Friday, March 19, 2010

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1). Tubby's team takes the top spot simply because they exceeded expectations. Sure, major conference tournaments are at best of dubious utility, for many teams who know they're locks can't be trusted to bring their "A" game. I doubt Michigan St. did, and that's why the Gophs beat them in the quarters. Then they were lucky to see Purdue without their Robbie Hummel, and remembering how they let their game against the Boilermakers at Williams get away from them the club made sure that wasn't going to happen again. That was probably the win that got them in the NCAA Tournament; losing by 29 to Ohio St. in the final certainly did.

And it might just be me, but I was confident enough to put this team in the Sweet 16. Why? Xavier nor Pittsburgh have the inside muscle that the Gophers have with Ralph Sampson III and Colton Iverson. If they get on track, and if Lawrence Westbrook can stay on the floor, I think they can take two games. Now see them lose to the Musketeers tomorrow (Friday) morning by 20.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -4). Because there's nobody else. They beat Clarkson, which is good, but they had to go to overtime to win, at home. They have to face the fact that they're not the premier program in women's hockey now. That's going to be a hard pill to swallow, especially if (when?) they lose either in the Frozen Four semifinal Friday (tomorrow) or the final Sunday.

OK, sorry to be so harsh and bitter. It's just that I meant to buy tickets to the Frozen Four today, and I was actually there, but I bought tickets to the women's basketball regional that I also planned on going to, and I remembered about halfway between the ticket office and my car, which are about 1 1/2 miles apart. I felt this huge need to go back, but I had shit to do and it was hot and I was tired and I am so pissed at myself for forgetting. And now I'm logging in and the cheapest ticket is $30, twice as much as it would have cost if only I remembered. I don't think I can go now. I can't remember a fucking thing anymore. ...

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -7). These guys went 3-1 last week? And they have somehow gotten (kind of) back into the playoff race?! Well, that's the NHL for you ... unless making up 6 points is more of a pipe dream that anything. That still could be the case, and now that I've stopped forgetting, I saw how hard this team has to work just to win with my own eyes. I was at the game Tuesday against Edmonton, which is by far the worst team in the league, and they were tied with Oilers at 2 before scoring two goals to coast to victory. You'd think they'd have a slightly easier time of it against such a horrible team. Anyway, they are so far behind that they need to win virtually every game to make it, so last night's (Thursday night's) 5-0 turd at Nashville might be fatal. They play four game this week: at Columbus, home to Calgary and San Jose, then at Philadelphia.

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3). I'm glad I decided to go to the state boy's high school hocky big school championship game Saturday night instead of the Gopher game against Creighton at the Dome. They lost that game, which began a 4-game losing streak. They bookended the week with wins versus Harvard and Samford. Their measuring stick was a double-dip at ranked Alabama ... and they lost them both. Ah, the Big Ten as a mid-major. ... They continue their four-game series at Samford this weekend, then host North Dakota St. for two during the middle of next week.

#-5: Wrestling (Last Week: -2). They were 10th in the morning session of the first day of the NCAA Tournament today (Thursday), and reached 8th in the afternoon. So that's good, right? Well, it's better than backsliding, although they're supposed to be a Top Five school. Tourney and season ends Saturday.

#-6: Swarm (Re-Entry!). Lost 20-11 at Philadelphia, a team that has a worse record than them. The best teams manage to defeat bad teams at their place -- so says me and my ego. That's weird; they had two weeks off before this loss against the Wings, and they'll have two weeks off after it. What the heck kind of a schedule is this?

#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6). They lost all four of their games this week -- like hell you say! They have now lost 11 in a row. My Buddha, this team blows. But I have to say this: They are making tickets as fucking cheap as possible, and many people, seeking a bargain for their entertainment, are taking the Woofie Dogs up on this offer. Everybody knows that this franchise will suck for a while, but the organization is doing all they can to make the fan feel appreciated as they're going through this sucky time. The fans will need a lot of patience, including in the short term: They visit the Bastard Minneapolis Lakers, host Toronto, then visit Charlotte. Expect the streak to reach 14.

#-Infinity: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5). Should I give them credit for stealing a win in the play-in series against North Dakota Saturday? OK, I won't. For the first time in a dozen years and for only the second time ever, the host of the WCHA Final Five won't actually be in the Final Five; the Gophs, who finished seventh in the regular season, lost 2 games to 1 in their best-of-three to the hated Fighting Sioux. Good fucking God, now what'll this team do? They keep recruiting all this talent with nothing to show for it. Did you hear the list of the finalists for the Hobey Baker Award is out -- and surprise, not a single Gopher is on it! Is Don Lucia the problem for al? I don't even want to think about this abomination of a program. ...

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