a couple houses down from me/us with her wife and their baby.  We text from time to time, but we have been in touch more since her mom passed in December.  I wanted to give her me and my family's sympathies, and then I wished her Happy Holidays, and then this fucking occupation from our goddamn Republican government began, and that is when I really started to text/bug her about sightings and, if need be, having each other's backs if the shit hits the fan.

She has a background in security, plus she has always been observant, so in the days when I got really scared about them patrolling our neighborhood and even our street, I felt, and feel, good that she will at the very least let me know if she sees something scary.  I have not been one to reach out and be friendly to neighbors, but if and when the time comes to band together, that is when it's beneficial, if not vital, to know who the people who live next and close to you are.

With all that said ... a man has needs, and for the first time since my parents finally skedaddled, I asked one of my stripper girlfriends, ******e, to come over and play with me.  She was late, of course, and this was when I came home from downtown watching the EPL after waking up early enough to see some soccer.  My body, with the help of the Bloody Mary I had, told me to rest while I waited for her.

I woke up to both a knock on the door and a buzz from my phone.  Naturally, I checked my phone first.  There was a text -- not from ******e, whom I asked to let me know when she was close, but from my sister's best friend.  She said she saw a car pull up to the driveway, and did I expect it.  And this is what I feared: Her doing the neighborly thing all too well.

I have, or had, kept to myself because I didn't want anybody peeping on my business, especially my illicit one.  And yes, I have known her for a long, long time, so it's possible that she has seen cars come up to my house before.  But I haven't asked her to watch over me in case people are taking me away until now.  And now I know for sure that she has been looking.

So I race down the door to open it and invite ******e in.  That's when I had to think of a reply, so I just said, "Yeah, I was expecting company," and then for some goddamn reason I went, "Don't tell anyone!"  Great, now I have given her reason to think I am doing something my parents don't know I'm doing.

Look, I don't think she'd tell my folks.  After all, my parents refused to attend her mother's funeral, even though they were home and the service was virtually down the street.  My folks made her mom egg rolls, and she loved them.  That's a connection that should be celebrated, or at least memorialized, as she was laid to rest.  But they declined to go, and Mother's knee is a bullshit excuse, even though Mother never raised it (and no, I didn't ask why they didn't want to go).

So that makes me think that there's no way my sister's best friend would just blurt out one day to them that I had a chick come over.  But, would she tell my sister?  Maybe.  And that's what scares me.  I hope she plays it cool and understand I'm an adult.  And I don't think I can now ask her not to look when a suspicious car drives up to my house; these assholes are still around.  But I don't think I am going to stop asking my stripper girlfriends to come over, either.  In fact, I think I am going to ask *****y to drop by, and then, hopefully, ****e* will have time the following week to clean my house.  Will she suspect something if she sees a pattern of cars drive up to the house?  And if so, will she tell?

It's weird to think that she might be thinking I'm having sex workers at my house, I'll tell you that much.

This Work Is MINE!!!

I will admit that I'm not completely sorry I did what I did at work yesterday.  But did I make a fool of myself?  Definitely.

This story starts back on Friday.  I was supposed to be in The Fourth Department, but my bosses told me that I should do data entry instead.  So once I keyed as long as I was expected to key, I went back to The Fourth Department.  However, I didn't finish the work.  I stayed till 6:30, but I wanted to see college basketball on the TV, and I thought ten hours was more than enough.  In particular, there were forms that came in on Friday that I didn't get to.  I was told during the workday that that stuff could wait till the next day (Saturday).  So I thought I could come in the next day, yesterday, and finish up that work and, hopefully, get started on the work that came in that day for The Fourth Department.  I was anticipating a lot of stuff was coming in, and I didn't want all that stuff to sit till tomorrow, especially if I was assigned to that position tomorrow.  Besides, the department needed help catching up on work, and while I liked having surprise days off, it was eating into the time off I had built up; working yesterday means I get to take some of that paid time off back.

I thought the mid-South was up and running, seeing as we got monster shipments Thursday and Friday.  However, when I woke up yesterday morning, I was told that morning's shipment was late, so we should come in an hour later than scheduled.  (Also, I have a Facebook friend who said that, beyond, like, half a day, her neighborhood in East Nashville has been without power for eight days.  Maybe they don't have everything back up and running like I thought.)  Two of my co-workers, however, appeared to have either not gotten that text or ignored it, because they were at their desks by the time I got in.  Moreover, one of them was doing the work I left over.

This is not an excuse, but how I felt was: Why are you taking my work from me?!  I know that I have done this in the past, and I know that I'm not strong enough not to feel that way in the future.  This red mist of control descended on me, like it has so many times before, and so I asked her, "What are you doing?"

"I am just finding work.  Do you want this back?" she said.

"Yes, please," I answered.  (These might not be the exact words she and I said, and any tone you might take from these two quotes may not be as sinister, or as courteous, as it actually was.)

I regretted my words as soon as I sat down on my desk.  And any doubt as to how she reacted to my "taking back what's mine" temper tantrum probably was dispelled when she said, "Here's the cart," and shoved the cart into which we put the work in my direction with a force I have never, never seen her give.  She is a steady rock.  And frankly, since my supervisor left for a work-from-home position in the summer, she is the one I have relied on whenever I'm fuzzy about what to do next.  In other words, I don't want to get on her bad side.  And I think I did with that move, and it's probably going to cause a rift in our relationship that will never be repaired.

And the upshot of the hissy fit I threw is that it really didn't matter.  I got Friday's work done, but then my boss and my boss' boss told me to go scan documents all day instead.  We got done before eight hours, so I was able to do (or availed myself with) some Fourth Department stuff to make up the rest of the time.  But yesterday was clearly an all-hands-on-deck day, and while I knew that, honestly, I really didn't want to do that.

