I'm Sorry, But I Still Have To Talk About The Store

Today I stayed for about 45 minutes, and that was with me staying 15 minutes after Father said I could go. He said it was busy in the morning, but there was one person who was there when I came in, which is one more than had been there previous days, of which I chronicled on this blog.

I was lucky to come in at all. Because I was late for this new work I found, what I thought was a call to Father at around 2 was one around 2:30. This would actually be so late that Father would tell me not to even bother to come. But when I called him, he didn't pick up, so I just went to the store.

What I saw was more closing up, I'm afraid. More stuff is on carts on the three aisles and in the back. I thought I saw Father doing inventory when I came in. I saw he wrote prices on boxes, and they were priced to move. At least he hasn't turned off any freezers. Yet.

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One of the things I was determined to do was to prune as much of the lilac bushes as I could. I could use the non-compostable plastic bags to dump the branches in and have Father take them to the dumpster. I should have done it yesterday, but I didn't due to a combination of cloudy, drizzly weather and my laziness.

I was determined to do some of it today. I don't have much time left; if I'm right about the drop dead date for the store, I had today and have Friday, Saturday and Monday before my trip. Since I was late today and the weather was still crummy, I got around to pruning at 6, right after a well-needed nap and before I headed off to the Lynx game. I cut down a huge branch, but it was only one of three or four I had sliced off the bushes. Still, I was able to fill up a bag that I had been saving for a couple weeks; now that it was full, I could put it and a huge root outside for Father to put in the minivan to dump in the store's dumpster.

Well, I come home from the game tonight to see the bag and the branch still out in front, resting against the vinyl siding of the house. Does that mean that he has already ended dumpster service to the store? If that's so ... well, for one thing, that means my plan of pruning the brushes is done. I got through some, but I'm by no means done. And if the branches can't be put in the dumpster, why do it?

But moreover, it's yet another sign that the store is closing. Today and yesterday ... maybe it's the shitty weather, but I feel its end coming close. Real close. And while some days I was OK with it, and even felt good about it, I feel this overwhelming sense of dread over it the past 48 hours. Regardless of my parents' actions and/or their motives, which may be true and right; I am about to lose something this family had, and that has been weighing on my mind for the past couple of days. I can feel it slipping away, and that change is something I haven't come to grips with, don't think I will ever come to grips with, and, frankly, don't want to come to grips with.