Friday, March 26, 2010

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Twins (Re-Entry!). They win the week with off-field news, but oh, what news: The Pohlads finally loosen the pursestrings and pay Joe Mauer fair market value! The 8-year, $184-million contract extension will keep the hometown boy here for the peak and downside to his career. Which is a great thing!

Does this mean the Twins are now playing with the big boys, the Yankees and the Red Sox? No, definitely not. Does this mean the Twins can't play woe-is-me when it comes to salary inequity? No, definitely not, either. Look, I understand that an owner has the right not to lose money on his holdings if he doesn't want to. I also understand that any team can be competitive if the owner wants to be. Yet I also understand that if you don't have a salary cap, like MLB, spending on players generally correlates to success.

I don't know if the Twins of ten or even five years ago would make this deal. But I know that they should, and they would've caught hell if they didn't sign Mauer. It's not just the hometown angle, although signing the St. Paul kid forever forges Mauer as one of The Greatest Twins Of All-Time. But he's also a batting champ and the reigning MVP, and he's well on his way to becoming one of the greatest catchers baseball has ever seen. The bottom line is, it wouldn't've mattered if he was from Bumblefuck, Utah, the Twins couldn't let someone this prodigious on the field -- and so likable off it -- leave the franchise. Mauer was going to get paid; thankfully he didn't take a cutthroat approach to the contract talks and admitted that he wanted to be a Twin for life.

This still doesn't mean they won't get swept by the Yankees; they probably will because MLB lets the team that spends the most win the World Series, which still isn't fair. But what the Twins could do they had to do, and they had to sign their guy, the man they picked first overall, the person whom they believed could blossom into someone special and did. It's the obvious thing to do, but kudos anyway for doing the right thing because the cynic in me didn't believe it would happen for sure.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: -3). There's no one else. Our hockey team slides in the bridesmaid's spot on the heels of a 2-2 week. In a sign of how they stand in comparison to the rest of the NHL, San Jose came into the X on Tuesday and crushed them 4-1. The Sharks lead the Western Conference; the Wild are, like, nine points back for the final playoff spot. Yes, this was a transition period. But the same damn problem seem to be bedeviling this group: They just can't fucking score. They close out the month at Detroit, then at home versus Los Angeles and Chicago -- playoff-bound teams all.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -4). They go 1-3 for the week, with one cancellation. The Sunday capper against Samford at Birmingham was rained out -- good thing, because otherwise the Gophs faced a three-game sweep against a team I can't pronounce without having the urge to say "And Son!" They then split against North Dakota St. at the Dome earlier this week. Shit, when they said this team was young, they weren't kidding. This week they have a special one-night-stand against Concordia-Moorhead Wednesday. But the thing is their weekend series here against Louisiana Tech. The Friday and Sunday games are at the Dome, but the Saturday game will be something special: It'll be the first official game played at Target Field. Tickets, of which there will only be 25,000 at a cost of $2 apiece, will be sold starting at 8 in the morning at the stadium. There should be an open house between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. with the game against La. Tech at 1 p.m. I hope I can get there about a quarter to 1 and pass a person who went for the tour of Target Field but don't give a shit about the game. Wish me luck!

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7). What was the best game of their three losses this week -- the eight-point loss at the Lakers, the six-pointer at Target Center to Toronto, or the 13-point defeat at Charlotte (have they ever beaten the Bobcats in Charlotte, ever?)? That's now 14 losses in a row for the Woofie Dogs. OK, I understand there will be some hard knocks this team must take. But they haven't won in more than a month. Is there anything this team is learning now? Can they in the wake of such a long losing streak? They close out March at Orlando, then home to Phoenix and Sacramento. I will be at the Kings game on Wednesday. Hopefully they'll be able to break a 15-game losing streak then. Wish me (and them) luck!

#-Infinity (tie): Gopher men's basketball, women's hockey, and wrestling (Last Week: -1, -2, and -5, respectively). I've come to realize that since many winter tournaments end around the same time, I'll be posting a double, triple, maybe even a quadruple -Infinity spot for U. teams annually. This year is better than the five (I think) I grouped together last year, but this is just as bad. At least I can combine these into one relatively smaller post.

Where should I start? I guess chronologically. I was at the Hooters downtown to watch the Tournament Friday, specifically the male ballers. I picked Minnesota to get to the Sweet 16 because I thought they had congealed down low, I liked their path, and lately it seems that the lowest BCS seed somehow makes it to the second weekend. Well, I chose the wrong lowest seed; Washington was also an 11, and they beat Marquette and New Mexico. Meanwhile, I forgot something about the Gophs: They can't score. And midway through the second half it became obvious that the best player on the court, the one who has a shadow of a chance making it to the NBA, was Xavier's Jordan Crawford, who put the Musketeers on his back on the way to victory, sick finger roll and all. Another one-and-done. I underestimated Tubby Smith's impotence as a bad tournament coach.

Later that night I made it to Ridder and, because I forgot to buy tickets beforehand, I paid what I would have paid for all three games just for the two semifinals of the Frozen Four. Although it seemed that both the women's hockey team and their opponent, UMD, would wax whoever came out of the other side (turned out to be Cornell, which was unseeded and still beat #1 overall seed Mercyhurst), the Bulldogs were still miles and miles better than the Gophers, despite winning 3-2. The one thing that stood out to me: Minnesota had a bitch of a time getting out of their own defensive zone. UMD was just forechecking and forechecking all game. In particular the Bulldogs had this one bitch, Emmanuelle Blais; this cocky motherfucker, who stands only 5'4" so you know she's a load personally, was in their way the whole fucking game. (She did that in the final too, when she was named Most Outstanding Player of the Frozen Four was UMD won in triple overtime, 3-2 [and by the way, all three games in the Women's Frozen Four ended 3-2]). How did the Duluth campus of the University of Minnesota win their fifth championship while the Twin Cities campus has only two? One indication: the Gophers are fully stocked with Minnesotans; UMD recruit non-Minnesotans for their team. Coincidence?

And finally, although I feel bad for emphasizing the negative in light of one shining star, the wrestling team finished below their ranking in the weekly polls. Despite being considered fifth in the country, the NCAA Championships ended Saturday with the Gophs as a team finishing seventh, 71.5 points behind champions Iowa. Is that good enough? Really? At least Minnesota claims the Championships Outstanding Wrestler, Jayson Ness. The man came from behind to notch a near fall at the buzzer against his main rival, the Hawkeyes' Daniel Dennis, to win at 133 lb. championship and finish the season 31-0. That's impressive. J Robinson needs several more people like Ness next year.

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