I shouldn't have reacted how I did.  But it felt like she was taking my work from me.  Moreover, she was ruining my plans.  "I got this under control, don't mess this up for me," -- that's what I was thinking.  And no, like I said, that's not an excuse.  But shit, what's done is done.  I should get off my butt and start updating my resume.  Because I acted like an ass!

The Sleep Reset I Didn't Know I Needed

I didn't think I would pass out at 10 p.m., but I did.  My body told me I was real tired, so I listened to it, and I woke up around 5:30 and I feel good, even though I also feel a bit out of phase.  I back down to Day 1/10% bonus in Zynga Poker, but for a good night's sleep, I'll take it.

I really, really want to watch the EPL downtown.  I was going to do that yesterday/Saturday morning, but work called.  Also, I don't want to go to the bar on a day when a club whose supporters gather at this pub are playing.  That's most weekends when there is more than one Match going on (and on principle I don't usually don't go on a weekend when there is only one Match going on at a time), but yesterday/Saturday was one of those few times.  The next Saturday, I think I saw, was in mid-March.  However, there are three Matches going on this/Sunday morning, and none of them involve a club that meets there.  I didn't even think of going today/Sunday because they all kick off at 8.  But I'm awake now, so I can go!

But wait -- how about those damn people?  They had a goddamn checkpoint set up yesterday morning.  I don't see one now, so I hope there won't be one when I get back.

One other factor: The snow.  Only an inch fell, but it'd be just my luck if I get into a crash this morning.

Oh, I Went Back To Work On Thursday

My luck finally ran out, sadly.  Thursday morning, as I was checking my phone after my alarm went off, my boss told me a shipment was in and that we had to go in.  And it looked like the courier was well on its way to getting things up and running; Thursday we got three times the number of forms we usually get, which makes me think that got back on track on Thursday.

On Thursday I worked overtime to get all the stuff I think I needed to get done done.  Stayed longer yesterday/Friday because I was pulled from my work in The Fourth Department to do data entry.  That meant some of the stuff I could have done yesterday/Friday got pushed to today/Saturday.  And yes, I am coming in on a Saturday to work -- partly to help the department catch up, partly to take back all the paid time off I gave because I didn't work Monday through Wednesday.  I am suddenly getting close to going under with that.  I think I can actually "go into debt" and borrow up to 40 hours of paid time off in advance, but I would rather save that up for a time I need it, like a couple days in February and March.

Still, like I said, I was kind of sad Thursday morning when I didn't get the message that I could stay home.  I like not working.  It reminds me of the fallow periods inbetween temp jobs, where I was actually happy.  But since such happiness always ends, and because that feeling of everything crashing down is so hard for me, I would rather not enjoy happiness.  I want my vacations permanent, not temporary.

The Laundry/Mud Room Has Diarrhea

So the past two times I've washed some laundry, the second of which was Tuesday night, the floor has flooded.  Not bad; in fact, I don't know if this usually happens in houses.  But I went down to check if the washing machine was done and, for the second time in a row, there was a fairly large but extremely shallow puddle that I didn't want to step in.

The strainer in the basin, through which water flows underneath and, apparently, up through the grate on the floor in this room, is completely clean.  When it has been stuffed up with gunk, the back-up of water coming out of the washing machine drain hose (I think most houses connect that hose into the house's drain pipe directly, but we just nose that hose into the sink in that room because we're poor-thinking like that) makes the water fill up in the basin.  Sometimes when I go down there I freak out because the water is about to spill over the huge sink, so I'm grabbing cups to bail it out of that side of the basin and into the other side.  Maybe that's why I'm freaking out over seeing the pool of water on the floor; for that not to happen, the water would have to fill the basin, and I'd be having a heart attack over that instead.

Come to think of it, why can't the water just run into the sink, through the strainer, then underneath the grate and out?  In other words, why can't it just be normal?  Why do I have to worry about either flooding the mud room or the water overtopping the basin?  But because of this clean strainer and, I guess, something backed up underneath the floor, the entire room has, like, diarrhea or something.

Whatever, man.  Unless it starts to truly flood, I'm not going to care about water coming out of the floor.  Yet.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  I don't want to keep harshing on hearing their collapse to Maryland at Williams early last Month.  That wouldn't be fair because as of now, I think their spot in the NCAA Tournament is all but assured.  They are enjoying a three-Game winning streak after dominating both Games they played this past Week, 88-53 over Wisconsin at The Barn Sunday afternoon, then 87-66 at Penn St. last/Wednesday night.  Turns out this is a pretty neat team this Year.  Hopefully they'll make some noise in The Big Dance.

And unlike most other teams on this list, their upcoming screening Week is light.  They play only once, hosting Purdue Sunday afternoon.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Took both ends of a home-and-home against St. Cloud St., 8-1 there Friday, 5-1 here Saturday.  Yeah, but can they beat, say, Wisconsin, an actual good team?  Well, shit -- we're gonna find out this weekend as the Gophers host the Badgers, the unanimous #1-ranked team in the land, this weekend!

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -2).  All three Games the Wild played this Week were all at home, and they all went past regulation, which is something this club needs to stop allowing.  However, they won two of them eventually, defeating Detroit Thursday in Overtime and Chicago Tuesday in a Shootout.  Inbetween them, however, was an OT Loss to Florida.

And yet, somehow, the Wild have surpassed The Bastard North Stars, even if it's by only by a Point, for second place in the top-heavy Central Division.  I think they've played much better earlier this season than over this current stretch, and yet they've risen in the standings.  Go figure!

