Eyedrop Study Fail

This week marks the last week of a 63-day project where I am supposed to put these anti-allergy eyedrops in my eyeballs twice a day.  The study ends when I come in for examination Friday.  For two months of this (and not using any allergy medication to alleviate my runny nose because that'll interfere with the effects of the eyedrops), I am getting paid three installments of $25 each.  That seems a little low, but for the most part my eyes have not itched throughout what experts say is the worst allergy season in generations.

However, I feel bad that I haven't been vigilant in either putting in the eyedrops or writing them down in the journal.  I'm supposed to take them every 12 hours, but because of work, the changing of my schedule on weekends, and forgetfulness, I am officially one dose behind.  I have tried to catch up by shrinking the time between drops to 10 (which the coordinator said I could do, although she doesn't like that), but I continually fail to keep up with that compressed schedule.  For example, I had to take my drops as soon as I got up this morning, but hearing My Fucking Father outside totally sucked up all my attention.  Combine that with a freak traffic back-up going to work this morning -- goddamn, I'm still pissed off over that because it cost me 15 minutes' worth of wages that I'll never fucking get back -- and I left the eyedrops in my trunk.  I took them a bit past noon on my lunch break; that means I took them at 10:40 tonight and (hopefully) in the 8 o'clock hour tomorrow morning.  Unfortunately this means that Thursday morning I should take them around 4 in the morning, which probably won't happen because I'll be dead asleep.  (Being asleep is the main reason I miss eyedrop sessions.)  Pushing out my drops means there's a very good chance I will be one behind when I come in on Friday afternoon.

One even worse secret: I forget the times I take the eyedrops.  I have a journal but I don't carry it around with me.  Instead I leave at it home and try to remember when I take them.  I think I've done a good-enough job, but early on, in the middle of the third week, I was filling out the blanks and saw that I had several blanks still empty.  I had no fucking idea what the times were, so I just bluffed and put times down.  I'm an idiot, a liar and an asshole, I know.  And I feel bad that this journal does not have the integrity a serious, rigorous study like this requires.