I write this roughly halfway through my parents' week-plus-long vacation. Right now it is raining outside. Surrounding me is not just stuff that my parents would want me to throw away, but shit that we would all agree needs to be either cleaned or tossed: Plastic trays of food Mother prepared for me before she left, cans of Sprite that belong in the recycling container, old Entertainment Weeklys that were waterlogged in my storage unit that I'm drying out by pulling each page apart from each other (and a few times failing).
I want to be productive while they're away without sensing their prying, judgmental eyes on me. Scratch that: I want to get a handjob before they come back. But that didn't happen, and with work stopping earlier than they said again, I don't know if it's wise to spend more money beyond going to seeing another All-Time Favorite in the sticks tonight. I so, so need a hot girl to wank my dick till I cum, but I don't think I can afford it.
Also, I do have a lot of things I want to get done. I feel awful, but I just don't feel I can get them done with my parents around. Unfortunately, I'm not really doing these things without them around, either.
Now there are a few things I have done. I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version), and my folks sent me to The Store to continue dumping their old product. I think I did it as much as I could, so I'm happy to a) please my parents and b) accomplish something fully.
The downside to having eight days to do your to-do list, at least for me, is that I can't decide what tasks I should do. I let circumstances what I can and can't do. For example, I decided to start painting the shed, a project that's going into its third year, yesterday because the forecast called for rain today. The shed is backed into a corner of the backyard, and I wanted to crawl around to the backside and paint that. Also, the shed is so high that I would need a chair to stand on to reach the top. For some reason, painting that part of shed, let alone painting the high parts, is something I didn't feel I could work on till my parents were gone. (There's one side of the shed that's so close to the neighbor's fence I just can't paint that.) I painted after coming back from The Store (I thought about dumping my parents' stuff at The Store on the way to work last night, but I decided not to because a] I didn't know how early I would have to leave for the western suburbs when the main highway from where The Store is downtown is very clogged going out for evening rush, and b] I didn't want to smell going to work or anywhere I decided to go afterward) and after a good, well-deserved nap, and so I did enough that I won't need to use the chair to stand on and paint.
I often look at tasks through opportunity; that is, if I have two or more things I could do, I ask myself what can I put off till tomorrow and what I should do today because I won't be able to do it tomorrow. I painted the shed instead of, say, storing my EWs because I could do that today, now, indoors, while it's raining outside.
Except that I'm not. I'm blogging, which is something I was intent on still doing. However I'm also playing Mafia Wars on facebook; I hadn't played it in a long time, so I have a lot of catching up to do, but that was not something on my list.
Look, I'm not going to get done. I have so much shit to do, and for most of them I have no idea how to even start. I'm still not done with that shed, for example. I have to paint the rest of the back. And I'm not even done with the chair, either; there is a tree that prevents me from just going behind the shed, so instead I have to put the chair on the other side of the fence to climb over to the other side, take the chair again, put it next to the back of the shed, then climb back over to our property. I guess I could just leap over it, but I'm old, and when I needed to use the chair and realized I didn't have to worry about my foot slipping or my testicles landing on the chain-link fence, I knew I could just put it away.
I can't put many things away right now. Instead of dancing around to Bob Seger in my shirt, underwear and socks like Tom Cruise in Risky Business (although I walk around in my boxers only and sleep naked in my sister's room because I can and don't have nobody here), I decided to swamp myself with the sundry items that my folks think I trashed but I instead am trying to sort and archive. I have tons of boxes here. I have gone through none of them yet. If my parents surprisingly came home, they would see these boxes, harken back to the days I had boxes everywhere and immediately ask me where the fuck these boxes came from. And they would be pissed.
I want to box as many magazines as I can. There are special items, such as game even programs and lineup sheets, that I want to sort out. And there are papers that I want to read and, believe it or not, throw away. I just have no idea if I'll have the time to pull it off. Maybe not going to a stripclub every night will help. But already I'm hesitating because I already feel overwhelmed.
And that's not to mention all the other things I want to do: Have my parents' minivan detailed ... spray-protect the house ... give Grandmother's diapers to my sister's best friend's mom ... look into changing the house's phone plan ... try to make spaghetti ... write my sports columns and strip club reviews (goddamn, I haven't written either in weeks!), etc. On Monday I made out the to-do list. I'm looking at it right now. I have crossed out four of my 16 things, and one of them I crossed out (a party where I could have gotten a handjob) because I couldn't make it because of work.
I'm a failure. On Wednesday I'm going to have to pack up all the boxes I brought inside without even touching them and take them back to the storage unit, where I'll have to frantically shove them back in and surrender them to the elements. I want to enjoy this spate of freedom, but all I can think of right now is how this is going to end, and whether I will be productive by the time the 'Rents come back.
Wish me luck. And pray for me, if you're so inclined.
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