They have a busy screening Week coming up.  Tonight/Thursday night they finish a four-Game homestand hosting The Bastard Atlanta Flames.  They then go to Edmonton, come home to host Montreal, then play at Nashville.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7).  Things haven't gone well for the Woofs, especially on the court but also of the court.  Losses early in the screening Week to Chicago and Golden State (both at home) stretched their losing streak to five.  The last defeat, to The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors on Sunday by 26, and that was delayed by a day because ICE executed Alex Pretti Saturday morning.  When it comes to unrest at home (and I'm thinking of George Floyd), it appears as if the Timberwolves (and I'll include the Lynx, too), it seems as if the local pro basketball team has to be the sounding board, and it looks as though both the global sports world and Twin Cities sports fans expect them to say something -- and will judge them if they don't react the way they and we want them to react.

That's a lot to bear when your job is to play basketball.  And so, and I am psychoanalyzing this, I can see this squad buckle under the weight.  But, they won the second tilt of the two-contest series against the Warriors Monday by 25, then went to Dallas and then, despite not having Anthony Edwards, pulled away and beat the Mavericks (who were without seven players, including Cooper Flagg and Anthony Davis) by 13 last/Wednesday night.  They are in sixth in the West, just a half-Game above The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers and the Play-In Tournament, and yet they're only three Games behind San Antonio for second.  They've been through a rough stretch, and they need a Point Guard and bench scoring, and they're back to not jelling when they should be.  But ... I guess it could be worse ... ?

Another busy Week for the T-Wolves as well: Home to The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, two at The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies, then at Toronto.

#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -5).  I don't ever remember seeing Ohio St. ranked second in the country in wrestling, ever.  Well, the second-ranked Buckeyes came into the Sports Pavilion and whooped dat ass, 29-9.  How in the fuckety-fuck has Ohio St. lapped Minnesota as a wrestling power?  They came back to slaughter Wisconsin in Madison, 26-10, but still -- Ohio St.??

At Iowa Friday.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  I need to keep saying to myself that Niko Medved is turning this ship around.  I didn't notice till now that his Goofers have now lost six in a row after getting blown out by 19 at sudden juggernaut Nebraska (!) Saturday afternoon, then more than doubling up Wisconsin at Halftime, 35-17, before shitting the bed at Madison in the Second Half, losing 67-63 last/Wednesday night.  Goddamn, I'm glad I didn't listen to that piece of shit.  Geez.

The losing streak might continue: This screening Week they play at Penn St. Sunday afternoon, then host Michigan St. Wednesday evening.

#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6).  The Goofer male icers also lost a pair, this past weekend Michigan St., by scores of 3-1 and 3-2.  The Spartans were (and are) ranked second in the country.  The U. is playing a brutal stretch of Games: They got swept by Penn St. when they were ninth in the country, and then by Michigan when they were (and are) ranked first in the nation.  Also, these tilts were in East Lansing.  However, I put this sorry-ass squad at the bottom of this Week's survey for two reasons: 1) They have a longer losing streak than the Gopher men's basketball team with seven; and 2) they don't have the excuse of a first-Year Head Coach.  Minnesota is patient (some might say plodding) when it comes to changing coaches, but this has been a humbling season for Bob Motzko.

These young men will play a fourth straight ranked team.  And it's a border battle -- eighth-or-seventh-ranked Wisconsin comes to town this Friday and Saturday.

And Another Snow Day!!!

This is more than ridiculous; this is fucking absurd.  Either this is one fucking monstrous snowstorm or Southerners really don't know how to deal with snow and ice, because when I woke up and checked my texts, my boss said there wasn't a shipment again this morning.  Third day in a row.  We've never had two days of no work, let alone three.  So, another snow day!!!

Not to complain too much, but you really can't enjoy a surprise day off if you have to wake up assuming you don't have the day off.  Compounding that annoyance is that today, because I was scheduled to go in and cut packages open, I had to wake up early.  Then, once I saw that someone was going to go in to work and do everything for the rest of us, I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't.  (This despite having only, at most, 90 minutes of shuteye overnight.)

Unlike yesterday, today I had planned on going out: There's a volunteer event my financial planner is putting on very close to my house.  And since he's treating everyone to dinner afterward, hell yeah, I'm going.  And since I am taking the car out today, I might as well go to the Walker today and use that offer to see the museum for free after buying a ticket to the Arrows.  I had planned on going Saturday, but the chances are now very good that I will be working that day, so I switched plans and went just today.

You know, I know I'm not enjoying these surprise days off as much as I should because one day, this will all be over and we will have to go back to work.  Something good will be taken from me, and anticipating that will happen makes me very, very sad.  But that day wasn't today.  And, to be fair, I really thought that it would be yesterday and it wasn't.  So I'm riding on free money.

The one thing I'm lacking right now is sleep.  I have to end this blog post now in order to try and get a nap in before I go to this volunteer event.

The Gas Company Has Asked Us To Ration

Never seen this before: Our gas company has asked us to turn down our thermostat to 65 degrees until Friday.  The extended polar vortex apparently has all of us cranking our thermostats up, and it's both testing the utility and causing our rates to rise spectacularly.  (I didn't notice until I re-checked my e-mail just now; the company e-mailed back on Friday asking us to lower our thermostats to 65 degrees until Monday.  Man, if they have asked us to extend this rationing, we're doing a real number on their grid.)

The amount of money I have to pay for natural gas this month is about nine times that of the month with the lowest amount.  I think it went up $60 or $80 from the previous month, which was also either a $60 or $80 increase from the previous month.  Dear God.

Like a sucker conscientious customer, I did it.  But damn, it is cold.  I have tried turning it down to 65 when I sleep, like people recommend, but it was too cold for me to sleep, so I put it back up to 68, which is my evening/doing stuff around the house temperature.  (They say that you want it colder when you turn in than when you're up and about, but do you really?)  Anyway, I'll do it.  I'll bring it down to 65.  But sometimes I use my space heater when I'm cold.  I used it just now, and I reserve the right to use it again -- till Friday and, hell, after Friday.  Which, come to think of it, will rocket my electricity bill.  Oh, well -- damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Another Snow Day!!!

Alright, now this is getting ridiculous.  I wake up at my normal weekday time expecting to come in.  I check my phone, of course ... and I see that there has been a group text created with my boss and co-workers.  I still didn't quite understand it (or maybe I just didn't believe it), but apparently the shipment was expected to be so meager again this morning that not everyone had to come in today, either.  This text chain started a quarter after 4 this morning, so obviously I was late to the party, but from what I picked up, it was determined that there was such little work that, like yesterday, one person could come in and do my job and another person's.  It looks as though one of my co-workers volunteered to do that, and, after I texted my boss and another co-worker to make sure I'm seeing what I'm seeing, I asked, and was granted, today off.

Woo-hoo!!!  Hell yeah!!!  But damn, how bad is the storm down there?  Given the work we get is important, I thought they would need Sunday to recover, then be back fully functioning, or at least get up off the mat, by yesterday afternoon so they could at least start getting caught up with giving us a sizable shipment (if not more than a full day's shipment) this morning so we could, you know, work.  Guess not.

So we might get two days' worth of work tomorrow morning, and tomorrow is when I have to cut open packages.  I probably (unless the mid-South needs yet another day to recuperate) will be opening so many packages that I'll get carpal tunnel syndrome.  But that's tomorrow.  I have an interesting (at least to me) dilemma right now: Whether to work out at my gym.  When I got the day off today, I thought it would be a good time to finally get out and exercise.  But then I fell asleep again from around 10 till a bit before 2 -- much needed, by the way -- and now, I don't know.  It's above zero, which is miles warmer than what it was before, but it's still pretty cold.  I just saw on the map that these motherfuckers are still here; they just took a Latina woman this morning.  Finally, if I surprisingly don't have to work, do I want to start up my car?  Do I even leave the house?  You know, I think I should take advantage of this serendipity and stay at home -- completely at home, a one-day lockdown, like the weekend.  There's a bike that Mother used as a clothesline, but started using as a bike to help heal her knee.  I should get on it and just exercise here.  Yeah, I'll do that.  And I'll go out to the gym this weekend.

I Still Live In A Safe, Peaceful Neighborhood

So I ended my lockdown -- which, once I stepped a bit after 9 at night, totalled a bit more than 75 hours -- I was confronted with a very nice surprise.  Not one but two of my packages, comprising of several of the many items I ordered online at once, were at my stoop.  I thought they would get here after my lockdown, but apparently that wasn't the case.

So I checked online.  As is often the case, their initial days of delivery were moved up.  One package, which were two windshield wipers, came, according to them, on Thursday.  The other package, a two-pack of water filters, arrived Saturday.  So, if they're right about when they actually arrived, I had two packages, one stacked on top of the other, sitting outside my front door, for one and three days?  And no one stole them???  I've heard of the rampant scourge of package thieves, and I don't doubt it, but I have to be honest with you, it's never happened to me, at least not yet.  I've come home late into the night to see packages at my stoop and I've wondered how no one has taken them.  But one day would be a record.  Three days, though?  It's pretty much a miracle that both packages were still there.

Or, maybe I live in a neighborhood where people respect other people's stuff, and don't feel the urge to take things that are not theirs because they have stuff of their own.  For as unsafe and scared I have felt these days, that's a reminder that this place is still pretty safe and peaceful, Buddha bless it.

Snow Day!!!

I hate surprises, but when the surprise is an unplanned day off, I love surprises.  Well, it wasn't quite unplanned.  There's that huge snowstorm just south of us (I think that's the reason we've had below-zero weather for the past four days) that is (or was) dropping inches of snow and tenths of inches of ice.  That's where we get our work from every day.  There was a very good chance that no work would come in today since the mid-South is still dealing with the cold and ice and digging out of the snow.

And, as far as I know, that is what's happening.  I woke up at my normal time, like I would be going in to work like normal, but I texted my co-worker, who works early, if there is any work.  I waited a while but, just before I headed out, I got a voicemail from my boss saying that there isn't work (or at least no work when she checked this morning), so she said I could take the day off.  And I am!

Now, for all I know, a shipment came later this morning.  But even if there was, the number of forms has to be so meager that my co-worker could take care of it by herself.  But assuming the South will rise by tomorrow, we are going to have to play catch-up.  That means longer hours, and it may be so much work that the day off I am enjoying now I will make up later this week.  But hey, until then, I am enjoying my day off here ... where I am taking naps, cleaning the humidifier, and getting scared they're going to knock on my door.

What Would I Do?

Maybe I have to face the truth.  Maybe the reason I avoid venturing out during the day, or fear getting stopped by these assholes while driving, or run through my mind what I would do if I see someone getting abducted, is because I am scared of what I would say and do ... or not say or do.

I have proof that I am a citizen.  But it looks like these motherfuckers don't give a solitary fuck about that.  If they don't, and they decide to haul me in, what would I do then?  But there's something way more sinister than that.  It sounds as though these pricks insult you to your face in an effort to get you going.  I have a temper.  Could I be baited into saying something or doing something that'll be justification for getting taken away?  Absolutely.  Now, I have to remember that these pieces of shit have guns and therefore hold all the cards.  It might not matter what I say or do, or don't say or do.  They'll do whatever they want, at that time, just because they fucking want to.  And yet, I wonder if some of it would be "my fault" if I lose it.

And then there's the other side.  What if I get stopped in my car or on the street, and when they ask for proof of citizenship, even though I don't have to (and I have heard conflicting advice on this), I give them that proof?  And let's say they let me go.  Frankly, I would be relieved I wouldn't be kidnapped.  But what I did in order to remain a free man is to knuckle under this fascist régime's orders.  I would be complicit.  I just decided to give them what they want because I didn't want to get my ass kicked.

So what kind of a man, what kind of an American, what kind of a patriot would I truly be if I did what these Republican shitstains tell me to do?  And am I going to look the other way if someone gets spirited away into a plateless SUV to points unknown?  I'm afraid the answer to that last question is yes.  That murder Saturday morning really frightens me.  The first one here a couple weeks ago was bad enough.  But I am a big believer in that once you do something unfathomable and heinous, doing it again is much easier.  I'm afraid I can see a rash of killings by these racist government thugs.  Hey, in for a penny, in for a pound, right?  And it's that backdrop of these goddamn bullies threatening your life if they don't get their way that makes me scared that I will not be courageous when the time comes for me to be brave.

So, who will I be -- or maybe more to the point, what side will I show -- when these sons-of-bitches come for me -- the chickenshit too meek to do anything so he can go home in one piece, or the dead man who had to stand up to someone because it's the right thing to do?  I don't think I want to know.  And that's why I stay home as much as I can.  And that's why I hate myself right now.

Of Drips And Noisy Furnaces

I need to talk about something else.

This has happened for as long as I can remember, but this personal, multi-day lockdown has put me alone with the appliances in this house -- in particular, how creaky they sound.  For example, every single sink and toilet seems to drip.  Right now, I'm bothered whenever I flush the upstairs toilet because it always drips loud enough that I could hear it from my bedroom.  That's been going on for years, so that means that at some point, it'll, I don't know, warp the wall or floor or ceiling or something.  I'm by myself, plus it's cold outside, plus we're living under fascist rule right now, so bad luck will almost demand that the shit hit the fan when it comes to this bad drip-drip-drip.

As much as I need water, I need heat more right now, and my furnace rattles as it's working.  Sometimes it rattles when it starts up, sometimes it sounds alright until the middle of its cycle.  But it is nerve-racking to hear that rattle because it makes me feel like the furnace is struggling, and it's about to give out.  And obviously, I can't have it give out.

Things are fine, or at least tolerable, on both fronts.  But I just saw the website; they are concentrating on this neighborhood today.  Don't know why.  I was hoping I could dash out, grab some food, then come home and enjoy the football Games -- you know, live my life.  But these motherfuckers are depriving me of that simple joy.  Do I stay home, or do I go for it?  Well, in the meantime, I am hoping that there isn't a catastrophic water leak or furnace breakdown.

Goddamn, they murdered another one.  They don't care.  He was no threat, but they say he was a threat, and because we have some stupid, stupid people living in this country, they're going to get away with it.

I'm even more scared now.  Truth doesn't matter anymore.  It's not that people aren't hearing past the lies.  There is a significant population in America, in my humble opinion, that don't care about facts.  They will believe any bullshit that comes out of any motherfucker from this installed administration because they want to hear what they are hearing.

I have to ask again: How is non-violence going to get us out of this?

Anyone Want A Water Filter?

It's not good that I can't track stuff that I've already bought.  I got water filters delivered because I know it's been about a year since it's been changed.  After I ordered some, I went into my storage unit and saw that I have about three left over from a previous order.  I think I will now have four extra once I get around to putting a new one in.  Oops.

Now, to be fair, I might have changed it in the fall and thus checked whether I had extra in my unit, but my parents were here and Mother had a bad knee, so I was preoccupied with that.  Also, maybe not in my defense, storing these in my unit makes for an "out of sight, out of mind" situation where I wouldn't've remembered ever buying these extra filters until I bought more.  Finally, for some reason, Father turned off the humidifier last year.  In fact, it may have been over a year in which he didn't turn it on.  However, inexplicably, it looks as though he turned it back on some time during my parents' extended stay back at home.  I noticed, and then I got around to remembering the filter needed changing when I got an alarm last week that water was leaking from the humidifier while I was at work.  I went home, opened everything up and, beyond needing to clean the apparatus of limescale and calcium deposits, the water filter needs to be replaced.  This was an instance of "out of sight, out of mind," but in plain sight.

Anyway, I have to change my water filter, then store the extras back in my unit.  Great.

About non-violent resistance: I don't know if that's enough.  Apparently (and I could be wrong), protestors are observing and not getting in the way as they do what they're doing.  But what they're doing is violent -- abducting people based on race, separating adults from children, making those kids bait by forcing them to ask adults in a house to come out so they can be abducted too, and then pepper-spraying those protestors who aren't getting in the way.  What good is blowing whistles and recording them when the people getting kidnapped are being detained, tortured, and then thrown out of the country?

Yes, intervening is illegal.  But so is what they're doing.  And you say non-violence is going to stop this?

My Own Personal Lockdown

So I got home, without incident, at around 5:45 last/Thursday night.  I had to open the door again because I got a delivery.  But, once I shut my door at around 5:50 p.m., I did so with the firm intention of not opening it until Sunday afternoon.

Yeah, so like I said in a previous blog post, since I didn't get the Wild gig I thought I was going to get, that opened up the possibility that I could take today/Friday off in solidarity with the general strike (which is also in the vein of a nationwide walkout for which I did my best to participate in by leaving work Tuesday afternoon).  And, it just so happens that the most brutal cold snap in what seems to be at least a few winters is descending on us this weekend, the worst of which is happening right now through this/Friday afternoon.  When there is more than one sign pointing you in a certain direction, you best pay heed.  And so, with the blessing of my new boss and my co-workers, I am staying in from now through the weekend (which means that not getting the Wild job is a blessing in disguise; I would otherwise have to be running around the tunnels underneath Grand Casino Arena and driving around town, and then I would have to hang out during the Game at the compound where there is no heat while temperatures plummet).

I'll admit it: I don't want to get my ass kicked.  But how can I show my support against fascism without sticking my neck out?  By not working or shopping today, which many faith leaders in the Twin Cities has asked us to do in order to get these motherfuckers out of our safe, diverse community.  I could march downtown Minneapolis like a lot of people are planning to do, but dammit, the government will get my face, plus it's brutally cold.  (And I wonder if it would have been better to march through a part of the city where more immigrants reside, but I'm not marching, so who am I to scold?)  So I get to protest by going to bed late, getting up late, and not working?  That's a win-win!

I am in awe of the list of local businesses (as well a few places in Duluth and Rochester) that are shutting down in solidarity, which are listed courtesy of Bring Me The News.  You know this economic blackout (coming on a Friday, natch) is getting to be pretty fucking serious when even Dreamgirls, the downtown strip club where I have had a lot of fun before (even though it's been years), is participating in the shutdown.  I think people are getting the message that a lot of places they would go to shop and dine and, well, get lap dances won't be open today/Friday.  So, for those businesses, especially the local ones, that will remain open, will they make enough money to justify being open?  Remember that there is a polar vortex happening right now.  A shop or a restaurant may not care one way or the other about what's happening in our community, but it might not be worth it to open because it's so goddamn cold.  And I think there will be brownie points given if they choose not to open.  Does it matter if it's really because to save money when you can just say you're standing with your neighbors in the face of federal occupation?  It may not be for the right reason, but that's a compromise I'm willing to take.

As for myself, I intend to just chill for the next, oh, 66 hours or so ... and hope that these people don't knock on my door.  I have thought about just not answering, which is what I hear more and more people are doing when they hear a knock on the door.  But that might not matter because these pricks have been given permission to violate the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution and just bust the door down.  You know, I hate guns, but this is the point where I have to consider invoking my Second Amendment rights.  Maybe more on that later, if this siege continues.

It is profoundly sad that, as much as I want to feel safe at home, I don't feel 100% safe here right now.  I can't even enjoy sanctuary where I live because of this out-of-control Republican government?  We don't live in a democracy anymore.  And I hope my personal lockdown expressing that anger is a valuable contribution to the Resistance.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Swept Bemidji St. in Bemidji over the weekend by scores of 5-3 and, eek, 11-1.  Great, but like I continually say, beat Ohio St. or Wisconsin and then get back to me.  A home-and-home with St. Cloud St. this weekend.

#-2: Wild (Last Week: -5).  Not only has The Quinn Hughes Honeymoon worn off, the bloom seems to have blown off the rose, too.  A 4-4 Week for the pro hockey club in town: Got tripled up by The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers at the Gica, then won in Overtime at red-hot Buffalo, then doubled up the Maple Leafs in Toronto, then gave up the Game-winning Goal in Montreal with just 15 Seconds left.

And yet they now are tied with The Bastard North Stars for second place in the Central.  (To put this in greater context, however, the talk that The Three Best Teams In The NHL all come from The Central Division should cool down because Tampa Bay, Detroit and The Bastard Hartford Whalers all have one more Point than both Minnesota and The Team That Was Stolen From Us.)  To be tied for second in the Division despite having a rocky screening Week?  You have to take that.

They begin a four-Game homestand with contests versus said Red Wings, Florida, and Chicago.

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Got drubbed Sunday evening in Washington by a baker's dozen, but came back with a notable 65-60 Win at Oregon last/Wednesday night.  Charlie Creme still has the Gophers in The Big Dance, and this Quad 1 victory is a solid marker in keeping them in there.  And they can continue to burnish their resume with Games at home against Wisconsin Sunday afternoon and at Penn St. Wednesday evening.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  A ten-Point Loss at Illinois followed by an eight-Point defeat at Ohio St. in Overtime extends this squad's losing streak to four.  But hey, it's Niko Medved's first Year as Head Coach -- don't worry about it!  This Week they host seventh-ranked Nebraska (!!!) early Saturday afternoon and go to Wisconsin Wednesday night.

#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -2).  The then-seventh-ranked Gophers lost at Maturi Friday night to sixth-ranked Nebraska, 20-12.  The Cornhuskers won six of the ten Matches, including a Fall from the fifth-ranked grappler at 157 Pounds, Antrell Taylor.  Hrmph.  I don't think it's too much to assume that the U. wins a Dual like this, one at home against a team similar in strength to theirs.

These guys are finishing a three-Game homestand; Ohio St. and Wisconsin come to town this weekend.

#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  Let's see ... when you host the top-ranked team in the country, you're just hoping you don't get pantsed.  And I don't think this team got pantsed, even though the Gophs had a chance Saturday evening to clip a Win over the juggernaut Wolverines, only to give up a Goal to Michigan's Jayden Perron about two Minutes into OT and lose, 3-2.  Oh, and on Friday night the Goofers got destroyed by the Wolverines by a 5-1 score.

This is a retrenching year, just like with the U. football squad.  And looky-here -- right as the #1-ranked Michigan Wolverines leave, the #2-ranked club in the country, Michigan's hated Little Brother, Michigan St., blows into town for two this weekend.  Minnesota is already on a five-Game losing streak.  This could get ugly.

#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  And the Woofie Dogs are in trouble again.  Believe it or not, they went winless this Week, losing on the road to Houston, San Antonio, and The Bastard New Orleans Jazz.  And because The Western Conference is so competitive, that three-Game losing skid has dropped them into seventh, even though they are tied with Phoenix, tied in Winning Percentage with The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers, and a half-Game out of fourth.  Oof.  They host Chicago tonight/Thursday night, then host The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors for a pair of tilts before heading off to Dallas.

Of All The Times I Needed A Half-Day ...

Getting yesterday/Tuesday afternoon off turned out to be a godsend.  I woke up from my evening nap Monday night at around 11:45 p.m., so I didn't get a wink of sleep through the overnight.  With my body dragging, me spending the morning cutting open packages and dealing with a particularly nasty leaked bag of piss, and seeing my city still being besieged by our own federal "government," I was so looking forward to not working in the same afternoon we were all supposed to walk out.  I was even assigned to data entry, but I didn't do it; instead, I worked on figuring out this new software we are supposed to know in a couple weeks.

And I didn't make much headway into that, either.  No, I was into doing ... nothing.  Well, I take that back; I had a lot of chores I felt I had to do.  I had to:

• use my haircut coupon before it expired;
• get my photo taken for passport purposes;
• buy groceries to hunker down for this cold, cold weekend we're about to have;
• finally drag some stuff out of my storage unit
• and do something for Mother at the bank

Now, come to think of it, I was really busy, and productive.  I didn't finish all of these things before 2 p.m., which was the scheduled time we were all supposed to "walk out," but around 2:30 I shut the door with no intention of opening it unit this/Wednesday morning.  I took a shower and then, while fully naked, settled into my bed because my body was finally tired.

And I woke up around 8:30.  Wow!  Five hours of hard sleep to reset my body.  Felt really, really good, even if this continues to throw my body clock out of whack.  And my "slangriness" has completely left me.  The anxiety over these people abducting me, however and unfortunately, remains.

A Gig Or Democracy (Or Neither)?

I anticipated working a Wild Game this week.  I signed up for it and everything.  But I have yet to hear back from them confirming I would be working for them.  At some point, if I don't hear anything from them (and I swear I looked everywhere -- e-mails, texts, and especially the junk boxes for both just in case their messages went there), I have to figure they're not going to hire me.

I decided that yesterday/Monday afternoon was the deadline.  I checked everywhere one more time, but no one said, "Hey, can you work the Wild Game this week?"  I knew this was a Game for which they could use a runner, so a few months ago I blocked off two days this week at work.  Well, I'm not going to work the Game even if I get a late-night, desperation text right now asking me if I could work it.  Too late, you know?

That means I now can work this week ... however, you may have heard that there is not one but two walkouts planned for this week, one today/Tuesday and one on Friday.  I want to support democracy and protest our fascist regime in my own passive-aggressive way ... by taking those days off.  And I might as well give up the ghost to illustrate the absurd irony of this situation: The two days I had to block off to work the Wild Game are tomorrow/Wednesday and Thursday.  So I am going from taking tomorrow/Wednesday and Thursday off to taking today/Tuesday and Friday off ... well, seeing as last-minute as this change is, taking this/Tuesday afternoon off, which would coincide with a planned nationwide walkout this/Tuesday afternoon.

And, well, wanting to take today/Tuesday and Friday off.  This is very last-minute, but I tried reaching out to my new boss about flipping my days off this week.  I haven't heard back from her yet.  I hope I can still do it, and I hope this change doesn't affect all the plans she and my co-workers may have had when it comes to where they're working.  But, well, if I can't work a hockey Game, I may as well protest our freedoms being taken from us, right?

The Main Reason I Think I Hate MLS' "Flip"

Back in mid-November, Major League Soccer announced that they are going to change the schedule of the league.  Ever since its inception in 1996, they started play some time in the spring (in '96 it was April; now it begins late February or early March) and ends some time in early December.  But this Year, the 30th Year of MLS, will be the last under this calendar year format.  After playing a four-month "spring season" in the spring of 2027, MLS will align its year with pretty much every soccer league in every country on Earth, where they start late summer and end around Memorial Weekend.

Not too long ago, I heard the Commissioner for MLS say that he didn't think that would be a good idea, and I think his main reason was that so many northern cities (such as Minnesota United) would be affected by figuring out how to deal with a part of the summer-to-spring season that makes outdoor Matches well nigh impossible to stage in the winter.  Guess he changed his mind, and I guess that not sticking out like an outlier, especially when it comes to trying to bring in players through Transfer Windows that are, right now, a bit awkward, was enough of a reason to do this wholesale change.

At first blush, I hate this as a season-ticket holder.  The idea that players didn't want to join a club in MLS during the middle of our season or the middle of the season of the league they're coming from is still too abstract for me to care about.  But another plus the Commissioner claimed would make the new calendar better is that Major League Soccer would get away from having its postseason run right into the National Football League and college football.  True -- and I still don't think it's a good enough reason to do, as some people are calling it, "The Flip."  Yes, football (mostly professional but college matters too) is the most popular sport in the country.  But it's their regular season; MLS has conducted its postseason late in the fall.  I will go to lengths to see a postseason Loons Match in person (I have skipped out on Game-watching events in the past) because they are the most important Matches on the schedule, and I think diehard fans of other MLS squads have done and would do the same.

Conversely, the commish also says that putting MLS' playoffs in May is a lot less crowded.  No, it isn't.  The NBA Playoffs and The NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs are also played in May.  Basketball and hockey are not the behemoth that American football is.  But you cannot convince me that soccer has a chance to stick out and rise above the din at a time those two leagues also have their postseasons.  When the Games matter most, MLS will take a backseat to both the NBA and NHL, every Year.  (And hell, to be honest with you, the NHL takes a backseat to the NBA every May, too.)  Major League Soccer is not running from a crowded part of the year; it's running to a crowded part of the year.  And I don't think it's going to work.  So on second blush, I still hate this.

Another point I considered: I thought that there would be Matches played through the winter, and we would thus have to have a few or even several of them played during the holidays.  Then MLS announced that there will be an annual two-Month Winter Break from mid-December to mid-February, and then on top of that there will be special considerations to limit the number of Games played here in December and February to one or two.

But I decided to think further.  What about this Winter Break?  It's good for the safety of players and fans, no doubt.  But what sports league do you know builds in a two-Month break in its season?  Wouldn't that feel like two separate seasons?  And what happens if, for example, MNUFC just sucks for the first part of the Year?  Would anyone want to come back and see the final part of the season if the Loons blow?  (Major League Soccer anticipates that 2/3 of the season is completed before Winter Break and the final third is completed once play resumes and into the end of April, which is supposed to be when the regular season will end.)  This has the potential to be a momentum killer.

Another point of concern comes in the fall.  I am very busy during American football season.  I work Vikings and Golden Gophers Games, and I organize Game-watching parties for my alma mater.  These conflicts have been in place since Minnesota United started MLS play in 2017, so it's nothing new.  Still, it's a pain in the ass to, for example, wait for when my alma mater announces the time of their Game in two Weeks and figure out whether I could travel from downtown Minneapolis to Midway to see my Loons, or if it's worth it to catch only the Second Half of the MNUFC Match, or if I need to sell my ticket.  Usually, one to three of my season tickets are casualties to these circumstances each year.

The announcement didn't say, but I wonder, assuming there will be at least as many Matches in a regular season as there currently are now, if there will be more Matches played in the fall.  So I have looked at the upcoming season, looked through my Franklin Quests for the past few years, and jotted down how many autumn Matches there have been from 2022 to this season, which would be ones subject to either work or play conflicts due to American football.

2026 home Games in the fall I have to worry about skipping: 5

2025: 3

2024: 3

2023: 4

2022: 1

There are tons of caveats here.  Major League Soccer has frequently shifted their seasons, and put in breaks during the middle of them, if there have been other worldwide soccer conflicts, such as the World Cup and continental tournaments, so there will be years more Matches had to be piled into the autumn.  Also, I wanted to go back all the way to 2017, but I realized that 2021 and 2020 were severely impacted by the pandemic -- I couldn't go at all in 2020, and I think I started going to Games late in the summer of 2021 -- and so it didn't make sense to go back even further.  Finally, we don't have the 2027-8 schedule out yet, of course, so we don't know if there will be a concentration of Matches in the fall.  Still, while I have no evidence this will get worse under the new calendar, I will go with my gut and believe it will be.

But I realized something further. It may not be the fall that impacts my season-ticket status the most, but the summer.  Major League Soccer says it'll conduct its postseason in May, and the league will begin its new season in mid-July.  Assuming MNUFC won't host Games for the playoffs or even make the playoffs (and I would contend that the league is rapidly creating a Haves/Have-nots hierarchy not unlike The English Premier League, and undoubtedly my Loons ain't gonna be a Have), there won't be Matches for me to go to between May and mid-July.

How many Matches have taken place in that time period?  I went back through my FQs and checked:

2026 home Games between May (the scheduled month for postseason, which the Loons obviously are not guaranteed to play, let alone play any home Matches) and mid-July (the approximate start of the new season format): 3

2025: 6

2024: 6

2023: 6

2022: 5

More caveats here.  The three Matches this season is because MLS needs to take a break for the World Cup.  Also, Minnesota United FC salespeople have been trying to emphasize they are going to fill this hole with pre-season Matches and Friendlies against clubs from other countries, which should be easier once MLS' preseason aligns with so many other leagues' preseasons.  But you can tell that it's not the same.  I actually love going to Loons Games during the late spring and early summer.  There's not much to do, the weather is heating up, and I have enjoyed many Matches with other Loons fans this time of Year.

And then I realized that this is the part of the season that I will miss, and that this is the reason why this new calendar sucks.  And there is little to no chance that there will be any attempt that will be adequate to fill this hole.  So now what?  Well, first of all, because I care about the integrity of the season, I would like to suggest a split-season not unlike what Mexico's Liga MX does.  Every Year they have, basically, two Years: An "Apertura" (opening) season that goes from July to just before the holidays, and a "Clausura" (closing) season that goes from early January to Memorial Weekend.  OK, so you have two champions a Year.  Big deal; that means there is no yawning two-Month gap in a season you're determined to say lasts ten Months.  For this to happen, Major League Soccer would have to have only a one-Month break, and Minnesota United would probably have to play a few Matches in January and February.  Would I watch them in person?  Maybe, maybe not.  But at least the season would make a whole lot more sense.

Beyond that, I don't know what to think.  Well, I said a long time ago that unless I die, move, lose my job, or determine the organization has done something that so offends my moral code, I won't be dropping my season ticket.  I didn't add some sort of force majeure clause when I declared that, but I sure as hell didn't think they'd do The Flip, either.  So I think I'll give it a year, to see how many more Matches I might have to miss in the fall, and how many times from May to mid-July I'll be bored out of my skull because there's no important MNUFC Game to go to.  If it doesn't make sense to spend money on a season ticket -- and that price keeps going up every Year -- maybe I'll be forced to downgrade my season ticket package ... or say goodbye.